meetings for Jacob yesterday.....

kimberley wrote: first i want to say, i really don't know why i extend the courtesy of inviting the ex to these kind of meetings because he is a complete idiot and has no clue what the heck he is talking about

that said, we had a productive day at the school yesterday. first we met with the school board psychologist, social worker, principal and class teacher. i learned that the psycho doctor who did Jacob's initial analysis is muchly disliked in her methods and diagnoses. we agreed to end her involvement in this. YAY!
the school psych. said that she is going to do more testing because Jacob DOES have a learning disability. on the one lousy test the nutbar did, the numbers don't lie. Jacob scored in the 99th percentile for his verbal skills. so he is the brilliant child we all though t. unfortunately, he scored under the 10th percentile for writing/reading. this massive imbalance is why he gets so frustrated because he has all these great ideas and answers, his brain just has trouble translating them onto paper. the testing is supposed to start very soon and we will probably have a meeting within a month to discuss where we go from there.

then we met with the social worker separately to discuss stress reduction. i just can't watch this child cry from the stress of all the work he has to do. first thing she told me was for me to destress she said because Jacob is so in tune to people's emotions, he is feeding off of my stress and that is not helpful. i really try to stay calm about this, but i get so passionate about fighting for his education and self esteem. she said that i should do homework in 15 min intervals, stopping after 30 min she also suggested that we have his IEP modified even further to reduce homework so we can build up his confidence again.

so then we met with the special ed teacher and the principal to have his IEP modified. we tried to get him exempted from french but the superintendent of the school will not allow it. fine. but the teacher has to help him and give less work. also, they are no longer allowed to assign work that has not already been taught in class. homework (as it always should be) will only be review from the day to a max of 30 min/day.

i cannot tell you how happy i am about this. i really feel like all of these people are finally working with me on helping my son. he was pleasantly surprised with the limited amount of homework last night too as for the curriculum, the principal told me she is getting calls from parents of every grade level almost on a daily basis... complaining how difficult the work is. unfortanately it is the ministry of education who sets the curriculum, so we need to fight the gov't. i am thinking of searching for/ starting a group within the school to write letters/demonstrate and try to fight this.

thanks for reading my novel

DansMom replied: Kimberley, that sounds like a very productive meeting! Way to advocate! He might just need some help with dislexia, or be allowed to type rather than write. Sometimes the right support is all it takes.

favre4fan replied: It sounds like things went good, its nice to have people working with you instead of against u . You are a terrific mom in staying active in your sons education.

Kaitlin'smom replied: wow what a productive meeting...sorry the x is such an idiot on this.....I am so happy to hear they are on your side and wanting/willing to help. you go mom

TANNER'S MOM replied: Good JOb! There is no greater fight then when we fight for our children! We can really become very strong! And that is great. I totally understand. My son who is 10 has struggled thru school and doesn't do well. He has a hard time reading and math. He was a preemie and it was very difficult preg. And that has even been a factor. But you really have to make the school work for you. Or they won't ! No one wants to take the time to deal with something that is difficult, but if they know they won't get past you then they will.

It always helps for a teacher to know that you care about your sons education. I had a teacher tell me once that you would be surprised at how many parents don't care and don't take an active rule, and if a child is being difficult and having a hard time and the parent doesn't care, then why should she? I have a lot of respect for teacher and they get burnt out too. The first thing I do is make sure they know that I care and that I want to know every little event !

Great job Mom!

MomofJandB replied: Awesome job taking a stand in your child's education! I'm sure your son will be more proud of his work and more productive, also! Would it be possible for him to recite work into a tape recorder, such as book reports, rather that write them? I understand he needs to continue practicing his writing skills, but it shouldn't affect every class. Maybe half of the assignments could be written and half be recited. Just a thought. He sounds like a brilliant motivated child whose education needs some tweaking. Great job in getting involved!

maestra replied: on the French thing. Like the kid needs another language on top of all of this!

His testing kind of reminds me of a situation I ran into recently. A child I have was tested with a cognitive test in head start (preschool) to test for disabilities. On one subtest, he measured average (which our psychologist says can be accomplished at 4 yrs old by answering one question right), and on another he measured in the 5th percentile. This means that 95% of children would have scored higher than he did. According to them, this meant that he is not considered "at risk" and does not qualify for special education services. That doesn't even make any sense! We are retesting him now, trying to get him the help he needs.

I'm glad to see that things seem to be working out! And fight the government! They don't listen to teachers! But they will listen to you!

MommyToAshley replied: Kimberley... Wow... you are a Mom to look up to! I know it can't be easy fighting to gov't, the education board, and anyone else that wants to stand in the way of your sons education, but you have done it. I am glad that everyone has agreed to a plan that will allow Jacob to learn, build his self-confidence, and grow. WTG Mom!

coasterqueen replied: Wow, it does sound like very productive meetings yesterday! I'm so glad. I know how much this has been bothering you. Good luck with fighting the government on the curriculum.

jcc64 replied: I am well aware how difficult and exceedingly frustrating it can be to fight the system in public schools. Congratulations on the progress you've made. Your child is very lucky to have a mom like you.

kit_kats_mom replied: Good for you mom! You are awesome! I'm so happy that things seem to be proceeding a bit for you guys.

One thing on the "stress". There was a segment on Dr. Phils Family special that had 4 kids and showed how to raise thier IQ by 10 points minimum. One of the kids got all stressed out about homework and a specialist gave him some exercises to do before testing. Simple things like deep breathing and getting some exercise & a snack before sitting down to a task really helped him.

kimberley replied: thanks for the kind words and tips . i will definitely try them out. i really have to start watching Dr. Phil lol. everyone keeps giving me advice from his shows.

A&A'smommy replied: WOW that is awesome!!! I'm glad they are helping you and Jacob!!