what do you think of the theory - Dr.Sears high needs child

boyohboyohboy wrote: I was researching this again. I have read it before, on the Dr sears website...but the more and more I read about it, I am starting to believe the idea of a high needs child. Of course the older generation tends to think that this describes any child at a given time, and that there seems to be a need to Lable kids now a days, that was my mom speaking, but I was wondering if there are any of you who subscribe to this way of thinking, or have what you think is a high needs child.

mummy2girls replied: I havent read it or on that topic but i am pretty sure Jenna is high needs.. She has to have everything done NOW! she wants to get clothes all the time, shoes etc, She will throw fits like you wouldnt believe if she doesnt get what she wants. she needs things done her way and if its not done look out. i dont bow down at her with everything she says or wants but like i said if i say no WHOA DOGGY!!!! also if her hair is not perfect she will come to me and say she neess her hair done!

coasterqueen replied: I've read a lot on high needs children and am a total believer of it.

MyLuvBugs replied: If by "high needs" you mean a child that is always needing your attention 24/7 and is acting out to get your attention (ie fussy, temper tantrums, screaming, throwing things, real defiant and independant).....then yes! I have a couple of them right here in front of me.

However, I do agree that there is a HUGE subscription in recent years towards labeling kids. Also a huge subscription to medicate kids b/c they aren't acting the way we want them to act. I don't agree with either one of those. I personally believe that if you have a "high spirited" child (what I like to call them) then it's up to the parents to figure out a way to discipline and communicate and teach that child how to function and act properly in society. KWIM?
Sorry if that was a little off topic.

Jamison'smama replied: I believe it also. Jamison is spirited and high needs, she has been since birth. Jack is not, he is more mild and easy going.

MoonMama replied: Hmm...sounds interesting, I would love to learn more about it.

CantWait replied:
Ditto.

coasterqueen replied: Spirited/High Needs means more than a demanding child. There are reasons to their
"demands". Most people do not know or understand what this "label" means. The reason the "label" came about is because kids who are spirited/high needs were being considered ADD/ADHD and even autism kids when in fact they were not those things. So studies/descriptions were done to formally make the distinction between those who are have certain problems and those who in fact have ADD/ADHD/Autism.

While I don't like labeling kids, I can guaranty you that if you had a spirited/high needs child you'd be happy for that label versus what parents were told long ago. We all use labels....smart, slow, talented, this....that.....

Boo&BugsMom replied: I totally agree with Ericka, although I see where you are coming from too Karen. That's a whole other topic though that I'd rather not get into. I will say this though...my basic opinion on labeling is that there are way too many parents who don't know how to parent and professionals don't often enough look into the home life before putting a label on a child. I have seen so many instances where if the parents did their job, then their child would be different. Not ALL, but a lot from being in my field of work. Enough said on that though...

As far as the original topic I have never read anything by Dr. Sears so I have no idea what it is or what it means, but I would love to hear more about it. It has my curiosity.

kit_kats_mom replied:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T050200.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T050600.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T050300.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T050400.asp

Calimama replied:
Same here..

boyohboyohboy replied: I think Jakob might be high needs. I should say, I am sure he is, its just taking me this long to accept it.
He really fits into the description of his sleep patterns and his ways of eating..and his moods. He used to be very difficult to kiss and hug, but he has since gotten over that.
I think it has to do with the over stimulation.
he still just doesnt seem to listen, he tunes us out. and "no" means nothing to him. discpline is so hard..

I cant get Jakob to sleep yet, he sleeps about an hour for his two naps a day. and not at night longer then 3 hours at a time. i am really concerned how we are going to get him to sleep when the new baby comes.

I think I am going to do some more research into the high needs kids...
Karen do you have any suggestions on books?

coasterqueen replied:
Yes. Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. There is another book that Brenda mentioned recently that I am supposed to get per Megan's OT and I just keep forgetting to get it. I can't for the life of me remember the name of the book, though. I used Mary's book a lot with Kylie. I'd loan it to you but the last person I loaned it to never returned it, that's why I don't even have it to use w/Megan.

DansMom replied: I believe in the theory.

boyohboyohboy replied: I am headed to the library to find that book tomorrow. if you think of the name of the other let me know....I was thinking you might have mentioned it to me before, but my mind is cluttered! thanks!

Jamison'smama replied:
The Out-of-Sync Child by Carol Stock Kranowitz

boyohboyohboy replied: oh thanks, I am adding it to my list