We need a "Just Venting" forum

DVFlyer wrote: I really just need to vent about our new neighbors who we've recently discovered are INSANE.

Cliffs Notes:

The father was taken away in handcuffs after threatening Michelle, the kids and shoving our fence builder and pushing a cop. The mother told us "if your kids ever come on our property we're going to call the cops on THEM" (on a toddler ) and the 20 y/o son was yelling out the window "You better watch out who you send to jail".

At the recommendation of the officers, Michelle filed a restraining order against the dad last night after he was taken away in a squad car.

So glad they moved in next door..... /sarcasm

msoulz replied: The just venting forum sounds like a good idea!

And sorry about your neighbors - too bad we can't pick them or get rid of them. That's the downside to not living in the sticks.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
What is wrong with people??? Wow!!!

CantWait replied: WoW Sounds like you got lucky

Crystalina replied: See, I can't stand nieghbors. People really shouldn't live close to other people. You can see them all the time, hear them...smell their dinner! I really feel bad for anyone who lives in an apartment. I always think that if someone else decides to smoke in bed (or whatever) and catches their apartment on fire then other people's stuff is going to burn up just as fast. Hopefully just "stuff" and not people. You have to live where you have to live but living in the country is a blessing that I thank God for all the time. I don't see a nieghbor unless I want to.

:ETA:
But when gas prices are high I cuss country living all the time.

TheOaf66 replied: ya know you could just come talk to me face to face instead of airing our dirty laundry

sorry I moved in

that time in lock up was ok, I made some new friends

your toddler was getting unruly


sorry if my jokes offend

~Roo'sMama~ replied: Yikes! I hope they don't cause more problems for you!

Crystalina replied:

DVFlyer replied: We'll see.... I've since changed the fence design to be more in my favor (taller) which will hopefully put this behind me.

While he doesn't scare me, I'm not one to deal with this type of person. I do what I can (build a taller fence) and be done with him.

Never been in this situation before... if you knew me personally, it would shock you that anyone would be THIS mad at me/ us.

luvmykids replied: Holy cow, them are some bad apples! Wow, I hope the taller fence does it's job!

DVFlyer replied: Thanks all.

The plot is thickening. The fence guy just called to say the state prosecutor wants to talk with Michelle because she will be called as a witness. Turns out the state is filing charges (for what, I don't know... maybe assaulting a police officer?) and the neighbor has been in trouble before.

This most recent bail was $100,000!

Crystalina replied: Geesh!!!!
Holy criminal Batman!

luvmykids replied: O.M.G!!!! What a complete nightmare!

Any chance they are merely renters and will only be there temporarily?

TheOaf66 replied: rent the movie Lakeview Terrace

I hope it all works out in the end for ya

Danalana replied: Dang it, Troy! I was just going to talk about Lakeview Terrace...now THAT is a whack neighbor!
I hope it all smoothes over soon!

My2Beauties replied:
Yeeeeeees OMG that man was insane!

Anywhoo - sounds like this guy is a wanted man and this was the icing on the cake so to speak to get him in custody. KUP as you find out more, I sincerely hope you have no more problems out of them!

DVFlyer replied: They are not renters. The father bought the house for his ~20 y/o son. In his words, they were going to live there with him for a couple of months to get his son settled in since "he can't even wipe his own a@@". So I guess there is a chance the parents might not be there permanently. But after the outburst from his son, having him there doesn't comfort me either.

I have confirmed with my realtor that the house is in his son's name and that they paid cash for the house.

I can completely understand someone being upset...even downright mad about something happening in their workplace, neighborhood, etc. But when that anger spikes into violence and threats, the behavior goes from "normal" to "insane".

fwiw- He had our landscaper neighbor do some work at his house that I guess didn't turn out the way he wanted. His quote to the landscaper was "If I ever see you or your wife or kids on my property, you don't want to know what I'll do to you".

And while I was talking to him (my neighbor on one of his good days before we knew exactly how off-the-deep-end he is) we chatted about a couple other neighbors who kind of battle a bit. Nothing major, they just don't like each other. He said, "If that christian man ever screwed with me, I'd send 5 black guys over there to burn his house down".

I'm hoping my fence, and the restraining order Michelle filed shows him how serious this and causes him to sell the house, but if he doesn't move, I will.

Boo&BugsMom replied: WOW!!!!!! Can you say, nutjob?????? He is a perfect example of someone who should have never procreated.

My2Beauties replied: Whoa! What a psycho!

A&A'smommy replied: gah thats crazy!!!!!!

luvmykids replied: Wow, it just gets better and better I hope things turn out ok for you guys Too bad they paid cash, my next hope was the 20yo not making the payments and getting foreclosed on

HuskerMom replied: Oh wow! He's just nuts!! I hope everything turns out ok and maybe he won't live there for long.

I can't wait til we can move out to the country, I've got too many crazy neighbor stories. I want miles between us and them!

DVFlyer replied: What a weekend... nothing really happened, but the stress is awful. No playing outside, wondering what they are thinking etc... Luckily, it rained a bit so we wouldn't have played outside anyway.

Also, my parents are out of town so we can go spend time at their house to get away.

Not that it's logical, but we're both so worried about what the neighbor *might* do. i.e. we saw him taking pictures of the fence so we assume he's going to sue to have it taken down. Not that I think he has a leg to stand on, but that won't stop him from doing it.

My hope is that the dad files the lawsuit (if he does at all) thinking he can control this situation. Since the son owns the house, the father has no say in what a neighbor does or doesn't do.

I hope I'm not overreacting, but I've sent a note to my realtor to chat about listing my house- good time to buy, bad time to sell. I'd hate for someone else to have to deal with this guy, but he's pissed at us so I'm assuming a moving van in front of our house will cheer him up.

cameragirl21 replied: you didn't tell me all this when we spoke in private.
he can't sue you to take the fence down unless it's on his property. If you want to build a tall fence and it's up to code in your area then there is nothing he can do about it.
If you have a restraining order it means the dad can't be within 25 miles (I think that is the distance, not sure) of your wife and possibly the rest of the family if the restraining order also mentions them so the dad cannot sue you as he can't be in a courtroom with your wife or be anywhere near her.
I personally would be worried too, especially for the kids. If it were me, I'd call the cops again, explain your concerns and have an officer knock on their door and explain to the 20 year old kid that it's illegal to harrass you or threaten your family.
I'd also consider getting a german shepherd or a rottweiler...I'm serious...I had one growing up and no one messed with our house under any circumstances, ever.
The problem is that they bought the house so they're there to stay so you have to find a way to coexist. I'd prefer to coexist in a such a way where I have the upper hand and a big, mean dog has a way of doing the trick. People like that guy are usually cowards inside and just have a tough exterior, just like a schoolyard bully.

Calimama replied: Wow crazy!!! I thought our neighbors on the right were nuts.. they are nothing compared to him.

coasterqueen replied: Wow, that is nuts! I live in the country, so I don't really know about these things, but do you have to get a permit from the city to put up a fence, or through the neighborhood association? What kind of a fence is it for them to making such a big fuss about?

I'm glad most of my neighbors are family or long-time family friends. Our neighbor across the street (lives in Dh's house he grew up in) - they are the worst, but luckily we can ignore them. They freak me out though. They'll go months without putting garbage out and then all of a sudden they will put 25 garbage bags out at once (yes, we counted once, lol). They also have a TON of people living there and the kids have NO supervision, which is why my kids will never go over there.

DVFlyer replied:
That PM was getting a bit long as it was... And I was mostly concerned with your psychological opinion of the father.

There is a gray area in this fence build where I'm not 100% sure I can build it. It's a bit hard to explain, but our house is about 3' below his. i.e His house/ my house --/_

We have a retaining wall on that side of the house which at HIS ground level. Our fence is 6ft up from that point. So there *could* be a question on whether we can build a 6ft fence from our DIRT or the top of the wall. Given that the wall is ground level with him, it doesn't interfere with his view anymore than if we had level lots, but I'm sure there is a rule that covers this.

There is also the question on where the property line is. It's possible we own some of that dirt next to the wall in which case, we'd be fine. It's just SO stupid to be going through this. He cut down the hedge and we end up with no privacy. He agrees to a fence and we pay for it. He then throws a fit over 2". I was not there but from what I understand, there was NO negotiation at that point... even with the police. So what am I to do?

I've wanted a German Shepherd for a long time. I don't think Ginger is going to scare anyone, but Michelle doesn't like GSD's. Not to mention, if we bought one today, it would take a few months for it to become one of our pack as it were. Who knows.

The restraining order is for 5 yards. Not sure if that is "normal" or not, but that what it is. Also, it only mentions the dad. You have to file separate orders for each person- even though Michelle had originally listed the "family".

DVFlyer replied:
The code is anything higher than 6ft requires a permit. Otherwise, there is no restriction. My fence is going to be 5'11" just for that reason.

Of course there is that grey area I spoke about above.

cameragirl21 replied: hmm, what with Cali's hilly landscape, that is the type of problem we don't have here so I am not sure how that would work.
If your fence is six feet or under, there is no issue...if it's a couple inches on his propery, he can only force you to move it. Given he's in jail on 100k bail, it's unlikely many judges will be sympathetic unless he can prove without a doubt that it is on his land which is very hard to do when you're speaking of a few inches here and there.
Actually, we brought home our GSD puppy when he was just shy of six weeks and he became part of the pack that same day and while he was way too cute at that age to scare anyone, he had the nastiest, deepest bark even on day one. And by the time he was about 5 months old, he could have scared anyone and often did, including cops, lol, but that is another story.
Michelle may not like GSDs but ask her if she'd prefer to live in fear. Sounds like this jerk isn't going to walk away quietly, although while he's in jail, I guess he has no choice.

DVFlyer replied: I'm totally with you on the dog... we'll see if Michelle buys into it. To her, it just means "something else" to take care of on top of the kid and one dog.

The father is out on bail. I've seen him taking pictures.

Not sure why I didn't think of it before, but here is our yard v.s. his (don't mind the dirt.. we're replacing the sod. ).

This is a picture of the first set of posts going in on the other side of the wall (possibly his property, but he agreed). We've since sunk poles into OUR wall.

I hate the "his" v.s. "our" thing... it hurts my heart to be like this.

moped replied: Yes it sounds like you got great neighbors....although my neighbor story might be just as wasky - I will try to type out the story after

cameragirl21 replied: so your house is to the left?
well, I'm guessing that wall is the property divider so I'd likely build the fence atop the wall because even if he agreed to have it on his side, unless you have that in writing there could be a problem.
Unless you have a witness...was anyone present at the time of the conversation?
Actually, now that I think of it, this could be very easy to determine. You need to find the property blueprint, which you could probably find online on a website in your area that is the equivalent of this http://www.miamidade.gov/pa/property_search.asp in my area. The wall serves as some kind of marker so it should be easy to determine on whose side it is on and where the property line stops. If those poles are on his side, I'd move them before they build the fence just to save yourself the trouble. If they're not, then there is nothing he can do.
I'd still get the dog, though, sounds like he's not going to win any Neighbor of the Year awards going forward....

coasterqueen replied:
Well, I can see where he might be upset, IF you have a fence where it isn't supposed to be. I don't think the degree to which he got upset is good, though. How come you didn't find out whether you can actually put a fence there, before doing it? If he is in the right, it's going to cost you more money to move it or tear it down, right? I thought a lot of times you have to get a permit for these things, and in all honesty the person building it (if you have a contractor do it) should have been knowledgeable in that, before doing it. At least if you know if you are in the right or not, you can show him documentation which would only further your case that he has overreacted.

Thank goodness my property line on all sides is family. If I want to put something on our property that goes onto theirs, I just ask or tell them when I'm done. and no problems.

DVFlyer replied: Jennifer: Yes, our house is on the left (out of view). There used to be a chainlink fence up on his property. There was a 4" gap between the chain link fence and our wall. It is unknown who owns that 4" of "land". If it's ours, end of story. If it's his, we still *might* be able to build on top of our wall.

I'll see if there is something I can find online about the property line. IMO, I would imagine they put the wall right up against the property line... but then why the 4" gap when the put the chain link in?

The current fence posts ARE cored right into the wall. No question about whether it's - vertically- on our property, but who knows about that grey area.

Coasterqueen: For this type of project, there is no need for a permit - usually. A 6ft fence is an acceptable "standard" size so nothing extra is usually required. This was all confirmed with our fence contractor who is a licensed fence builder with 15 years experience. I don't know if he's been there at a time I thought to express my concerns about building on top of the wall, but he seems to be the kind of person who would tell me, "Uh.. you really can't do this".

DVFlyer replied: Well, I'm back at work. Michelle called to say the lumber yard didn't trim the fence slats so the fence guys were busy trimming all 150 slats. She asked if I could come home and help, so off I went.

... Fence is done. I'll post pictures when I load them tonight. Quite honestly, it's a very nice looking solid high quality fence. If I was them, I'd say, "wow... I hate those people but we have a nice fence to look at now."

Their move.

DVFlyer replied: Forgot to post the finished pics:





I'm not sure the situation is going to get any better.... Already, the son made some comment while Michelle was outside with the kids. And while walking our dog, I was paced by a black dodge ram truck that has been seen in the neighbor's driveway (not his car, but obviously someone he knows).

We're putting our house up for sale as soon as we get the sod put in and sprinklers squared away.

Calimama replied:
OMG what psychos!! Be careful!

cameragirl21 replied: wait...are you moving just because of this madness or was that the plan in the first place? Where will you go?

DVFlyer replied:
We are moving because of this... Living next door to these people will not be comfortable for me. For a couple of days I thought, "well, maybe with the fence, we could make this work", but then the incident with the son saying something through the fence and then the truck following me when I walked the dog...

No way I'm going to live somewhere I have to wonder "what's next".

Lots of places to go... I hear Florida has some nice high rises. HA HA.

San Diego is a big place. While there is always the chance they could find us, I'm betting (although I suck at gambling) that once we move, they will "win" and be done with us.

cameragirl21 replied: wow, an unexpected move over this is a big deal. I understand how you feel but what a change. I hope it all goes well for you.
Haha, had to add--you wouldn't survive as an Israeli, lol.
You are welcome to join us here in South Florida--there are more empty high rise apartments than full ones....

DVFlyer replied:
Not too big of a deal. It's just another house and neighborhood..... Losing the money (at least on paper) on my house is the biggest issue, but we are fortunate enough to have a bit of equity still so we can afford to move.

Why wouldn't I survive as an Israeli? (not taking offense... just curious... )

cameragirl21 replied:
Because Israelis are surrounded by vicious and heartless enemies who commit acts of terrorism (and worse) daily just to try to get them to move to a new location but the Israelis refuse to leave their home SO...they just made sure they were better trained and better armed and most importantly, better "brained" than their enemies.
Doesn't mean you should do the same, just made me think of Israel when you said you were going to move, that's all. And didn't mean it to be offensive or anything else, just got me thinking about what Israelis go through everyday just to survive.

DVFlyer replied: Didn't take it offensively at all... And that's what I thought you meant.

FWIW- I'm better armed and trained (and brained) than he is, I'm quite sure. But, of course, I can't do anything since we don't live in Israel.

And fwiw (#2), as bad as I think I have it with my neighbor, it pales in comparison to many other situations.... and I know that. Still sucks, though.

cameragirl21 replied:
ROFL! I literally spit out my drink when I read that!
I'm sorry you're going through this, hope you find your dream house soon and that it has nice neighbors.

luvmykids replied: WOW, I would be moving too. Even if they never took it any further, living in such discomfort is just no way to live. Good luck, I hope you're able to move and get on with life quickly!

DVFlyer replied: Update:

We had the restraining order hearing last week and the neighbor played dumb. "I have no idea why I'm here. I bought my dream home for the view and these people ruined it" etc... etc...

The judge allowed a two week continuance until the 21st...

Coincidentally, the same day, we were visited by the county because "someone" complained about our fence. During the visit, Michelle said the two inspectors could not come to an agreement about where to measure the fence from. The older inspector measured it all the way to the ground and the other guy said, 'No, you have to measure it from the top of the wall". His response was, "Don't contradict me!!".

In the mail yesterday, we got a notice of violation. According to the violation, we have a fence over 42" in height measured from the top of the retaining wall in the front yard setback and a fence over 72" in height measured from the top of the retaining wall in the rear yard behind the front yard setback.

I'm not sure how they came to that conclusion since none of those conditions exist. My assumption is that the older inspector never actually measured the wood fence and assumed it was too tall from his measurements to the ground. But later found out that his way was not the correct way to measure it, and he did not want to bother to come back....

Things could be worse, but this sux.

Calimama replied: So do you have remove the fence?

coasterqueen replied: Wow! That is crazy! Move to the country I say!!!!

You definitely need a bigger back yard. I'd go crazy in that small yard.

~Roo'sMama~ replied:
I'd be moving too. No way would I want to just tough it out and see what happens, not when my family's safety is at stake!

luvmykids replied: WOW, this thing is just going on and on and on and.....is there any way to have your fence contractor contact the county with his measurements? Or ask for a re-inspection?

eta: If the neighbor wants to play dumb about the restraining order, can't you get statements from the fence guy and the cop he pushed?

DVFlyer replied:

That's what I'm trying to do- get a re-inspection. We'll see. I have the fence contract I can show them, but it will do little good since "they" measured.

Yes, we have the police report (luckily) because it was amazing how all of a sudden he didn't remember even agreeing to the fence, but on the police report, he says he agreed.

Hopefully, in the end, all will go our way, but I'm not holding my breath. Luckily I've convinced Michelle to let me hire my atty to show up with her at the hearing next Tuesday. Another $500....

DVFlyer replied: Another update (posting mostly for my sanity):

I had the inspector come out and as soon as he got out of his truck, he said, "looks like I made a mistake". Meaning he either measured wrong or translated his notes wrong.

He remeasured and told me, "yup, you're fine. No problem here. Sorry for the inconvenience".

I said, "no problem. I really appreciate you coming on such short notice".

Then satan spoke from next door..... "Hey, I'm the one who complained... can I talk to you for a minute". He accused the inspector of collusion and ranted about how my fence was a FOOT too tall- blocking his view from his breakfast nook.

The short version is he almost went blows with the inspector (who is a retired 30 year cop).

The inspector came back and told me the wording on the paperwork was incorrect. It should not have said, "From the top of the retaining wall", but rather the "grade level" (I knew this, but figured I'd see what happened when the inspector came out).

The official word now: My fence is 3 inches too tall.

Here's the kicker (if you've bothered to read this far), I had to have the inspector get Graham to agree to allow the fence contractor on his property in order to trim the fence. Knowing his temper, I didn't want to take a chance that a stray splinter would end up on his property causing him to complain.

When the inspector came back telling me that Graham agreed and "didn't want to cause us any more problems", he said, "Oh, and I have some good news".

Graham is going to put grass in and that would effectively raise the "finished grade level". Graham said if you wanted to wait until after his grass is in, the inspector would come back out to remeasure and we might not have to trim the fence at all....

So Graham went from "their fence is a foot too tall" to " maybe they don't have to trim it at all".

I've made my decision but wondered if you would agree to this deal.........

DVFlyer replied: So Michelle just got back from the restraining order hearing. I hired my atty/ friend/ old scuba instructor to go in with her.

Graham was "Graham" and could not control his temper.

She ended up with a 3 year restraining order (all of us are listed on it) and he was ordered to pay our attorney's fees.

Every now and then things go our way.

mckayleesmom replied: lol...graham should have shut up.

DVFlyer replied: Ya, he had the court reporter (stenographer?), bailiff and the judge all pissed at him. At one point, the bailiff had to stand in front of him and stare at him because he kept glaring at Michelle while she was giving her testimony... scary and funny at the same time.

DVFlyer replied: Might have some news....

Michelle just called, there is a U-Haul truck in front of Graham's house.

*crossing fingers*

Calimama replied:
OOOO! So if they move are you gonna stay put?

luvmykids replied: I have to LOL at him being ordered to pay your court costs.....what a loser, if he'd been civil to begin with none of this would have happened, I'm sure that made him SO happy

Hope they're leaving, let us know!

msoulz replied: Wow, I don't know if crossing my fingers in Michigan will help you but I sure will - hope that house is empty tomorrow!!

And what are the odds your attorney will actually get paid??

coasterqueen replied: Crossing my fingers for you!

DVFlyer replied:

Thanks... mine are crossed too...

my2monkeyboys replied: OMG!! This is crazy!!! I truly hope that whole family is on it's way out of town. Even if they are, though, I'd be careful for a while. You never know what kind of grudge people like this can hold. KUP!!

DVFlyer replied: Just realized I never updated after the restraining order hearing...

We put our house up for sale about a month ago. Here is the listing for those interested:

http://tempo5.sandicor.com/Pub/EmailView.a...208&s=SND&t=SND


Three days after we put our sign up, he put a "For sale by owner" sign. One half of me was because he would now benefit from all our foot traffic generated by our realtor. The other half of me was because it meant he might move (or he was just screwing with us).

We got three offers within 2 days (one was all cash) so we really needed to decide what to do. We had some indications some of our buyers might also be negotiating with him so we withdrew our listing to see what happened with his house.

About 30 days ago, we overheard some people talking about "offering him *this* and see if he takes it" while parked in front of our house. At that point, we knew he was actively selling his house. We decided to wait about 30 days (assuming a 30 day escrow) to see what happened.

And now you are up to date.

DVFlyer replied:
Ya, I know what you mean... I told Michelle I wanted to get cameras and she said, "Why? If he moves, there won't be any more issues".

I said, "Maybe... but now we won't know where he lives and he knows where we live".

Boo&BugsMom replied: Troy has some family that is/was from Escondido!

I hope they are gone for good! What a bunch of morons.

DVFlyer replied:
No kidding?!!

Is one of them named Graham?

luvmykids replied: I hope this is the end of it for you guys, looks like you've made a nice home for yourselves right where you are BTW, I have the same photo room divider that is behind your leather recliner

DVFlyer replied: I hope so too... and thanks. While I would like more land some day, I didn't really want to move right now.

Calimama replied:
I didn't know you were from there Mike! We go to the Escondido Children's museum and to grape park occasionally. Miabella loves the train out front!

DVFlyer replied: Been to Grape Park. Kinda cool. And the train is neat. Our favorite place is (was) over by you at Carlsbad Beach.

DVFlyer replied: Everyone channel your Wizard of OZ theme song and sing it with me....


Ding dong the freak is gone
The Freak is gone
The Freak is gone
Ding dong the freak moved out todaaayyyy.

Wake up - sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Ding Dong the freak moved out todayyyy.

Hi ho the merry-o
Sing it High
Sing it low
Ding dong the freak moved out todaaayyy.

He's gone where the freakies go,
Belooow - belooow - below Yo-ho,
Let's open up and sing and ring the bells out.

Chorus....

coasterqueen replied:

Celestrina replied: *pops a cork* Champagne anyone?

DVFlyer replied: Champagne for sure...

We actually sat out front and washed the cars and let the kids play in the sprinklers this weekend.

Our other neighbors commented how long it'd been since they'd seen naked kids running on the sidewalk. Chloe wears clothes now, but Keian... not so much.