What's fair? - need some advice

PrairieMom wrote: In the past 4 months my SIL has sent me 3 boxes of baby clothes that her daughter has grown out of. The first box was about 30 pounds, and the last 2 were about 10 pounds a piece.
I would like to do something nice for them to show how much we apprecieate it but I am not sure what exactly to do.
I am trying to watch my $ so I don't want to go to overboard, yet I don't want them to think we are cheap either.

They live in NC, so I never get to see them, and really don't know her very well, so I don't know what her tastes are. I was going to get her a gift card to somewhere, but I don't really know what stores are in her area, and I don't want to do a Walmart card, I would like it to be something more special. If I jsut write them a check I know they won't cash it.

So, any advice, and what ammount should I try to give them?

Kaitlin'smom replied: how about sending a plant or a basket of goodies?

mckayleesmom replied: How about a big bouqet of flowers with a thank you card.

cameragirl21 replied: ok, i'm a bit cheesy and spiritual but if you don't want to spend a lot of $$ but do want to do something meaningul, this is what i would do, assuming she lives in a house and has a yard.
in NC, they are almost at the time of year to plant bulbs for the spring and i'm an avid gardener and love flowers so of course this would be right up my alley but don't know how you would feel about this.
what i would do is buy her an assortment of different colored tulip and maybe daffodil and hyacinth bulbs from Holland (they are not very expensive and you can get them here already imported from Holland) and maybe put them in a nice basket or something for the purpose of presentation and ask her to plant them before the frost.
When they bloom in the spring in lots of bright, cheerful and vibrant colors, tell her that it's symbolic of the bright future both your children and hers will have and how much sunshine and joy they've brought into your lives.
And tell her that when she looks out at her blooming garden, to think about how much her help (sending the clothes) means to you and that the flowers just sum up how you feel about her and how helpful and nice she's been to you.
It may be a bit of a stretch for some but I can tell you it's vintage Jennifer and when I do stuff like that people usually love it.

mckayleesmom replied: They have cute stuff on www.redenvelope.com also.......Maybe a money tree or some stepping stones....Something cute,

I have been eyeing that money tree for a while.

Crystalina replied: THat is a great idea Jennifer.

One that I do for people who will not take is to make a donation in their name to a charity that they choose. Sometimes they will not say and that one goes straight to the American Cancer Society. Then send them a thank you card with the receipt so it proves you send it.

redchief replied: They're parents, so I know "alone time" isn't very common. I suggest dinner for two at restaurant in their area. Most chains offer on-line gift certificates and you can see about one in their area online too.

cameragirl21 replied: Thanks, Crystal.
And I absolutely love it when people send money to charities in my name, my friends do it for me all the time.

Bee_Kay replied:
That's a wonderful idea!!

ataylorm replied: If none of those work, you can get them a prepaid visa/mastercard gift card. Check out their websites, most banks will issue one, a lot of malls, etc. Then they can use it for anything they want, anywhere. Usually they cost $2-$5

PrairieMom replied: I really love the bulb idea. I wish someone would do that for me! I'm such a girlie girl and my SIL is such a boy. She would way rather be out on the boat fishing or riding her 4 wheeler than working in the garden, so that idea is out.
I like the pre-paid visa gift card idea. I forgot that they made those. that way they can use it for something they need, or splurge, what ever they want. Maybe they will use it to buy more cute clothes for My niece to out grow, so they can send them to me.

Okay, so how much? I would at least like to cover their postage, I have no idea what that ammount would be, but mailing packages aint cheap! Plus I would like to add some for their thoughfulness and trouble.

stella6979 replied:
This was my thought as well. Alot of places offer dinner and a movie deals as well.

Boo&BugsMom replied: I'd have to vote for the dinner gift certificate as well. I love getting money to go out to eat with. I hate cooking to begin with, plus it's nice to go out without kids around.

Crystalina replied: How about an even $100? Not sure if that is too much or not. That is what we usually give as gifts when there is no real connection with the person or we make a donation to someone. We also do it for graduations. It's not awhole lot but also not too little. If you were looking at the dinner though (depending on where they decide to eat) that may be too much. $100 doesn't stretch too far nowadays.

PrairieMom replied:
Thats what I was thinking too. They probaby spent at least 50 on shipping all that stuff, so but if the tables were turned and they gave me $100. It would make me feel super wierd. Maybe I can give it to them and not mention how much is on the card so they can be suprised.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Personally, being that I am assuming they don't "expect" anything in return, anything you send them will I am sure be appreciated!

coasterqueen replied: What about something more to do with the kids, like a photo album/scrapbook with the kids pics in it?

C&K*s Mommie replied: Around here (not sure about other states) but our Simon owned malls have the Visa debit/gift cards that are pink, called Pink Ribbon gc's- and for every card that is purchased a portion of the money goes to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. Just an idea to support a worthy cause, and still get the use of a debit/gift card.

ETA: $100 sounds great too.