would you tell? - from lisar's post

cameragirl21 wrote: here's a debate a friend of mine and i have all the time--if you were being cheated on would you want to know and if someone you know was being cheated on would you tell?
i'm not going to ask if you'd want to know because i'm afraid that will lead to hurt feelings and an explosive thread so let's just keep this one sided--would you tell if you knew for sure that someone you know had infidelity in their marriage or relationship?
my friend said she wouldn't tell but then again she wouldn't want to know if it were happening to her. in my case, i'd want to know if it were happening to me but i'd ONLY tell if it were a very close friend of mine, only because i try not to get involved in things that aren't my business.
would you tell? and if the couple had kids, would you be less likely to tell? i know i would be less likely if kids were in the equation.

stella6979 replied: Heck yes I would want to know. Who knows what he could be bringing home to me. And yes, I would tell and in fact, I have. My Dad was cheating on my Mom and I was the one who let her know.

cameragirl21 replied:
wow, i'm sorry about that, Stella. you are a very strong woman, more power to you.

mom2my2cuties replied: I think if the person doing the cheating came to me and said this is what I am doing. I would have to tell them that I can not be a part of thier wrongdoing in any form and would ask them to refrain from telling me of thier expolits, otherwise I would cut off contact with them until they changed.

I don't think I would go to thier partner and say anything. But I would definately keep my distance. Because "Bad Company Corrupts Good Morals" But saying something would not be my place. Although, I do believe that the sins we commit in the dark will come into the light. And that the person who was cheated on will find out. Because no matter how skilled you are, you can't truly fool those who are close to you.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Yes, I'd want to know so I can kick his arse to the curb!

Yes, I would tell because I believe it to be an immoral and just immature thing to do so I would tell, especially if the people were married! I have no tolerance for people who cheat on their spouses.

stella6979 replied:
I was younger then and felt she had the right to know. I love my Dad, but when it comes to cheating, that is just flat out disrespectful and I sure as heck wasn't going to let him make her out to be a fool. It was all for the best though. They got divored, my Mom found a wonderful man, and my Dad has been with his now girlfriend for a couple of years.

C&K*s Mommie replied: Truly it depends, on how close I was with the parties involved. Sometimes it is just not my business, so I cannot and will not say anything.
I say that because a friend of Chris' makes no apologies and flaunts his many (many many many) g/f's on the side around town. His current g/f is completely 1) oblivious & blind or 2) an idiot. We are friends, but I am not very close to the current g/f, but I am more inclined to believe that she is an idiot for not seeing what is going on. We on the outside looking in know what is going on, but who knows why she does not.

One time she (the current g/f) made a comment to my DH about having flat tires often. He was like . Come to find out the b/f (the friend of Chris) was telling her that these middle of the night phone calls were from Chris, he needed a lift because of his flat tires.

gr33n3y3z replied: yes why not I would like to know if it were me and not be made an @&& out of lol

redchief replied: It would very much depend on who was doing the cheating and who was being cheated on. Getting involved in someone else's marital infidelity can be a two edged sword.

MyBabeMaddie replied: Hmm thats a tough one... As much as I would want to tell just because I don't think anyone should have to go through a relationship blind to their s/o's unfaithfulness, I wouldn't want to be involved and be the bearer of bad news. I think if I was close enough to them I would tell the one doing the cheating how I felt and that if they don't come clean I would do it for them...

Crystalina replied: Yes I would want to know.

No, I would not tell a friend. I would suggest differances in SO's behavior or hint but that is all. I saw this first hand with me and two of my good friends. We were three couples and we all hung out. One found out and told the other friend. She then confronted DH and they worked it out but then DH was upset with our friend for ratting him out and it caused hurt feeling and we were no longer a happy trio of couples.

If it were family I would say something though because in my family we all have big mouths. There are no secrets and if one is ever found out it takes 2.3 seconds until the telephones start working overtime.

My2Beauties replied: It depends on how close I was to the person being cheated on, if we're talking best best friend or close family member, then yeah I'd tell. I would want them to know. If it was just an acquaintance or someone that I didn't consider a best friend then I would mind my business, I obviously don't know them well enough to know the ins and outs of their relationship anyways, so why bother? If it were me being cheated on, I would want to know if it were a good friend of mine and I trusted them and I knew they weren't lying. If someone that I wasn't on good terms with or didn't really know came to me and said something, I'd be inclined to do my own investigating but I wouldn't jump to conclusions immediately.

MomToJade&Jordan replied: I'm on the fense with this one because I went through it all first hand. My spouse did cheat on me even after telling me that it would never happen. Yes I would want to know, but I don't know if I could turn around and tell someone that it was happening to them. When a spouse cheats it's betrayal plain and simple. That's what it feels like. The pain of infedelity runs very deep and even now I'm still trying to recover from it all. I am divorced, his choice not mine. In the end he walked away from his family to be with the girl he cheated on me with. I just don't know if I could ruin someones life like that.

quinnandjacob'smom replied: I don't think I would tell unless it was my bf or a close family member. I suspected a friend's dh of cheating, but I never said anything. I hate to be in the middle of things like that. Well, she found out all on her own about it and I feel good that I stayed out of it.