What to do when they won't eat??

amynicole21 wrote: We've been running into this problem more and more. Some nights, Sophia will NOT, under any circumstances, eat what we put in front of her for dinner. Last night we made lasagna - just noodles, meat, cheese and sauce. She freaked out and wouldn't eat it. Rather than have her starve, we microwaved a kids meal of spaghetti (noodles, meat, cheese and sauce) which she ate with gusto I know we shouldn't get in the habit of making her something else when she refuses to eat, but I feel like she's too young to understand why we won't feed her. We can't reason with her yet, and she basically just screams until she throws up if you don't give her something else. What should we do?

DansMom replied: This is a toughie. My nephew is now six, and still has special meals made for him. I have the family over for dinner, and my sister brings along a peanut butter sandwich just in case he doesn't want to eat what I'm making (he usually doesn't). I am judgmental about this---on the other hand, Daniel is about to drop off the weight charts, and I'll feed him whatever he wants right now and not force anything he doesn't want. My main goal is to keep him eating right now. I don't know when to change that approach so that I don't end up with a six year old who only eats PB and J! My nephew is a wonderful, polite, smart and empathetic boy---just a picky eater. I want Daniel to be more flexible at that age about food.

~CrazieMama~ replied: Oh boy do I know how you feel. Brianna does this almost every night. There are days that she barely eats anything because she just does not want to eat. It can be something she totally loves too. It takes alot of patience. Welcome to toddlerhood...lol This can last for years too. Tyler is 8 1/2 and he is rather fussy about his food too. Sometimes he eats like a pig and other times, he won't eat a thing. That is just how kids are. But I don't make them eat the food....that is usually how eating disorders are caused. But then again, I am not a doctor so really, that is my opinion. I hope this helped, if not, maybe it helped someone else.

kimberley replied: james is the same way. as long as what they want is healthy it is better that they eat something. meal time should never be a battle ground or you both lose in the end with eating problems. kids are the exact opposite of convenient but we still love em lol

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Well, I am and have always been a picky eater. Maddie takes after me. It drives DH crazy sometimes b/c I will make her something else for dinner. A lot of times though, she won't even eat that. I just take it as she isn't hungry. Lately if she is hungry she will eat what we have and whatever I put on her plate. Which is a big step for her. She didn't eat at all when she was Sophia's age. I wouldn't necessarily be concerned at this point about her forming a habit of it. She will be fine. Just always offer her what you guys are eating first.

coasterqueen replied: Well, we sometimes cater our meals by making what we know she will eat, but there are times even then that she will refuse to eat what we make and then we have to fix her something else. And there are nights when she absolutely refuses to eat anything but peaches. Silly kid!

I don't have an answer for you, just do what feels right I guess. I think for now we will continue to do what we are doing and maybe she might grow out of this and we won't have anything to worry about, or maybe we will. Who knows

jcc64 replied: Amy,
You know I have older kids, and Corey is a very poor eater, so I have a lot of experience on this issue. I know it's difficult to watch your kid not eat, and I don't think the solution is to be a hardass about mealtime. But Sophia is definitely approaching the age where she will begin experimenting with how much control she can grab for herself, and there are no more opportunites than at mealtime. So, you need to be aware of the potential for this to turn Sophia into one of those kids that won't eat her bagel unless the cream cheese is applied in counterclockwise concentric circles, kwim? What's worked for us is to offer a nice variety of healthy choices, at least one of which you know she definitely likes, and then that's it. If she doesn't eat, she'll catch up at the next meal. Or the one after that. I think you'd be amazed at how little they actually need to survive.

jem0622 replied: Nathan and Gabe get one thing for dinner, and DH and me get something else. At least I know they will eat. Some nights we are all eating the same thing b/c I know that the boys will eat what we are having...but it avoids a lot of frustration for me.

Now, if Nathan refuses his food (that I planned on for both of them) then he is told that this is his dinner and that's it. I might feed him a yogurt or fruit before bed if he just flat out refuses...but I hold out a while to make my point clear. He's four.

Remember that they can survive off of tablespoons a day. So if she isn't scarfing down food then don't fret. But it might save your sanity to just have foods on hand that she likes. This also helps when our friends are over b/c their kids are picky at times and I feel like pulling my hair out!

DansMom replied: These replies have helped me a lot! Thanks everybody.

MommyToAshley replied: Ashley eats anything and just about everything. But, there have been times when she will ask for something else. I don't know if you remember my post that she refused her oatmeal (which she normally loves) and asked for an egg. The other day, she asked for cheese and carrots... which luckily was before I made her lunch. I was hesitant to get into the habit of making her something other than what we are having, but I also wanted her to eat. I don't remember who said it, but someone here said something that stuck with me.... it was that kids get cravings too, just like we do. So, I have started asking Ashley what she wants, when I can. For example, if I am making a veggie with dinner, I will ask her if she wants carrots or green beans. It has helped some, but every once in a while, she will ask for something different.

Good Luck, I hope you take some comfort in knowing that we are all going through something similar.

ediep replied: Jason never eats what we are eating, especially since DH is on south beach diet. Jason usually eats chicken (perdue breaded cutlets), carrots (baby carrots boiled), pasta with butter or mac and cheese for dinner. HE does like fruit so I can also give him apple, bannana, or pear.

One thing I try to do is offer new things along side of something that I know he'll like. Like last night I gave him peas and string beans with his chicken and pasta. I don't think he tried more than one bite though. I once tried giving him something new without the farmilar food, and he had a meltdown! I mean he freaked out!!! I had given him broccoli mixed with mac and cheese. Every piece of mac had a bit of green from the broccoli and he was probabaly thinking....you ruined my favorite food! I ended up having to take him out of the high chair to calm him down, wash the tray and start him out with a piece of munster cheese (his all time favorite) the make him some pasta with butter.

One sneaky thing I have tried that worked was to buy frozen butternut squash and microwave and puree it and mix it with some mac and cheese. He can't even taste it but he is getting some different veggies.

My nephew is 11 and he never eats what my sister makes for dinner. He hasn't eaten meat since he is 18months. He eats pizza, macaroni, bagels, peanut butter and jelly, cheese, cereal,.....she still fights with him to get him to eat veggies. Besides his eating habits he is an amazing kid!! He is so sweet, incredibly smart, athletic...I guess I try not to worry about Jason eating because I know that Mikey has turned out so well

Surfing replied: I've been going thru this with my two year old son. As he can talk pretty good and say what he wants then a few times a week I let HIM pick what we're having for dinner. He feels more 'grown up' and more a part of things that way.

I also let him 'help' make supper too. Just little things like pouring milk into a measuring cup, opening the drawers for me if I need something. If it's just a spoon I'll point out which one I want and he gets it. He's allowed to stir as long as it's something cold, or only a little warm. He likes to get out the pots and pans I need.... and a LOT I don't need....

But he doesn't seem to be quite as picky as he was before. We've actually been able to introduce him to quite a few new foods. Most he even trys, like the dried Mango fruit. I didn't think he'd like that at all, but he just loves it! We got some new kinds of jam so he's not always getting strawberry or raspberry all the time. He seems most fond of the multi kind ones, but his fav right now is Apricot. He loves his apples, doesn't like oranges much but will eat tangerines... lol. Strange child...

natjasem replied: Oh, the joys of feeding picky eaters! Emma pretty much lives on mashed potatoes and avocado. She'll eat baby food fruit still, but really prefers potatoes. Just as long as she eats I'm okay with it for now since she's so little. I don't know what I'll do in the future, but I'm not concerned right now.

Daddy of Schnoogly replied: I read an article about this recently, and this is what it said to do toddlers:

1) Make sure the whole family eats together.

2) Put the food you want to eat in front of him. If he doesn't eat now and then, if he's up to normal weight, it won't hurt.

3) Don't pressure him to eat, just keep eating in front of him. Don't talk about food, just talk about your day or whatever.

4) If he fusses and won't stay in his chair, put him down and let him play quietly nearby.

Supposedly, he's supposed to realize in a few days that sitting and eating with you is more interesting than not. I can't really vouch for how well this works. Every since Iain finally started eating, we haven't had a lot of trouble getting him to TRY stuff. It's just that he doesn't eat enough of it.