Whodunnit? - What do you do?

luvmykids wrote: What do you do when someone has done something but everyone is pointing fingers and blaming each other and won't fess up? Over the last week there have been a few instances and I don't know how to handle it ... punish everyone? I can't usually bring myself to do that but today I busted my fanny cleaning for MIL's visit and someone spray painted the hallway with my airbrush-makeup-in-a-can stuff. There was no evidence on anybody and I was spitting nails so they all got sent to their rooms. But it's been bugging me ever since that 2 out of 3 didn't deserve it.

Insanemomof3 replied: I don't know...I have problems with Tristan telling me Demetri does things all the time. I just then say I guess it was the NotMe ghost. The NotMe ghost haunts my house all the time.

kimberley replied: well i would have done the same thing. i do try to get to the bottom of things and find out who actually did it, but if no one fesses up, they are all grounded. it's amazing the honesty that comes out when that happens

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: I agree, nothing wrong with punishing all if no one is admitting to it. I got punished all the time for stuff my brother and sister did, but they got it for me too. And Kimberley is right, that is when the honesty comes out. Or you can try the, if you don't tell me who did it, you all get punished, if you admit you did it, I will be angry, but I will NOT punish you because you were honest. Then again, your kids may be too young for that.

danahas4monkeys replied: We use the same method, someone eventually comes clean! If no one fesses up they all lose a privelege! Almost always someone comes clean or rats someone out lol!

dana

MyBlueEyedBabies replied: I just punish them both...It can usually be assumed they were in on it together anyway

mom21kid2dogs replied: This post brought up so many funny memories of growing up one of 6 kids. We still have a "who cut the cup" controversey 30 years after the fact!! Someone (presumeably one of the oldest 3-4 of us) took a knife and cut the rim off of a tupperware cup. No one fessed up so we all got grounded. After a week, we all individually fessed up to the crime. Out of desparation, my parents ungrounded us but they could never group ground again. We had their number! Poor Mom & Dad! We still argue about who *really* cut the cup.

PrairieMom replied: The other 2 are guilty by association because somone knows what happened, and noone is fessing up! I say punish the whole bunch. Maybe the other two will pressure the guilty one to admit to it!

MomToJade&Jordan replied: I would have done the same thing. This post has me thinking about the time my brother Steven broke a window with a ball and was actually standing there with the bat in his hands and my Dad started to yell at my other brother Billy. See Billy was usually the one who did things like that so my father just assumed it was him. It wasn't funny back then, but we all get a chuckle when we think about it now.

luvmykids replied:
That is too funny! Seriously, my stomach hurts.

Freckled Momma replied: Hey! We have that same ghost...NOTME is one busy person! I can usually tell when the culprit is lying, it's just trying to get them to confess that is the issue Our kids haven't learned to band together yet, they are too busy ratting each other out. But I have punished all of mine together when no one would confess. Then I start my detective work, separate and interrogate Someone usually cracks. So then the guilty party gets a double portion of punishment for lying on top of the crime. And a brief lecture about lying

jem0622 replied: I would punish everyone. Reason being is that they should learn that, no matter what, you must be honest. A 'good citizen' kind of trait is what I'd want to instill. Also, they are lying by not telling what happened...so they have a consequence for lying.

HUGS