What are ytou telling your kids - about The shootings?

PrairieMom wrote: This morning Ben was watching the news with me and noticed that things had a sad tone to them. He asked me what happened. I had a hard time figuring out what to tell him. I don't want him to be scared, he can't understand what is going on.

The thought of having explain something so horrible and scary to my son actually brought tears to my eyes, which actually sort of freaked him out.

I finally ended up telling him that a scary bad man came to where those people live far away and hurt them, so now they are sad. The police got the bad man tho, so now everything is okay. I really don't think I handled it very well.

lisar replied: I think you told him better than I could have. I would have told Lexi the same thing if she asks.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: I haven't.

We don't watch the news really.... so they haven't seen or heard anything about it.

If Zach hears about it at school though, I'll tell him that sometimes bad things happen, and it's part of the Circle of Life. That that's why when teachers, doctors, police or parents say something, we have to listen and it's very important, because they have to try to keep us safe, and the easiest way for them to keep us safe is for us to listen well when they say something.

coasterqueen replied: I haven't either because we make it a habit of not watching the news when the girls are around or we turn it off when things like that are broadcasted. We started doing that when the war was starting and horrible graphics filled the tv all the time - still do If Kylie asks I'm not sure what I'll say.

mom21kid2dogs replied: We don't watch the news while she is home nor do we discuss things like this in front of her. I was at the school Mass today, however, and the had a prayer intention for the VT students & staff, so she'll likely ask tonight.

jcc64 replied: Well, my kids are older, and they've been discussing it at school, and if they bring it up, I believe it's because they're looking for some help processing it. I talked about the lockdowns they are always practicing at school, and that they are just for situations like this, rare as they are. I spoke about empathy for everyone involved, including the perpetrator. I emphasized the importance of seeking out help when you're sad or lonely or feel your problems have become too big for you to handle alone. That you're NEVER alone or without resources, that there is no problem that can't be solved with the proper interventions. Stuff like that.
Knowing a little bit about the family dynamics of first generation Koreans, I can share that there is not alot of emphasis put on expression of feelings or difficult emotions. There is also often a tendency to put achievement and success, including academic superiority and material acquisitions, above personal satisfaction. There is no room for failure in many of these families, and mental health issues are not dealt with candidly, if at all. I'm sure this kid suffered a tremendous amount of isolation and despair, and it's sad he couldn't find his way out of it, and felt the need to take eveyone around him down with him. Sad sad sad.

Calimama replied: I think you handled it well.

redchief replied:
I think those recommendations can be used for any age group.

Katie asked how come this event was taking up the whole newscast when the deaths of 35 Iraqis at the hands of a car bomber the other day was only worth a passing mention. She had a point I couldn't counter except in unacceptable terms. I finally told her that, while it's certainly not fair to devalue the lives of the Iraqis who have died, it's natural that our media would see the deaths of so many Americans on American soil to be more newsworthy. I had a bad taste in my mouth when I was finished saying it.

jcc64 replied: Out of the mouths of babes, right, Ed??

Btw- I'm sorry I haven't yet responded to your last pm- totally totally overwhelmed by my work.

redchief replied:
When she was a baby I don't think she would have drawn such a conclusion... I'm not sure she would have listened that intently. Now that she's older and more worldly I'm sure it's going to be more than difficult to assure her I can always keep her from harm. Worse, I can't. Superdad loses another fan.

PS. No worries on the other. You and I are always OK, Jeanne.

Crystalina replied: I no longer use Dishnetwork so my kids do not know about it. I watch the videos on MSNBC and use the earbuds so they don't even hear.

booey2 replied: The boys really haven't asked about this yet but we will answer as truthfully as we can if they do. Now when 9-11 happened Matthew had a ton of questions because he was at the sitters for half days and she had it on the TV a lot. So we just dealt with it slowly and only answered questions and didn't offer much else.

eta: We also don't watch much news when they are around, heck I don't watch the news at the best of times, find it way to depressing on a day to day basis. I rely on DH to tell my if there is something major going on as he reads the newspaper religiously every morning before going to work.

holley79 replied: Fortunately Annika is too young but we have gotten calls here at the SO wanting to know how to tell their kids. That has been the issue this week.

hopefulmomtobe replied: My children are older, but if they do ask then I do tell them the truth, I just brush over it a little lighter if you know what I mean.

My 15 year old brain boy loves the news and worldly events...I should be the one asking him questions!

luvmykids replied: They don't know about it. I only watch the news after they're in bed. But if I had to explain it I'd just say a very bad man did something that hurt a lot of people.

My3LilMonkeys replied: My kids don't like to watch "mommy tv" so they don't know anything about it. Honestly if Brooke asked I don't know what I'd tell her - she's very sensitive and no matter what I said it would probably scare her.