YOU will not believe what I had to endure today!! - MY heart and stomach were in knots..Wahh

MomofTay&Sam wrote: I think you guys know I live with the inHells. We have the whole basement which is set up nice and yadda yadda. I make my fast run upstairs today to do something quick and I got stopped in my tracks by FIhell. Usually it's just bs about something. So he says.....(ready for this) We are going over to a friends house(a good friend of mine too) and she wants us to bring Sam! OMG my heart sank my tummy knotted up and HOW was I to reply to this?? I had to hold back the tears, and I am not a drama queen. BUT they can not be trusted. So I tried to wiggle my way out...ummm the carseat is too hard to get out.. "OK we will just take your car then" OMG...My older son is going to the pool I need my car. "So we will take our car how hard can it be to put in" I am starting to sweat now. So I say ummm we will see and go and call DH. I was frantic, if I said NO then they would start the we arnt good enough speech and all hell would break out. So DH says TELL THEM NOOOO, then we talk about it and agree they are going to our friends house who has watched Sam and we trust her 100%. The inHells will be unsupervised for 10 mins in the car coming and going and DH called the friend to lay down the rules. LOL It was 98 today and the inHells would surely say it's a nice day and sit Sam in the sun. So he went and I cried. I made up my mind when he got back that next time it is NOOOO no matter what comes out of it. I can't fold like that anymore.

Kaitlin'smom replied: So how did it go?

MomofTay&Sam replied: It went ok except for the complaining when they got back. LOL "We hate that car seat! How on earth do you figure it out?" Oh Sammy loved playing with the dog! The dog?? The dog??? Didnt the doc say to keep him AWAY from dogs and cats? Ugh never again I tell ya!

Kaitlin'smom replied: just wondering why is he to kept away from dogs and cats?

amynicole21 replied: Ugh, I would have freaked too!! I'm glad it went ok. Stick to your guns next time, though. You are the mommy! Translation = supreme ruler of the universe (or at least Sammy's universe for now )

MomofTay&Sam replied: Sammy was very sick with RSV for along time and the doc wants him away from animals until further notice. *Something* was prolonging his sickness and as soon as he beat the RSV he got it again in about 3 weeks. So we are avoiding things that could be causing this to re-appear until allergy testing can be done.

Kaitlin'smom replied: ahh ok

ediep replied: OOOHHH that sucks!! I would have done the same thing that you did. Definately stick to your instincts next time or insist that you go too.

catou_98 replied:
I totally agree, you are the mom, next time stick to your guns!

supermom replied: Great big hug to you - I can imagine how you felt the whole time he was gone. I am so glad that I've not had to worry too much when my relatives took Anders, or any of the other ones for that matter.....

Yep, I would have to agree with you and the rest - not again - especially since they can't follow the rules.

MomToMany replied: UGHHH! I lived with my X-IL's for 5 years, so I've totally BTDT!! It's amazing they could actually raise kids of their own ! I never fully trusted them to watch the kids as babies because they're the type who started cereal on their kids as soon as they came home from the hospital. I was so worried about what they might force down my babies' throats. They totally undermined my efforts to BFed; they gave me no support whatsoever, plus kept asking me "Are you sure he's getting enough???" all the time so I just gave up . I know, I was kind of a wimp, but I was also 16 when I had my first son and totally overwhelmed with everything (being wife, mother, student, etc..), so I guess I just gave up too easily. Not anymore!! I still have to deal with them, though, because of the visiting schedule in the divorce papers. But when my divorce was final, I just screamed, "Free at last!! Free at last!! Thank God almighty, Free at last!!!" I was SO happy!

I feel SO bad for you!! It is not as easy as some may think to say no to them. You have to put up with their complaining (whining, actually), even though you live downstairs. There's tons of things I should've said no to, but I was too much of a wimp, I guess. My X-MIL is a huge woman, and I was afraid she might try sitting on me or something, so I gave in more than I should have.

LOTS of to you from someone who's BTDT!!! Stand up to them next time, and explain that they don't follow the rules you have, so they're not able to take him next time. It's worked a few times for me, and of course they get all pissy and that, but it's worth it too! I liked the satisfaction of not letting them have their way!

Good luck to you, and hope things get better SOON!!

Julie (jem0622) replied: I lived w/ the inlaws for one year and moved out before I would never speak to them again!

Hugs. Sounds like everyone survived and they learned their lesson.

Julie

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I'm so sorry that you have to live like that! I hope everything went okay! I remember when I was growing up my Grandmother lived with us for about 6 mths. She was such a b*tch and I couldn't stand living with her! She was never very nice to us and was never trusted to be alone with us!

Hillbilly Housewife replied: BABY STEPS. I lived with my in-laws VERY BRIEFLY, and I can tell you that I was what they call "whipped". We moved out VERY quickly. We couldn,t afford our appartment, we lived on kraft dinner, frozen veggies and hotdogs, but we were HOME.

When we finally moved out of our appartment into our house, my MIL TRIED to come over everyday. I put a little sign on the door saying:

"I have an infant in the house. If you have not called ahead to ask for a visit, don't expect me to answer the door."

And I didn't answer the door. There is a long slim window along the enitre door, so I'd see her look inside, and I'd ignore the doorbell. I stuck by that little sign. She'd get pissy, sure...but DH set her straight, and told her that she couldn't expect me to drop everything because she wants grandparent time. First and foremost we are his parents, and it's OUR needs before the Grandparents needs. She still drops in sometimes, and I SITLL don't answer the door. heh heh!

Maybe you could also practice saying "I don't think so" instead of no... it sounds less harsh to say.