another question - about my godson

cameragirl21 wrote: and this one shouldn't be controversial.
Here's a major point of contention between his mother and myself--she buys him toy guns to play with and some of them look like real UZIs and make sounds that sound like a real gun, or general special effects sounds.
My godson's mom buys them and insists he likes the sound they make.
I say a gun is NOT a toy and that children should not play with toy guns, especially if they resemble real guns.
There was a case here in Miami in the 90s where a 13 year old boy in a fairly rough neighborhood pointed what appeared to be a real gun at a cop and the cop shot him and killed him...and it turned out the gun was a toy.
For this reason, among others I am against my godson playing with toy guns.
My godson's mom thinks I'm being silly and that my godson understands the difference between a toy gun and a real gun.
any thoughts?

mummy2girls replied: well I have had a thing where i dont like my kids or any kids i watch to play with guns. and i dont allow them in my house. Because i think they look too real. and it freaks me out when a little kid will put a gun to another childs and pretend they are shotting them... ICK! But that said.. some parents are ok with it and some arent. so as much as you hate it if its not in your house then you cant really do anything about it. If your god son comes to your place with a toy gun you every right to not let the gun eneter into your home.

mckayleesmom replied: Well....I go back and forth on this one...however I will say that its his mothers decision and if she thinks it is ok for him to have them...then there is really nothing you could do.

I go back and forth because although I can see what your saying, guns have always been a boys toy..so to speak. Nobody questioned this back in the day, not till people started hurting people with them. Cops and Robbers was a favorite game of kids everywhere for as long as I could remember. Then some kid uses a real one and the fake ones are under attack. Most of the time the child that used a real gun with the intent to hurt someone, knew the consequences of his actions and more then likely had something mentally wrong with them. The problem to me is not the real guns....its people not taking the proper steps to keep the REAL guns out of childrens hands.

We use knives for eating, but there are people that use then to stab people...are we going to take away peoples silverwear too?


I would also like to add that I do respect people's dicisions either way. Russell doesn't have any toy guns, but he hasn't shown any interest in them at all.

mom2my2cuties replied: They passed new laws regarding the manufacture of toy guns - they are no longer allowed to look exactly like real guns and are required to have a brightly colored (I believe it is actually specified that it has to be orange) thing on the barrel so police can distinguish real or fake.


ETA - I agree with Marie

cameragirl21 replied: you're right, Shelly, I can't do anything about it if it's not in my house but it's just an argument my godson's mom and I have had since my godson was about 2, when she first starting buying him guns and I could hear him firing them off in the background when she and I would be talking on the phone.
I really don't like guns though, and I realize it's just my opinion but I recall before I became a photographer when I worked for a company, we had a day where we all went to do paintballs and I refused to do it. When my boss asked why, I said that I won't point a machine gun look alike at a coworker of mine and shoot it, it's against my principles.
It's just that my godson's mom says that all of his friends play with guns and that I just don't get it.
As you probably well know by now, even though she is a friend of mine, she and I don't agree on many things....

holley79 replied: We were raised in the country and were taught to resepct guns. I think gun playing has been around for a very long time though and there is really nothing any of us can do. If your godson wants to play with them and his mother allows it then I guess that's about ti.

cameragirl21 replied: I realize there is nothing I can do about it and I'm not trying to take action against my godson's mom to force her not to let him play with guns, that is not the point of my question.
what i'm wondering is--am i wrong to be this upset about a child playing with guns?
my godson's mom thinks i'm being silly to think there is anything wrong with this....

mckayleesmom replied: I guess Im more or less trying to say that I don't believe that play guns are what cause kids to shoot real ones. If you ask me....The parents should be responsible because they didn't properly secure a real gun away from their child.

I don't know about most people, but I had toy guns when I was little....before it became controversial and I knew the difference between the real thing and the fake ones.

Yes, children get curious and play with guns and yes kids shoot and sometimes injure or kill other kids with guns, However, besides babies getting ahold of guns, these kids know the difference and if the gun was properly secrured in the first place, then it wouldn't happen.

To answer your question...I think you have every right to be uspet that kids play with toy guns, but in this case I think your just wasting your time being upset because this isn't your child and it sounds clear that the mother doesn't have a problem with it. Kind of like beating a dead horse.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Okay, I am going to go out on a limb here and say that Logan has a toy gun. It is a plush laser/ray gun that my mom bought him because he likes Buzz Lightyear so much. Yes, it is stuffed and doesn't look anything like a real gun. I don't see much problem with Logan having toy guns. So long as he is taught that they are toys. We don't have real guns in the house, Aaron and I don't like them. But boys will be boys.
My mom had a rule that forbade my brother from having toy guns. That lasted until he started building guns with legos and biting his toast into gun shapes.
This is a personal decision. And for the record, Jennifer, I don't like them either, but I'm not going to say Logan can't play cowboys and indians or whatever. And if he wants a cap gun someday, then I'll explain to him when and where it's appropriate to use it.

cameragirl21 replied: Brianne, the problem with a real gun if you're keeping it around for protection is that it has to stay handy and loaded. Otherwise, when someone breaks in, if you keep it locked or unloaded then it becomes useless--you can't just call a time out to get your gun and load it up.
So there is no realistic way a person who feels the need to keep a gun for protection can keep it away from the kids unless s/he keeps it very high up and out of reach in which case if someone breaks in, the gun owner better hope he can move fast and reach high in a hurry.
Obviously I'm not a big fan of guns to begin with...I just think that a gun is not a toy and shouldn't be treated as such.
I'm aware that boys have played with guns since time immemorial, but back then real guns were'nt something you could go buy at Wal Mart.

booey2 replied: Toy guns don't make it past my front door, but having 2 boys we have quickly learned that if they don't have the real toy gun to play with they will make their own "gun" out of anything even stuffed toys. My sitter has some because she had her nephew living there and he left some when he moved but she has hidden them.They do find them every now and then but she tries to throw them out when she sees them. It is usually a phase that boys will go through, Matthew did and Thomas is almost through it now.

mom2my2cuties replied: My family kept guns in the house growing up - and there was never a problem - we kept them locked in the gun cabinet and also kept them unloaded - they took less than 2 seconds to get the cabinet unlocked and the guns loaded. Because we lived in the area we did - we had A LOT of break-in's and there wasn't one time that we didn't have time to get to the gun.

mummy2girls replied:
but if you have kids a loaded gun that is handy is not a good thing. because kids are curious and i have heard lots of stories of kids finding a gun and shooting their friend by accident while showing them it... so if you a gun with kids in teh house then yes it should be unloaded and locked away...kids are faster than we think! Even high up is not a good thing because if that child is alone for some reason( like age 11 or older) and they know that loaded gun is high up or see the gun high up kids are smart and imaginative they can find a way to get up there to retrieve it!

Boo&BugsMom replied: I'm on the fence with this one. On one hand, with the way the world is today we need to be careful what we let our kids play with. On the other hand, people who use guns for the wrong reasons usually are not necessarily correlated with having a gun as a child. They are usually mentally unstable, had a traumatic childhood or uncaring parents, etc. There is a part of me that also thinks it only facinates kids more to not let them have them. Kids also don't need an actual toy gun to play with a gun. Guns can be made out of tinkertoys, legos, and other various toys. I don't think it's wrong to let a child have a toy gun, as long as the parents are educating their children about how real ones are dangerous and that they should never play with a real one. I think some kids can handle it more than others too. I think Tanner would love something like a marshmallow rifle and would do well with it.(a rifle that shoots marshmallows) but I would never give one to my little cousin. They are the same age, but Tanner gets the safety of things and his cousin just does not "get it". I guess I'm neutral.

Crystalina replied: Guns are allowed in my house. Be it a toy or a real one...however...they are all treated with the same respect. The toy guns are not allowed to be pointed at a person. If they want to shoot then "shoot" an object. They are to cary them the right way. Our real guns are safely in a locked closet but we have a huge gun cabinet/safe on layaway at Wal-Mart. (Better be getting that out soon ) They will be put in there when we get it. We live out in the country and DH is gone alot and I'm not about to stay out here without a gun. In the begining the kids were always having their guns taken away because they were not handleing them the right way. It sounds mean but so what. Even their squirt guns are not to be pointed at anyone. I'm so very mean. I know it's working because when we see a kid at the park or at someones house playing with a gun the way "regular kids" are allowed my kids are right there telling me that they are not using them right. Seeing as how my kids are only 5 and 3 I would never leave them with a real gun but if they ever come across one I hope they would know to respect it. That is the problem, parents will buy their kids guns and let them run around "play shooting" each other and never teach them gun safety. Then that child is handed a real gun from some moron and either shoots someone or shoots himself. I'm sorry, it's never too early to teach them what to do and it may save their lives. If my kids can't follow the rules then the guns are gone. You want to shoot water in your brothers face? Grab the hose.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I think you made a great point and worded your post really well. I like how you explained how you teach your children to "respect" them and play with them properly. I think if more parents educated their children like that then maybe there wouldn't be such a heavy controversy over them.

C&K*s Mommie replied: I may have missed it, but I am not sure how old your godson is. Him being able to understand the true intention of guns may be something that she is instilling in him already, although I am not sure of his age. The same as the late Steve Irwin was raised to respect & coexist with wildlife, and what he later taught his children at early ages, I think if you take the time to teach your children to respect guns and understand their true use than that is fine. To each his own.

Anyhow, if she chooses to let him have the toy guns than so be it. Personally, I do not buy toy guns for my nephews or friends children nor will I buy them for our own girls if they ask for it. Unless I know that the parent is okay with their child having them.

You are not being silly for thinking this way, that is simply your opinion.

Crystalina replied:
Thank you. I was dead against guns when I had my first baby. But I worked with guns everyday and DH hunts and I decided to start them very early. They are not even allowed to form a piece of paper into a gun and point it at anyone. Evan did that once and I told him, "Great, you made a gun...now use it the right way." I look at it this way, they don't see Daddy and his friends pointing guns at each other so they need to know you don't do that. I agree with guns but I don't agree with parents who don't teach their children what and what not to do with them, even if they are toys. How are kids supposed to know the differance? They won't be looking for that orange tip when handed one. They only know what their parents teach them and if their parents let them run around "shooting" everything up then what do you think their going to do with a real gun? It's really just common sense.

luvmykids replied:
I was one of those moms who, before I actually had kids, said "My kids won't do this or that" or "I refuse to allow my kids such and such." One of the many items on that list was "My son won't play with guns. They won't even appeal to him because we just won't expose him to anything that would put the thought in his head." Well ha ha, the jokes on me When I realized that most little boys will use anything as a gun, including their own fingers, I stopped fighting it. I still try to guide that sort of play but IMHO for most little boys, it's inevitable.

boyohboyohboy replied: my husband and i go back and forth on this issue. i had never allowed my son to play with toy guns, never had he seen one, then one day he just started using his hand as one, and i had no idea where he got the idea, then he told us finally it was at sunday school with the other boys he played with.
so then we got him squirt guns for summer, but he was only allowed to shoot at peoples legs, well that of course didnt last long.
then we got buzz light yr, and now he is into the lone ranger and the cyscokid...the old fashion stuff.
i have always taught caleb what a serious issue a gun is, he is never allowed to pretend to kill his friends,and we talk about what to do if you ever see a real gun or someone has one.
we always grew up with guns in our house too, lockup up and not loaded, i grew up shooting guns when i was 12.

the world has changed, for the worse
but we feel that its up to us to teach rigt from wrong

punkeemunkee'smom replied:

Actually Jennifer-the way that you keep guns in your home and keep your children away from them is you show them what and where,yes where, the guns are and you teach them that they are dangerous and not to be touched. Just like most of us do with cleaning products,electrical outlets,the stove,ETC....The fact is that there are many dangers in the home and gun safety can be added to the list of dangers our children are taught to respect and stay away from. Just like the stove has a purpose in the home but is dangerous when turned on-Taylor knows that Daddy's guns are dangerous and since she was small has been told what they are and that they will hurt her-she has never even tried to touch them. As far as your godson's mother's choice to let her son play with toy guns-it is her child and as such it is her choice. My parents never allowed the boys to have toy guns in the house-we did not even watch TV and yet they still turned sticks,forks,paper into guns at every turn They played cowboys and indians and army men with whatever they could get their hands on until my mom got tired of chasing them down to get her utencils back and bought them some cap guns

cameragirl21 replied: thanks, everyone, for your insight, I guess it's pretty clear that I just plain don't like guns.
But I also realize that boys will be boys.
The thing that gets me I think is my GS's mom's lackadaisical attitude about guns, as if they're not a big deal, which is not true at all IMO....

luvmykids replied:
Abbie, ITA .... we've always had a gun (if not more) in the house and treated it just like the other dangers you mentioned. The kids most definitely know the difference between a play gun and real gun and know without a doubt that a real gun is off limits, period. They don't even ask to touch it because the answer would be an earth shattering "NNNNNOOOOOOO"

TANNER'S MOM replied: I have guns of course.. my boys have their own guns for hunting etc. They way they graduated to real guns for hunting was by carrying a toy gun with respect. They can target practice. Tanner still to this day will take a toy gun outside and shot a 10 pt buck or a beat that is gonna eat us if he don't save us. Or he will get on his horse and put his play shotgun in his saddle and be sheriff and let me tell you he will use his rope if he you don't stop when told too.

Guns are very important and the respect from them even more so. Our children know to not touch one..look at one..and to even think about it. Kids will be curious..but for our boys and girls. They know what's it like to shoot one..they are older. If they want to target practice they wait until Dad and Mom is home and they wait until they use the proper safety. Tanner can pick up a gun and say allowed every rule about it I promise and one bad move he won't have the priviligde anymore. He is kinda like Barney.. he gets one bullet in his pocket.. and the rest is in dads.. Safety is important. I think with honesty and openness and not saying NOT my child you can acheive that.

I think when you hide things from your kids is when they pickthem up and go oh wait whats this..and not know what their actions will cause.

But again I will their is a big difference in a pistol and a hunting rifle and a automatic weapon..

kimberley replied:
i am the same as you. i swore MY kids wouldn't play with them either.. but as you said, it is inevitable. people buy them for them, kids at school have them..
i have a couple my ex bought for the boys which have been thrown out and dug out of the trash a few times lol. the boys fully understand the danger of a real gun and even with a toy not to point it at anyone.

people might see me as "lackadaisical" about it but the way i see it, i cannot shelter my child from every negative influence in this world or they'd never leave the house. it is my job as a parent to teach them how to cope with the negatives and make the right choices in life. there is no harm with a boy playing army with his buddies imo. i think we are too quick to force kids out of being a kid.

Crystalina replied:
I think you're right. We are too quick to force kids out of being kids and that is a very very sad thing. At the same time though our kids are walking into schools and killing other kids. It's a sad fact of life that kids today cannot enjoy being kids. Heck, they can't even go to school anymore without getting shot up. One girl here just got shot in the head and died. Do you know what she was doing? She was putting a dvd in the dvd player because her and her little friends were having a sleepover. Who shot her? a kid outside playing with a gun. He didn't mean to but the bullet went through the window. Now that girl will never grow up and that boy has to live with what happend for the rest of his life. Where were his parents? Did he even know it was a real gun? Who knows.

I wish I would have had my kids back in the Beaver Cleaver days.

BTW, I hope this didn't come across harsh. It just ticks me off that our kids can't be kids like we were able to. Well, I don't know about you but I was a '70s girl so things were a wee bit better then.

mom2my2cuties replied: I said something very similar in another thread today Crystal...Kids don't get to be kids anymore - they are forced to grow up too fast.

ashtonsmama replied:
I agree-that makes me so sad!

luvmykids replied:
ITA, those were carefree days of riding bikes to get ice cream, playing down the street, heck for that matter IN the street, walking to your best friends house, playing by the ditch. All things I will never, in this day and age, allow my kids to do.