crying it out

Joani wrote: Emily is almost 11 weeks old and will not sleep unless she is on me or near me. I've just recently started to put her next to me in our bed. Up until this point we were sleeping on the couch together. She WILL NOT sleep in her bed. I've put her in her bed when she's awake, but very sleepy and also when she was sound asleep. Nothing seems to work. Once she starts to cry I try to go in a comfort her, but to no avail. I don't know what else to do. Is it too early to let her cry it out? When did you start to let your baby cry it out. I just went back to work Wednesday and I'm so tired. I need some sleep... When she's in the bed with us she generally sleeps anywhere from 4 to 6 hours for her first stretch. After that she's up every 1-2 hours and wanting to eat. She goes through so much formula it's insane!! We just started her on Enfamil AR (Added Rice) because she has reflux. I thought that might fill her up and let her sleep better, but apparently I was wrong. What's a mom to do???

MomToMany replied: What's a mom to do?? Sleep with your baby! I could NEVER handle letting my kids cry it out. And at 11 weeks old, that is WAY too early. It doesn't matter where you sleep; if she likes sleeping with you on the couch, then do it. I slept in the recliner for pretty much the first year of my oldest DD's life because she didn't like sleeping with us, and she was nursing so frequently. She is probably missing you while you are at work, and is trying to make up for it. And 4-6 hours is really good for that age. She should still be waking up for at least one feeding during the night. Keep the lights as dim as possible, and just whisper or use a quiet voice when she does wake up. She can feel when you are tense or upset, so try to stay relaxed as much as possible.

Good luck!

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Gosh those first few months are so rough. Some babies sleep more than others and there is no doubt us mommies take the brunt of it and are the ones who are left sleep deprived. With you having to get up and go to work it makes it that much worse.

My daughter was sleeping thru the night from 6 weeks on. I never really had any problems with her waking up once I got her to bed. Getting her to bed was another story. She also wanted to be near me. To this day she is a big snuggle bunny. My son on the other hand likes his bed...he prefers to sleep alone, but he didn't start sleeping thru the night until he was 13 months old. He will still wake up in the night on occasion (last night was one of the nights he chose to do this...from 12 til 4 )

If your daughter is a big eater, she is going to wake up in the night to eat. No amount of formula or rice cereal before bedtime will make her sleep thru the night. My son was and still is a big eater. That's the difference in he and my daughter and I suppose why one slept thru the night and one didn't.

If she likes to sleep with you and she sleeps better when she is near you, then I don't see any harm in co-sleeping. As long as you are both getting rest, it seems more beneficial to do so. I wouldn't rush into putting her into her own bed until she is ready to be separated from you at night. JMHO. The waking up in the night is just a fact of life for some. If you put her in her own bed you will just be walking in there to feed her. I would definetly say 11 weeks is too early to let her cry. I know you are tired, but trust me when I say that this is just a season of life and it is over before you know it. Truthfully, you will never sleep the same again. In our house it is always something disturbing our sleep. Hang in there. I hope you find something that works for you and Emily. (I love that name..It's my mother's name. )

CosmetologyMommy replied: Aidan was like that at first and I learned to rock him to sleep but his doc said that was a big NO NO because I would have to do it even when he got older so I had to do the crying it out...... yeah and it did hurt me but now when I put him down to sleep he stares at his mobile and just falls asleep. Even if I am holding him sometimes he will just fall asleep on his own

TeagansMom609 replied: My daughter was the same way. She slept on my chest in bed for awhile. Maybe 2 months. She wouldnt sleep in her crib from day 1. I didnt mind though, I thought it was nice that she wanted to be with her Mommy. But when the time came that I wanted her to start sleeping in her crib she refused. That was probably my fault. She slept in bed with us until she got her own room at 12 months.

Does your baby like sleeping in a bouncy seat? Sometimes my daughter would fall asleep in her bouncy seat and we would put that in her crib. Ive heard of alot of moms doing that. Try that maybe?

At this point, being that your baby is so young, I would do what ever gets you the most sleep. Even if that means letting her sleep with you etc.

Hope things work out!

mom2tripp replied: Well I say try a couple of different things and see what works best for you and your family if co-sleeping is it then great, if not then so be it. Tripp slept with us and actually on my chest for about 5 months of his life and then I did let him cry it out in his own crib. It only took one night and he only cried for about 10 minutes. Since then he has slept through the night and loves his crib.

BUT I do think your baby is a tad too young to cry it out, JMHO. Try the co-sleeping thing and I hope you both get some much need rest. HUGS TO YOU, this time shall pass

SOUTHERN MOMMY replied: I had this problem also What worked for me because of the reflux it hurts them to lay flat. i used one of those boppy things that you use for breastfeeding and prpoed him up in that and he slept great in that because he was propted up and i think he felt like we were holding him. Good luck hun

CAMSMOM1 replied: ITA with the other ladies on this one. First of all, she is to young to cry it out. And because she has acid reflex, she can be uncomfortable or in pain after eating. With time that will get better. My sisters son had acid reflex, and colic. It took him a few months to calm down at night. Every baby is different.
I also agree that you all need to get sleep. Do what works for both of you. Once she gets a little older, she may find sleeping in a swing comforting. My son slept in his swing the first 5 months. He liked to be moving, and it was snug and secure. Once he out grew the swing, I had to put him in his crib. The first few nights were hard, but by the end of that week he was putting himself to sleep.
Since she is only 11 weeks old, she will be feeding a lot. Every 2 or 3 hours is normal, my son ate ever 1 1/2. Yes, it gets expensive and you feel like all you are doing is feeding them, but it's nessassary. If you just switched formula, her stomach may still be adjusting to it.
I hope things get better for you and you can catch some soon!

By the way I wanted to welcome you to Parenting Club!

Ann

mummy2girls replied: Yes i co-slept with my daughter till she was like 8 months old. The big reason why i stopped was because she is a all over the bed sleeper. I would wake up with a foot in my mouth:( She has always slept through the night since she was like 3 months old. And i never had problem gettign her to sleep in her own bed. She loves it! She even will lay in her toddler bed and sing herself to sleep. im blessed with that because alot of parents are going insnae tryign to get thier child to sleep on thier own.

I would still co-sleep with her if that is what she needs. The one thing i am not so agreeably with is rocking the child after a certain age. because you will be doign it for a long time. Well i think so anyways. I have to rock the girl i care for during the day to sleep and if she wakes up she cant soothe herself back to sleep because all she is used to is rocking. And its so dfraining. Alot of people are for it and that ok for them but not me:(

CantWait replied: I went through this exactly with Anthony. He wouldn't sleep unless he was sleeping in my arms or in the crock of my arm. Most times, naps were on the couch, as you're doing now, with both us lying down. I started letting him cry it out at 10 months, but honestly if you can hack it now, it would probably be better for you. Anthony is now 2 and a half, and I still have problems getting him to bed. I still have to be right there until he falls asleep. Good Luck.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: I'm with Mollie on this one... 4-6 hours IS a night. I hate to beak it to you... lol but for babies - since they sleep so much during the day too - a "night" is about 5 hours.

I'm going through the SAME thing.... my Naomie is 2 months old now, and STILL eats about every hour, hour 1/2. She'll sleep great if i'm holding her...but as soon as i put her down.... waaaaaaaaaaah!

I generally sleep in the midde of my bed, propped up with 3 or 4 pillows, and her on me. It sucks, cuz i'm a tummy sleeper... slept on my tummy up to my 9th month of pregnancy - the last few weeks more on my side though.

How much formula does she eat when she does eat? I remeber Zach used to eat 4 to 6 ounces, right from a few weeks old.... about every 3 hours. Emilie, otoh, about 6 ouncesevery 2 hours...

shelbysmom replied: HI! Have you tried to swaddle her? I didn't think Shelby would like it at first, and I actually said "oh she hates being swaddled" So, I went and bought two things, that should come with every baby! LOL
I bought the book, The Happiest Baby on the Block, and I bought a swaddle me wrap from Babies R Us. When babies sleep their arms twitch around and wake them up. Plus, when they were in the womb they we're all bunched up, and they miss that! Also, there was ALOT of noise inside you, so I also put a sound machine in her room and turn it up LOUD! Like the vaccum.
Shelby has slept in her room since day one, and she loves her crib. She too, is also on Enfamil AR. I know not every baby is the same, but this is what worked for me. I would at least give the book a try!!!!!!
Hope it helps!!!!
Stacey

PrairieMom replied:
I agree! swaddle swaddle swaddle ! The tighter the better! I got real good at it working on Peds. I have never come across a baby that didn't like it. The trick is to do it right.

1moremakes4 replied: With my first daughter, I rocked her to sleep. I just loved how sweet she looked. The daycare teachers hated me for it because she was so hard to lay down at school. With my second, I told myself I wouldn't rock her to sleep. I haven't been very successfull. I can't stand to hear her cry when I lay her down when she's still awake.
We tried having her sleep in a bassinet beside our bed, but she slept better when she was laying next to us. I guess the body warmth, hearing our breathing, etc helped her sleep.
We started putting her in a crib when she was about 5 weeks old. (she's almost 10 weeks now) She does okay at night, but during the day she doesn't usually stay asleep once I put her in the crib. It's frustrating because I end up having to hold her most of the time, but at least she gets her naps in.
I'm sure it will pass. We just have to hang in there.
Good luck!
Beth