how long is too long - when it comes to breastfeeding

mom2tripp wrote: I'm not posting this to start an argument bc I know it's a very heated topic I just wanted some other opinions on the matter. I am in favor of breastfeeding and love it and plan to continue doing it until my son is around 1 however, I was reading an article in my Parents Magazine and there was a mother who was still breastfeeding her 5 1/2 year old daughter. Is this too long?? Just thought I would see what everyone thought

lisar replied: Well my opionion is do it after 1year. I know someone who done it till thier child was 3 and the only reason she stopped is cause she was fixing to have another kid. She brest fed her first one while she was pregnant with her second. That I didnt think was right. I guess it would be up to the parent though. I wouldnt tell anyone how to raise thier children but at 5 I think I would say something. Thats way to old. But that is my opionion.

Lisa

A&A'smommy replied: I didn't get to breastfeed my baby but if I would have I would have breastfed her until she was ready to stop on her own. IMHO I personally could not breastfeed a child that age at least I don't think I could. Its really no ones business to say you shouldn't breastfeed a five year old I mean she is the childs mother AND she knows what is best for her child. JMO I'm sure people will disagree with me

CCTandME replied: I BF my 1st until about 14mo, 2nd until 16mo and my 3rd was just a few days over 1yr.
I would never say anything to anybody, but 5 is a bit old IMO. I had a friend who BF her oldest until she was (can't remember exactly now) 4-4.5ish. It grossed me out, but I would NEVER say anything to her. Not sure why it bothered me.

5littleladies replied: I personally wouldn't breastfeed past a year. None of my girls have gone past a year though-they all self-weaned at that point. I think 5 is way too old but I would never say anything about it.

Kaitlin'smom replied: I nured Kait unitl she was about 15 months old when she self weaned, i would have gone a bit longer but for me not past the age of 2, some go longer and thats there choise, but yes I agree 5 is a bit old IMO did she say how long she planed on going?

coasterqueen replied: Well I can't say what I'd do until I did it . I know I never even imagined breastfeeding and then I tried it and couldn't imagine life w/o it. Then I never imagined nursing til 1 or 2 and well once you get to 1 or 2 it's like you can see yourself doing it. Hard to explain. I don't feel like I can judge that woman or even tell you if I'd do it until I actually did it, ya know. Because like I said I never imagined nursing a one year old or a 2 year old until I did it.

jcc64 replied: I think it's purely a personal decision. Breastfeeding an older child certainly looks odd to us here in the States, b/c it is very rarely done. Elsewhere in the world it is quite common.

JAYMESMOM replied: I plan to breastfeed Jayme until she is two unless she decides to wean sooner. I do think 5 years old is old here in the states but when you go to some other countries it is completely normal. It would all depend on the situation on why and how often they breastfeed. I think once they can go to school that is old enough IMO but if they were developmentally delayed or handicapped that would be a different story.

IMO - some women breastfeed for their ownselves not for the children's benefit.

DansMom replied: I agree with Jeanne. Daniel's still nursing a little bit, just first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I don't feel like we need to stop just yet, but it feels like it will happen on its own within the year. For my own reasons I want to be all done by the time he's 3, but I don't judge others for going longer than that.

Maddie&EthansMom replied:
Same here! This is exactly what I was gonna say! You took the words right out of my mouth. Even though I didn't nurse til either of mine were 2...I get what you are saying.

amynicole21 replied: I agree with Karen... I never thought I'd be willing to breastfeed a two year old, but I gladly did with Sophia. I'll go that long or longer with Nora if it seems right. You never know

MomToMany replied: I'm nursing my 3 year old AND my 1 year old. I didn't nurse my boys very long, due to lots of misinformation and no suport. I have nursed Hannah through 1 pregnancy every single day. It is VERY important to her, and if you think I'm nuts, that's fine. Come spend a day in my life to see what I mean. I'm not planning on weaning her anytime soon, despite some doubts and thoughts I had earlier. She will nurse as long as she wants, as will Kayla. I don't think 5 1/2 is that old. I know a lady IRL who nursed her daughter til she was over 6.

It is all perfectly normal. You guys don't/won't know what it's like until you actually do it.

mom2tripp replied:
I hope no one is taking offense to my post I just wanted to get some perspective and see what everyone thought about it out there--TO EACH HER OWN

aspenblue1 replied: I nursed until around 12 months with Isabella she weaned herself. I am not sure how long I will nurse this Kirsten probably until she is ready to wean.

~KARA~ replied: I havent chosen this as an option for my children but I think 5yrs old is way to old!
I know there are more than a few ladies here that have b/f their children past a year, but in my oppinion I think past a year old is to long. I know they say b/f is good for a child, and thats great for those who choose it.
Same goes with pacifiers! I hate to see 4 or 5 yr olds walking around with one in their mouth cause their mom dosent want to hear them scream cause they took it away.

JAYMESMOM replied:
Breastfeeding is in a seperate category from pacifiers. I have found with being a working mom that the time my daughter breastfeed is her time to re-connect with me and get that time in she doesn't get while I am at work. I will admit my views towards breastfeeding have changed since I had her. I had said before conceiving 6 months was my limit. Then it changed to a year. But the year came and she wasn't ready to let go. I decided I was not going to make her. I said 2 years is my limit but that is always subject to change. That is the good thing about parenting. There are no set rules. You can decide for yourself what is appropriate for your child and you can change it if you decide later that what you decided before isn't working anymore.

I say to each his own and don't knock something before you have tried it or done it.

BTW-I do understand that some women can't breastfeed and my deepest sympathy goes out to you.

gr33n3y3z replied: No Comment

ferocity302 replied: America has a hang up on breast feeding after a certain age. Other countries it's perfectly normal to breast feed as long as you can.

I unfortunately gave up after 3 months with both my kids.

It is cost effective and a very loving gift to give to your child.

mama3x replied: For myself, anything past 18 months seems too long (my 1st only went 3 months, he wasn't into BFing at all, my 2nd weaned herself at 13 months). We'll see how long my 3rd goes.

What I think in general for all is that anything over 3 is getting to be a bit suspicious - is BFing for the child's benefit or is it because mom doesn't want to "let go"?

JMHO that's all

Jamielou replied: Well I didnt b/f with carley at all. And when i got pregnant with Laney I decided i wanted to b/f/ for at least 6mo. But i only got to for 1 week because I stopped producing milk. But I was a little worried while i was pregnant that it wouldnt feel natural (dont know why). But after i tried it i loved it and I was very disappointed that i couldnt continue. I sorda felt like a failure or something. But if it had worked out I would have just did it until she weaned herself or until i didnt feel comfortable with it anymore. 5 does seem a little old to me IMO.

jcc64 replied:

Again, in the spirit of keeping this conversation civil- but I find this sort of attitude kind of irksome. Had I not severed our bf relationship a little after her second birthday, I'm quite certain Corey would still be happily bf. For me, I grew tired of the nightwaking and simply wanted to reclaim my body after a long successful run. For Corey, she was still very attached to her "num-nums." Before I had her, I was one of those people who didn't quite "get" why women bf long after the introduction of solids and walking. I had bf 2 other children to the more socially acceptable age of 1 yr. Well, when that milestone came and went with Corey, it became clear to me that the bf relationship is about much more than nutrition to a toddler. It's about warmth, comfort, nutrition and antibodies, and an intimate connection particularly valuable to working moms and their kids after a long day away.
As I said previously, it's a personal decision, and it's certainly not for everyone, but I wish we women could be a little more supportive and less judgmental toward one another.

My2Beauties replied: I'm not saying anything, I only bf for 6 weeks, I couldn't pump well and when I went back to work it would have been impossible for me to be engorged all day long! I'm just not going to say how I feel about a 5 year old nursing!

moped replied: That is a touchy subject, I bf Jack for 6 months and stopped, I sort of regret that now, but I could NOT keep up with him and I never knew how much he was getting and there was never a schedule, if ya know what I mean.

I know lots of women on here and personal freinds that bf a long long time, whatever works for everyone is great.

Maddie&EthansMom replied:

Jamison'smama replied:
Well said. We went to 22 months and only weaned because I was pregnant and apparently not producing enough and Jamison self weaned at that point. It was COMPLETELY for her--I had to roll my eyes at times and remind myself it was for her --it certainly wasn't because I needed the closeness--just having her in bed next to me would have been enough but I was happy to provide what she apparently needed at the time. When she no longer needed to nurse, she stopped. I can't say what I would have done had she not stopped--I assume I would have ended it at some point but glad I didn't have to make that decision. I would imagine that for most women--we keep the extended nursing up because it is for the child--I really doubt most of us want to be woken up during the night well past the second year--but that's just my guess.

What's a little controversy among friends

paradisemommy replied: a very touchy subject - and one that i have been reading but not posting as there are many posts on here that i think are highly offensive.

my son will be 3 july 27th - we are still bf and going strong - it's not because i'm afraid to "let go" as someone said - it's something that he seems to need and finds great comfort in. it's not something i flaunt and i doubt anyone around me (except my real close personal friends) knows that i am still bf him. we are down to at most 2 times a day - when he goes down for his nap (if he doesn't fall asleep on his own) and right before bed. i had hoped that he would self wean but i'm not going to cut him off especially with our second coming in july because i don't want him to resent his new baby sister.

i think whoever wrote that bf beyond a year is not beneficial to the child is highly misinformed and should check her facts before she makes statements like that. my son has one of the best immune systems that i have ever seen - he can start catching a cold and within a day or two it will be gone and i hardly give him any medicine at all.

i'm not sure if i'll go to 5 or 6 and i'm surely hoping that he will wean by then but by him self-weaning, i think i am creating an extremely independent and confident toddler. how would you like someone else to take away something from you that gave you great comfort and confidence? something that you held close to your heart that gave you the strength and support you needed? i never thought i would go this long and gave myself 6 months, then a year, then 2 years and now we are going on 3.

it's certain attitudes like the ones displayed here that make extended bf hard on people who choose to do it - having people looking down their noses at you and judging you for giving this wonderful gift to your child.

all i can say is it's a sad sad world we live in now-a-days with attitudes like this.

mama3x replied: I just wanted to post that I think the attitude about "mom doesn't want to let go" in my previous post - and I should've made it more clear really - comes not from anything creative I came up with but from knowing a few mommies who did just that. Their little ones were going to daycare and wanted to drink regular milk, water, or other from cups and these mommies could not let go.

I also read in some parenting mags about mommies who couldn't let go, you know, when they write in to the editor? Even when their kids wanted to wean.

I also wanted to agree with those who said "you don't really know what you're going to do until you do it". That is so true! Never thought I'd go over 1 yr with Kyrie much less be at 18 weeks now with Dallas.

MomToMany replied:


Thanks for writing that Tammy!

DansMom replied:
Same with Daniel---when he catches a virus, it's typically gone within a day or two. The ear infection he has now was the first time I've ever given him an antibiotic (and I think this is because my milk supply is disappearing). He's only had Tylenol 6 times since he was born.

JAYMESMOM replied:
Those are all benefits for some but unfortunately not for my daughter. She ended up with tubes in her ears due to numerous ear infections and for the first time since she was born has not had a cold, etc.

I have correctly learned to dose motrin, tylenol, and decongestant while being half a sleep.

I am still BF and will continue to do so till she is 2. After that I don't know we will find that out along the way.

coasterqueen replied: Regarding the ast few statements... we all have to remember that those who do not WOH and have their children in daycare...their children who are BF are less likely to have children that get sick. Also genetics play a role so not all who are BF are going to be 100% healthy . BF DOES help though in soooo many ways that their benefits far outweigh any possible negatives.

stanleygirl replied: I just wanted to throw my 2 cents in here bc it seems as though we as women need to support each other in motherhood, rather than critisize. I am looking at this from the flip side of the coin bc I could not bf my first and CHOSE not to bf my 2nd. I have gotten the rude comments like: I am selfish and uneducated. I will not go into why I made my choices but let me say that I did educate myself first.
I love my children as much as the woman who bf's until 5 or 6. I may feel that bfing until 6 is too long, and she may feel that breast is best. BUt we all love our children and want the best for them. I am no better or worse as mother based on bfing, or duration. I think it's strange how judgemental ppl are when it comes to this topic.
I think we should all do what feels right in our heart, and support each other from one mom to another. Whether I make the same choices as you or not, makes no difference to me.
JMHO

ferocity302 replied:
I think it's strange how judgemental ppl are when it comes to this topic.

Not just this topic........seems any topic that is passionate to anyone from any angle.

I think we should all do what feels right in our heart, and support each other from one mom to another. Whether I make the same choices as you or not, makes no difference to me.

Exactly as been state when I have voiced MY oppinion on other subjects..............we are not there to find out all the details to make a JUDGEMENT we can only go by what is written here and make a STATEMENT.

Please remember that when a person posts on a board of any kind..... their post is open to any and all angles of comments, suggestions and oppinions. This is the reason a lot post................. to get ALL VIEWS to make an informed decision for THEMSELVES.

Some topics are hotter than others and if we all just remember that we are here for support not ridicule or arguments, then we all would make each other feel more comfortable posting for help and be more willing to post a reply if we feel we are not going to be attacked for what we have to say.

supermom replied: Boy, oh boy oh boy!

Well, just my

My three older ones basically self weaned at around a year. I think part of this was ignorance on my part for not knowing we could continue a wonderful nursing relationship well past that time. I think part of it was also because my then husband was not very supportive (to put it bluntly, he was a prude!).

My husband now is from Sweden originally, where the culture is totally different in regards to nursing moms. He is extremely supportive, and has been my pillar.

This last time around, I nursed my son until he was 3 1/2 and was only nursing at nap time. As they came to work with us (we own our own business and are lucky in this regard) he would nurse to take his afternoon nap well into my last pregnancy and beyond. We even tandem nursed for a while, but it was difficult to hold two in an office chair! He gave it up on his own a couple of months after Emily was born.

Now, Emily is 21 mos and I don't see her giving it up any time in the near future. When I am around she wants booby constantly. However, she is old enough to know who provides that in her world, and when she is off with her older sisters or brother or her dad, juice and milk make a fine substitute. I will let her decide when she is ready to quit, be it 2 or be it 20 (well, maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration!)

Any of you who know me know how adamant I am about this, and I do find the sniping and putdowns quite disturbing. I would never put you down for chosing to give your child formula, and the tone of some of the messages about being over one (or two, or three) and nursing is disturbing. I know I've not been around much, but this really bothered me reading this kind of tone here when it was once so very friendly.

To each his own, and I support you each and every one, no matter what your choice!

stanleygirl replied: That was very well put, I really hear where you are coming from, and may I just say congrats to you for having such a supportive hubby who encourages you with your great bfing experience.

And I too find the tone here becoming very unfriendly, I am still rather new here, and I seem to use different methods than the majority here. I really hope that we can all find a way to show a little more support to one another. That is why we are here right?? I know for myself, I personally disagree with many things I hear on here, but I try not to jump to conclusions, and we all need a friendly place to come to for support, no matter how we feel on any one issue.

JMHO

MomToMany replied: SUPERMOM!!! BEVERLY!!! O-M-G!!

Thank you for your input!!! We sure miss you around here!!!!! Gosh, you've given me such wonderful advice!!!

Maddy'sMom replied: Just saw this and thought I would revisit it....just a comment, not to share my own opinion or add to a debate! Just to offer a different perspective.

My husband and I were lucky enough to travel in the first year we were married, before we started trying to get pregnant. In our travels, we saw a lot of breastfeeding. And in other countries, there is no covering up in public or making an issue out of it, because in other areas, formula is the ODD choice, and breastfeeding is the NORM. When on the train going from place to place, all the women would nurse their babies, and they varied in age. They were toddlers, at least over 2 years old- when at a restaurant, we were a bit shocked to see a woman with a child of at LEAST 6 standing up beside her chair, eating at her breast. Then we realized no one was staring, it was not unusual, it was the norm for THAT AREA. That's all it really comes down to. IF women here were nursing 5 year olds, it would be the NORM, and maybe it wouldn't seem so odd.

Breastfeeding was made for a reason, and in many other areas of the world, it is the only means of nutrition, so beyond one or two years, a child still needs mothers milk. Many areas of the world deal with hunger, etc...and breastmilk ensures that a child can thrive.

Just some different insight on things we have seen!

Taiyou no Koe replied:
It looks odd, especially in America, because breasts are so sexualized.

Taiyou no Koe replied:
It really bothers me when people actually believe a mother would force her child to continue BFing after the child no longer wants to.

Taiyou no Koe replied:
o_O Nobody stops producing milk at one week... that's impossible. Not only does your milk not "come in" until 3-4 days PP, but for the first 3-4 months your supply is largely hormone (stimulation) driven... afterwards, it's largely supply and demand.

TeagansMom609 replied: I stopped nursing Teagan at 13-14 mos. Im not going to judge anyone, but I do keep hearing alot of people saying they do it for the bonding. There arent other ways to bond with your child?

I used to work in a chiropractors office when I was 18, and once a month they had La Leche League meetings there. I remember these women coming in with 5 yr. olds literally CLINGING to their mothers acting like 2 yr. olds. They were still nursing them and treating them like babies. Even at 18 I thought that was weird. I wondered if those children acted that way because they were still being nursed. I wondered if they would act differently and be less clingy if they werent being nursed.

I understand breastfeeding and its benefits, and I support it. I nursed Teagan and plan on nursing the next. But I think there is a point where it becomes too old. Now im just trying to understand, but if 5 isnt too old and people get offended by those who think it is, do you think 10 is ok too? I mean everyone thinks there is a limit. So why not nurse until their 10? Or 13? I mean I think a big percentage of mothers who nurse until their kids are past a certain age, it is a bigger problem for them to stop nursing rather then the childs.

If 5 isnt too old then what is? For those of you who think that isnt too old, what would you think of someone nursing a 7 yr old child?

I hope I didnt offend anyone, this is a heated topic. I feel strongly about it, as im sure everyone else does who posted. Some people just feel one way, some feel another. I dont think it makes anyone wrong or right for that matter.

stanleygirl replied:

This bothers me a lot. She is telling you her situation, and I find your comment very offensive. Are you a dr? Can you really say IMPOSSIBLE?
There is a lot of judgement around this issue and I find it really unfair. It was not that long ago that my mother was judged for wanting to bf, in that time formula was considered best, and the choice was pushed on her. Now we have swung the other way. Instead of supporting each other (regardless of our choice) we are so quick to judge ppl who were not successful in bfing.
Now I am very passionate on this issue, and if you will bear with me for a moment I will tell you why.
When I gave birth to ds1, I never even considered that I might have trouble bfing. I had taken a prenatal class and the instructor told us that EVERYONE can and should bf, she even said a crack addicted mother should bf bc of the health benefits. (I dont think so personally)
So, when (after a lond stressful labor) baby would not latch I was so upset. The nurses were so not helpful. I was in the hospital for a week bc baby had not latched and was losing weight, my nipples were bleeding and yet they made me pump (using an ancient monster of a pump), and it just got worse and worse. Every attempt ended in me and ds crying, and I could hear his little tummy grumbling. Finally in the middle of the night, I broke down and asked for a bottle. They told me NO. I couldnt believe it, they came down and lectured me about how ALL women can bf and if I was going to be any kind of a mother I would tough it out and if I gave a bottle I was FAILING, yes they said that. I called dh hysterical (tey would not let him stay with me overnight) and when he came the next morning, he tracked down the lactation consultant (who this entire time had been too busy to help me with bfing!) and she brought us the bottle and instead of all the bfing lectures she told me not to feel like a failure, bc not everyone finds bfing easy and not all babies latch as easily as others. She also told me formula these days is a great 2nd choice to bfing. She said I was great mother for trying so long and that I would not be doing any harm to my baby by giving him a bottle. Within 1 day, we were able to take Kieran home! And the lactation consultants words really stuck with me.
Now, when I got home I heard all kinds of judgements from other women bc of my 'bottle fed' baby, and I started to realize that there are many women close to me that were tormented by their choices regarding this situation. In fact my SIL went through a major depression bc she was not successful at bfing. I dont think the ppl around her realized how much their judgemental comments hurt her.
When I had ds2 I chose to bottle feed for many reasons, and I took some flak for it, but I have developed a bit of a thick skin, and now try to show ppl close to me that although breast is best, there are other choices out there, and we need to support each other in whatever decision we make.
Sorry its a bit off the topic of how long to bf.......

ZandersMama replied: I have memories of when I was about 3-4, very vauge but I remember some things, and I think it would be a bit weird if I remembered nursing on my mothers breast. If my son doesnt stop himself when he is 2, i'll prob wean him.

mom2tripp replied: I'm kinda sorry I even started this topic now I just wanted everyone's thoughts without it getting too heated.

Can't we all realize that no matter how we feed our children, it's what we think is best and what works best for us.

It is not impossible for a woman to not produce milk, that comment was just ridiculous, I'm sure it is possible and has happened before.

Supporting each other and giving insight is why we come here, it's obvious that we all love our children---we just do different things.

A&A'smommy replied:
Don't feel bad I think its a very interesting topic I wish I could have breastfed mine but some unfortuant things happened (like stupid nurses ) and I didn't get too also I wasn't educated on the topic and I had no clue what to do... anyway I think its a great topic please don't feel bad!!

stanleygirl replied:
I agree with alyssa'smommy too, it is an interesting topic, and I know that I go away from these discussions with more knowledge and an (more) open mind.
After a previous discussion on bfing, and seeing different perspectives, I realized that it is silly to only see a breast as a sexualized part of a womans body, and made a point to tell a friend of mine who is bfing to not feel ashamed or like she needed to hide from me. I think it meant a lot to her, and I know it did to me.

jcc64 replied: I think these kinds of conversations are essential to all of us.
We can all learn something from "the other side" if we can drop our defenses long enough to truly listen.
Debates and controversies are great, imo, as long as they're held in a respectful way. And I think we accomplish that regularly around here.

MissyKay2005 replied: I was wondering the same question how long myself. Got alot of good insite from this. I couldn't with my first son but going to try again with this baby. I was pertty young with Brandon so things maybe different now. I personaly feel that a year should be enough. But we will see how it goes. Every child is different in needing emotional attachments I guess.

moped replied:
Good one!

holley79 replied: Well as everyone here knows, I am still very new to this whole mommy thing. I read the same article while waiting in the Drs Office. It was my first visit and my mom was with me because my dh was on deployment. I remember having a discussion with my mom on this subject. We are a military family and I remember being young watching women breastfeed in public. It was very common to watch women breastfeeding older children. I would estimate around 4 to 5 years old. As I got older and was back in the states it was not common at all to see a woman breastfeed. (I was at dinner at the Hopkins house here in Pensacola and a woman started bfing her child at the dinner table that we were all sitting at. No one said a word, the main thing that bothered me was that she didn't cover herself and we were all eating.) Never gave it another thought till the article. I, for one, plan on bf. IMHO, there is an age limit on bfing. I will be pumping when I go back to work so my dh can feed.

We all have opinions and it has been great reading each and every one of them. On the comment about losing breast milk after a week, it is possible. A friend of mine got her milk in and it went away. No rhyme or reason.

Well I'm going to get back to reading. I have been reading and working. Quite interesting. It's funny to read about this, my dh and I have a bf class tomorrow night at the hospital.

Holley

Warbride replied: I was under the impression from some things I've read that a child NEEDS regular milk after about a year, for the extra fat and calcuim and stuff. I don't bf, son's choice not mine(but I didn't complain any until I saw formula prices and he was going through 48 oz. a day), so I don't really know that much about it. In my opinion, 5 is too old, but I'm more worried about the child being too clingy and not being able to be independant. Then again, I come from a family that has formula fed for 3 generations because bfing didn't work for some reason or another, so my opinion is tainted by that. It does worry me some when a mother will bf in public without covering herself, but not so much I'd say something to her. I just think it'd be cold!

kit_kats_mom replied:
nope. no human needs cow milk...it's made to meet the needs of calves.

luvbug00 replied: I'm not going to state my exact opinion on this for I am not an expert and my personal thoughts are just that personal. But I do want to comment on the Impossiblity to loose milk. I did too I produced a grand total of 1/2 cup of milk I never had to pump or anything it just never came. I just found that comment really hurtful.

MomToMany replied:
ITA. That's what human milk is for.

As for those who say that they've "weren't able to produce enough", there might have been hidden hindrances to why that happened. But for most, they think that they don't produce enough because baby is so hungry all the time, which is perfectly NORMAL.

luvbug00 replied: I had a le leche consultant and we tried EVERYTHING because I really wanted to do it. But it just didn't work. masssage, herbs, oils, home remidies , not so home remidies. you name it. God knows I tried and Mya actully could succkle but it just didn't work.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: I really wasn't going to put anything in here after reading all heated posts, but I am going to go ahead and bite the bullet.
I don't have any problems with extended bfing. I think it is a beautiful gift you give your child.
I also don't have any problems with choosing to formula feed. And here is why I chose to. Please no one think poorly of me for it.
The nurses in the delivery room picked up a very severe heart murmur on Logan. I had originally planned to BF and was working on the whole deal, he was a very distractible infant and it was going to be a struggle, but I was willing to work on it. We went through 36 hours after delivery BFing and I liked it. But, then we got the news that Logan had aortic valve issues that had to be dealt with at a children's hospital. And that was a MAJOR stressor. Added to the fact that my milk hadn't come in yet, Logan was not really into latching on and my DH was kind of leaning against it, I gave it up. There were and are times that I felt/feel guilty for quitting, but I made a choice. And I made the best of bottle feeding, Logan never had a bottle propped, I always held him close and often fed him skin to skin, and I let him eat on demand until I went back to work.
He is now 13 months old (today ) and a healthy, snuggly, bright, wonderful boy.
I want to say that I am in full agreement that we should all stick together and stand up for one another regardless of her choice. And if the choice it to BF for extended periods, then more power to you. If it is to FF, whatever the reason, there shouldn't be any shame in it either.

MomToMany replied:
To me, breastfeeding is THE most wonderful & selfless thing a mom can do for their child. No one else can give your child that. So THAT'S why I do it for the bonding. Extended breastfeeding helps the child become MORE independant, not clingy. I'm sure there were other reasons why the children were acting like that. Most kids act that way when around other people, so you can't say it was from them breastfeeding.

I don't think 5 1/2 is too old. I don't KNOW what I would consider too old. And if Hannah weaned tomorrow, I wouldn't have a problem with it, because it would be HER CHOICE. Yes, I would be terribly sad that our nursing relationship is over, but everyone grieves when a relationship ends no matter what kind (boyfriend/girlfriend, a marriage, a pet, etc.).

PrairieMom replied: I had a real hard time BFing my little man. It hurt real bad. I feel like I gave it a good shot, (3 months, then I pumped until He was lamost 6 months old). I used to cry when he was hungry because I would dread Bfing him. Then it occured to me, If I dread feeding my child, I should change something! The strange thing is that I went through a
post breast feeding depression, and eventhough I hated it as much as I did, It is one thing that I really miss about my little guy being an infant. I am super excited to try Bfing my next one!

Our Lil' Family replied: Just out of curiousity...for those of you that do or did bf past one year, do you also give them whole milk or is the bm their only source of milk?

kit_kats_mom replied:
You can but K, who nursed to 21 mos & weaned whwn I was pregnant, wouldn't drink milk. she got her calcium from cheese, yogurt, pudding & tums

My3LilMonkeys replied: Just wanted to add my opinion...

I did not breastfeed by choice. But I am a very analytical person and tend to reasearch important decisions carefully, so I am fairly knowledgeable on the subject. In the end DH and I carefully considered all of the pros and cons related and decided that formula was the best choice for our family.

When researching, I learned that BF is not "bad" for a child of any age. Theorectically, you could BF until your baby is 13 and it would not have any negative health related affect on them as long as they were getting all of the other proper nutrition that they needed.

As for the health benefits, they are great but do vary by individual. My mom BF all of her children. My younger sister gets sick quite a bit. My older sister and I are the type who never get sick. Other than for maternity, sick kids, dr appts and migraines (my one health problem) I have not taken a sick day from work in over 5 years.

So to conclude my long winded post, to each her own. Only you can know whether BF is the right choice for you, and only you (and your child) can know when is the right time to stop.

And I know that on these boards, you will be supported no matter what your decision is!

MomToMany replied:
I'm just curious to where you did your research?

mom2tripp replied: Geez, all these months and this topic is still hot huh


Just to add my opinion yet again. I nursed Tripp until he was 9 months old and for those of you skeptics that don't believe it he WEANED himself. I tried and tried morning and night for a good month and a half to get him to continue nursing but he was only latching on for about 2-3 minutes and I'm SORRY that is NOT ENOUGH nutrients for him!!!!! SO, we switched to formula and at first I felt VERY guilty but then I told myself, you know what Kristi you have nursed this child for nine long months and if he doesn't want it anymore he doesn't want it and now he's just as healthy as he was then.

Research or no research we do what we feel in our heart is the best thing to do not what other people think they know is the best thing

jcc64 replied:

I think this is the wrong question to be asking, really. Why does there have to be a "deadline", artificially assigned, based on all kinds of assumptions and judgments? The right question to ask, imo, is: Should the bf relationship continue past the point where it is no longer beneficial to both parties involved (mother and child)? And by beneficial, that could include emotional comfort and closeness. My answer to that question would be, logically, no. But the only people who could truly know what that point is, are again, the mother and child. If it's working for them, why do we feel justified in asserting that we know what's in their best interests better than they do? Having older kids, I am aware that all kids grow increasingly independent as they age, and the "clinginess" does eventually disappear, extended bf or not. I suspect the immature behavior you witnessed at the LLL meetings had its origins in a wide range of parenting decisions, not strictly b/c of extended bf.
Again, I think the focus should be on acceptance of each other's decisions, however "weird" they may appear to the naked eye.