would welcome advice on sleep - sensative child

boyohboyohboy wrote: ok, I am about desperate here.
as many of you know, Jake is my most challanging child. He has not slept thur the night yet, at 16 months of age.
I tried very hard the CIO method. Jake got worse each night, he cried himself into a blue shaking, puking mess. Neither my Dh or I could take it anymore. He cried longer each night, not less.
so that didnt work for us. I tried variations of that method, sitting beside the bed and trying it inch my way out of the room.

Right now, we have a bed time routine, and we rock him to sleep each night at the same time, as well as naps. he goes to sleep rather easily, however he wakes every hour and half, and cries. If I let him cry he wakes himself totally up and then its very hard to get him back to sleep. so i go in and then lay him down and he takes a sippy cup and goes right back to sleep, but then he might get right back up a half hour later, and this is how the entire night goes. I am up for some part of every hour each night.

We have started letting him take a sippy cup of pediasure to bed with him, and he is taking about 3 cans thru the night. he just takes drinks thru the night and goes right back to sleep.


ok so here is my question. we have him a shared room right now with his brother, but he is keeping him awake. so we are moving him into his own room, and putting soft toys in and books, and his bed and a bean bag chair and nothing else. I am going to gate the room, and try to see what happens if i dont go in when he crys.
but we are also just reading the info on the SID and out of sync child and I think this might be jake to some degree, so is this mean, if this is what he has, is it mean to let him try to work thur his own sleep issues? I really dont care if he gets up and plays quietly and goes back to sleep on his own, as long as he lets the rest of us sleep, and he will be safe gated in his room....we cant co sleep, my husband works terrible hours and will wake him, he also snores really loud and it wakes jake. so co sleeping isnt something we can do. we have tried.

I really dont know what else to do, any advice is helpful. we will try anything at this point. also we are expecting a new baby in 6 months so we have to get jake into some sleep pattern by then.

hopefulmomtobe replied: oh wow - that sounds really rough. I saw something just like this on Nanny 911 and she did what you have been doing, she made the dad stand by the door until the boy finally fell asleep himself and she had the dad just keep saying, "Im right here, Im not going anywhere" The boy cried and cried and the dad was very upset and turning red in the face over it, but fortunetly for them, this only lasted 3 days or so.

I think you should stick it out a while longer maybe because I really dont think there is another option. Eventually he will get used to going to sleep on his own. My kids used to get out of bed and come in my room and I would walk them back and make them stay in there bed, I wouldnt give in at all even if they were going nuts. I just ignored it and acted like it didnt bother me. But, then again...if you think he might have a problem like SID or something, then I would talk to your peds and see what they suggest.

Sorry you are going through this, that is very tough!

redplaydoh replied: Have you discussed this with his pediatrician? I'd be curious to know what they say about it all. That has to be rough!

coasterqueen replied: I don't have any advice for you accept I would NOT ask your pediatrician, but that's just me. What's he gonna say? Let him CIO. Or give you advice that he used. His degree does not give him the knowledge on sleep OR even SID for that matter. At least most don't. I'd personally bring this up with his OT. Have you done that yet? That is the person who you would be talking about SID anyways. Has the OT diagnosed that yet?

I wish I could offer you more, but with both my girls I just co-slept with them when they were like this. Dh and I didn't sleep in the same bed most of that time. Kylie was my worst and I spent the 1st two years of her life sleeping in her bed w/her. With Megan it wasn't as bad.

GL.

amymom replied: I would agree with a child who is very healthy that cio might work. It did not work for Mary Beth. Monday morning quarterbacking it, we did not do enough to deal with her food issues. She did not sleep through the night (more than 3 hrs) until her 2nd birthday. What helped with her, was we took her out of a crib, she was more secure on the floor with a mattress that was elevated at one side so she could sleep on an incline. Kind of like this: / but not that steep. We tucked a hard pillow under one end of the mattress. The incline helped with her reflux. She also was more secure with being tucked in all the way around, almost like swaddling.

If his tummy is bothering him, he can not express it and you have no way of knowing. MB was just miserable!

I understand your need for sleep, There were many nights MB would play in her room, like you are suggesting doing with him.

Good Luck to you.

mom21kid2dogs replied:
Totally ditto this. We co slept as well. O didn't sleep consistantly through the night until after she was 2.5 so I know your pain. We have a double bed in her room. If she got very awake, she and I would just move in there so as not to disrupt my husband (also a very poor sleeper, go figure).

Hope you find something that helps in your situation.

hopefulmomtobe replied: I suggested asking the peds doctor, not as far as asking advice for what to do, but more for making sure there isn't a medical problem causing him to cry like reflux. If he has a clean bill of health and is just not wanting to go to sleep I think that would make her feel better...I would want to know that my child was ok health wise and just crying not to want to go to sleep then crying in pain.

boyohboyohboy replied: Jakob has had a clean bill of health. He does not have reflux, and luckily he seems to be doing better with his eating. He is maintaining a healthy weight finally...

I have talked to the OT about it, unfortunetly right now she hasnt diagnosised him with it. he doesnt fall into any one particular catagory. I dont think its a sight or hearing over load, I do however wonder if its not a "touch" over load, he has had terrible eczema his entire life. and now that we have it under control, i still see where he pulls his hair or sometimes tuggs his ears, as if it itches, (no ear infections) so I wonder if his skin just isnt crawling...we went to the dermatologist, and she said we are using all the right cremes, however they are steroids so we cant use them daily. I lotion him like nuts....

I have tried just plain cotten clothes, and night sheets, no blankets. He is at the stage of pulling off all his clothes and diapers, which is not good.

I tried benedryl several nights in a row to see if it helped, it didnt, he reacts very hyper to benadryl.

the ot suggested, a weighted blanket, but it was way to heavy. it had a lead weight in it like you use to wear if getting an xray.

we are working with the ot but so far no help with the sleep patterns.

I think I am going to try to write dr sears and ask. its on his web site you can write him.

I have made the mistake of asking my ped, and after the usual answers of finding out it wasnt reflux, and it wasnt his hunger issues, he then said he is strong willed and we just needed to break that, by putting our foot down...and honestly I wish it was that easy with him, but he is strong, and he will shut his eyes and scream , not cry, scream until he throws up....its terrible.

I am still wondering if its not some kind of allergy, he doesnt sleep with stuffed animals or blankets though.

I wish there were more moms of kids here with SID. is there a web site or board of such does anyone know?

coasterqueen replied: Have you tried swaddling him? Try a large lightweight blanket and swaddle him for say, nap time and see how that does. Megan needs deep touch (SID) and for the longest time she needed to be swaddled. I know he's much older, but still he might still crave deep touch, possibly? Megan still has to sleep with 3 special thick blankets or else she can't sleep at all.

cameragirl21 replied:
Stacy, try some evening primrose oil for his eczema...put a few drops in his bottle (or whatever he drinks) and it will be gone forever in 2 weeks...you just have to keep giving him a few drops daily and it will never come back. that way you don't have to use harsh steroid creams. it treats the problem from the inside out so he won't be itchy.
others here have tried it and said it worked for them and i swear by the stuff as i am very prone to eczema and don't get it anymore, ever.

hopefulmomtobe replied: http://www.kid-power.org/sid.html

http://www.sinetwork.org/


Here are two website I found, maybe they will have links to a board or something so you can talk to other parents.

Coasterqueen had a good point that brought up this question, where does he take his naps? Can he sleep with the same stuff and or the same place that he takes his naps, that is if he doesnt have a problem with naptime like he does bedtime. Just a thought.

DansMom replied: I feel for you, Stacy. These are not easy issues to deal with. Lots of anxiety for mom and child, lots of second guessing, lots of conflicting advice. It seems to me that your instincts are good, and that you do good research, and that you have been doing everything you can to figure out how to help your child---if instinct is telling you that having his own gated room is worth a try... well, things probably won't get worse at least. Things might stay the same, in which case you'll try another approach after a few weeks. It seems worth trying.

Even when I coslept, just the waking up and comforting back to sleep every 1.5 to 3 hours was enough to keep me comatose at work. I lived in a constant daze. Daniel started sleeping 5 hours a stretch at about age 2, and this made a huge difference to my health. At some point their bodies need more extended sleep---I hope this happens for Jake soon!

CantWait replied: No advice, sorry. Just wanted to say I hope you find a solution soon.

msoulz replied: As you know I am no help but I wanted to send a

mom21kid2dogs replied:
I had one OT that worked with my older SI kids that recommended clothing with a high degree of spandex. It can simulate the deeper pressure without the cumbersomeness of blankets. I'm thinking those full body swimsuits might be an option if swaddling doesn't work well with him.

boyohboyohboy replied: thank you so much for the advice and support. It means the world to just be able to vent. Dh sleeps thru most of this, and although he feels bad for me, he just doesnt seem to understand.
I think I am just so tired, and would really like to enjoy Jake more, before the new baby comes....its just so hard.

so today I made up his room, and put all the soft things I can think of, and a night light, and made it baby proof. My hope is to play in there a lot today, and get him used to the idea. I will sleep in there for one night, as I dont know if my body is to old to handle sleeping on the floor at this point..

I could sure use prayers tonight.

Calimama replied:
I'll keep you in my prayers tonight. I hope it goes smoothly for both of you.

mom2my2cuties replied:
This is actually a VERY common reaction to Benadryl in a lot of young children. Andrea has the same reaction, but oddly enough, sugar and caffine don't really seem to have that same reaction.

Even sleeping pills/sedatives have the same "hyper psycho baby" reaction on her.

I really hope you are able to get some sleep It's rough when you just simply don't know what to do anymore

boyohboyohboy replied: ok, so far so good, I have him in his own room, and snuggled in a blanket and some pillows behind his back to think we are there....lets see how long that lasts.

blue72 replied: I had similar problems with my son at that age as well. We had to move my school aged child out of their room because it was disrupting his sleep too much. I think it is a good idea to have him in his own room.

I would stop giving him his drink in the middle of the night 1st. It would seem to me he is waking up for the drink. I would still provide the comfort but no drink. Once he doesn't require the drink any longer, I would work on not providing your comfort.

sweetgirl replied: So sorry you are having this problem!! My lil' boy is 18m0. and he is waking alot too. I think as long as you know they are not sick(fever), and appear safe in there beds, Maybe being consistant with trying to stay out of the room, after going in twice. Usually, Landon will cry out in the middle of the night, but I listen and usually he goes back to sleep. I hope things get worked out, I know it's hard!! Hang in there. Peige Landon

coasterqueen replied: So how did it go last night? I was thinking about you and wishing things went well.