Will be MIA... not sure how long:) - long explination:(
mummy2girls wrote: Well I will be MIA for quite sometime. not sure how long but this is why...
Emotionally i am a wreck being that this month and next will be a big reminder of my son Jordan:( But i was thrown for the biggest loop ever! Everything was going so well for me and Grant! We even have been physically to each other. And last night was the first time we actually went all the way! well i thought everything was going good but of course im too stupid to figure this out! Grant emailed me and broke it off with me. Why because right now he just wants to focus on him and his son aidan. before he even has a relationship for himself. That Aidan will be going through a tough adjustment in the next couple months so he doesnt want him to meet me. well he met me but emotionally meet me...
Why oh why does this keep happening to me? Why do i put my heart out there to just be stepped on! Am i that ugly? am i that stupid? am i that fat? god im going to eat myself to 300 lbs and you know what i dont care at this point. I have come to the conclusion that i am a fat and ugly peice of pooh that will be alone forever!
So i need to emationally step back away from this board and try to handle evreything that is going to be thrown in my face or already have been thrown at me. i need to take some time to just be with jenna and try to figure things out! So again if you want to just take me away from the mods duty then i understand, expecially in the precious angels one as there is not much mods there. I dont know of what help i will be right now. Again i am sorry to be such a mess!
You guys are the greatest and i will miss you all... now to handle the grief i may get from aron..sigh!
Jamison'smama replied: Oh sweetie, I am so sorry. What an a**. His loss!! I am so very sorry you have to go through this tough time but hang with us when you can and let us support you! Most of us have had some really sucky relationships in the past and we are here for venting!
As far as your precious baby boy, I will be saying prayers for you!
akbutterfly83 replied: I'm sorry that is happening too you....
You are very pretty and smart.... if he don't wanna be with you or he's gunna treat you that way, then you don't need him.... you deserve better....
Take the time you need to heal and think..... we will be waitting here for any support you may need.... or just to talk or tell us what is going on.....
You have been great, the past few months that I have been here and getting to know you..... I will as meny others will, miss you and your little princess......
I hope everything get's better... and please don't listen to what Aron say's.... he left you and that was his mistake..... and he don't know anything....
You have a very beautiful little girl.... and you too are very beautiful..... and don't let anyone tell you differant....
Plus you have your loving parents too.... for help and suppot.....
I give you mad props... I don't know how you do it.... I think I would crack trying to be a single parent.... and working..... you do a good job......
We all will miss you and we all love you much....
Ivy
Emeraldsmom replied: Oh I am so sorry to hear this. That is just terrible that he broke it off now, of all times. Well I can't say I know you that well, but to me you seem like a very kind and special person. Please do not think those terrible things about yourself because they are not true. Grant is the one who is loosing in all of this, if he can not realize what a great person you are. Before I met my husband, I went through some bad relationship problems, and befor I met him I had given up. I thought that I was never going to find my special someone and be alone forever. But then I met my husband. I know you probably have heard this before, but I think you will find the right guy when you are not even looking. But you will find him. Just have fun w/Jenna and know that you are a great person who deserves the best. Good luck and I hope you come back soon. 
amymom replied: Please stay. I hope everything goes ok for you. Don't tell aron anything! Then he won't give you any bad time. 
coasterqueen replied: ((HUGS)) You are not fat or ugly or stupid! You are a beautiful, intelligent person with a wonderful personality. It's Grants loss. Maybe things just went a bit to fast and he realized that and it scared him.
mammag replied: Aw hon, I am soooo sorry you are hurting. I agree with Karen, it sounds like it moved really fast and he got scared. I think it was sucky of him to let it get to the point it did, physically, and then break it off. Men can be such jerks!!!
I will miss you so much. If you ever need to talk we are here for you. Please don't let yourself get too down on yourself. You are a beautiful person, inside and out. It is so easy for us women to take the ending of a relationship on ourselves. If he thought you were ugly he wouldn't have seen you after the first date so you know it's not that.
I hope things get better for you. I wouldn't worry about Aron. In the future I would just keep any personal stuff to yourself as far as Aron is concerned. Then he won't know one way or the other what's going on. I wouldn't even tell him that you are not seeing Grant anymore.....what business is it of his?
Take care of yourself and remember, we all love you and will be thinking of you and praying for you. I know it must be hard to believe as most of us don't really know you IRL but you really are special to us.
Please check in on occasion so that we know you are okay.
Lots of Hugs!!!!!!
Jeanie
mckayleesmom replied: You are not any of those things you said...We love you and miss will miss you...Go take care of yourself...I should march out there and kick Grant in the head...how insensitive is that?
DansMom replied: Wow, I cannot believe he did that. It's definitely his loss, and I'd be pretty angry and upset too. I'm so disappointed for you and for what might have been. What a jerk! If he wasn't ready, he should not have misled you.
Maddie&EthansMom replied: Oh Shelley! I'm so sorry! I'm just shocked! Everything was great....
Please dont' leave the boards. I understand if you need to take some time, but we love you and are here for you. Take this as a learning experience. Every person we date is a learning experience. Take something from it...the good and the bad and focus on finding that right person. He is out there and you will find him.
Alice replied: NO NO NO NO NO!!!!
You're not ugly or stupid or fat... or going to gain 300 lbs!! You are in the midst of one of those horrible periods that people go through.. the kind that are supposed to "make you stronger"  The only people who have their hearts broken are those who put themselves out there and make themselves vulnerable. The alternative is shut yourself off, and that's no kind of life for anyone.
I think you're making the absolutley right choice: to concentrate on yourself and Jenna for a while. Can the two of you get away somewhere-- anywhere-- for a couple of days and play tourist, or just play lazy for a while? Even a Holiday Inn with a pool, or a day or two at the beach might do it. Just a bit of time for the two of you when "real life" can be put on hold for a while and you can eat ice cream (not 300lbs of it) way past her bedtime? If not, can you play tourist in your own town?-- hit the museums and the zoo and do it up? That sort of break from reality always seems to help me.
The best of luck to you as you sort things out. We'll all be thinking of you, and wishing all sorts of horrible things to Grant: 4 flat tires in the midst of rush hour traffic, New neighbors who have 57 cats, a broken AC on the hottest day of the summer.....
Insanemomof3 replied: What a jerk!!!  I hope that everything works out for you. Just concentrate on you and Jenna, that is all that really matters! I wish you would stick around here, for support, but you need to do what you feel is best.
Come back soon!
JessC replied: WOW I thought that everything was ok?! I guess relationships just go like that. I am sooooo sorry, I hope things are better for you, you are definitly NOT NOT fat, you are beautiful and dont let anyone tell you any different. You have to believe in yourself!
I hope you are still around, we all love you much! 
My2Beauties replied: Shelly,
First and foremost you are none of the things you listed! You are actually the very opposite of everything you just said. hon, it's so easy to be down on yourself when things like this happen, but you know, really, it's Grant's loss! He missed out on a wonderful person and a wonderful little girl. I know you're gonna hear this a thousand times, but it's true, I promise! From what I've got to know about you on this board you are one of the strongest people, if you can get through some of the things you've been through, surely, you can get through this! I know it sucks and I know you're down and no one is telling you that you can't be down but don't let it ruin everything else you have going for you!
As for Grant, the piece of insenstive man trash he is, I hope he regrets his decision and comes crawling back only for you to say "you wish buddy" and dance on his misery! Typical man (sorry guys) to let things get to a certain point and break it off, it leaves you feeling used, but don't look at it that way! Chalk it up to experience, dust yourself off and try again! I think you'll find love in a place you least expect it and when you're not looking! I don't understand why guys do these things, but maybe, just maybe, he thought things were going too fast like someone else mentioned and just thought it be best to back off. Whatever was going through his warped mind, I'm sure he'll be wishing he didn't make that mistake later!
Shelly we love you. Take the time you need, but don't forget about us hon! Come back soon. We will miss you and Jenna!
Oh yeah and don't even think about listening to what Loser Aron has to say 
A&A'smommy replied: OMG Shelly I cannot believe he did that too you!!! Men can be so selfish!! You are NOT ugly you are incredibly beautiful in SOOO many ways!!! if you want to talk I will probably be online tomorrow night (((((((BIG HUGS)))))) I wish I could come and hug you right now or call you!!!
ediep replied: oh Shelly! I am so sorry that he did that to you! What a jerk!!!! Take some time to focus on just you and Jenna!!
As for you baby boy Jordan....you will be in my prayers.
JAYMESMOM replied: There is nothing wrong with you. He is the one that misled you when he wasn't ready for a relationship. Take time to take care of yourself and Jenna. It is understandable if you need to step back and take a break but remember everyone is here for support and to listen.
You will make it thru the next two months and even beyond. Don't give up hope. There is a special someone out there for you and who knows it may be Grant and he freaked himself out.
My sisters boyfriend broke up with her for a whole month not long after they were together and came crawling back 1 month later because he realized he really did care for her and wanted to be with her.
Everything will work out.
gr33n3y3z replied: I agree with everyone here
Its not you its him .... maybe things went to fast for him
But he should have been man enough to talk to you and not e-mail you
Take all the time you need
(((((((((((( Hugs ))))))))))
DVFlyer replied: I'm very sorry this relationship didn't work out. I'm sure it will take time to realize you are NOT any of the things you said and that this is just an emotional time for you. You definitely should take time to be with your daughter and focus on how lucky you are to have her.
But........... flame suit on...........
Why is everyone so quick to say what a bad guy this dude is? From what we know, these two met, seemed to hit it off, had some good times and he decided he wasn't ready for a relationship and wanted to focus on him and his son. Why is that so bad? You can't say "because he should have known he didn't want to get into a relationship first" because it doesn't work like that. Guys work differently, we get physically involved first and emotionally next. That's just how we're built. I can only guess you are all assuming he's lying and I don't think that's fair. Of course, he might be, but we only know what we know.
While I don't necessarily agree with breaking up by e-mail, what is he supposed to do when he gets into a relationship, takes it to the next level and wants to get out. A phone call? A meeting in person? The end result is the same. The only difference is in person or on the phone, there is a perception of "control" since you can (sometimes) keep the conversation going. E-mail, there is basically no control. You can send a note back, but will never know if it's read unless there is a return note.
It makes for a bad and unfortunate situation for her (and maybe him) and we've all been there and, yes, it's no fun and hurts, but it doesn't make him a bad person. Just like it wouldn't make her a bad person if, after a while, she decided she wanted to focus on her and her daughter.
Again, I'm sorry you're sad and wish the best for you and your daughter.
mammag replied: Oh good grief! To be honest, I don't think any of us are taking the time to analyze his side of things. And since he doesn't post here and she is our friend....of course we are taking her side of things as how it is. This is how us women tend to comfort another woman who has been disappointed by a man......of course we think he's a jerk, he hurt our friend!
And regardless of whether that's the way "men are built" doesn't make it right to get physical with her and then break it off. It's crappy is what it is! And from things that she has posted he said, he made it seem he was quite serious.
But regardless, myself, I don't give a hoot of his reasoning for doing it but the way it all went down............he's a jerk!
Insanemomof3 replied: Well said Jeanie. I agree.
TANNER'S MOM replied: You know I agree w/ Jeanie!!
When someone hurts women are "built" to nature..and evidently men are "built" to over think every natural response.. I am sorry that was harsh..lol
We have all been there...gave ourselves, to be disappointed in men and ourselves.
Life is hard...why not be there for our friend.. I am sure he was on the phone w/ a buddy saying Dude..it was hard but I had to do it.. and no one is busting his buddy for saying...Man come over I'll buy you a beer????
akbutterfly83 replied: I agree too Jeanie..... I think he's awful for doing it that way.....
Hope things get better for you hun..... you don't need him.... cause you have a beautiful little girl, that loves you for you.....
Kaitlin'smom replied: Oh Shelly I am so sorry things did not work out. You are nothing how you descibed yourself. I know right now its hard not to think that and we tend to think whats wrong with us when things dont work out, but it sounds like he has issues. Take the time you need and come back when your ready. We love and will miss you. If you ever want to escape and you feel like comming to Ohio you have a place to stay  I would love to have you and Jenna around.
And for goodness sake dont bother telling Aron, he does not need ot know and if he does already or finds out dont you mind what he has to say, its not worth listing to.
mummy2girls replied:
Ok im soprry but you dont know the history behind me andgrant. You didnt see how emotionally involved he was with me right from the start. he is the one that said i love you fiorst, he is the one that called me every day and wanted to see me every day after work. You havent read the emails he was sending me through our short realtionship and he was emotionally there before i was. and he even brought up our future of living together and having kids and such before i even brought up that subject. and even asked me what my dream wedding would be. Plus he told me that he wanted his son to be a big part of my life! Now who was emotionally there? And yes he wanted to focus on his son and himself and that i admire BUT he brought up things in the break up email that didnt make sense. stated he didnt want his son meeting anyone yet because he will be going through a tough adjustment in the next 2 months. uhhnnnn we did go tocalgary togthere the 4 of us. and many other things. im not sayying take my side but geez dontpass anything until you know everything....sorry im a bag but im really not in a good frame of moind!
mummy2girls replied:
Im not saying what he is doing is wrong because he does care asbout his son BUT he shouldnt of gotten so emotinally close to me and then physically then know in his head he is nt ready for this at this point! Imsorry i see your side of this all but everyone does not know everything that happened behind it all! plus over and over he would say to me..im not going anywhere i love you and want to be with you. now if he knew in the back of his head he couldnt emotionally do it then why saythose things!
im a bag i know!
Kaitlin'smom replied:
STOP THAT!
dont do that to yourself, make hes a jerk and maybe he got scared either way ITS NOT YOUR FAULT
My2Beauties replied:
 Oh Lord! Glad you finally admitted it to us, you guys are physical first and then emotional later! Finally! I have it in writing!
A&A'smommy replied:
You are NOT and he IS a liar!!!  (((((HUGS)))))
DVFlyer replied: Thank you for giving us more of the story. You're not a bag, you're going through an emotional time and should look to your friends and family for support. You're still the same person you were before any of this happened.
coasterqueen replied: sounds like to me that he just got scared. sounds like the relationship went way too fast from the beginning and maybe he realized it, but obviously not quick enough because you got hurt. i'm sorry for that Shelly. I will have to say at least he did it now and not later, though.
mummy2girls replied:
yes i agree! im glad he did it before it got even more serious!
aspenblue1 replied: I am sorry!
MommyToAshley replied: Shelly, I am sorry I have not been around and didn't know you were going through all of this.
I am sorry to see you hurt like this. I am shocked, I didn't see this coming. Please take the time you need, but remember we are here for you. You don't have to go through the tough times alone, that's what we're here for.
I'll be thinking of sweet Jordan. Have you decided what you are going to do for his birthday. (Sorry if you already posted this, I haven't had time to get caught up on all the posts yet)
You're in my thoughts and prayers.
JAYMESMOM replied: Shelly I am so sorry you are hurting. Hang in there you will be just fine. The right person is out there and one day you will be with him.
|
