Winding Down - New Bedtime Routine

JadensMama05 wrote: Last night was the first night that we actually accomplished giving Jaden a wind down time. This is what we did: We gave Jaden his last bottle for the evening and talked with him while he ate, with the TV off. Once he was done eating, I changed him into his pajamas and handed him off to Garred. While I was picking up his toys and getting his crib ready, Garred walked around the living room, which we had dimly lit. Garred talked to Jaden, telling him it was time for bed and that the day was over for all of us and we'd have more fun tomorrow. Once I finished my little tasks, I stood by my boys and talked to Jaden and Garred for a few minutes, then we laid Jaden down. And, gasp! He barely made a sound.. He whimpered a little bit but went to sleep pretty quickly. I just had to share, hopefully this will become our new routine and that wasn't just a fluke!

Thanks for all the advie everyone!

KeanusMomma replied: I saw the previous post, and was about to post on there, when I saw this one. I don't know if you still need advice, but in case you do, here goes. The separation anxiety thing sounds accurate. No one likes to sleep alone. Have you considered bringing him to bed with you? DS and I have always coslept--I can't imagine doing it any other way. For more ideas, read The No Cry Sleep Solution. I think it's by Elizabeth Pantley. I LOVED this book because it did not suggest any form of emotionally harmfull "Cry-It-Out" methods. HTH!

holley79 replied: That is awesome. I'm glad you had a good night with it. Those rough nights are tough.

moped replied: How great!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't you love it when a plan comes together???

moped replied:
Sorry, but is it harmful??????????

MyBrownEyedBoy replied:
Ditto to Jen, I have never thought of CIO as emotionally harmful. To each his own.

KeanusMomma replied:

If you were upset and could not speak to communicate your needs, and you were crying in the middle of the night, how would you feel if your spouse walked by your room and ignored your cries? You would continue to cry until you came to the realization that the person who means more to you than anyone else in the world was not going to help you. Then you would stop crying. You would stop crying not because your needs have changed or gone away; no, you stop crying because you feel defeated. It is no different for your child. Yes, crying it out will eventually lead to an uninterrupted night of sleep, but why do the babies stop crying? Is it because their needs no longer exist? No, it is because they have learned that the world is a cold-hearted place and that their parents can't be trusted to meet their needs. Your uninterrupted night of sleep has a high cost indeed.

moped replied:
That is one thought for sure...but I believe in CIO and my baby loves me and sleeps like a log night after night...........

Anyways, everyone has different beliefs

mom2my2cuties replied: I am a believer in Cry it out - My daughter doesn't cry because she wants anything. She goes to bed with a fresh diaper - warm and snug in her own bedroom - with a night light if she gets scared - and a cup of water. So honestly, there is nothing she needs. She tends to get worked up over nothing. And will scream just because she got accusotomed to sleeping with us.

I think it is healthy for kids to know how to soothe themselves to sleep and not have to sleep with mom and dad for that "safety net"


To the OP - I am glad you got your guy to go down easy My girl likes watching a movie in bed. That always helps her relax a little. Lately I get kicked out during bedtime.

KeanusMomma replied: I'm not trying to start an argument over this, forgive me for being off-topic, but CIO *is* harmful. You and your baby can still have a good relationship, but there is plenty of time to learn how to soothe yourself after the baby months. And, how is a baby supposed to soothe him or herself with first being taught? It may seem that a baby needs nothing more than a fresh diaper and a full tummy to fall asleep, but in reality she/he needs love as well. That's just as important as ensuring that the temperature is appropriate and the bedding is safe. Without the knowledge that one is safe and loved, nighttime problems such as fear of the dark, insomnia, and nightmares are prevalent. A child will also become attached to some sort of inanimate object, such as a favourite blanket, instead of the parent, fostering a lifetime of being focused on material objects rather than relationships and people.

moped replied:
No arguement, BUT that is your opinion - CIO is NOT harmful in any way........that is my opinion.
My son gets more love from mom and dad than anything else.....trust me he knows the LOVE

JadensMama05 replied: Wowwy!! First of all, I just wanna say that Jaden has been going to sleep pretty good almost every night since Garred and I have started this routine. He seems to love it when his daddy walks around with him, cuddling and talking. Sometimes he fusses for a few minutes so of course I check on him several times but he's usually asleep within 10-15 min of being put down.
As for this CIO method... I don't know if it's harmful or not but I just can't do it. Hearing Jaden cry like that makes me want to just cry too. I just end up feeling bad.