Very frustrating...

mummy2girls wrote: I know its not this child's fault and i am doing everything in my power not to get frustrated. I need to look up how to deal with this child and his what i think delays. His mom recently got him assesed and they say he is defentely behind and needs speech therapy and then hopefully he will get into a ABC head start program here. And i know if he is in the ABC HS he will get assessed in a more depth way and alot of things they will see he is behind. Anybody that has a child with these difficulties please give me any ideas and advice on how to deal with it and work with him. Because until he gets assessed more and put into programs im on my own during the day.

He is 3 ( will be 4 Nov 1st)
he doesnt know what it means by pick up, pull, push, close, open, up down. I would ask him pick up this toy please and put here and he does not know what that means. Please open the closet door so i can put this in( as i have my hands full) and he looks at me and tries to close it even more which it cant because its already closed. One thing that gets a bit time consuming and frustrating ... is clean up the toys time. He will put a toy in the baby toy bin after i show him where it is over 10 times ina row and then i ask him to do it on his own. and he gets flustered and has no ideas where to go. I have to guide him step by step with every peice of toy. its to a point where i just clean up myself...

colors.. he has no idea. numbers... nope. Letters...nope. Does not know any of this alphabet at all. Can he point out his name.. nope. Can he hold a crayon big or small to color... nope. scizzors ... forget that! I know each day i work with him in this area so this isnt too frustrating but im worried he wont be ready for school.

Speech.. ok i have to tell you how he says things... please.. pease( i think is normal) thank you... ank ooo, jiuce... uce, milk... ick, tired...tied, he can not say a simple sentence like... i am tired. One afternoon marcus was home from work and the boy comes to me and mumbles something. I ask him what would you like? and he says dud. and i look at marcus and say.. did you catch that? he looks at the boy and says juice? He nods yes. Marcus so proud of himself says.. i got it he wants jiuce. I said marcus ask him if he wants a dirty diaper for a snack.. so he does and the boy nods yes. he will grunt and point to what he wants.

he doesnt have good eye contact while looking at the person talking. he tilts his head and his eye look towards space. blank looks all the time. an occasional smile if he is on his own playing.

he will call me mommy all the time. I tell him im not mommy my name is shelly. he doesnt get it. Like yesterday he says mom mom mom.. i said im nto mom my name is shelly, he looks at me with a blank look and then nods yes then says within a second mom mom mom.

So please any advice i can get to deal with this and try to help him get through it. If he has autisim then i hope he gets diagnosed when put into programs and then i can learn what to do. Most of time here the caregivers of these kids can attend the programs to get idea on how to deal with kids like this. Im researching online as well to get some idea... I dont want to get frustrated because he is only 3 and its probably not his fault. So many day i want to just hold onto his face and make him look into my eyes when i say something but i know thats wrong... Help!

coasterqueen replied: I'm not sure what advice to give you, Shelly.

Megan still does a lot of those things at age 4. All you can do is continue doing what you are doing. Yes, that means showing him how to do things every second of the day. That's what we have to do with Megan. It's as if she is a 2 year old and has no comprehension of things. Megan knows her ABC's (can say them) but can't point out hardly any of them. She just now knows colors. She just now counts to 10. She is literally like a 2 year old. She can't dress herself without getting flustered. She freaks out at the thought of picking up toys and doesn't know how. You have described my child - although she does make ok eye contact. Megan even calls her sitter mom a LOT. Megan can say simple sentences but she stutters a lot to get the sentence out. Megan just now recognizes 3 letters in her name. This all happened within the last 2 months. Seriously.

What we do is do what you do. Continually help her, show her how to do things, try to get her to talk in more sentences, show her colors, words, letters, etc, etc, over and over and over again. Our sitter gets frustrated as well, just like we do. Megan sees a therapist and they forever tell us patience and just keep working at it. Megan will just be very slow, maybe always.

I know the frustration, but even the therapy process for kids like Megan and maybe the kid you babysit, is a LONG, SLOW process, with tiny footsteps forward and GIANT footsteps backwards.

coasterqueen replied: Shelly, if he does have a lot of problems with motor skills (which Megan does) then I do have a packet of activities you can do for that. They are actually fun for the whole family, so you can bring all the kids into the activities. Let me know if you want it and I can scan them and email them to you. They are activities that our occupational therapist gave for us to do with Megan.

We also use a "bean box" at home and moon sand.

Crystalina replied: I have no clue what to do except just be patient ( ) and keep doing what your doing. I know that you know that it's not his fault and I'm sure this can be very nerving at times. Especially when there are other kids you have to take care of. I feel bad for the little guy. I hope he can get assesed soon.

I just wanted to say keep your head up with him and thank God for people like you.

DVFlyer replied: Are you in a position where you can just babysit him.... meaning just make sure he has a safe environment while in your care.. but otherwise not work with him.

In other words, it might be a case where you have to stop trying to help him progress and just "watch" him.

mummy2girls replied:
anything will help.. im just a loss rigth now with him:(

mummy2girls replied:
i have done that where one day i just let him do as he can.. its a mess... He is so flustered. he needs constant programming or else he just gets into everything. one day he threw every block known to man into my kitchen while laughing. He will roll on his baby brother and physically be mean to him... This is a kid that can not be left to do what he wants:(

ZandersMama replied:

Boo&BugsMom replied: IMO...the colors, letters, numbers...all normal. Not all kids catch on quickly to those kinds of academics. For boys, most boys don't know their colors until they are almost 4 years old. A lot of them do, but there is a good majority of boys who don't until they are older.

Small motor...do you have training scissors for him? Just giving him a pair of regular scissors might not cut it. He needs training ones, where you just have to squeeze and not "open and close" them. I just bought some for Aiden (and he loves them) the other day for $5. You just squeeze them shut and when you release it opens automatically.

Give him chunky things to grasp. Do small motor exercises with him by using manipulatives...playdough, clay, etc.

The language...ugh, that's so hard to say. He really should be talking in full sentences by now, but some of their words will be muffled. At his age though, you should have minimal quessing to what they are trying to say.

Shelly, you are the caregiver that is with him all the time so I am sure you see things that are prompting you to think something may be wrong...things that we can't see ourselves. I think you should talk to the parents/guardians and tell them to get him checked out and assessed. Don't mention Autism...as it is not our job to diagnose or speculate, only refer. Jot down a list of things that he should be doing according to his age and check off the things he can and can not do. I'm sure you can find a number of checklists on the internet or through a doctor's office. Give the checklist to the parents and enourage them to get him assessed.

That is what I would do. If he does have Autism or something else, the things you are doing are great, but he will need more intensive and focused attention on certain needs that may be unknown unless he gets assessed.

julesmom replied: He could have CAPD (central auditory processing disorder). That can appear like autism at time.

maestra replied: I have a student in my class who has many of the difficulties you mentioned, and when he started kinder just pointed at things and said "uh uh" when he wanted something. He is learning to talk now, but his progress is slow. But he is very good at memorizing things. With him, it's a language processing disorder. I would definitely keep reminding the parents about testing and what options are available from your own experience. For example, many people don't know that in the US, schools have to provide a free education for any child that is 3 and has a disability. But your reminding them will help.

coasterqueen replied: Shelly,

PM me your email address and I'll get you a copy of the motor skill activities our therapist gave for Megan to do.