development concerns

River'sMom wrote: I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice on the issue of my 11-month-old baby boy's development. I have been reading a lot of information online about 11-month-olds being able to speak words, identify numerous objects, follow commands, and immitate behaviors. My baby, River, is able to do many things that seem to coincide with his age, such as feed himself easily, stand unassisted for several seconds, give kisses on command, and imitate waving 'bye bye' but that is about it. If I ask him simple things like "where is your ball" or "can you find your bottle" he looks at me blankly like he has no idea what I'm talking about. He also does not speak any real words. Is something wrong?

Thanks,
Sara

paradisemommy replied: well my first reaction to your post was NO WAY..all babies are different, some are really smart and quick and others just take their time and are a bit slower. i wouldn't worry about it but if you are really concerned then i would mention something to your ped.

A&A'smommy replied: Hey I was like tavensmommy and immediately figured there was nothing wrong with him; all children just do things at a different pace.

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Fisher price-Parenting

amynicole21 replied: Nothing wrong with him at all! I don't remember if Sophia could do much of that either when she was 11 mos. Don't worry about it!

mama3x replied: I don't think anything is wrong with your little boy at all. With my DS, he was talking at 10 months but DD is not and she's 16-1/2 months. Granted she's preemie but she is doing everything else.

The only time to be concerned is if baby isn't doing ANYTHING on target or near to target. Since River can self-feed (which is GREAT), imitate, and wave, his cognitive development is coming along fine! Plus remember: when they concentrate on a certain area of development (i.e. walking), the other areas kind of stop progress.

If you are REALLY worried about it, talk to your baby's ped.

mummy2girls replied: I would say no! If you are concerned just bring it up with your ped. i read all these posts about moms worried thier child is behind and i know all too well what you are feeling. My dd developed slower than most kids her age. She is now 2 and she is now a fire cracker. She will do what you ask her to do. she say lots of words and phrases. And even knows what the word no means amd man does she know how to use it!

She didnt start to crawl till she was 12 months, didnt take her first unassisted step till she was 20 momnths. She would not stand agaisnt furniture or crusie agaisnt things till she was near 11 months. When she hit 12 months all she would say is momma, dadda, yeah, uh uh, and hi. then by 18 months she started to spit out phrases and words like nothing! So dont worry. kids develop at thier own pace. one of my pet peeves is parents that force thier child and put pressure on thier child to do things because they may be behind.. My dd's dad still does it and it urks me. Im not saying your forcing your child by all means. Im just saying give your child time and your child will do stuff when they are ready!

Josie83 replied: I agree with the others, it sounds to me as tho there's nothing the matter with your baby at all! All children develop in different things at different times! He'snot even a year yet! Cassie talked and did cognitive things quite early but was a little later with physical development . . . but she's turned out fine! I think its natural for parents to worry but I'm sure River will be fine. Welcome to the boards be the way, i hope you stick around! xx

River'sMom replied: Thank you all so much for your responses! I really appreciate it so much, and to those of you have have pictures of your children up, they are absolutely gorgeous!

In the past few days, River has seemed to recognize "ball" and "book" pretty frequently. I am feeling hopeful about that!

Here is my main concern: River does not respond to me when I say his name. I know this is common with autistic children. I can't think of any reason why he would do that, except that he is usually really into something he's doing at the time. But, it just doesn't seem normal to me that he doesn't look up at his own name I am very very concerned about this factor.

Thank you all again.

-Sara (River's Mom)

River'sMom replied: Oh, I also wanted to attatch a picture of River and add one more thing.

River was born with the umbilical cord around his neck. It was promply cut and he took his first breath about 15 seconds afterwards. I have read that there may be a link between oxygen deprivation at birth and autism. So now I am very worried and paranoid about it, and with him demonstrating some potential delays and not responding to his name, I can hardly think about anything else. Am I jumping the gun?

My2Beauties replied: I don't think that you should be concerned at this point because all children develop differently. My dd is also 11 months old and she doesn't know what book or ball or even ba ba is for that matter. She can say a few things but she doens't even really know what they are. My ped says she is developing right on schedule!!! Most of the time I think those books expect too much from our little ones!!!

MomToMany replied: Hmmmm, my 5th child (born 7 mos. ago) was also born with the umbilical cord wrapped tightly around her neck. She also took about 10 to 15 seconds to start breathing. I didn't get to hold her for half an hour. I'd say that it is pure nonsense about the connection to autism. People are just trying to find something to blame it on, when nobody knows what causes it. Ask your Dr., and see what he says .

MommyToAshley replied: Oh my goodness, he has the cutest smile!!! Thanks for sharing his picture!

I really don't think you have anything to worry about, but I know it is hard not to worry. I agree with the others on his development... he sounds just fine. Babies learn different things at different stages. They really do concentrate on one thing at a time. Have you expressed your concerns to your Ped? I am sure your Ped will only have reassuring words as well.

Being a Mom is tough, I am the biggest worry-wart of all!

River'sMom replied: Thanks again everyone! I have started to calm down a little thanks to your responses. I'm also feeling a little more hopeful because River has started to respond to a few words. He still doesn't respond to his name, but he has a video about River's and lakes, and when it says "Rivers" he turns around. I think he might be ignoring me!

How old are all of your children? What brought all of you to the message board?

Take care and have a great election day!

-Sara

Alice replied: I would speak to your pediatrician. NOT because I think there's a problem. But you think there's a problem, and he is the one who can objectively and authoritativley tell you. It's not the same as hearing it from a bunch of very concerned strangers. You'll sleep better after you talk to your doctor.

My youngest, Kira, will be 2 in February. Her vocabulary is still very limited: "mommy, daddy, NO! , stop it" and a few others. And then there's lots and lots of baby-babble...I'll miss it dearly one of these days when her speech improves. So I ran it by my pediatrician last week, at the end of the physical "Any concerns?" conversation. Not because I'm worried, but to put it on his radar in case I forget to mention it next time. (Sometimes I am lucky to remember to feed and bathe my kids, forget about questions for the doctor ) But she knows everything I say: if I say we're going out, she runs to the closet for her jacket. If I say Barney is on, she runs to the TV and claps her hands.

As someone else mentioned, kids concentrate on one skill at a time. At the moment, Kira is concentrating on the physical: she can climb out of her crib (OH NO!!!!!) and loves to climb up on the dining room table and empty out my wallet. So if River is concentrating on other skills, the skills you mentioned will be pushed into the background.

ctymom replied: You really can't go strictly by the charts for progress. It's just an idea but not written in stone. Babies will develope at their own rate and kids usually catch up with each other around 2-3 years old. Some babies will start walking at 9 months while others dont show an interest until 15 months! One day it will all click.

But if you're concerned, you can always ask your doctor but if he/she hasnt said anything regarding his developement then he's probably just fine.

Pamela

River'sMom replied: Thanks again everyone! River seems to be making a lot of progress, and things finally seem to be 'clicking.' I still have a few concernes about possible autism, but I am probably jumping the gun. I will try my best to relax with all of your reassuring words.

Thank you,

Sara and River

jcc64 replied: Hi Sara and welcome,
I'm one of the older moms on here (39). I realize that with 1st children, it is common to pour over the books looking for confirmation that your child is "normal" or on target- I know I did it. But as many have already said, it is merely an outline, all kids progress differently- in fits and starts, and are more adept at different skills at one time or another. I've noticed that boys in particular seem more interested or adept at the gross motor skills early on (walking, crawling, etc), and tend to pick up verbal skills and communication a little later. I'm certain none of my kids spoke any kind of intelligible words before the age of 1. Sure they made sounds and babbled, but real words came after the 1st b-day.
As far as your fears concerning autism, I would do as the others have suggested and approach your pediatrician if you are losing sleep over it. He/she will be able to give you a more accurate check list of developmental cues to watch for. Off the top of my head, I think rather than language, you should be watching for eye contact and a willingness to connect with others. The fact that you mentioned that he kisses you is very encouraging. And have you had his hearing evaluated to be sure that he can hear you when you are addressing him?
Here in NY state, evaluations for autism and delays of all kinds are easily available through Head Start. Ask your dr for the info- they can come right to your house and observe your child.
I have a feeling your child is just fine. It sounds like you're a little haunted by the circumstances surrounding his birth, which is understandable but probably groundless.

River'sMom replied: Hi JCC64,

What a beautiful little girl!

Thank you for responding to my posts. I am, indeed, excessively worried and you're absolutely right that a large part of it has to do with my being a first time parent.

River is doing well! At 11 months and a week old, he understands "where is your ball" "where is Elmo's nose" "where is the light" "hold it" "give it a kiss" and a few other things.

He took his first step yesterday so he might be walking by his first birthday!

If anything, I would say that he might have some senory integration issues, but I don't think autism is a concern anymore, as his social skills are great, eye contact is not bad, and he understands language well.

He has never enjoyed cuddling, unless on his own terms, does not like people to get too close to his face to talk to him, likes romping in blankets and rubbing his face on different surfaces, naps very infrequently and wakes often, and does a few other things that seem a little 'off' to me...but who knows--he's still young and maybe I am confusing some personality traits with problems.

Thanks for the helpful words,

Sara (River's Mom)