What would you do?? - *long winded*

grapfruit wrote: My bf's youngest brother (18)'s girlfriend is pregnant. Now mind you they're not the most responsible or mature people. They have HUGE issues w/money (like can't save it or spend it on worthwhile stuff). Let me explain...

His parents were letting her live at their house (from Easter last year until this March) b/c she was living in a rental her mom owned, and he mom kicked her out while she was still in school. She apparently became pregnant in Jan, and like I said moved to an apartment in March. She had to ask for May's rent from his parents, and we're waiting to see if she'll have June's. (I'm skeptical)

When they first moved out (yes he moved out w/her), we (my bf and I) took them grocery shopping so they could "stock up". She is typically eats all fast food, and if that's my neice or nephew she's carrying, I don't want her eating junk, KWIM? So we spent about $235 for them. It should have lasted them a while. BTW, he doesn't work, and she works 35 hrs a week @ ($7.5/hr)

So far that means they've "borrowed" $465 from his parents and $235 from us.

That's all fine and dandy. Here's what makes me mad. After "borrowing" that money (she said she'd pay it back...) her and Scott went out and got matching tatoos (remember, she's pregnant), birds, a hamster, and a gym membership...What the heck?!?!?! How do you have money for all this stuff, and not money to buy food, or for your rent?!?

THEN she calls yesterday and wants to know when we're having her babyshower. At this point, I'm so close to telling her that I don't want to do one for her. Even more, she's been saying bizarre stuff to people that I know. Kind of talking crap, KWIM?

So my point. Would you sit down and be like, "Hey, you need to chill your spending habits and running your mouth about me to my friends" or just play nice and keep the peace?

grapfruit replied: Oh, forgot to add that there's a chance it's not my bf's brother's child. She apparently "messed around" w/her ex in Jan...

Cece00 replied: If I were you, I would just not give her any more money. And I would tell her you dont appreciate her running her mouth to ppl. And then I would leave it at that.

luvbug00 replied: ITA with above. since you don't know who's child it is i say hult the money until paternity is determind. I know it sounds harsh but you may be spending all this money on another mans child. if it's fine with your bother then let HIM deal with it.

grapfruit replied: OH trust me, there will be NO more money going her way. My bf is not happy w/all the news and has stated that if the baby is his brother's, he'll buy diapers or formula if absolutley neccessary, but that's it. He said he didnt' care if they starved, just not the baby.

Question: since Scott is 18 is he the only one that can request paternaty?? Problem there is that he thinks her poop doesn't stink, it's his first girlfriend and he's entranced by her...I know his parents want a paternaty test, but I think she can convince him to say, "no".

Kaitlin'smom replied: yep NO more funds for them, see if they were at all responsible helping out is one thing but since they only spend there money on what they want and not need nope no more. also if were me I would not hold a shower for her, 1 she is being rude not only with running her mouth but almost demanding when you holding it 2 it might not be you BF's brothers, I would tell her once we know its his we will buy something for the baby but not till then, but thats just me. She really is pg right not just saying so? hate to ask that....

luvbug00 replied:

i believe so. but you remind scott unless he wats to be shelling out child support for the next 18 years ( because since it's his first gf their chances of making it are VERY slim and since she is so young he can bet his hinnie money will be the first thing on her mind when they split. ) he better find out if the baby is his or not. And i do mean PAY $$$$$! good luk and i hope somone gets threw to him.

grapfruit replied:
Oh she is, she's had a few ultrasounds....(and Scott's mom went to one)

This sounds horrible, but I think she "trapped" him...I asked her why they didn't use birth control, or condoms. And she laughed (literally) and said they did for 2 weeks and then they decided to just stop using them. (arg!)

grapfruit replied:
Oh ITA (as does the rest of his family) They fight NON STOP over the stupidest things. Like she was talking to me and said something was happening on the 6th, he thought she said 5th and they argued for 5 minutes over what day she said. They only stopped b/c I threatened to pull the car over and make them walk home!


And that sounds like a good idea, not doing anything until we're SURE it's Scott's baby...

Kaitlin'smom replied:
she might have I know of someone who did that to a friend of mine, its terrible and I woudl deffinalty not offer anything else till you know its his baby, cause she coudl be trapping him and its not even his

luvbug00 replied:

yep she soooo trapped him but he can and NEEDS to protect himself right now until proof shows it's his. what a . kinda makes me think of me and brad though..i was his first intamite contact (we were just plain dumb though) and look where we ended up ( actually I'm fine but he is on the brink of needing an intervention. )

MyBabeMaddie replied: I would give them a shot, at least you and your boyfriend sit down with them tell it like it is, tell them they are not going to be able to provide for this baby if they are wasting their money on birds, hamsters, etc... If after you guys talk to them they can't/won't change I wouldn't worry about it I'm sure you have enough of your own things to worry about.

grapfruit replied: It just irritates me b/c she's SO irrisponsible!!! (whoa I think that spelling was way off)

I mean she got a tat too! (I'm NOT dogging tats, I have one too, but I wasn't pregnant when I got one). I just think that when there's a little person growing inside of you, depending on you, you probably shouldn't be STICKING NEEDLES into your body on PURPOSE!!!

Thanks you guys, Cyndi (my SIL) and I B*@#%$ about it all the time, but sometimes we need outside people to vent too...

We're just feeling kind of used, I mean all this stuff is coming out and she totally expects us to throw this lavish baby shower for her....

momtoMegan&Alyxandria replied: I am also part of the family and ITA. I think she did it to trap him too. There are soooo many other parts to the story too. Like in the beginning of their relationship she went up to my sil and said, "do you remember me? I am going to be your sil one day" That was after meeting her one time and her and Scott hadn't been dating long. Also when she messed around with her ex it was because Scott got a little wise and broke up with her because he liked someone else. So if they were broke up, why did they have sex? And was the sex before or after she messed around with her ex. They didn't get back "together" until the end of Jan beginning of Feb. and the ultrasound puts the conception at mid Jan. based on fetus size. We are both sooooo angry at her. I am suppose to be arranging the baby shower with Casey and I am at the point I just want to say forget it. She is unappreciative and demanding. She told us that she wanted to have the baby shower the end of July beginning of Aug. "Hello, you aren't due until Oct. 6" is what I wanted to say. And that only gives a 2 week time frame. Well guess what she is out of luck, our schedules don't permit until 9/8. Sorry to her. Sorry I had to vent.

momtoMegan&Alyxandria replied:
I tried talking to her and all she was get defensive, claim she was making good money and they could afford it. Then she got p*ssed and said she had to go. That was 2 weeks ago and she isn't talking to me. I guess good for me. But oh I just want to shake some sense into her. AND HIM!!!