hELP!!!! - Friendship Help

TANNER'S MOM wrote: Ok, My friends husband has always been a JERK!!! He drinks to much and I have always felt like cheated on her. He has tried to do things w/ me...like take flirting to far and one time he grabbed me. I told my husband and didn't go around them for a long time..

Well she is now 3 months prego with there 2nd child. I was excited for her...I was trying to be anyway. I knew he had been sleeping around on her. But I didn't want to tell her, I felt so pulled as a friend I didn't want to lie, but then more often than not the messenger gets killed..u know!!

Well, I was sitting here at work, and the girl he was cheating with just called me and told me that she too was pregant@! I said why call me and she said b/c I can't find him and i was hoping you would tell me how to reach him. Or she would have to go to the wife she said.

OH MY GOSH

I just hung up the phone!! What would u do? Tell her too lessen the blow?? Or wait it out?

Boys r us replied: I,like you, would not have said anything before. I mean....like you said, it's the messenger that always gets the bad end of it!
But NOW..OMg..now you have a valid reason to come forward!! I would tell her!

mummy2girls replied: (((HUGS)))) Man i feel your pain. Its a touigh one. because you want your friend to know but telling her could cause such heartache also! Its a toughie! I have a brother that is doing that to his current wife. he hasnt gotten anyone pregnant other than his wife(as far as i know) but he is cheating on her with his ex(mom of his forst child). you want to say sometyhing but then if i do i dont know what backlash i would face!

im not much of help...just do what you feel you should. And be there for your friend!

TANNER'S MOM replied: OK Guys I called him and talked to him. I told him that I had known for a long time that this was going on and know she is saying that she is preg. I told him that I didn't want to hurt Kristy but I didn't want to see some one knocked on her door either and announce that she is preg with his kid. That is crazy.

This is what he said. He said she is goin to ruin me...he said don't worry I will take care of it, if i have to pull a Bart smith, Bart Smith was a friend of ours that shot himself infront of wife and kids. Now I am really freaked out

MomofJandB replied: OMG!!! What a horrible situation you've been put in! I would call him back, maybe and meet him for a drink (or maybe coffee would be more appropriate) and tell him you will help him figure the situation out. I know you don't like him, but if he is serious about doing something drastic, that would hurt his wife and kids even more. Could your husband meet with him? I don't know if this is good advice or not, but it's scary to hear someone talk of suicide. I'm not sure how involved you want to get, but maybe you and your DH could go with him to talk to his wife or even talk to the other woman. I don't know, I'm just babbling ideas now. I sure hope this gets resolved peacefully. Keep us informed and good luck!

TANNER'S MOM replied: oH my gOD! I am so freakin out! THis is crazy. My husband and I had really distanced ourselves from them, because we had known that this was going to happen, and felt like we didn't want to end up in the cross fire. Plus, we felt like if we were close to someone who was cheating then it might lead to other questions so we choose not to be invovled! NOW I am totally freaking OUT!

Oh Man! My husband is at work, I can't wait for him to call me! WHat if he does something stupid! I will have to live with this@!!!!

This is the perfect example of men doing stupid stupid things and someone else having to deal with it!

GavinsMommy replied: Oh wow!! What a horrible situation!

Are you SURE that he is really serious about the Bart Smith thing? I mean...why would he tell you that if he was really planning on doing it? Maybe he is hoping for some type of sympathy to turn the tables?

Then again, it's very possible he *is* serious and you are in a tuffy! He has problems if he would say something like that. I don't know him so I can't say, but I would tell her if you think it's possible he could actually hurt himself so she is aware of the situation and can maybe figure out how to handle it. I don't know...gosh I'm sorry!

Hugs

Lauren

My2Beauties replied: TO be perfectly honest I think the Bart Smith thing was a cry for sympathy, God forbid he is serious he needs help! Major help. But I think your friend has a right to know now...I mean like you said she doesn't need a stranger knocking on her door telling her that she is preggo by her husband. Sorry sweetie I would be totally confused right now as to what to do. I just wanted to offer you hugs. Lots of people say they will commit suicide and they won't go through with it, they just want attention or sympathy and that IMHO is what I think he is doing, but then again you always have to approach these situations with extreme caution! Good luck and keep us posted.

A&A'smommy replied: OMG I would be pissed!!!!! That guy is SUCH a JERK! I hope that he isn't really serious.... I think she needs to know and that HE needs to tell her!!! gf fgv fj fj

gr33n3y3z replied: Oh boy sounds like a mess to me .... I guess what I would do if I had no choice in the matter give the message to him and tell him he better tell his wife or you will have to do it .....

kimberley replied: oh no! i would definitely sit her down and tell her first. to hear something like that from the "other woman" would be devastating... at least you could do it more gently. as for him offing himself... i am sure it is all words so you won't tell his wife. he is probably going to try to talk to this girl and keep her away but the truth will come out eventually.

if it was me with the cheating husband, i would be more angry if you didn't tell me. good luck.

coasterqueen replied: OH gosh! THis is a mess and I'm not sure what to tell you not knowing your guy friend very well. If you really think he would do that IMO you have to tell his wife...at least for your conscious.