for those who did the CIO method - supports please

boyohboyohboy wrote: I really could use some support here. I am just starting this process and its the hardest thing I have ever done.
can someone tell me how to work this and how long it takes?

CantWait replied: I'm going to take a nap with Anthony, but I will respond later.

MyLuvBugs replied: With Lorelei it took almost a week (she was 3 months old). The first night we let her cry/scream for an hour and then she finally calmed down and fell back to sleep. The next night was the same, then 45min., then 30, and finally by the 5th and 6th night she only fussed for about 15 minutes then by the 7th day only 5 minutes and it was more of a wimper and sighing. After that she slept through the night. Until she was 20 months old and then she started waking up in the middle of the night for some reason. But she's back to sleeping through the night again. Just stick with it. It'll get better. But I personally don't recommend letting them cry/scream more than 1 hour. Just for the sake of their little throat/voice. Good Luck!!

BTW: The age of your child to start the CIO method is up to you. We started Lorelei at 3 months b/c she would just wake up at 3am and want to play or just be held. She didn't want to eat anything, so we figured it was time to start just letting her Cry her self to sleep. Lexi is getting to that point too. She'll be 3 months here in 2 weeks or so, but she still wake up around 5am and is REALLY hungry, but she goes right back to sleep for 2 more hours right after she's fed. Not sure if we'll have to do the CIO with her....at least not yet. Just thought I'd share....sorry if I'm babbling

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Hmmm. I sorta did this... I just put them in their crib when they're really tired, but not TOOO tired. I sit on the floor next to them and rub their back, pat their butt, sing, ssshhhh them, whatever... then when they're quiet and almost sleeping, I get up and leave, slooowly, while continuing to sing or whatever... then I go downstairs and make myself a coffee or a tea.

Then, byt the time my drink is ready, of course it's been a few minutes, and the kid's crying, so back up I go with my drink, and do it all over again. I don't talk to the baby... just telling her it's dodo time, patting her, rubbing her, singing... etc... usually I bring a book with me to read while I'm patting her... then when she's quiet, I go take a shower, or something else to kill 5 minutes...

then I do it over again. It's hard... but it's harder if you can HEAR her. Go on another level (if you have another level) and put some music on, and spend your energy cleaning. They blood pounding in your ears from the "workout" you're getting cleaning will drown out the crying sounds.

Just do it as long as it takes... and DO NOT PICK THE BABY UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! As SOON as you pick her up, all you did is lost. If you pick her, make sure it is ONLY when she is not crying or fussing. Otherwise, she's got you around her finger.

Good luck... I'm working on it with my own 1 yr old. She doesn't cry, as long as I'm in the room... it's when she realizes I left that she cries... she shuts up when I come back. She's almost got the point.

luvbug00 replied: I just let Mya cry,but she cried and cried and almost puked several times but i just let her go. For me it didn't help to go in because then she just cried and knew i would come back.
Good luck!

1lilpeanut2love replied: What about music or a projection type thing that plays music and has pictures going around?

boyohboyohboy replied: this is our first day, and i tried it for nap time, are you supposed to do it each nap and bed time??
ok so he was doing ok today, but he is overly tired, he was up alot last night due to the sore throat, and he wouldnt go down for his mid morning nap. but he was getting fussy and falling down, i knew he was tired. i tried walking and pacing and singing, and reading, and patting, nothing was working. so i took him to his crib and hugged him and told him night night and then turned on the lullabyes. well he started to cry, and that turned to sobs. so i went in every three mins. and patting him and his face was so red and he was so upset. i couldnt get him to calm down. so i left, and then went in three more times three mins apart. tried to sooth him. so i picked him up, and tried to just get him more under control, he didnt even want to hug he wanted out of that room.so i put him back and told him i would be back, and he again just kept sobbing to the point he couldnt catch his breath...
so by now i am sobbing.
so after 1/2 hour i went in and picked him up and brought him out of the room to my room where i used to nurse him and rocked him to sleep which didnt take long since he was exhausted. and then took him and laid him in his bed asleep.
still in his sleep he is gulping air, like a sob...
i feel like the worst mother in the entire universe.

so please tell me what i did wrong and how to start this for tonight.
he is doing ok with the weening. its not easy, but he hasnt asked to nurse at all until nap time, and even then he didnt ask he just couldnt figure out what to do to get to sleep. he seemed confused. now i am going to nurse at night for a little while longer, just to kinda give him so break in this whole thing..

do you think even that is going to prolong this torture?

i really just need some support right now. he seems so small and babyish today.

luvbug00 replied: To be honest I just plopped mya in bed when she was tired ( nap and bedtime) and let her have at it. it will get easier with each day as long as he doesn't learn what will bring you back into the room. Mya learned that her puke efforts brought me in once or twice and I had to learn to ignore it and she gave up.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Stacy, it is hard but persisance will pay off. First, don't go and pick him up. This will only prolong it and drag it out more. He wont learn to do it on his own if he doesn't teach himself how to. Usually with Tanner I would just let him cry, walk out the room, and not go back until he was asleep because him seeing me started the cycle all over again. It takes time, but you have to be persistant and strong. If you do this each day and NOT give in, you will notice with each new day it will take him less time and less crying over it. Good luck.

MyLuvBugs replied: Gosh, the worst part is day 1.....sitting in the living room or laying in bed at night and listening to your child scream and cry......I remember balling in bed with DH b/c I wanted to go in there and comfort her so badly. But like everyone else has said....that's the worse thing you can do. But Day 1 is the worst....it will get better. If anything, DH found that ear plugs help a lot!

PrairieMom replied: We started it with just bedtime, nap honestly wasn't a problem for us. The first night took about an hour, the second was 45 minutes. He was sleeping on his own in about a week. You have to be consistent tho, giving in will just let him know that the current level and length of screaming is what it will take to get you to come in the room.
you can do it!

mummy2girls replied: i did with jenna but only for a week and she was ok after that. Ive been pretty lucky with her and bedtimes. But if she does get where she is screaming and uncontroably crying then iw ould go in there and comfort them. What i did with a 1 year old i nannied is this... I put the child in her criba nd sat on teh floor so she saw me there until she fell asleep, i did this for a few days and then the next week i sat on teh floor but didnt wait till she was asleep and crept out , then gradually i was to a point where i just put her in and walked out the door. So she is putting herself to sleep but at her pace.

boyohboyohboy replied: today was the worst. i think i also must have ruined the effort by taking him out, and when he did fall asleep and i put him back in the crib in 15 mins he woke up and then was crying again. so i jus took him out and he hasnt slept since.
so he has had a 15 min nap today.

dh is home now, so we are going to wait til he gets tired and then go put him in his room with the music, and after a bath and lotion, routine. i sure hope it gets easier.
i think i am going to have to do something so i dont hear him screaming because its so hard its feels like he is tearing my heart out.

i guess its the martre in me that stayed to hear him today.

but it will help to have dh home tonight.

moped replied: If you would like me to give my 2 cents you can PM me anytime

CantWait replied: Ok, well I didn't really agree with this whole method until dh and I got into a fight about it. So I went on a cleaning frenzy, cranked the music up, and put Anthony in his crib at dh's request. Anthony cried for 3 hours. That's how pissed I was at dh, and how determined dh was to make it work. Eventually, within a week, it got easier.

We stopped after awhile and had to try again. We used a different approach the second time around. Sitting by the crib, not talking to him or paying him any attention and slowing moving our way out. By the time he was almost asleep we would be at the door, stay there till he was asleep for a few minutes and then leave.

Really, it's much easier to do before they are climbing out of bed. Once Anthony was able to get out of his crib, you actually have to constantly get up to put them back in. The sooner you do it also, the easier it is. The older, the worse the screaming, the crying and the tantrums.

Good Luck.

lisar replied: I just put Lexi in there and let her cry. She got it after about 3 days.

Our Lil' Family replied: I have to agree that going in there is just starting the cycle over. And like you said, when he fell asleep in your arms he woke up crying because he was suddenly in his bed...that's confusing to him. It's VERY hard, I know! Thankfully we did it at 4 months and now have a great sleeper. I used to put him in bed and go do the dinner dishes with the water running full speed the whole time. It drowned out most of his crying and by the time I was done he was asleep. Or you can try going take a bath. I hope it gets easier...it's really worth it once he learns to fall asleep on his own!

luvmykids replied:
I couldn't agree more.....I started a lot later with Macie and she already knew how to have a full blown tantrum by then

It's hard but consistency is the key. Also remind yourself that he isn't hurt, hungry, etc. Also, for me, it was very important to time it right, waiting until they were over tired made it impossible. And just putting them in after no routine made it rough too....I'm a big fan of routine and at night it's bath, teeth, story, and then bed. Once they realized there was an order to things it helped a lot.

Hang in there, as hard as it may seem you're doing a favor for all of you

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: It does get easier. I had Logan sleeping fantastically by 5 months then along came his surgery and his sleep schedule was ruined. ICU will do that. Anyway, I went back to 1 night feeding, thinking he needed the added nutrition (he really didn't) and at 8 months, Aaron finally put out his arm and stopped me from getting out of bed and going in to Logan. I haven't done it since with the exception of an ear infection that had him screaming in pain everytime he laid his head down. But I don't think that counts. The first night really is the worst. But consistency is the key and by continuing to go in to his room, you are sending the message that if he cries enough, you'll come rescue him. Try to stretch it farther than 3 minutes and don't touch him when you do go in (if you have to), just tell him it's okay and it's time to night night. Good luck, it will work.

boyohboyohboy replied: ok well our first night wasnt to bad. we put him in at 7p and he cried for 25 mins. now he was exhausted from fighting me all day to take naps...
he woke up at 11p and 130, and only cried for about 5 mins each time. then was up at 530, but he had a dirty diaper so that might have been what caused that.

so now here it is time for the first nap and he is in his bed, crying. but i do feel stronger about it today.
and I got great advice from JEN....

so thanks, i know I am going to need your support the next few days.

msoulz replied: That doesn't sound like a bad night for him! I hope it continues and today's naps are better!

Boo&BugsMom replied: That sounds like a lot of progress already Stacy!

Our Lil' Family replied: I bet tonight will be even easier!

quinnandjacob'smom replied: You're doing great! Jacob would scream until he puked and shook and basically just turned into a blubbering mess. I couldn't do it, so I modified it a bit. I jut decided that my only goal would be to not take him out of his crib. I would sit on the floor in his room and let him have at it, but I wouldn't pick him up. If he stood up (he was almost 9 mos when I tried it) I would put him back down and very matter of factly say "night night time. Lay down." It took about a week and a half of doing this. Then I started putting my sitting spot closer to the door each night until I was in the hallway. That took about another 3 nights. After that he was fine. Best of luck to you, it's hard but it will pay off

b&bsmom replied: With my two, what I did was put them to bed, let them cry for 5 min, then go in pat their back reassure them without picking them up. then I would wait 10min the next time 15 and so on. It worked really well for me. I hope that helps.

boyohboyohboy replied: I did decide to restart the counting since I messed up at nap time yesterday, so this counts as night one again...
but jake went to bed at 7p and cried for 15 mins. we didnt go in. and it worked he slept all night. he did occationally cry out but he never woke up and no tantrums.
now if we can just get thru nap time today.
I am so hopeful by monday we have a new kid.

Our Lil' Family replied: Yay!! I knew it would be easier the "second" time!!! You're on your way to having a GREAT sleeper! Yay Jakob!!