What am I gona do with this child

lisar wrote: Okay so this morning Raygen had to go to daycare actual daycare not granny;s house. So ofcourse she didnt want to go she never does she pitches a tee total fit the entire way there. So she decided she was gona pee in her pants. She says " Momma I peed in my pants, you have to take me to Granny's." At this point I have no extra clothes on me cause she hasnt had an accident in months. And I was NOT taking her to Granny's to reward it. So I went by the dollar store that is right beside her daycare and got her a new outfit and some new panties. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can get her to go to daycare without all the fuss??

Jason's Papa replied: I find that prepping a kid for something they don't want to do works pretty well. The night before i might say, "Jason, remember you're going to day care tomorrow. And no tantrums, ok? You're a big boy..." Then in the morning, "Jason, remember, you have to go to day care today..." Then about 15 minutes before you leave, remind them again. He responds much better to that then when something is sprung on him that he wasn't expecting.

jcc64 replied: I think Jason's Papa's advice is good, but I'd also be asking why she hates daycare so much.

lisar replied:
That dont work. We will pump her up and have her thinking it was all her idea to go to begin with and it never fails she will SCREAM!!! I always start the day before telling her that she is going to "school" and then it starts and it doesnt stop till I drop her off literally. I told her yesterday at 4:30pm that she would be going and it didnt stop crying about it till I dropped her off. And I have to leave her there crying. They all say that she stops as soon as I am gone. Which I know she does.

lisar replied:
She hates daycare so much because she is almost 4 and she has always been with either me or Granny. So the transition is hard on her. Although they do cater to her. I call and check on her about every 2 hours. When all the kids have to take a nap they don't make her unless she wants to, they let her go and play with the babies while all the other kids her age have to take a nap. And when she is in a bad mood one lady will take her outside and let her play or something to help keep her mind off me. Its not a bad place at all so I know that's not her problem. My best friends kid also goes there and he LOVES it.

DVFlyer replied: In my other life, I dropped my girlfriend's child off at daycare. At first, it was very hard. She would scream and cry. The daycare teachers just told me to leave... "It's ok".

She eventually came to love it there.

If this is going to be an ongoing thing, I think she'll also get used to it.... otherwise, it may be a battle for a long time.

One thing I just thought of is perhaps you can give her a job that needs to be done at daycare. For instance, go to the dollar store and get a few cheap teddy bears or "whatever" and say, "Raygen, the babies at daycare are very sad because they are away from their mommies and don't have teddy bears to sleep with. I bought these last night. Can you take them to the babies and tell them they don't have to be sad anymore."

Something to that effect. She could draw them pictures or anything that will give going to daycare a purpose.

Otherwise, see my signature.

moped replied:
I was going to say Persistance!!!!!!

DVFlyer replied:
Great minds think alike.

boyohboyohboy replied: Lisa, what an amazing amount of patience you must have had to have this morning!


I think you are right she is just used to you and granny and she is really really smart to think that what she does might get her back where she wants to go..
what if you rewarded her with if she is good at daycare or getting to daycare then she can go to granny's on the next day, she doesnt have to know that its her normal day there! would that work or does she know her days she is there?
or what if granny could pick her up as her reward?

lisar replied:
Yeap we tried that also. It didnt work either. Thats why I am at a loss.

lisar replied:
The teddy bear thing isnt a bad idea. I am going to try that next week and see how it goes. The thing is she only goes once a week. Which I think is harder on her.

boyohboyohboy replied:
do you think maybe hanging a calender in her room and circle the days or let her put stickers on the days she is going?
or what about her going more then one day a week?
is that possible?

redchief replied: I like what I've read before. Does she go to "school" every day? If not, is it possible to have her do this, at least for a couple of hours each day? The reason I ask is that kids embrace routine. School, whether it be organized daycare or nursery school is a lot more regimented than mommy and Granny, and this may be just what she's resisting. That's just my two cents.