need advice re: school bus rules

boyohboyohboy wrote: Caleb is now 8yrs old, that being said, he is an immature 8. I dont allow him to play outside alone, unsupervised. I dont allow him to walk to and from the bus alone.
He isnt able to pay attention to watch for cars on the two streets he would cross on the way home, even though we live less then 3 blocks from the bus stop.
He also doesnt pay attention to what is going on around him to know if something was wrong or someone was watching him to walk home alone.

He is way to trusting.

that being said, our bus is to come at 420p to drop him off. I am there daily at 4p, rarely shows up until 440-445p. Well this week we had two early dismissal days, I assumed that meant he should be there at 220p-245p. yesterday I started for the bus at 215p, he was already off, and he was upset. He and a 5yr old girl got off the bus and didnt see their parents and asked the bus driver what to do and he said walk home, and left. so I called the bus company owner this morning and said that I wasnt happy about him walking home alone, and he said he was old enough to do so. I said no! that wasnt his call, I was coming at the time he told me to be there, and if he comes early then he needs to wait till we get there..the time he said to be there. Well today he came at 2p! 20 mins early! the kids again said to him, we are scared, and where are our parents? and he said get off the bus and walk, you are not my problem! and the kids were upset, caleb said to me, "mommy you promised to be there!"
so I am waiting now for a return call from the bus owner as well as the school principle. but I am wondering what I can do? I am afraid they are just going to say, if you dont like it then drive your own kid to school..
I mean what kind of human being lets kids off a bus who say they are scared and dont know what to do? we were told at the beginning of the year if a kindergardener is on the bus and her parents are not there, then the child would be returned to the school for the parents to come and get her..so why was the kindergardener let off?
what can I do.

boyohboyohboy replied: I thought I needed to add that there is a registered sex offender on our street, a child sex offender! there are numerous other people I wouldnt want near my son.
There are always cops out here, all hours of the night, we were told the neighborhood hasnt been the greatest in the past year..
I dont think age has as much to do with it as surroundings!

why does the school think its ok to let kids walk alone thru here? I am sure that if he went missing, or something worse happened they are not going to take any responsibility for it.

coasterqueen replied: I guess I'd call the bus manager or the school, which I think you said you did (sorry, losing my mind these days ). It's much different for us because we live in a rural area so kids are dropped off at their homes or DCP, not at a bus stop, unless you live in a rural subdivision, then they are dropped off at the entrance of the subdivision, but only if they see parents in site. Same goes for dropping them off at home - if parent/adult is not outside when the bus gets there, they honk twice, if you do not come out, then they take the kids back to the bus barn and call you to come pick them up. I think once the kids get in middle school (5th grade, I think) then those rules don't apply - but those kids ride different buses anyways. There are buses for elementary, middle school, and high school kids.

jcc64 replied: In our school district, kindergarten kids are not permitted to leave the bus w/o a parent present, but all other kids can and do. I know this b/c my dd is very tiny, and she constantly has to remind the bus driver that she is in fact, a 2nd grader and allowed to get off the bus w/o me standing there waiting for her. Luckily, she gets off at the end of my very short driveway and walks directly into my house. Imo, I think 8 yo is probably old enough to walk 3 blocks unescorted.
As far as the child molester issue, honestly, that is not the problem of the bus company, and if you want complete peace of mind, you probably need to either be at the bus stop extra early or drive your kid to and from school yourself. I understand your concerns, but from the driver's perspective, he's got a whole route full of kids and parents to deal with, and he probably has to get done in a certain amount of time. I'd like to think he's not being an insensitive idiot just for kicks, but rather is answering to his boss or something.

boyohboyohboy replied: there has to be some accountablility though, I am at the bus stop 20 mins early faithfully, I have never missed the bus.
I follow their rules, I am there way earlier then he tells me to be daily, and he is almost always at least 15 mins late.
i can deal with that, traffic and what not, but now that there is the issue of the kids getting out of school 2 hours early, if they say there are going to be there in a certain amount of time, they should stick to it..since he was 20 mins early, he should have had to wait there until the time had passed that he was to be there.
how is it fair for him to say he is coming at 230p and get there at 2p?
and I dont agree that 8 is old enough to walk home alone, I assume that Jessy dugards family thought she would be fine too.
its not the same world we used to live in.
I cant drive my son back and forth to school, we dont have that luxury. If I follow their rules they have to follow them to.
They are responsible for my childs safety, I have instructed caleb that if we are not there to return to the bus and go back to school, if we have an emergency and had to leave the house, I would want to know he was safe at school not roaming around our neighborhood by himself.
schools certainly want to take charge of everything else in a childs life, why is it they are not responsible for making sure they are not left alone when dropped off from the bus? I can see if he had been fine with it and just walked home, but he said to the bus driver and with a 5 yr old girl in tow, we are scared, we want to go back to the school and he said no.
we spoke to the principle and he said he cant help us, and recommended we speak to the school board.
so thats the next move.

luvmykids replied: My guess is that on early release days a lot of kids either don't go to school at all or get picked up directly from school so the bus route is shorter.

Did you calculate what time the bus would be there, or did the driver tell you? I do agree that 20 minutes is a lot early but both here where we live now and in our old school district in NM, all the paperwork we had to sign said very clearly that times are not precise since they can vary so much depending on who actually rides the bus that day. Also, Kindy's weren't allowed off without parents but everyone else was, period....we didn't have the option of having them return to the school.

I agree, it stinks for the kids to be saying they're scared but don't really know you can do much about it...the bus company will tell you they are only responsible for your childs safety while your child is ON their bus, not after your child gets off. Is there another mom nearby that Caleb could go straight to her house if you're not there for some reason, or who could take him with her if you're not at the stop?

Good luck, I hope you get somewhere with the school board.

bluebear replied: Where I live, if nobody is at the bus stop, then the child has to stay on the bus and have the parent called to pick them up at the bus garage/school. It's really weird your schools don't do that, especially this time of year.

boyohboyohboy replied:
the school did send home a note with a time that the kids would be dropped off, I went 20 mins earlier then that note said to.

I have given caleb a plan B if we are not there before school started last year. he knows he can walk home, and how to get there, he is rather scattered brained though, and I am concerned about him thinking, where is mom, instead of looking for cars when he crosses the street. I am also concerned about him not watching for cars that might be watching him.

He was more concerned about the 5 yr old, and stayed with her, when she started to cry and get scared it scared him, and he didnt want to go off the path he was to take home and he didnt want to leave her, so he felt stuck in an impossible situation.

Its not that caleb cant walk home, its that I dont want him to be walking home alone. I am faithfully there daily..and I am not asking for more then what they promised, which is to get him home at a fairly reasonable time frame, and I am there earlier then that..


I am not taking it out on you, I really am frustrated, I think they are totally disregarding the safety of the kids..and he wants to ride the bus, we not able to take him to school and pick him up due to our work schedules, so there isnt another option, so fighting this thru the school board will have to be it.

luvmykids replied: I understand your frustration Unfortunately, I think all bus companies care about is getting them from point A to point B but I hope your school board is willing to back you up

My3LilMonkeys replied: I hope the bus owner is able to give you a suitable answer and get this issue resolved for you. And way to go Caleb for staying with the younger girl who was scared - that was really sweet of him.

coasterqueen replied: Our buses are never on time for anything. There is always a 30 minute window each way of when they can be there. I understand this, no matter how frustrating it is, because I rode the same school bus system and know that if kids are acting out, the bus gets pulled over until they shape up. Also, living rural you have to take into account the roads, weather, farmers/equipment on the roads going slow, etc, etc.

Do you have a bus manager? We have what is called the bus barn manager and that is who I express my concerns with - he oversees the rest of the bus drivers.

Wish I could be of more help.

boyohboyohboy replied: I called the bus owner, he is the one who makes the routes and hires the drivers..I dont know who else to talk to.
I have just asked for a window of time that we can all stick to, so I can be there, I am willing to give it a 30min window as long as they tell me what the window is..I understand totally being late for road and weather conditions, or bus behavior issues, because I will still be there, but not early, and not 30 mins early..
he has to stick to the window of time also..
thats all I am asking

jcc64 replied: So was he willing to stick with that, then?

boyohboyohboy replied: when I called him, he said to me he was driving and would call me back and hasnt yet. so my dh his calling him tomorrow.
I know some of the other parents from the bus stop called and were upset so he might not be in a hurry to call us back. I havent had a chance to explain to him what we are upset about.

cameragirl21 replied: I don't know what the solution here is but I do see it from both sides in that the bus driver sees this as a job and once the kids are dropped off then his work is done, so to speak.
Whether or not an 8 year old, ten year old, 16 year old, etc are old enough to walk from the bus stop to their home is subjective and ultimately can and should only be determined by the parents and no one else, especially not a bus driver.
I think the biggest problem I have here is that there are children involved and bad things can happen to children. I feel like it is the responsibility of all adults, parents or not, to go the extra mile to ensure a child's safety, even if doing so is not your "job" so to speak.
I can perhaps understand a bus driver's ambivalence toward an 8 year old walking a few blocks but cannot fathom any circumstance in which a five year old girl should be dropped off with complete apathy and lack of concern, especially if she says she is scared. For this reason, I feel this bus driver is perhaps not an ideal fit for a job that involves the well being and safety of children and if I were his boss, I am not sure I'd be comfortable keeping him in that sort of work capacity.
There was a case here in Miami, in the sticks where it is considerably safer than Miami itself, in the 90s about a boy called Jimmy Ryce...google him if you wish, but he was 9 and taken from his bus stop by a male who took him to his house (the man's house, not Jimmy's house), sodomized him and then killed him. The way I see it, 9 year old Jimmy would be a grownup today had it been safe for him to walk home from his bus stop, which btw was a block or so away from his home if I remember the story correctly.
Like I said, Idk what the solution is but dropping off children who say they're scared and their moms aren't there and just driving away is NOT the solution, that's for sure.
I'm sorry this is happening to you, Stacy, but after the story I lived through here with Jimmy Ryce, seeing his face on flyers everywhere offering up a reward and all the searches only to find out he died on or about the same day he was kidnapped, Idk, were I in your place, I'd raise holy you know what till a viable solution were found. And I hope you find it and don't back down till you do.

boyohboyohboy replied:
I think my problem is also, that this bus driver doenst have a clue where these kids live or how far they walk...they dont know.
they dont care.
I agree that his job is done once they get the kids to the bus stop, at the time they the bus service told us to be there...I dont see how its right to bring them early and drop them off..and say oh well.
I am not giving up on this, I have talked to caleb about what the alternative is, and how to be safe. I also told him we are super proud of him for staying with the little 5 yr old girl.

coasterqueen replied: ((HUGS)) I think it's sad that a bus driver thinks of what he/she does as a job. Maybe it's different in school systems where they contract out a bus driver company, who knows. Our bus drivers are hired by our school system - they run the buses. Most of the bus drivers live in the district, had/have kids themselves in the district.

mom21kid2dogs replied:
I agree totally. There really seems to be alot more ownership of the kids and their safety when the actual district provides the busing.

julesmom replied: Did the 5yr old's parents complain too? That might help if you are united.
I think it's ridiculous the driver let the kids off if they said they were scared. Where's the compassion?

Do you have someone in charge of your buses? Who makes the routes?
Our school has a bus person in charge of the routes and the buses. So even though they hire a bus company, our school has say in what goes on.

MommyToAshley replied: Maybe it'd be easier to just pick him up from school? Ashley's school is five minutes away, it'd be quicker and easier than waiting up to 30 minutes at a bus stop.

boyohboyohboy replied:
we dont have the ability to do that right now...