bottle feeding - so tired of the debate

MichaelsMommy wrote: I am just so tired of the whole bottle vs breast debate.
I post on a few different forums and I can't tell you
how tired I am of defending myself because I bottle feed.
Some of these mothers think that we're less of a mother
that our babies are lower people or something. One
just posted a link to how the industry is bascially
lab testing the babies with the DHA and ARA.. Sorry
but not buying it. Some of us didn't have much
of a choice for one reason or another. Of course
breast is best, I'll agree to that, but there is nothing
wrong with bottle fed babys or mothers who chose
to bottle feed. Our babies will not be less intelligent
or mildly retarded from it. My twins were bottle fed
I was bottle fed, so was my DH and we're all just
fine - my girls are on the honor roll for going on
3 years. Sorry - but it just gets under my skin.
All the comments and looks from strangers when
I give him a bottle - enough already.

mammag replied: Just try not to let it bother you too much. I breastfed my babies but my sister didn't and I don't think any less of her. Heck, I was given plain old carnation when I was a baby (not the formula type). I think I turned out okay and, if I do say so myself, rather intelligent thank you very much.

You're a great mommy!

texasp3 replied: There will always be people who will find fault with how you parent, as I'm sure you know by now. I was lucky enough to breast feed my older boy, and had every intention of breastfeeding Gabriel. Unfortunately, life conspired against us and after a couple of months of trying, and of being terribly, terribly ill and getting worse (me, not him), I was forced to give up in order to rescue my own health.

My mother was literally in tears begging me to give up and take care of myself. I wish I could have taken care of my own health AND continued to try to get him on the breast - he was born early and I pumped and bottle fed him for the two months that he did get breast milk.

So, I know what you mean about some of us not really having had a choice. Oh... and my Mom's milk actually made me SICK, believe it or not. No, it wasn't something she was eating blah blah... I was actually allergic to her breastmilk. Breast may be best (usually) but there are ALWAYS exceptions. So I actually did much better once I became a formula baby. Go figure!

elvisfan replied: I agree that someone will always find a fault with something. If it's not bottle/breast feeding it'll be something else. I breastfed my first for only 8wks then he was bottle fed. I wish I could've breastfed him like my other two but it didn't work out. I mean when they are in their 20's are they really going to be wondering if they were breast/bottle fed?? I can see them graduating from college. I'm not validictorian cause you didn't breast/bottle feed me!

iluvmysweetiepies replied:
LOL ITA

I breastfed my three oldest. I pumped for about a month or so for the twins because being premature they didn't have the energy to breastfeed. Now they are on formula. I think whatever works for the baby and the mommy is best!

mummy2girls replied: i know i get irratated about that also. i breast feed Jordan but because of him not thriving i got scared with jenna so thats why i chose to bottle feed...so i knew how much she drank...

coasterqueen replied: ((HUGS)) No matter what others think, it only matters what YOU think. You are the one making the decisions for your family and that is all that matters.

I will admit I am more on the breastfeeding side of the debate BUT I don't look at the debate as bottle fed vs. breastfed because I not only breastfed my DD for 24 months, but she got breastmilk in a bottle (bottlefed) for 19 months (til she was 21 months old). And my new nursling will have the same treatment.

Again, don't let what others say bother you and you shouldn't if you are comfortable with your decisions.

kit_kats_mom replied: I know what you mean. I don't see why people get so worked up about it. Ok, I breastfeed but mainly because it's cheap and I'm too lazy to deal with bottles. LOL

Some people are just very opinionated and you need to try to let it roll off your back. The nipple nazis bother me and I BF my first for almost two full years! I applaud the LLL for increasing awareness but there has been quite a backlash against the bottlefeeders because of it. Just think, 20 years ago, you would have been getting the same looks/arguments/opinions from bottle feeding moms if you were nursing your child...times have changed.

There are so many different ways to parent. Many of my friends who are now having kids, ask me questions and I always preface what I say by "well, this is what works for us but every family is different, you need to try different things and go with your gut for whatever works best for you and your child".

MommyToAshley replied: Bottlefeeding or breastfeeding doesn't make you any more or less of a mother and good parent, and I am sorry you were made to feel this way. Everyone has to do what works best for their own family.

You are a good Mommy, and the ones that matter most (your kids) know that. So, I'd just ignore what everyone else says!

A&A'smommy replied: I didn't know people did that anymore I know more people who bottlefeed instead of breastfeeding BUT that is because of our age and lack of knowledge. I didn't get to breastfeed but omg I tried until I just couldn't anymore... anyway I'm sorry people are being so word to you!

Emeraldsmom replied: I totally know how you feel. I have had the same issues because Emerald is bottle fed. I have had so many people make me feel so terrible because I did not breast feed. What I found is that you kinda have to not listen to what people say. You just know you are making the right decision for you and your child and who cares what other people think.

Josie83 replied: I know how you feel carol, like Jess I couldn't breatfeed cassie either and there have been a few comments and opinions cast. Like everyone else says, don't take it personally - you are a GREAT mother to Michael and I'm sure that there are many things that you could coment on on other people's styles of parenting, you are just not rude enough to do so! xx

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I have to say I have experienced this first hand as well. My oldest was bottle fed. I was young and she wouldn't latch. Emily is the smartest kid I've ever meet and we have a great relationship. Spencer would get the occasional bottle. And Claudia, well for the first 3 mths she was given breastmilk in a bottle until she finally latched on. Then I was hospitalized so many times when she was a baby that my inlaws really didn't have a choice but to give her a bottle. Granted that most of the time it was breastmilk, but she was given formula at times too. I am on the Breast Feeding Coalition were I live and let me tell you there are some fanatical people on the Coalition. I was giving Claudia a bottle of apple juice and the looks and comments these women made. It was appalling. I think that every parent has a right to make that choice for there baby.

HollyJo replied: I breastfed both girls but also gave them formula once in a while. It was more convenient when traveling or going out. It also made it easier on the baby sitter that the girls would take a bottle. I remember watching SIL's kids and they absolutely would not take a bottle, OMGosh was that a looonnnnggg 3 hours of screaming.

Holly

gr33n3y3z replied: I breast fed all of my children
But the boys only lasted 3 to 4 months
The girls lasted 6 and 8 months
I've never downed ppl. who didnt Its not my place to do that.
I feel you do whats best for you and your child and its no ones Business what you do.

PascosGirl replied: Well breast is only best if the mother eats properly. I have seen many women that didn't eat right, yet they insisted on breast feeding. I couldn't breastfeed because I never had milk come in. I don't worry what anyone thinks of me. Besides, they don't even know why I don't breastfeed. If someone passes judgement on you because you bottle feed, that is their problem. I wouldn't let it get to you.

coasterqueen replied:
Okay, I have to correct you here....and not trying to start a debate. Breast is still best even IF mother doesn't eat right. Baby will get the nutrients from the milk before it's passed on to the mother.

I have SEVERE food phobias and don't eat exactly healthy but after the research I've done and the doctors/lactation consultants I've talked to they said my baby will still get the BEST from my milk. Now I do take a prenatal vitamin to supplement the nutrients which helps.

My2Beauties replied: I breastfed Hanna for the first 6 weeks but decided to bottle feed her (formula) after I went back to work because the pump killed me! Hanna was a great nurser and all but I just couldn't keep up witha hectic work schedule that barely allowed breaks and then having to pump on the only lunch I got would have been really hard on me, I know, I know it makes me sound horrible but Hanna was on formula from 6 weeks to 11 1/2 months until I put her on cows milk and she is a smarty farty! She says at least 15-20 words (at 16 months) and can identify certain animals, animal sounds, people in pictures, etc...It's not just the nutrition they receive (breast vs bottle) it's how much time you spend with your children and working with them! I didn't decide to Breastfeed until the very last minute, the nurse at the hospital talked me into it! But when I told the nurses at first how I was going to bottle feed, they practically called me a terrible mother too I was really angry at first, but one nurse was really nice about it, basically told me it was my decision but that she wanted me to at least try it, that was a much nicer approach! I'm sorry you're having to deal with these types of people, really it's none of their business how you parent, all that matters is is that you love your children unconditionally! which we know you do!

Alice replied: You know, parenting is hard enough as it is. There are so many dangers out there that we have to be aware of. It's a real pity that others, parents in particular, can't be a little more supportive of all of us and the choices we're making. It doesn't matter why you or anyone else chooses to bottle feed. As long as the bottle doesn't contain Jack Daniels, people should mind their own business unless asked, don't you think??