ever feel like nothing - you do is good enough??

C&K*s Mommie wrote: Like you are constantly being compared or judged to another person. I am mostly referring to close family members or close friends comparing you to a common person that you know. Just when you think you have all your ducks in a row, one falls out of line. Be it that your kids are not as polite as another child(ren) or your house needs more work, or that extra weight that you have been working to take off (that is refusing to budge) is giving you grief.

Ever feel like that in any way??

My3LilMonkeys replied: First, to you, Nicole, if you are feeling that way. Yes, I have, and it is not a pleasant way to feel.

CAMSMOM1 replied: Oh yeah! I have felt like that alot. My SIL always thinks her son is: smarter, cutier, more poliet, ect, ect. She has him enrolled in a private preschool and pays over 1,000 dollars a month, and that's why her son is a genius. Good thing we don't live close together, she always compares our boys.
My parents always compare me to my sister. How clean her house is, how thin she is, how she is going back to college, ect.
I just try to remember I can't please everyone, and as long as Justin, Cam & I are happy, that's all that matters. I try not to let them get to me, but it still does at times. I never feel like I can add up to certain people in my family, or friends. But I know that I have things they wish they had, or qualities about myself or my family, they don't. We can't have it all I guess.

ashtonsmama replied: STORY OF MY LIFE!

I really do know how hard it is, and I think we all feel it at least once or twice in life, if not ALL the time...you're totally not alone Nicole!

I was always compared to my older sister...and now, as much as I love her, it has always been really really hard between us...
So I'm with you, hun...

ashtonsmama replied: SO SO TRUE Ann!!!
Thank you, I needed to hear that too...I've been feeling the same way...and it's no fun to always feel like you need to be better than someone else...

luvbug00 replied: Nicole I hope you arn't feeling this way!! If anything I see you as put together as a mother can be! Yur "ducklings" are funny, sweet little girls and you are always striving to put everyone else first. I hope you feel better!!

CAMSMOM1 replied:

Amanda, I can totally relate to you. My sister & I are always being compared. Even though we are the best of friends, closer than most sisters are, it's still very hard for me to hear my parents compare us to each other. She is 8 years older than I am, and that does make a big difference in where are lives are right now. She's a clean freak, and I'm the "slob". She's thin, lost 100 pounds...and I'm overweight. She went back to college, and I had to drop out once Cam was born. But still, she has her drawbacks. She had a very hard childhood, where I was the spoiled baby. She has hard feelings on how I got things she didn't, when we were younger. Even though my parents compare us, my sister feels that I'm the "favorite" child.
So I'm sure she's just as insecure about it, as I can be at times. Like I said, she has qualities that I wish I had, and I have some that she wishes she could have. I am a lot more outgoing, and social than she is. I'm daring & bold, and she can be shy. So we both have different qualities about ourselves. But we are individuals, as much as her & I are alike in many ways, we have our differences. But that's why we get along so well together, because we have simliarites & differences, but they work well together.
And then our Mom is very jealous of the relationship my sister & I have. She wishes she was as close to us, as we are to each other. But see...once again...someone's always going to feel left out, or compared to another. And we have to just take it with a grain of salt, except that we are different & our own person, and just be happy with what we got.

ilovemybaby replied: I don't really think I have ever felt like I myself have been compared to someone else. Not like that anyway.

And I haven't heard anyone compare Abby to their child or anyone elses.

I think I'm the only one that does that. LOL I am forever comparing myself to others and putting myself down because I'm not skinny like my sister, not as smart as her, etc... And I even compare Abby to other kids. But only because I sometimes think that I'm not doing as much as I could be to teach her things. I know a child the same age as her (well, he is 2 months older) that could say "calculator" and "octagon" at 18 months. So then I was like "he is smarter than Abby" "what am I doing wrong?"
But I know she is smart too.

C&K*s Mommie replied:

awwww.... the BIGGEST THANKS to each of you for saying that. That truly made my evening. I had a few moments where I had to take a breather and release a tear or two this weekend, because of the pressure of feeling compared, and judged. But things could be so much worse, so I had to pick my head up and put a smile back on.

MiniMomy replied: All the time.I hate it when dh acts that way.

Crystalina replied: Yes, I have this problem. Someone is always comparing themselves to me. EVERYTHING I do is not the way SHE would do it, my house is not like HER house, SHE would never let HER kids online (noggin.com for goodness sake) because of all the weirdos. MY butt is so much bigger then HERS, yea, right!, have you looked behind you woman. SHE is my MOTHER! This is a whole other thread. I have just totally urked myself just typing this.


Nicole...

luvmykids replied: Aw Nicole, I hope you're feeling better. Who in the world could someone compare you to? I picture you with the cleanest house, the politest kids, you just seem like you do have all your ducks in a row! And even if that weren't the case, none of us should be compared, we're all doing the best we can, some days are better than others I'm sure but we're all really not that different that there should even be comparisons to make.

ilovemybaby replied:
That is what my mother is like too! She is always on about my weight or how much I eat. I just want to say "have you looked at yourself lately?" She is the same size as me.
It's like this lady I saw on Dr Phil once that was calling her daughter a fat b**** etc... and she was HUGE. Her daughter wasn't nearly as overweight as she was.

MyLuvBugs replied: ALL the flippin' time sweetie!

CAMSMOM1 replied:

Maybe it's a Mother/MIL thing? My Mom & MIL say comments like that to me all the time. The last time my MIL came over to my house, which was a mess, she called my DH and said, "I don't know how you guys live in such a pig sty!" Even though I would say I have a good relationship with both Mom's, they still feel they have to comment on everything from the laudry, feeding Cam, my hair cut, my bills. In some ways, I think they are trying to motivate me to change, or do things THEIR way. kwim? But I'm not like them, and I'm going to raise my child, and take care of my family, the best way I can. And if it's not up to their standards, well sorry.

btw, Nicole you are a wonderful woman, mother & wife. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You go above & beyond for your family, and have such a compassionate heart. Being a SAHM to 2 children, a wife, a friend, a daughter....isn't easy. And we all try our best. And you are doing such a great job, so give yourself a big pat on the back cause you deserve it girl!

kayla's mama replied: Nicole I and Kayla were being compared too alot by my Grandma. She ould compare us to my Uncles SIL and her new son....It got real old...to the point that I stopped talking to her for awhile.

Hope things get better. You are a very sweet and compassionate mother

Chiflata2003 replied: All the time.

MM'sMama replied: Yep! SIL is little Miss Perfect!

Nina J replied: I feel like that alot. I try to think that I'm doing the best I can, but I always feel like everyone else does better at things than me and that I'm being silently compared.

holley79 replied: DH's side of the family is worse for making me feel this way. It never fails. Luckily I know the source. I think I make myself feel like I can't do anything right worse then anyone though.