What would you do? - Honestly...

mummy2girls wrote: Ok remember my scenerios about that little boy in my dayhome.. the one where the boyfriend spanked him for pooping on the floor, and where he gets spanked and put in time out for peeing or pooping in pullup? I was feeling really ill about all those things and something happened this morning that is making me want to call the agency and have them contact childrens protective services... The mom dropped the boy off and then she says if you notice something on his bumb on his left cheek. She told me that when the boyfriend spanked him he actually cut the skin with his hands. Which i believe because this guy is big and his hands huge. If you know and have seen pictures of Aron he is that size. he has the same body build. And i have meet him once. So when she left i checked his bumb and its a small cut about 2 inches long and a red mark. it looks sore:( The boy hasnt complained of the cut but it does look owie!

You know guys as im writing this im getting a twisted feeling in my tummy when i think of it... i am going to call. I will tell the agency that if they feel the need to call child services they will and can call me for questions BUT to the mom i want it to be where they dont tell the mom i was behind it all. Because she is one of these moms that will blame it on me and accuse me of something else.

What would you do?

I still cant believe this mom lets this man spank. And i got it wrong she has been dateing this man off and on for 7 months... BUT still no way no how would i let Marcus!!!!!! And being a mom if my boyfriend spanked my child and left a cut and mark that man would be out the door and i would get aron after his butt for hitting his daughter... NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DansMom replied: You're doing the right thing. I do think it's a scary thing to do---one fears retaliation. I can't think of a worse position to be in. It's clear from your description that this man crosses the line into abuse. It's hard to believe that anyone gets spanked for potty accidents, but if this guy is leaving a mark like that, he's a menace. It will just get worse for that kid if you don't intervene.

mummy2girls replied:
i know...

lovemy2 replied: I would call RIGHT AWAY - I know here in the US a childcare worker is a mandated reporter - not sure if its that way there or not but I would have to call just to know that in the end I did all I could - that poor child - I can understand how you feel but IMO its your DUTY to call.....

grapfruit replied: That poor little boy!

I think you know what you HAVE to do for this boy (sounds like it at least). He is DEFINATLY being abused, and it seems to be getting worse. You are the person that God, Fate, Destiny whatever you want to call it, put in his path to help him. It sounds silly, but think if you weren't in a place to intervene...

You're right to be worry about the mom if you think she'll try and turn the tides. But being on here I KNOW you are a good sound person and can rise above it all.

Make that tough call and know that you did the right thing.

mummy2girls replied:
i know.. im sure here too... im calling

Jamison'smama replied: Do you have to go through the agency and have them call or can you call directly? It seems you would be able to answer the questions and give more information if you called them yourselr.

lovemy2 replied: Just an aside - can you go back and write down the conversations you have had with this child, the dates, times, etc. and I would take a picture of him today - of his bum- I know it sounds wierd but I would make sure you have some documented proof - might be hard to do without the child being confused as to why you are taking the picture - or maybe ask the agency if you should do that or if they do....? I don't know but to protect yourself -

my2monkeyboys replied: At first I wasn't so sure about you calling, since spanking isn't abuse, regardless of whether the person doing it is someone you'd approve of or not (for someone else's kid, that is). However, since there was a cut left on him it is abuse now. Good luck making that call... I hope they step in quickly. It seems like maybe the mother wanted to make sure you saw it and knew what it was from... possibly she's hoping you'll call?? Surely she wouldn't tell you how it got there if she thought it was ok.
Anyway, good luck to you and the little boy, especially!!

Calimama replied: I definitely think you're doing the right thing hun.

My2Beauties replied: Shelly you're doing the right thing, to spank a child so hard and leave a cut or bruise is definitely child abuse! Good luck hon, you may have a hard road ahead because I'm sure they'll ask you questions. KUP.

Boo&BugsMom replied: I am pro-spanking, but I would also call someone. Leaving a mark is not ok.

grapfruit replied:
ITA

Leaving marks or spanking for absurd things is not ok. (and I'm pro-spanking as well)

A&A'smommy replied:
I'm also pro-spanking.. and I agree who she allows to spank her child is not abuse (although IMO I think she is crazy for allowing him to spank her child) BUT leaving a mark is definitely abuse, and its definitely getting worse and will probably continue to get worse. I would probably call and make it an anonymous call

avory&samsmom replied: I'm in agreement with all....You're doing the right thing.

redchief replied: That's going too far. Shelly, I think you have a social responsibility to pass on this information, and that is your absolutely ironclad reason, whether the mother blames you or not. I'm sorry you're stuck in the middle, but I'm glad the child has a benefactor.

moped replied: Follow your gut instinct and call!

msoulz replied: ITA - your "gut" is backed with experience, do follow it!! I am not one to spank although I don't see a pat on the bum as being particularly harmful. That tolerance ends when the child is physically harmed and a cut inflicted by a spanking is way over the line.

I am surprised she told you this. He could just have easily cut himself by falling onto something. I wonder if she is looking for someone to help her get away from this boyfriend? It's probaby a stretch, but normally don't people try to keep injuries that were inflicted by adults to themselves? Perhaps reporting this will give her and the baby an escape.

Regardless, I do not envy you but it's better to do what you think is right and take some flack than to find out something awful happened to the child and then you'd feel like you could have prevented it. I sure hope it works out OK for you - and the boy too of course.

MommyToAshley replied: OMG... how do you leave a cut with just your hand? That poor kiddo.

I agree, you are obligated to call. And, I wouldn't go through your work, I would call them directly.