my self esteem is in the pooper right now - bring some cheese, I've got the whine

kit_kats_mom wrote: I'm just totally bummed. I've been a WAHM for almost 6 years now and it looks as my position may be eliminated in the next few months...seperate vent.

Anyway, DH and I started talking about our options today and I'm just feeling lousy. I actually got snippy with him because I just feel so horrid about it.

Do I get a well paying job to help us get out of debt and risk our family life?

Do I take an easier/part time/evening job for less pay causing us to "get by" but allowing us to keep the girls home for at least two more years until Lauren starts Kindergarten?

If I can't find a decent job that will cover what I make now and daycare/afterschool costs, should DH work 10-15 hours per week overtime to make up for my job loss? That hardly seems fair.

Will I even find a job?

What the heck am I good at and what do I want to do? (the answer to this is nothing. I want to stay home...but I know that makes me sound like a spoiled child so I'd never say it out loud...but if I did, I'd pout and stomp my feet too)

Will my depression flare up and cause me to lose any job I get?

Wahhh!! Man, I love being home with them and being able to do stuff with the girls and being home allows me to do other things that keep DH happy too.

This stinks and is depressing.

Jamison'smama replied: Oh man, I am sorry about your job.

You don't sound like a spoiled child at all, you are great at your job of SAHM so it would be like you'd be losing that job too if you went back to working outside of the home full time. Either way it is a tough decision.

The right answer will show itself.

mckayleesmom replied: Can you maybe do somekind of daycare yourself? This will allow you to stay home and give Lauren some company.

A&A'smommy replied: I'm sorry Cary that really sucks!!!

Boys r us replied: I'm sorry Cary! I sometimes think about what I will do when Allie starts school and I can't even imagine myself going to work outside the home again..and you've been doing it longer than I have...so I can understand the way you're feeling. I hope that the perfect opportunity finds it's way to you!!!

5littleladies replied: I'm sorry Cary. You don't sound spoiled-I've been home since Madeline was born and I just can't imagine going out to work. There is just no place I'd rather be than at home! I don't really have any advice, but I do want to say that my dh has been working an extra job in order for me to stay home. It really sucks for him (although it is a job he really doesn't mind doing) but he is more than willing to do it because he wants me to be home with our children. Maybe your husband would feel the same way?

I hope the perfect solution presents itself!

luvmykids replied: Oh man, what a blow, I'm so sorry

I understand a lot of what you're feeling, I've felt the exact same way for the last two years I just flat don't want to go back to work because I love what my kids have with me home....I hope you're able to come to a decision that works for everyone

jcc64 replied: You know you're good at LOTS of stuff, Cary, you're just in a temporary moment of self-doubt. Btdt- happens to all of us when we lose our nice, dare-I-say plush work-at-home jobs.
The one option you mentioned that I would veto outright would be Woody taking on another job. I just don't think that's fair to him- he needs an opportunity to be with the girls as well.
I think by the way that you expressed your post that you are pretty certain about not wanting to be out of the home on a full time basis. So that leaves your basic part-time, cut-in-pay, just bring a little extra cash in until the girls are in school full-time option. Of course that's easier said than done, but you're very resourceful, Cary, you'll figure something out.
I was in a panic when I lost my job last year. We took a substantial blow to our family income. But somehow, someway, we cut back here and there (mainly by food shopping less, as well as very conscientious credit card spending) and we're making it. I'm actually around alot less than I was, b/c school is very time consuming, but we've all adjusted and frankly, I've never been happier. Losing my job was depressing, and I do miss the income, but I haven't felt this alive in a long time. I think I was on intellectual auto-pilot for so long and didn't even realize it. It's fun to learn something new, even if it is a little intimidating sometimes. Try to turn a negative into a positive! KUP!

Teesa®© replied: Would it be possible for you to find something part-time when DH is home from work? Then you'd be getting some hours and still not have to fork out for day-care.

What about typing things for people? Lawyer, doctor, insurance company, etc.

kit_kats_mom replied:
That's what I'm leaning towards right now. The only problem is that our marriage may suffer. Not that it's a real problem, we are a team and will get through anything, but I'd hate to make that sacrifice if I can avoid it.

I've sent off a couple of resumes and DH is talking to his work (they sound interested but still, I'd need daycare).

I'll keep you posted.

Sam & Abby's Mom replied: I'm sorry. This totally sucks,,, but like Jeanne said -- you are smart and resourceful ! I'm sure you'll make it work somehow. I know its scary, but somehow we make it through these things. Keep us posted, Cary!

Kirstenmomof3 replied: I'm really sorry to hear about your job! That really sucks! Is there a way you could find another job that would allow you to work from home?

My2Beauties replied: I'm so bummed for you Cary I don't know what else to say that others haven't except I wanted to give you a !! Something will come your way. My fingers are crossed for you hon!