Well, here we go again

Boys r us wrote: I woke up yesterday morning about 4am for what I thought was going to be a quick trip to pee and then back to bed. Got to the batheroom only to find a LOT of bright red blood on the TP. I tried to tell myself it was okay, it was just spotting. But within an hour it was really heavy and so I spent the majority of the the day yesterday in the hospital. They did several tests with my blood and also used a catheter to collect urine for tests(I guess to keep the sample from being contaminated by the blood). HCG levels were really low and they also found that I have a really bad bladder and kidney infection. I knew something was wrong from the beginning with this one b/c I never felt bad . I had a little bit of queasiness one day and I tried to convince myself that this was just going to be a good and easy pregnancy, but in the back of my head, I knew something wasn't right.

Rick and I are both really sad about it, but I don't know if we'll try again to be honest. 2 miscarriages in less than 6 months. It just makes me wonder what is going on...what's not right. of course I've racked my brain with all of the things I have done that could have caused it, like 2 days before I found out I was PG I took an Immitrex Injection for a migraine. I also wonder if the infection I have could have had anything to do with it. I obviously don't know any of the answers, but I do know I just don't think I can go through this again. The hardest part was yesterday when I came home, I was laying on the couch and Rick was there beside me and Braedon came over and patted my belly and said, "mommy, where's my baby sister(he called the baby his sister b/c his cousin just had a sister) and Rick and I just looked at each other and whew.. that was hard.

Anyhow, I'm taking a few days off from work, I need some me time and I'm having really bad back pain too. I'm so angry right now, I haven't even had a chance to be sad, just so angry! I'm rambling.

coasterqueen replied: I am so sorry Nichole.

kayla's mama replied: Oh Nichole I am so sorry about your loss. My heart is breaking reading your post. Wish I could give you a hug in person I am praying for you and your DH that the Lord give you strength. Take it easy on your me time.

Insanemomof3 replied: I am so sorry Nichole.

Kaitlin'smom replied: oh Nichole I am so sorry.

amymom replied: Nichole I am so so sorry.

moped replied: Oh Nichole, I am truly sorry to hear this. I hope you feel better soon, we are always here for you - HUGS

Sarah&Mackenzie replied: I am so sorry

amynicole21 replied: I'm so very sorry.

jcc64 replied: Tbh, Nichole, when I didn't see you for a few days, I got concerned. I'm really very sorry- it's really hard to digest such major emotional swings- first the elation of being pg, and all the thoughts that go with that, and then the devastation of the loss. It's just alot for anyone to endure, emotionally. Just know that we're here for you, alot of us have been through it, and you'll be ok too, eventually. In the meantime, thank god you have such a supportive dh by your side.

My2Beauties replied: Nichole I honestly don't know what to say I am so sorry and I know you were so excited and we were so excited for you. There is nothing we can say to make this easier on you but know we're here for you, if you need me call me or send me a PM. I am here for you hon! I am so sorry!


Edited for spelling

luvbug00 replied: I'm so sorry for your loss My thoughts are with you!

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I'm so sorry Nichole.

gr33n3y3z replied:
So sorry to hear

Jamison'smama replied: Devastating news--so very sorry for your loss---hugs and prayers

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Sometimes I am so bad with words. Sorry doesn't seem to cut it in times like this. But I am sorry, Nichole. ((Hugs)) to you and your family in this difficult time.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I'm so sorry sweetie. I hope you get some well deserved me time.

luvmykids replied: You're in my thoughts.

kimberley replied: i am sorry for your loss. don't blame yourself, these things are beyond our control and dr's understanding. hug those sweet boys of yours.

jem0622 replied: (((HUGS))) I am so sorry.

Have you had progesterone checked? Clotting disorders? There is so much that could be going on and if you knew what was going on then you could take meds, supplements, etc. to counter-effect what is causing your losses.

Just trying to give you some things to think about. I dug in deep on research when I lost my angel just after 14 wks and learned a lot.

aspenblue1 replied: I am so sorry Nicole.

huggybugboy replied: I am so sorry Nichole. We'll be praying for you. Hope you get some much needed rest these next few days.

My3LilMonkeys replied:

PrairieMom replied:

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Nichole I'm so sorry. My heart is aching for you right now. Please know you are in my prayers, hun.

5littleladies replied:

PhiMuMommy replied: i'm very sorry to hear this. maybe you should rest and then try again in a year or so? my friend had 4 miscarrages from sept through now.. and i know how hard they are on people. i couldn't imagine having to go through it myself. my heart goes out to you.

Mommy2BAK replied: Nichole... I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my heart and in my prayers. I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you, we are all here for you!

ediep replied: so so so sorry Nichole, I have been thinkng about you this week since I hadn't seen you on the boards much

My heart aches for you and your family.

I am here for you anytime you need!

(((((hugs))))) 50 million times!

Mom2Boyz replied: OH No Nichole, I am soooo sorry to hear this Hang in there girl ((((HUGS)))) we're all here for you.

CosmetologyMommy replied: I am so sorry. You are in my thoughts abd prayers.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:

MommyToAshley replied:
Oh Nicole, I am so sorry.

I lost it when I read about Braedon patting your belly. Sending lots of prayers and hugs your way.

mckayleesmom replied: and prayers to you guys right now.

~~*Missi*~~ replied: my thoughts and prayers are with you. If you need anything PM me. I just went thru a m/c in jan 06 and aug 05.

If you need someone to talk yell scream cry vent anything pm email whatever I iwill listen

i am sorry for you loss I am so so sorry

C&K*s Mommie replied: