list the number one thing you've learned - from being on this forum

cameragirl21 wrote: ok, so I'm in the process of writing a book so please bear with me because it's making me feel philosophical as I recount the little snippets of wisdom I've learned from various sources over the years, going back to when I was a toddler (my earliest memories) to today.
I was thinking about an interesting experience I had sometime back--In my college chemistry lab, there was a girl who told me half her family was Mormon but she wasn't. She told me that her Mormon niece, age 4, asked her if Jews still have horns on their heads, basically telling me that Mormons are not Jewish friendly, if you kwim. So sometime thereafter, I met my friend Alison, who was raised Mormon but then converted to Paganism, married a Pagan and now has a Pagan son. We were talking about it and I said, "so Mormons hate Jews, right?" And she was like "no" so I told her the story about my chem lab. Shortly after that, I was about to move from one house to the next and I was telling Alison that I'm looking to hire movers and she suggested that she had some friends who were Mormon missionaries that would do it free. So of course, you can't beat free so she arranged the whole thing. So these were young guys, maybe ranging in age from late teens to very early 20s and then there was their leader, who appeared older but still under 30. They came over on a Saturday, spent the whole day loading, carrying and unloading and refused my offer of a donation to their church or any payment, they just wanted me to buy them pizza and soda for lunch, which was a very good deal for me imo. Anyway, they worked really hard, spending their entire day and I admit, I'm a bit high maintenance when it comes to people moving my things. So after they finished and left, I turned to Alison and asked her why they did that, I said, "I don't understand, you told them I'm Jewish and that I'm not converting...they didn't even try to convert me and you're not a Mormon anymore either so it's not as if they owe you any favors. They wouldn't take any money from me, not even for their church...why did they do all this for me?" And she, not missing a beat, said, "well, did it change your opinion about Mormons?" And I swear, it was like one of those light bulb coming on moments...I was like, "YEAH" and to this day I always defend Mormons if anyone has anything bad to say about them. I assume Alison didn't tell them about my chem lab story but for whatever the reason, they took it upon themselves to help me out for no reason and no reward, other than pizza and coke.
I was just thinking about that and it led me to think about all I learned on this board...there is a lot but I'm wondering--what is the one, biggest thing you've learned here?
I have so many but I will narrow it down to my one biggest--as you all know by now, I'm pretty far to the left when it comes to domestic, social issues. I always hated guns and hunting and thought I hated anyone who did any of those things. My dad even owns a gun and it's just always been a subject we don't speak of because we don't agree. (btw, my dad doesn't hunt, it's not a rifle, it's just for protection) Anyway, I learned from some people here, and I think you know who you are, that sometimes you CAN be friends with someone who does things that may not fit on your moral compass...in other words, I really learned to distinguish between not liking someone vs not liking what someone does and still liking/respecting that person for who they are, even if you don't necessarily approve of all the things s/he does. I also learned that just because someone has very different religious and/or political beliefs doesn't mean we can't have a civil and interesting exchange that we can learn from even if we won't see it all eye to eye. I found ultimately that I learn more from those I don't necessarily agree with than those whom I may consider to be kindred spirits.
Just curious--what is the biggest thing you learned here?

Calimama replied: I don't have to give Miabella perfection, I just have to give her my best.

MommyToAshley replied: To be more tolerent of others... there's always another side of the story, another opinion, a different perspective based on different life experiences. I may question things or voice my own opinion, but I learn more by listening (or in this case, reading).

PrairieMom replied: that you won't learn anything unless you ask about it. And Others are happy to share their POV with you.

Kentuckychick replied: I've learned that everyone has an opinion... that everyone is entitled to an opinion... and that I can learn things I never knew by actually LISTENING to other people's opinions rather than thinking that mine is the only one that's ever right

I've also learned that there are so many wonderful people on this site willing to share my godkids with me (even though I'm not a 'parent' yet) and you've made me want to experience motherhood more than ever... and I hope my chance finally comes around here soon so that I can share it all with you.

lisar replied: Where do I begin?

I have learned alot of things over the years on here. I have learned that reading someone's opionons on things can often help me learn new things, that I am not always right. That no one is a perfect mother we just try our best and do our best.
I agree with Tara that if you want to know something about something just ask 99% of the time someone on here knows something about it.
I get great advice on here when I need it.


P.S. There are lots more things I could type.

boyohboyohboy replied: I have learned that I am not alone!
and its ok to make some "mistakes" because we all try new things on our kids and all kids are different.

also the most important one to me....that I can have a truely best friend and never see them in person!

lisar replied:
that is so sweet. I do consider all of the regulars on here my real friends.

mckayleesmom replied: I learned to not have a pre concieved notion of who my child should be and to accept and work with who they are and who they want to be.

My3LilMonkeys replied: I've learned that no matter how bad the problem or how weird the question is, someone else has been there and can suggest an answer.

moped replied: That my children are normal and I am not alone in this parenting journey!

luvmykids replied:
Yes!

redchief replied: Perhaps this isn't the biggest thing I've learned, but it has been my greatest realization. I've realized what a wonderful place this would have been had it been available to us while we were so young and our children were just beginning their lives. You can put forth questions and ideas here without fear of being judged where you are; that is, in the community. Let's face it, we've all had issues with our kids that we wouldn't be nearly so ready to discuss with people face to face. I also believe, and this is closely linked to the previous, that the opinions we get here are more honest and uninhibited than they might be in face on conversations.

kimberley replied: that i wasn't alone without adult contact when i was a SAHM. the people here really were/are my friends.

that everyone has rough times when a new baby comes. there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. you just gotta keep trying.

no matter how often someone repeats their opinion, it will rarely change my beliefs but i would have listened better if it was only said once.

there are sick people who steal pics of kids and lie.

there is no such thing as the "right" way to parent. everyone must do what is best for their families and lifestyles.

we all love our kids or we wouldn't be here.

holley79 replied: Parenting related things.

lisar replied:
that is so true

lovemy2 replied: That there are some real nuts out there

And that I have to learn to be more tolerant of them

And that I am a good Mother and a good Wife too.......

A&A'smommy replied: I think my situation is a little different than a lot of others on here, when I joined I was 17, pregnant and scared of child birth!! I basically came here and learned how to be a mother, I knew how to take care of kids I have babysat since I was 8 (I wasn't alone) and I have been around babies and other children my whole life so I was no stranger to the basics but I learned that’s its ok to make mistakes (as long as you learn from them) that kids are resilient and totally different parenting styles that basically don't exists in my little town.

jcc64 replied: I remember when I first met you, Jessy Ann, and I remember worrying for you- being such a young mom. However, your maturity and growth astounded me- I often forgot I was "talking" with someone who was just a few years older than my own son. I know a lot of 40 yr olds that don't have the wisdom or parental instincts that you have. Bravo!

My2Beauties replied: OK guys I'm getting sappy now


I've learned to tolerate others opinions more and actually listen to what they have to say instead of completely dismissing it...you choose to befriend people like you IRL for the most part and people with like ideas,to hear the opposite side of the spectrum is enlightening, it may not ever change my mind.... but it's nice to hear both sides of the fence.

That even the craziest question about parenting is always received with open arms and lots of and lots of BTDT's because I always think am I the only one whose kid does this sort of thing??

Kaitlin'smom replied: if you do something nice it will come back to you