Would you be offended if...

MyBabeMaddie wrote: Okay heres the deal - Steve (my new man) is 100% Italian his dad moved to the US when he was in his teens and his moms all Italian too -

I thought I liked Italian food - The Olive Garden is great but thats about the only Italian restaurant I've been to - Steve loves to cook pasta but I think it is SOOO bland, I was eating over the other day and I could not taste the sauce at all, maybe because I'm sick maybe beacuse it didn't have a taste - He makes everything from scratch and he puts a lot of time and effort into it...

So heres where he got offended... I asked him for some parmesan cheese to put on the pasta - He got sooo upset! Like I spit in his face, He said I was not allowed to "americanize" his pasta by putting parmesan cheese on it! He said that cheese didn't go with this pasta (IMO cheese goes with anything and he knows I put cheese on everything...) Is that a reason to be offended? Its like don't dip the french fries I made you in ketchup it offends me.... at least thats how I take it...

HuskerMom replied: I don't think I'd be offended but it sounds like he takes his cooking more seriously than I do. Would he be upset if you just put parmesan on yours?
Maybe that's why we like the Olive Garden so much, maybe it's americanized Italian food.

stella6979 replied: I know some people can be "anal" about certain things, but you're a grown woman and can eat whatever she likes. IMO.

My2Beauties replied: I don't see why he'd be offended by that.

Anthony275 replied: eh i know what you mean, i have italian food at least 3x a week and i find no taste with pasta anymore
cheese does help with it though
he shouldnt had been offended, its not your fault if you're used to something else rather than the real thing

btw.. olive garden is nothing like real italian food

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Hmmm, tough one. I'm quite the cook and although I want my guests to be comfortable and enjoy what I make, I have to admit it irks me a bit to see them "change" what I had originally planned. As in throwing a ton of salt on something. But again, it just depends on who's asking. My DH often adds salt to a lot of my cooking, which makes me a little mad sometimes, but again, it's really not that big of a deal. Better he eats it than not, right?

I would tread lightly with this one though. Especially if he is someone new in your life. I would make a point of at least trying what he makes and compliment him for cooking for you! That's huge! But I'm not saying push your own tastes and feelings aside, because in any good relationship, there is compromise. He obviously has a bit of a control issue when it comes to his cooking, so IMO, without sounding harsh, just be careful that this doesn't come into play in other parts of your relationship (the control thing). He should be able to let it roll a bit more. JMHO.

Calimama replied: Well I'm Italian... and you do that in my house my Nonna would throw you out. Or at the very least mutter under her breath and roll her eyes a lot. But for non-Italians and non family members she wouldn't really care. Anyway I do think he overreacted, it sounds like he kind of needs to lighten up a bit.

PS- Olive Garden is NOT real Italian food.

mom21kid2dogs replied: Ummm . . . I've been to Italy and eaten alot of "authentic" Italian food. It was not bland ever and the Italians use plenty of parmesean cheese. Granted it's much fresher and in grated form which differs from what we package in the US in a can, bit it's not like Italian never eat it. Sounds a little controlling to me to be this way so very early in a relationship. It would personally make me run for the hills but I'm not a big fan of controlling relationships, either.

boyohboyohboy replied: do you think it might also have something to do with his culture? for instance, maybe cooking a meal like that, it would be rude in his "house" to change what he spent a lot of time cooking...but maybe for him its a real stickler...does that make sense?
also are italian woman supposed to be more submissive? maybe you were just expected to like it?

jcc64 replied: Hmmmm, well, I'm Italian and last I knew, parmigianna reggiato is authentically Italian. I never heard of cheese not being Italian, unless you're talking about the kind in the green can. (in which case, I can see where he saw it as an act of blasphemy ).
Yes, the Olive Garden is not REAL Italian food. Yes, Italian food is much beyond the traditional red sauce and lasagna that we Americans eat. But, what difference does it make if you want to put cheese on your food, anyway? You're eating it- you get to decide what to put on it. If you want to mix grape jelly in it, all he should care about is if you're happy and having a good time. Tell him to check his food snobbery at the door and lighten up!

Calimama replied:
That's what I thought she meant.. the green can Parmesan cheese.

My2Beauties replied: I do know that if you go to an expensive steakhouse that it's considered an insult to the chef to ask for steak sauce. I wonder if he thinks of it this way. Some people take their cooking very serious, I personally am never offended when anyone adds salt, pepper, cheese to taste to my food, whatever floats their boat.

amynicole21 replied: My husband will ask for hot sauce at EVERY restaurant we go to. We get the strangest looks It's embarassing, but ultimately, who cares? I'm sure he's just feeling like you are knocking something he worked hard on and taking it personally, but he REALLY should lighten up a bit

gr33n3y3z replied:
Bingo well said


Who cares what you add to the food its YOUR food and your the one eating it
I love hot peppers and cheese on just about everything that doesnt mean who ever cooked it sucks at cooking so get over it I say

holley79 replied: Well that's like when I was in this really nice steak house asking for steak sauce. The cook came out and reamed me for ruining HIS steak. It's no different then eating in Mexico and asking for sour cream. They think you are NUTS for that.

ETA: As much as I love Olive Garden REAL Italian rocks. It's tasy and a just over all great.

MommyToAshley replied: First of all, I think it is a wondeful gesture that he wanted to cook for you. I agree that it might be part of his culture, and he took it as an insult that you didn't care for his food. But, regardless, I think he over-reacted. I tend to agree with Rae and I would tread lightly and make sure that the controlling aspect doesn't show up in other areas of the relationship.

My2Beauties replied:
Yeah I heard they get extremely upset about it. Most of the time if you go to a good enough steakhouse,. like where the steaks are at the very least $30 bucks a pop or so, you shouldn't need steak sauce, they should be so tender and juicy that they basically melt in your mouth. If you need it then he didn't do his job right. BUT...some people just like steak sauce!

holley79 replied:
Oh the steak was awesome and I ate about a 1/4 of it before asking for steak sauce but I'm a sauce girl.

grapfruit replied:
See I would of told him where he could put HIS steak....

Anyway, my Nannie is totally Italian and would not be offended if you put REAL cheese on your "gravy" (as she calls it). Then again, her's is really tasty and not bland at all!

How does he make his sauce? I make mine from scratch and it's a snap, takes no longer then pouring out a jar (ok a LITTLE longer, but not much). I wonder why it's bland...

MyBabeMaddie replied:
LoL thats exactly what I was looking for but he didn't even have any

MyBabeMaddie replied: I dont mean for him to come off as controling - he wasn't yelling or anything like that just giving me a hard time, but in a flirtacious way... I take everything seriously so even though he said it with a smile on his face I knew he still was offended...

redchief replied: Hmmm... Ever had spaghetti and eggs? I never had either until John's roommate (from Italy) came and made it for us. It was well seasoned and had plenty of cheese on it. It's generally eaten as an appetizer, but I could eat it as a meal. Anyway, I've had authentic Italian food both from the mom and pop kitchen and from classy restaurants (and yes, from Olive Garden too). Some form of aged Italian style cheese or ricotta in the case of lasagna, was part of nearly every meal. One thing is for sure, though - if the food is bland, he's not a good Italian cook.

A&A'smommy replied: I dated an Italian guy.. he was 50% though and when we went to his dad he made us REAL Italian food and it was NOT bland at it.. it was VERY spicy and DELICIOUS!!! It could be just that you are sick!!!

kimberley replied:
at first i thought he was overreacting but from this post i wonder if maybe you read too much into it?

being half asian, i have dated many canadian guys who think sweet and sour chicken balls are authentic chinese cuisine... it makes me shudder because i would never eat it and growing up with authentic food, i know the difference... but in the same light, i feel you should eat whatever makes you happy... just don't make me eat it or call it chinese lol.

and i dated an italian guy for years and his mom's food was not bland at all. to this day, no one has made gnocchi or meatballs better!

maestra replied: I'm half Italian, and the green can is really insulting to my grandma. She will make a separate trip to the store just to buy you fresh parmigan (which is soooo yummy by the way!)

MomToJade&Jordan replied:
I would have to agree with Ed here. My mother is 100% Italian and when she makes food it has all sorts of flavor. We do have parmigan in our house, but it usually fresh. There's the other kind too, but that is mostly because Jade likes it.

jcc64 replied: What exactly is in that green can, anyway? I'm thinking a good portion of it must be salt, b/c real cheese needs to be refrigerated, right?
We only have the wedges of really hard imported parmagianna, and we grate it as we need it. There really is no comparison with the other stuff. It costs alot more, but it lasts a really long time, and it's so much better.

Danalana replied: One of my friends just spent a year in Italy, and she said the pasta really is bland there....it's surprising to me, cause I just assumed it was wonderful, like at my beloved Olive Garden.
Anyway, I doubt I would be offended....but I don't know, seeing as how I don't put a lot into--making everything from scratch, etc. I doubt I would, though.

lisar replied: I know a real Italian and he didnt like that either. But he wouldnt get offended if we done it.

MomToJade&Jordan replied:
Yeah you have to wonder what's in there if it doesn't go in the fridge. You can't beat the fresh parmagiana.

moped replied: Isn't the Olive Garden the McDonalds of Italian food?

wcs40110 replied: Im not very nice and Id tell my man to get over it and that im not eating something I dont like.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Personally I think it's a ridiculous thing to be "offended" over. If he doesn't like things Americanized then perhaps he should move. If he was joking or just being blunt, that's different. I guess it depends on how serious he really was and if he really was "offended".

My2Beauties replied:
I ate at an authentic Italian restaurant before and the food was not bland at all, it was delicious.

jcc64 replied:

Kind of, yeah. I grew up in a town in NJ where pretty much everyone was first or second generation Italian. Spaghetti sauce was called gravy, and Sunday dinner was great no matter whose house you went to.

luvmykids replied:
It still is, if you ask either my Italian stepdad or stepmom I called it that growing up, I didn't know it was called spaghetti sauce until I was at a friends house in eighth grade...her mom asked if I wanted my sauce on the top or the side and I said I didn't know b/c I'd never had spaghetti sauce before

I also thought lasagna noodles grew on trees in Italy

msoulz replied: IMHO no one should ever be offended by another's tastes. Maybe a bit disappointed but never offended, and even disapponted is kind of silly because we all like different things. I am a discerning eater and I don't like a lot of stuff which seems to offend people and that bums me out because I am sure they make things that are delightful to "normal" folks, just not to me. And I am a lousy cook so I can't get upset at anyone not liking my stuff either.

So I say pile on the parmesan and enjoy!