Whyyyy???? - I have raised a spoiled Brat!!!

luvbug00 wrote: OMG I'm going to uhhhhhhh Well as you all know I have raised Mya quite liberaly. She has her own TV and has every toy known to man all devided amongst 3 locations ( her room here, her room at Nana's and her room at Grandmas) . I've let her take lessons doing whatever she wants and pretty much let her do ALMOST anything she wants. ( she does have structure on the more important things like manners , ediqute and such) But anyhoo So lately Mya has decided to become ssoooo full of drama! She screams if we don't get her what she wants and is becoming very smart mouthed. Yesterday Brad had to seperate us or I was going to give her the spanking of a lifetime..( I have only had to spank her once in her life) I dunno if she is getting this from her friends at school or what.. She has been acting like she's 14 or somthing with the attitude. I already took her TV out of her room and toys away which accoplishes nothing because she's at nana's house everyday and has those things there in her other room. Does anyone else have any tactics I can use???

PrairieMom replied: I'd suggest you get Nana and grandma involved too. yo have to be a united front, and if she looses privliges one place, she has to loose them everywhere.
Hang in there!

A&A'smommy replied: I have no idea Alyssa gets a warning, then time out and then a spanking if she back talks and so far that works for us. I agree get nana and grandma to do the same thing either that or don't go over there until she starts to act right that is what I would do!

amymom replied: I heard Dr. Laura this morning address this very thing. I don't listen to her very often but must have this morning so I could add to this thread

She said take a piece of paper make a list of five privleges that the child has, like watch tv, play videos etc. Then list around five misbehaviors in a second column. Show the list to the child and (speaking calmly) explain that whenever one of the misbehaviors happens she loses one privelege for 7 days. Then make sure you keep track of those missed priveleges, she said this had to be done 100% (so get Grandmothers involved). She also said don't make a big deal of it, It has to be a problem for her not you. So she told this mother to carry the list with her (her son was screaming in stores when she said no), When she screams then you say, matter of factly, uh... that is a misbehavior on the list so (point to it) then cross off the first privelege like TV and say ok no TV for a week. She said don't argue just be matter of fact, calmly say "well it is on the list."

ammommy replied: All I can say is to stick with it. Remember, it's taken 4 years to develop the attitude, and it will take awhile to break it. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway
In addition to the great advice that you've already received, I would also stop buying her things. I told Alec that he could have no new toys until his birthday because I realized that he had begun to expect things when we went out. That was a big eye opener for me, let me tell you. Good luck, and do get Nana involved too.

moped replied:
I like this a lot

Nikki101 replied: Very interesting information, I too have an almost 4 year old and that is sort of the attitude she has too but the thing is everyone else spoils her not me I can't afford it. Anyways what I found also worked was we did a sticker chart and everytime she did something I asked her too she would get a sticker on her chart. Every time she did something she wasn't suppose to then she would get an ex in a different column. I did the whole reward thing like take her to the dollar store at the end of the week if she had more yes to no's.

Don't know if this will help you, I also sit my daughter down and explain everything to her. My daughter is 3 going on 13, so not cool.

luvbug00 replied: Thanks for the advice... She is still the same and it's day 2 no TV. Maybe it will get worse be fore it get's better you know? I like that Idea Anne thank heavens you listened today! I think my mom will be helpful but Nana is the one doing 98 % of the spoiling and well she's not gonna restrict her little girl. at least she is in her room "reading" and being quiet right now..

amymom replied: Another idea here!
I was talking to my brother last night. He is a wonderful stay at home dad (surprise, surprise ). His 3 year old (3 going on 30) got into trouble a few days ago.... Talking back or something like that. He stripped her room --- everything gone! Just a mattress and a pillow and a sheet. On the fridge is a list of 'privileges' she has to 'earn' back. She was explaining it to me, then he told me about it. But he said it is working quite well. Things that she is earning back .... are her dresser, her jewelry box, her teddy bear, hear headboard, her nightstand, some dress up clothes etc. Anyway... he says he is nipping the balktalk in the bud. And she (who is a very bright and sophisticated young girl) is proud of herself... she told me "I didn't yell at Daddy all day, so tomorrow I can put my bed back together" It seems a bit overdone to me... but my brother says it is working and my neice seems calm about it. Time will tell.

I just wanted to share this, in case it may help you.

BTW-- I have four brothers and this one is the one that gave my parents the MOST trouble, so I guess my parents (up in heaven)are making sure his little girl gets him back for them. But he may be outsmarting them?!?!?

luvbug00 replied: OH GREAT IDEA!!!! I'm using THAT one!!! Thanks sooo much!!

ilovemybaby replied:
That sounds like a Dr Phil Parenting 101 method! I LOVE Dr Phil!

mommy X2 replied: It seems to me that she is running the show not you. Its all well and good to give your child lots of activites and privellges but only when her behaviour is in check.

You say she is a drama queen now and acting like a teenager...just think of what it will be like when she is one. Ilovemybabysuggestion is what i think will work. It may be very hard on you and her.....but if you stop this kind of behaviour now then you will have a much easier time later on

ilovemybaby replied:
Thanks but it wasn't my idea! LOL It was amymom. I was just quoting her.