ex MIL update... - long sorry

kimberley wrote: i don't know if you remember my post last november or so, about my ex's psycho mom who flipped out on me and told the boys she wanted nothing to do with them anymore, called me a myriad of colorful names and sent threatening emails that she would have my kids taken away? well, she emailed me a few weeks ago saying she misses the boys and wants to see them with a very weak apology. you know, the one's that say "i am sorry BUT..." . i was shocked at first but then composed a lengthy reply that i have numerous concerns about her behavior around my boys and if i am going to even consider giving her visitation, we are going to have to sit down and hash this out. two weeks go by and i got no response. it didn't surprise me. then she phoned me friday and said she is ready to talk. i reluctantly agreed to meet her at her place on sunday.

i get there and the first hour or so she is babbling about nothing. the business, her friends and travelling. then my ex calls (he miraculously got out of bed and took the boys skating) and asks her to come to the arena! i almost blew a gasket! i agreed to talk, that didn't mean immediate access to the boys . so she hung up with him and asked me and i just bluntly told her we haven't discussed anything about what happened and that was not an option at this point. then we got into it.

she apologized again and tried to explain to me the amount of stress she was under at the time. she had just moved here from NJ and was going thru intensive training at her son's bar to take over the books. she suffers from anxiety and high blood pressure and didn't have her meds because her health insurance hadn't kicked in yet and all her yoga stuff was in storage. she had a lot of concerns about Jamie that were completely unfounded and never bothered to discuss with me or anyone. all of these things wrapped up together turned her into a bomb waiting to explode so when i questioned her as to why she took my kids to the bar after i specifically told her son not to... she erupted and is now embarrassed about it. she seemed sincere and the boys do miss her a lot.

i brought up that her outbursts are NEVER acceptable around the boys and she agreed. and the biggest surprise was that the ex totally went to bat for Jamie and told his mom not to judge him because he is a good guy under a truckload of pressure. that he loves the boys and is good with them and me and she has nothing to worry about. Jamie was stunned when i told him.

so we have a agreed to try visitation again but one more outburst and i am moving to the country and her and her son will see the boys on special occasions.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: Wow I remember when you posted about this - she sounded pretty terrible. It sounds like she's willing to follow your rules now though so that's good! Good luck I hope she behaves and you don't have to go through any of that again!!

mummy2girls replied: Oh man hun! I remember all that crap she was putting you through. It sounds like she is slowly coming to your terms. I would give her another chance but warn her if she pulls a stunt like that again that there is no way the boys will be in her life anymore. Its harsh but you dont want your children to be around someone that negative. Good luck and big (((HUGS)))

Hillbilly Housewife replied: I remember all that.....

wow. Some MIL's.....

I hope things turn out in your favor.....

gr33n3y3z replied: I hope this time things work out good for everyone

ammommy replied: Good for you! It took a lot of courage for both you and psychowoman to sit down and talk it out. I'm proud that you are willing to try to let the kids see their g'mother. Family is so important. I think that this was a very mature thing to do for your boys. I hope everything works out well.

DansMom replied: I admire you so much Kimberley. You tackle things head on. You stand up for what is right and you go to battle for your kids. You have a lot of personal courage and you are fair and compassionate. You set a great example. It seems like standing your ground was the right thing to do here---she backed down and came to her senses. Just always be wary with her---she may not be on the level if she's crazy. It looks pretty good so far though!

mammag replied: Hopefully she knows that you mean what you say now. You did the right thing. Now lets hope she'll continue to do the right thing also.

kimberley replied: you guys are making me all teary!!!! thanks for the love and support! you are the best!!

Kaitlin'smom replied: you are a great mom Kimberly the way you stand up for yourself an dyour kids is inspiritional. I remember that and you were great in the way you took charge, I am glad she is comming around. I hope she now repects you and can learn you kno wwhats best for YOUR kids right now. Way to go Kimberly

A&A'smommy replied: WOW I'm glad things are looking up and I am keeping my fingers crossed that will she will do what you ask for the boys sake!! I'm with the others not everyone would be that brave to stand up and say what she thinks, you did a good thing and even though the kids missed their grandmother things will be better for them and you now!!! ((((HUGS))))

lovemyboy replied: I'm new here so I didn't read about your previous troubles with your MIL but from what I did read she sounds awful. My only advice is to stay strong and stick to your guns. You are doing what's right for your kids!