Wishing well wedding reception?

amynicole21 wrote: What does a "wishing well" reception mean? I'm thinking that they are requesting money instead of gifts, right? How much $ is enough for a wedding gift? THis is DH's cousin whom I've never met and he hasn't seen nor spoken to since puberty. I hate this kind of stuff! I'd rather go to a Target registry and buy a $30 tea pot and be done with it

jdkjd replied: I'd give them a bag of pennies. Isn't that what a wishing well takes??

Kaitlin'smom replied: that is my guess, I think any amount would be fine I tend to go a little to much when I give money......its always more than I would have spent.

Since you dont know them well you could do $25 or more...just my thought

A&A'smommy replied: 25 is a good amount I got TONS of gift cards for our wedding and most of them were $20 - 25 they add up and I believe every little bit helps!

DansMom replied: I always give $40 or $50 if I'm giving money as a couple/family, and $30 if the gift is just from me.

kit_kats_mom replied: I could be wrong here but I think that the ettiquite (sp?) is to spend as much on the gift as it will cost the bride/groom to invite you to the wedding. For example, if the wedding is an informal affair with snacks & no open bar, then I'd probably give $25-30 per person attending. If it is a formal affair with full sit down dinner & open bar, I think $100 per couple is more in line.

If I get some time, I'll check into that more tonight.

kit_kats_mom replied: Um...nevermind.

From theweddingchannel.com:

I'm often asked if there is a formula for calculating how much a guest should spend on a gift. Yes -- the amount spent on the gift should be based on your affection for and relationship with the couple -- or their families -- as well as your budget. People sometimes say that a wedding gift should cost at least as much as the bride and groom are spending on entertaining each person at the reception, but that is simply a myth.

amynicole21 replied: Thanks for looking that up, Cary! I thought the same thing as you - at least as much as they are spending to have you there. We weren't going to attend since it is this weekend (Sophia's bday weekend) so that sort of threw me for a loop. I was thinking we should send about $100, but now I think that's too much since it's more than we can really afford right now Maybe $50 will do...

Thanks for the suggestions everyone!

Alice replied: WOW!!! In the New York area, it's usually somewhere between $150 and $200 per couple. (But then again, my 3 bedroom cape on a 50x100 piece of property is worth about $350 K-- the point being that money doesn't go as far here as in some other parts of the country.)

Sorry, I've never heard of that type of invitation-- around here, everyone gives a check for weddings and gifts for the Bridal Shower.

ediep replied: I never heared of "wishing well wedding" . We had a wishing well at my sisters shower but that was for little gifts, kitchen gadgets and such. I'm sure that is not the same thing.

If I wasn't going to attend the wedding and I wasn't close to the couple, I would prebabaly send $50.

MommyToAshley replied: I've heard of having a wishing well at a wedding reception, but I never heard of it being put on the invitation.

We usually do $100 for wedding gifts, but if you are not close to them and do not plan to attend then I think $25 or $50 should be fine.

kimberley replied: i agree with the others that $50 is enough if you are not planning to attend the wedding. around here $100-$200 is customary for a couple. basically, you pay for your plate and the cost of open bar.

coasterqueen replied: Well for family and very close friends I give $50 to $100 depending on what I can afford at the time AND how much I spend at the bridal shower, lol.

For people I don't know so well I do $30 to $50. I remember when I got married and got money it seemed like the standard given to us was $30 .

DansMom replied: Wow, I'm starting to realize how cheap I am!!!

coasterqueen replied:
LOL! I'm really cheap too for the most part. I found myself spending less on people this year than I had in the past, lol. My friend is getting married at end of September and I'm in her wedding. With all the costs of throwing a bachlorette party, the dress, shoes, slip, hair appt, etc, etc. I spent $75 total on her between her bridal shower gift and her wedding gift.

Course for some reason I don't feel guilty because 7 years ago before I really knew her well she came to my wedding/reception and didn't bring a gift, lol.

My2Beauties replied: We are having a wishing well at our wedding for money, but I certainly am not putting that on the invitation. We generally give between $20-50 as a gift depending on our relationship with the couple...but we live in Ky..so the cost of living down here is pretty cheap! I'm cheap about weddings we always get people picture frames if we give them a gift instead of money! That's so Blah....man I need to be a little more giving since my wedding is coming up

When couples state that it's a wishing well wedding they're basically saying we have everything we need in terms of decorations for our home and kitchen/bathroom gadgets, cookwear etc... we just want money to spend on our honeymoon or for other necessities!!!!! That is sort of how DF and I are, we have everything we need in our house, however, we want some spending money for our honeymoon. We are nonchalantly letting everyone know that we just want money, even if it is just $20, I"m not greedy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Josie83 replied: I have never even heard of that so don't know what advice to give. Americans seem to do everything so much nicer over there than here!! You lot have parties and presents for everything!! xx

ediep replied:
yes, same here! we are in NJ

Alice replied:
Absolutely not!! It's a regional thing-- different parts of the world- and the country just have different customs.

About 20 years ago, one of my friends (a New Yorker who moved to Florida) married a girl from Arkansas- who had also moved to Florida. There were 3 very distinct groups at the wedding-- some dressed in black cocktail dresses some in sundresses and some in jeans And we all had the time of our lives.

Around here, you don't cook for a reception-- you go to a catering hall. There's a cocktail hour and then a 4 hour reception, complete with place cards and frequently a Vienese Hour for dessert. That's just how people around here do it. It's not a value judgement, it's a custom.

(For the record, that same friend and his wife came to NY for my wedding 5 years later. I wouldn't have cared if they had given no gift at all--it was just great to see them!)

So, I guess my points are: 1) you're not cheap!! and 2) I have no right to even be posting here, since I don't have a clue on the answer to your question.