Vanity

holley79 wrote: It seems the other tread got off topic but it really has me thinking.

Does putting make up on daily and getting "dressed up" make you a vain person?

I have never seen myself as a vain person. I put on make up for work and on the weekends. I wear a polo with our insgnia on it to work with slacks but on the weekends I like to look decent outside of the realm. I enjoying getting dressed up a little the days DH gets back in town from his reserve training. It makes ME feel good. Annika also "puts make up" on when I am putting mine on. Hers is just my make up brushes without anything on it but does that mean she will be "vain" also as she gets older?

Danalana replied: I don't think it's vain at all (well, it depends on a person's heart and intentions). I think it's wonderful to take some pride in yourself and take care of what you've got. Nothing wrong with making you look as good as you can

skinkybaby replied: Nope, not at all. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look neat and attractive.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied: Yeah, it does to me. I haven't worn make-up in years, it just feels so fake and unnatural.

Celestrina replied: Not at all. Being vain is believing you are better than someone else. There is a difference in taking care of yourself or your appearance and how you compare yourself to others.

MoonMama replied: I think it depends on the person and their outlook.....I think for some yes and others no. I don't put on makeup daily but I do tend to feel a little better about myself when I do. Which at times does make me carry myself with a bit more confidence. Do I think that makes me vain? Not at all.

holley79 replied:
But then on the flip side of that, can someone turn around and say you are "unkept" and have "let yourself go" over the years? That's one thing I won't let happen because when I look in the mirror I want to say, "I look great, feel great and now I'm really to take on the world." Since I have lost a bunch of weight I have really been taking the time to look good and feel good and it's all for me and it feels wonderful!

punkeemunkee'smom replied: No I don't think personal grooming makes you vain. I don't wear make-up everyday but I do bathe, brush my teeth,put on clean clothes, even if that is a t-shirt and windshorts or PJ shorts. It makes me feel better and more productive...to me it is like being in a clean house-I am more relaxed when my home is clean and smells nice. I feel welcoming,school goes better, I can give my full attention to the task at hand instead of worring about what else I need to be doing.

Boys r us replied: Well apparently there are some who think so. I think when I feel good about myself my DH and everyone around me feels that vibe.

I do not wear makeup everyday, if I'm not going out I don't sit down and put on my eyeliner on and 3 colors of eye shadow etc etc..I mean..let's not be ridiculous here with our extremism ..I just think some people like to argue. I take a shower everyday b/c I think it's gross to be dirty and well quite frankly..so does my dh. We BOTH like to be clean..does this mean we NEVER get dirty? No..I go outside all of the time and weed my flowers and plant flowers and play with the kids and get gross and sweaty..but when I'm done, I'm in the shower b/c I know I don't wanna feel gross afterwards. That's not VAIN.
I don't think vanity has anything to do with being showered or wearing makeup..I hate that some people have gotten them so confused.

stella6979 replied: Nope, I don't think it's vain at all. Like I said before, when I did work, I showered everyday and put make-up on so that I was presentable to the outside world and I do enjoy doing myself up on most days, just not every day.

My3LilMonkeys replied: To me, vanity is more in the feelings and intent than the actions. It doesn't matter if you put on makeup, high heels and pearls every day or if you're at Walmart in your PJ's with your hair in a ponytail - if you're spending a lot of time thinking/talking about how beautiful you are, how much better you look than X person, etc., that's vanity to me.

Danalana replied: I had a roommate who couldn't walk to the mailbox without lipstick on...that might be a little vain

grandma replied:
It may feel fake and un-natural to you, but for those of us that grewup wearing makeup...it's very natural.
I went for years without wearing makeup and I loved it, but that was when I was younger. Now, I wear makeup becuz I think I look better with alittle help and I feel better when I look better.
I envy women who don't feel they need to wear makeup...good for them!
No, I don't think wearing makeup qualifies women (or men) as vain.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
I'm sure some think so, but I don't really care because I'm not vain about it . Sure, I've put on weight, more than I like, but so what?

coasterqueen replied: Ahhhh, I'm sure this thread is because of me. What I think is vain is thinking one has to be all prettied up to believe their spouse will appreciate them more. There are other reasons behind vanity, yes. It is all about being comfortable with oneself. I, personally, feel comfortable any way, whether I have make-up on or not. Why? Because my husband has made me feel I am beautiful no matter what so it doesn't make me feel I have to do things like that. Do I still do them? Yes. I just don't feel I have to do those things to make him happy - as far as the rest of the world and making them happy - well if they are only going to see what is on the outside - they aren't worth my time. Do I dress up for work, do my make-up, hair etc? Yes, because it's required of me in our dress code during certain times of the year - it's called dressing business-like - so I do it. When we don't have to dress that way I wear jeans, casual dress pants and a shirt, sometimes flip-flops, etc. Do I wear make-up even at that time - very little, but I only wear very little to begin with. I think being vain in some ways is caring too much what others think of you, your outer body - and turning around and doing those things to please you. I do it for me.

In the other thread it was stated several times that getting all dolled up is the least one could do for their spouse. I just don't believe that's true. Your spouse should love you and feel good about you no matter what. Do I feel like I have to get all dolled up on the weekends for my husband so he thinks I look pretty? No. Do I need to get all dolled up every time I go into town - even to the store? Nope. I care about how I feel and my confidence gives me the comfort of feeling good no matter what. - Again, this has nothing to do with just taking a shower like some have perceived it. Of course I could be out mowing for three hours, sweating and stinky and my husband would still want to touch me and think I look great.

skinkybaby replied: I think some people are confused about the definition of vain. According to Webster it's

holley79 replied:
Put the point is, does it really make one vain? I don't compare myself to anyone else and say I look better then anyone else. I do it to feel good. I enjoy wearing makeup and it's very natural for me to wear make up. It's a question of, is it really vain to want to feel good and look good?

ETA: Karen "vanity" was brought to the forefront long before you spoke.

holley79 replied:

coasterqueen replied:
I know the definition and still stand by my answers

holley79 replied:
I didn't read anywhere in there that a spose was going to love the other less. It sounds more done on the wife's part to feel good and look good for her husband but not because it's required of her.

skinkybaby replied: See, I think feeling you HAVE to get pretty for your husband when he gets home from work is more along the lines of low self esteem or other marital problems, not vanity. Then again I don't see anything wrong with WANTING to look your best for your spouse. If it makes you feel good, then do it!

Boys r us replied: I think some on the other thread read into it what they wanted to. It was said many times on that thread that looking presentable was the least you could do for your spouse. Yeah my DH is just as fab as everyone else's, he'd love me if I'd gone and rolled in pig poo before he came home, but I don't think I'm VAIN for wanting to be showered and decent looking..and no that doesn't mean makeup caked on and a short mini and high heels..give me a break already. and Karen, just for the record, I don't think your employer can stipulate that you wear makeup. I'm pretty sure business dress is only in reference to your clothing choices.

Calimama replied: No I don't think it's vain. DH prefers that I don't wear makeup, so I don't put it on for him.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
Vanity means different things to different people. What I think is vain, someone else thinks it's feeling good. So there ya go.

coasterqueen replied:
Is there some secrets to the winks here? I said feeling the NEED that you have to do those certain things to look good for your husband or that he'd find you sexier whatever to me is vain.

Oh forget it, quote me, wink at me whatever you want. I only stated what I did because I was being taken wrong in the other post about what *I* don't feel the need to do for MY husband. If people want to get offended and feel like I'm talking about them - well that's their issues. I'm not insecure in how I feel about what I feel and do with me.

coasterqueen replied:
No Nichole - I am an intelligent person, I do know that. My employer does not stipulate me wearing make-up. He stipulates what type of clothes I wear. I said I wear very little make-up and that's just for me - not because I need to be dressing business like. I wear foundation, eye liner and mascara - that's it. And yes, there have been MANY occasions I've gone to work without make-up.

Boys r us replied: Yeah see, I'm not really sure why WANTING to look nice for your DH would be a bad thing. like I've said a million times before on the other thread, it's not about makeup, it's not about being dolled up, it's not about making my DH love me more..it's just about being clean and looking like something other than a greasy, juice stained, unkept, child's snot rag at the end of my day..which is what I would look like if I didn't take the time to do a little upkeep on me. We don't have marital problems and I don't have low self esteem..I just like to look for my DH the same way I'd like to look for anyone else knocking on my door at 5pm in the evening, presentable. I personally think that's a good thing. I think it's healthy that I love myself enough to take care of me and that I love my DH enough to care what he thinks. Cripes

There was one comment way up on this thread about putting make up on when you go to work to look presentable for the rest of the world..and I have to say I find it odd that one would care more what the rest of the world thought but it would be taboo to care what one's DH thought.

Crystalina replied: I only wear eyeliner and mascara. I only wear it when I'm going out.


I don't think it makes you vain unless you are the type of person who hides when someone knocks on your door because you have no make-up on or you won't walk down to your mail unless your dressed just right and have your "face" on. Then you have issues.

Calimama replied:
I agree with that 100%.

TheOaf66 replied: If someone wants to get dolled up to make themselves feel good so be it.

Personally I like to be in shorts a muscle shirt and a hat on backwards but that is me. Dress for what you like. If you are dressing a certain way to make your spouse happy then bless your heart...cuz that is what makes a good marriage. I know I do things just to make Jennie happy but that works for us.

If you get all ready because of what people will say about you if you don't then that I don't agree with. I could care less what other people think of me so do what makes you happy.

coasterqueen replied:
I didn't think it was a bad thing for ME or for anyone else. Everyone else seems to think I think that. I just said I don't NEED to do those things. Everyone else seems to think that I think it's bad because I said I don't. Apparently people like to think I'm saying negative things when I'm not. Not sure why. I guess me stating how I feel about my doings is the bad thing to everyone else. If everyone else is secure in what they do and how they feel they need to do certain things I'm not quite sure why anyone is up in arms about it.

skinkybaby replied:
I agree. I don't see it as any different than making sure my child has on clean clothes and their hair is brushed before we leave to go somewhere. Different strokes for different folks though, I guess!

Crystalina replied:
Perfectly said!!

Boys r us replied:
Who said anything about feeling THE NEED to do those things. you did. I don't think anyone did before you condemned us for NEEDING to when we never said we NEEDED to...so I guess maybe that's why people took offense to your telling us how vain it was. I mean if no one said it, why would you have a tangent about it? I dunno..

P.s. I don't think there is any secret wink code.

skinkybaby replied: I should clarify what I said earlier about low self esteem and HAVING to look nice- some people feel that if they don't look 100% for their spouse at all times means their husband will love them less or have an affair or what not. I think THAT stems from low self esteem or marital problems. Not CHOOSING to look nice for your spouse.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Ditto to what Dana said. Vanity is having the intentions of showing off yourself like you are the worlds greatest gift to the Earth since sliced bread. Vanity is when you think you are the hottest thing known to man. It's where your heart is, not what you put on or wear. I wear makeup just to go to Walmart, but that isn't because I think I'm hot, it's because I am just paranoid and like myself better with a little makeup on. I guess you can put vanity in the same category as someone who is self-centered.

Here is a nice definition of what vanity is:
Vanity is the excessive belief in one's own abilities or attractiveness to others. In many religions vanity is considered a form of self-idolatry, in which one rejects God for the sake of one's own image

TheOaf66 replied:
is it vanity when I don't have the intention of all that, it is just the way it is

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I think all that matters is what is on the inside.

You could argue all day about how a person appears and make judgements on how 'vain' they are b/c they take care of themselves. But, the truth is, no one really knows for certain.

The most upkept lady walking down the street with her nails groomed and her hair all done, wearing $500 shoes could be the most insecure person....or not. The same goes for the lady at the grocery store wearing a dirty t-shirt, flip flops, stringy hair........

holley79 replied:
That's exactly right. Annika does not leave the house without her teeth brushed, her hair brushed and clean clothes. Even if we are going to the park. First impressions are everything. When someone brings their child into my office and their child is filthy without shoes on and their clothes reek I have a huge problem with that. I'm not saying anything negative about the child here, it reflects on the parent(s).

No Karen, you know as well as anyone else here there is no "Secret Wink Code".

Boo&BugsMom replied:
YES!

coasterqueen replied:
I didn't condemn you, you condemned yourself. I said in the other thread which you felt was wrong of me to say that *I* DO NOT FEEL THE NEED to do certain things. How was that condeming you? You apparently thought I said that in reference to you and I didn't. If you'd just let me state my opinion, like you did yours and let it be no one would feel condemned unless they aren't confident in how they feel. Not saying you don't feel confident - I'll say that before you come back to me with that. I was simply stating my opinion about ME and everyone gets up in arms like I'm talking about them. It was asked what I felt vanity was and I gave it. I can't help it if my definition fits in to what you are or what you do. Does that mean I codemned you? Well that's for you to decide. Does that mean I offend you? Well, I'm sorry I wasn't trying to. I was giving my definition to the subject. That can happen in any subject if one lets that happen. I am not going to be offended if you think I'm vain for something because I'm comfortable in what I'm doing. If everyone else is comfortable with what they do then they wouldn't be offended either.

holley79 replied:
Girl you are HOT!!!! Just ask Troy!!

TheOaf66 replied:
she doesn't believe me, she thinks I am after something if I tell her that

Boo&BugsMom replied:
He's my husband, so his biased opinon doesn't count. That's ok, as long as he thinks it, that's all that matters.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
You sometimes are....

holley79 replied:
You got that right!

TROY you are after SOMETHING.

Boys r us replied: Karen, I think it's because you repeat things that people say and put them into a bad context and then turn around and say, "Oh I wasn't talking about you, why are you offended". I think obviously people are going to think you're referring to them when you repeat things they have said, no? because it happens more often than not, I've come to believe that you do it intentionally and then pretend to be innocently boggled when someone is offended. But, perhaps I'm wrong. I don't know. I just know it happens frequently. If I say, "My DH appreciates it that I take time to make myself look presentable and nice for him" and you in the next response say, " It's so vain that people feel like they have to fix themselves up for their DH to appreciate them. My DH would NEVER do that.." do ya see where I'm going with this ??? At no point in my words did I say my DH expected me to do that in order to love or appreciate me, so why would you say that if you weren't trying to instigate something? If no one said MY DH expects me to do this, what purpose would it serve on your behalf to say that it's vain for anyone's DH to expect that..I mean, if you weren't talking to us in the thread, who were you talking to?

Our Lil' Family replied:

Maddie&EthansMom replied:
ITA.

stella6979 replied:
Well, that was me that made that comment and like I said, Jeff prefers me without make-up, but I myself, think I do look better with a little make-up on, I just hate applying it everyday. When I was working though, I did take a little more time doing myself up, but now that I'm home, I just prefer not to put anything on my face.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I should also add though, that he isn't really saying that HE thinks I should have to doll myself up for him all the time. We do a lot of things for each other, and if someone wants to doll themselves up for their spouse, then that is great...which is what he is saying if that is important in someone's marriage. We do things to make each other happy in other ways, and everyone has their own ways. However, Troy doesn't expect the above mentioned "dolling up", and it certainly is not an issue in our marriage. I don't ever let myself look like a slob all day, but I certainly don't always look my best, esp. when we are just around the house. He doesn't care about that, and he really doesn't care what I'm wearing. Honestly, when I tell him I have to go get myself ready before we leave somewhere, he always asks "Why, you already look ready". He just sees past the clothes, makeup, etc.

holley79 replied:
ITA

stella6979 replied:
This is pretty much what I've been trying to say all along.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
He knows what's underneath the clothes and that's all he cares about.

stella6979 replied:
Ain't that the truth!!!!

TheOaf66 replied:
guilty

holley79 replied:
Typical man mind.

coasterqueen replied: Well that is what I think is hilarious. I was agreeing with what Stella said and because I agreed with EXACTLY what she said about it then *I* am the bad one, I am the one trying to do things intentionally. I think you just like to pick me out. If you read what I agreed with Stella in the other thread *I* did not say it first, I agreed with what she said and said that I am I not like that. But you know everyone on this board has someone they have to pick on so it might as well be me. I mean if it's not Mollie being picked on I'm the next best person, right? I will make sure next time I don't agree with what someone else is saying and explaining why *I* agree with her. There are apparent rules on this board even I as a mod don't know to adhere to.

TheOaf66 replied:
pick pick pick on Karen

coasterqueen replied:
Bring it on, I can take it. I guess I'm just that entertaining.

Brias3 replied: In terms of the original question, I do not think it is vain to want to look nice. I shower, wear makeup and do my hair daily, whether I'm going somewhere or not. That's just me- I feel more comfortable and I enjoy being presentable. My husband probably doesn't care one way or another about make-up, but he is always well-groomed and dressed, so we are very similar in hygiene/presentation manners.

Holley, I do agree with your line of question on whether or not it's "teaching" Annika to be vain. I used to have the same worry myself with Aliyah. I'm with you- my kids do NOT leave the house without clean clothes, clean and brushed hair, etc. From little on, Aliyah's been really into the look factor- she always had an opinion on her clothes, liked playing dress-up and with fake makeup, etc. and I used to think it was because I was particular about their appearance, but I don't think there's any harm done now. Girly-girls in the future, maybe , but I don't think there's a darn thing wrong with your child being exposed to grooming habits!

moped replied:
SO Mollie, can I ask a question then.....

It seems there are more people that shower, make up, etc on a regular basis than not, so we are all vain on here? Why do you like hanging out with us then? Just teasing a bit

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
I won't name names, but there's a few people here I consider really vain. I hang around here because this was the very first message board I ever joined, and it has sentimental value to me. I feel like I could be great friends IRL with a few members here, and I hope some feel the same way.

HuskerMom replied: I usually don't get dressed up too much, anymore I just wear what's comfy. But I like to wear makeup. I don't if I'm not going anywhere all day or just running a quick errand. But I like to wear it just because I like the way it looks. But if I don't feel like putting any on then it's not the end of the world to me if I go out without any makeup. I never wear alot anyway, just a little eyeshadow and lip gloss. And I don't think I'm being vain.

A&A'smommy replied: I like to get dressed (not necessarily dressed up) and shower before my husband gets home but that doesn't always happen.. mostly it makes me feel good about myself I like to put make up on but I rarely do unless I'm going somewhere and its very little then. There are times when I like to get all dolled up jewelry, make up, boots ect but thats rare and its just for fun

luvmykids replied: I didn't read all the replies, I think vanity is complex. I dont' think it's vain to want to take care of yourself and be presentable. I do think it's vain to think everyone ELSE cares if you are made up or not. Vanity has an element of what others will think of you and I wear make up because I feel better not so others will notice

gr33n3y3z replied: I never really worn make up never did like it BUT that doesnt mean I dislike others wearing it except the ones who paint it on LOL
And I think getting dressed up or down or wearing make up doesnt make anyone a vain person its what they like to do and everyone should accept each other for who they are and not what they or what they do.

Cece00 replied:
No kidding. I was just about to post the definition myself, some ppl are WAY off about what it means to be vain.

Crystalina replied:
I would love to visit you for a day Mollie. Even though I don't always see things your way I think you (and many others on here) are very interesting people.

kit_kats_mom replied: Not vain, just someone with different priorities than me.

I shower twice a day but I rarely put on makeup. If I do, it's usually just mascara and lip gloss so I don't scare the bug man when he comes over.
I just don't need to do it unless I'm going out on the town. I spend my days at the gym and either inside the house with the kids or at the beach/pool/zoo and it's too hot at all of those places to even think about makeup. On the few occasions that I have worn makeup it slides off within minutes and then I've broken out really badly.

I live in a ponytail but my hair is always clean. I can't stand my hair in my face and again with the heat. When I went to Orlando with my girlfriends they were dying over how soft my hair is. They kept calling me "virgin head" and couldn't believe that I didn't know how to operate a straightner. It's true, I maybe blow dry my hair once a month (and then, it's probably just my bangs) and I never use product.

I also think that I'm sending my DD's a good message about being happy with oneself. They always notice when I'm dolling up and they ask tons of questions. I don't want my girls to be the ones wearing too much makeup in Middle School.

redchief replied: Well at least this thread has stayed on topic!

OK... I guess this can be applied to a guy as well as a girl, so:

I have no dress code at work. I could wear sneakers, shorts and a shirt if I so pleased.
I may have a beard.
My hair can be as long as I wish to keep it, so long as it's not unkempt.

I do:
Dress in collar shirt, shoes and slacks every day.
I shave every day.
My hair is buzz cut.

Am I vain?

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Yes, Ed. According to the standards of most on here...you are vain.

Boys r us replied: No. I don't think holding yourself to higher standards than are expected of you makes a person vain at all. I think it makes you someone who strives to be their best....

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Well I have to say that I'm the least interested in my appearance. Because I don't have a shower, just a big old claw tub I only bathe every other day. I don't wear make-up even to work. I rarely ever dress up. The only thing about myself that bothers me is my hair, it drives me crazy! So if anyone can reccomend a product for unruley short naturally curly hair, it would be greatly appreciated.

I will admit that when DH and I were dating I wore make-up, dressed really nice, did my hair. But after Emily was born, I guess I let myself go and after Claudia was born, I was pretty much in my PJ's unless someone was coming over. This was a part of my depression and I had to re-learn the whole self care all over again.

redchief replied:
I present myself thusly to the detriment of my personal comfort. The argument could be made that I am so vain and that I am trying to upstage my superior, who routinely shows up to work in shorts, Docksiders, and sports a goatee. I have been asked the very question, am I trying to make him look bad? Isn't that a working definition of vanity? I have full arguments to contradict such questions. So how am I any different than the woman who tries to make herself look good to herself everyday, who may be considered vain? I simply can't go to work and take myself seriously dressed so casually. My superior doesn't feel the same way I do. By the way, he's never said anything about how I dress, and neither have I about his attire choices. The conversation never comes up. But what do I say to the retractors who say I'm trying to upstage my boss?

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Ed, my DH is the same way. He's most comfortable wearing a suit and tie. It's hard for him to wear anything other than that to church or to work. So is he vain? No, he's just wearing what he is comfortable in.

Our Lil' Family replied: Just wanted to thank you all for getting this song stuck in my head....here ya go:

You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?


You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and


You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?


I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and


You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?


Well, I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your horse naturally won
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
Well, you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not, you're with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend, and


You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

A&A'smommy replied:
ROFL now its stuck in my head

redchief replied: I was wondering when someone was going to post these lyrics... The song has been running in my head for the past hour or so.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I've been singing it ALL DAY!! and picturing How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.

They used to sing this to my dad at work when he was younger.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
I'm sorry, but I have to speak up and say that this statement just plain hurts. And I know that you are not "naming names", and quite possibly not speaking of me, but the fact you even put it out there and are choosing favorites, stating that you would only be friends with a FEW members, just clearly shows judgement. I have so many friends Mollie, from different walks of life. Some into expensive clothes, some who like to bargain shop. Some who wear a lot of makeup, some who don't even wear chapstick. Makes no difference. I do not choose my friends based on their appearance or whether or not they do, say, or dress like me. Just like I am open to the things you do, although different to me, I could still be your friend. I personally don't need to justify to anyone what or why I present myself the way I do. As I'm sure you agree. So why are we pointing fingers about who is vain and who is not (names named or not)? I am confident that if you actually got to know me IRL, high heel wearing, makeup, waxed, gym obsessed Rae, you would actually learn that vanity is really just a stereotypical term.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Yes, I've been singing the song all day too...Good ol Carly Simon!

punkeemunkee'smom replied: IDK I have been thinking about this all day...I asked Bill about it (in the shower when he came home for a sandwich and a shower today) I don't think I am vain. Bill said he is proud to have me as his wife to know that when we go somewhere I will be dressed nicely (as will Taylor) that I look like I am taken care of...To me that is not a bad thing! He said he loves watching me put lotion on after a shower and he loves the 'girlie' things I do to look nice and smell nice-honestly if that makes me vain then so be it!!!



One of my favorite parts of How to lose a guy!!! But isn't the song about him...so is he really vain?

Maddie&EthansMom replied:
Thank you for that Rae! I'm certain that if I met any of you IRL I would like you and you might even like me too. I don't have the greatest home, but any of you would be welcome here. I don't drive the nicest car, but it's paid for and gets me from point a to point b. I might be wearing makeup when we meet or I might not. I am who I am. I don't judge others and I ask that you not judge me, either. Please don't assume to really know someone by their looks or how much is in their bank account. You are depriving yourself of many great friendships by doing so.

TANNER'S MOM replied: Well, I am a vain person! I am. I really take proud in my appearance. I don't think I look better than anybody. I used to be a FAT girl. And now that I am not, I do take alot more time with my looks. I want to be feel good and pretty. I wear make up when I go out. I wear full make up usually. I work hard at work and on the farm, but I try to look good even when I work.

I know I spend alot of money on being vain, I have a hundred dollar flat iron, I have hundred dollar jeans, I have tons of make up, and I love QVC, Go Bare Minerals. BUt I don't do it for anyone but myself! I want to look good, I never want to the FAT girl hiding my light under a bushel again.

I guess everyone has a something that could be thought of as vain. Do you paint your toe nails? Do you wear contacts instead of glasses? Do you use anti wrinkle cream?

I guess everyone has something they could think of as being vain. I dont' think my husband thinks of me as vain though. I know he loves all of me. I man that loved me at 230lbs and was still sexually attracted to me, can't just love me for my looks.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
I'm sorry that hurt you; I was not talking about you. I know for a fact that I wouldn't get along with the few that I was talking about, and not just because they are vain. I'm sorry that you feel I'm judgemental as well. I am uncomfortable around people like that, so it's more of a personal comfort level than avoiding people because they are vain.

redchief replied:
I find double standards interesting in that they are very telling.

Boys r us replied: I actually find 'not naming names' worse than naming them b/c it leaves the door wide open to hurt a lot of people's feelings instead of just the couple of us you're actually talking about. I'm sure that I'm inclusive of that list, which ..hey..I'm used to it..people will always judge you based on appearance or car or home b/c it's easier than actually taking the time to get to know someone. What's interesting is that I actually am not vain..I don't think highly of my looks at all and anyone who knows me, knows that... I hate my picture taken, I hate doing things like being in weddings where I'll be in the spotlight etc etc. I think highly of who I am on the inside..a good person who would do anything for anyone, even you Mollie..I'm pretty sure I was nice enough to mail you a book I had bought for my DH and I to read b/c you said you would like to read it but couldn't buy it...so I put helping you out in front of my desire to finish reading it and in front of the money I spent on it. I don't bring this up b/c I want to pat my own back, but simply b/c it's indicative of who I am..I am just a down to earth normal girl who loves my family and friends..but all of that is lost b/c I wear makeup or wear nice clothes or have a bigger house than someone stamps 'necessary'. I find that to be insulting but I actually find it more sad for the people who make judgments like that because they are ridiculing people based on VANITY not who they really are and they will surely miss out on a lot of good souls who could add something to their life via friendship!

Boo&BugsMom replied: Wow...I'm having high school flashbacks.

moped replied: On line life is pretty different........

I just asked DH if I was vain and he said I can be sometimes........but not at all other times.

MOllie, you might be surprised what a great freind I am IRL. I can make anyone laugh and I pride myself on my loyalty and generosity to my freinds and family. I love the feeling of making someone happy!!!!!

Makeup, clothes, shoes etc, yes I love them all BUT I am still a great person I think and a great friend.

lovemy2 replied:
I would have to say the "so what" about putting on weight is not a good attitude - not only because of how it makes you feel about yourself but because of your health - you have SIX kids - who would take care of them if something happened to you because you have a "so what" attitude about your weight -

I know I am sick to my stomach because of the baby weight I am still carrying - it is beyond vanity so to speak now - its not just a matter of how I look but also the fact that when I just had my physical my BP is up and I don't even FEEL healthy anymore - its my responsibility as a parent to take care of my health as best I can to ensure that I am here for a long long time to take care of them

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I like ya Jen.

I love clothes, shoes, and makeup too, but like you, I love to give to others as well. I love seeing the look of happiness on someone's face when I give them something. It makes me happy seeing others happy.

lovemy2 replied:
Hey Jen.....


I LOVE YA MAN

lovemy2 replied:
Hey Rae -

I LOVE YA TOO MAN

lovemy2 replied:
And Nicole -

I LOVE YA TOO HONEY

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Kiss a$$.

tammyhopkins replied: I have to say for someone who only posts once and awhile (being me) i have to laugh because whenever a post starts on anything Mollie ( who i have nothing against just making a observation here) will make her point very clear and make it like her way is the only way to go.

Well I have to say that Jen (moped) who yes is my sister likes stuff but she is extremly giving and always doing for others. I loike too wear makeup and do my hair i feel i look better and feel better. But when it comes to people that so not wear makeup i really do not care thatis their life to do so, and all the power to you I look 10 years older without LOL.

anyway i think my point is we all have an opinion we need to say it and stop trying to imprint on everyone all the time.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I appreciate the apology Mollie. But not naming names is just a safe jab IMO.

I just really keep thinking about how we women put each other down so often, when in fact, we should be bringing each other UP!!! I love to see women confident in what they wear, whether it's a pair of birkenstocks or a pair of stilletos. Do it for yourself, that's all that matters. I'm totally with Mel in saying I love to feel pretty, I love to get dressed up, put on makeup, curl my hair, because I feel confident about myself this way. It's not because someone else is telling me I have to, DH certainly could care less, but it's because I want to do it for myself. Not everyday, but some days. I like to look in the mirror and actually like what I see. If that's being vain, then well yep, I'm VAIN! I tell my GFs they are hot all the time, because that to me is bringing someone up. They know I love them for what's inside, that comes first, but who doesn't like a compliment from the outside once in awhile? It's not being vain in my eyes.

mummy2girls replied:
I agree mel. Now that I have lost 40 pounds i can wear clothes i couldnt before. i was always in baggy joggers or pants, shirts and sweaters that covered me up so it made me look even huger! In the summer I wore layers because i hated what i looked like. But now im in heh tank tops, spagetti strap tops, capris and now shorts. I do take time to get ready now because I like my new body.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: Ok still thinking about this topic.... Actually right now I just want to be in the office because it is the coolest room in the house and I am DRENCHED in sweat because I just had to chase Blueberry again to give her some probiotics but I was thinking about this and laughing to myself while I was becoming sweaty, stinky, & nasty outside....I feel like we all keep saying 'not that DH cares' like it is a bad thing if he does...Bill loves me in PJs with my hair pinned back and if he walked in right now would kiss me like I am the only woman in the world and the most attractive one he has ever seen. I lost alot of weight in the past few years and in the past few months I have put some of that weight back on-Bill has never said anything but that I am beautiful-he has said it when I was 9 months pregnant and so swollen with toxemia that I looked like a blowfish but he also says it when I get all 'dolled' up to go somewhere. He loves me to wear a dress and nice shoes,he tells me to go shopping for myself, he takes pride in his appearance and mine. I don't feel like that is vain or makes him a bad husband! There on not demands on my looks but there is pride in them-I don't think that is a bad thing at all!

lovemy2 replied:

jcc64 replied:
Idk why women are so brutal with each other. It's probably why most of my friends are guys....

holley79 replied:
Annika is very much into picking out her own clothes already. I know it's only going to get worse. Her and I paint toenails together, do finger nails, play dress up, do hair and "make up" together. I guess bottom line is, I wouldn't go to a job interview looking like a crumb bum so why would I leave the house looking like one? I wouldn't want someone to see Annika in public and wonder when the last time she had a bath or when was the last time I did laundry. Guess that does make me a vain person and I'll take it. Annika will NEVER leave the house looking like she just rolled out of a pig pen. I have standards and I like to keep them. We were poor little white kids who lived in a tuna can growing up. We wore hand me downs but we were NEVER unkept. That was something my mom made sure of and I'm very happy about that.

I moisturize because my great granny told me to try and look as young as possible for as long as possible and wear I foundation because it does protect your skin from the elements, as funny as that may sound. I'll take it. Annika lotions up after every bath at night right along with me. I love that girlie feeling.

TANNER'S MOM replied: I would like to say that me being the "vain" person that I am, I haven't raised daughters that our vain. My daughter is 17, and one that is 14. They wear make up, some days, some days they don't. I have never had to say, go wash that make up off. I have had said, oh Britt this shirt will look cute on you..and she will be Oh no Mom, that's to low cut or that's too short in the belly. I mean this is something I "think" She could wear and she tells me NO. She is very modest and Tiffany is also. She wears make up and does her hair even more than Britt, but never too much! They are SMART girls and realize looks a nice thing, but they do fade and brains are where they are at!

jem0622 replied: I don't think putting on makeup makes you vain. I have always equated that step with just wanting to look your best. Not everyone prefers makeup. We sure have come a long way though with makeup! Now with the mineral makeup, you look more natural and still get the coverage!

holley79 replied:
It's very light and you don't even know it's there. It's awesome.

holley79 replied:
You raised great girls Mel and I don't find you "vain" at all.

gr33n3y3z replied:
Same here and I like it that way

Crystalina replied:
Same here girlies. Most of my girlfriends are online. I don't like the cattyness and competition that women think they have to have. Women are more judgmental about how you look then a man!! I am not by any means saying this about anyone on here but I'm talking IRL. With women it's who just bought what (and of course how much it cost ), who has her nails done and who is way overdo...just superficial things like that. With men the friendship is so more lax. I have a man, they have their wives and we can all just hang and be us. Now I do have girlfriends now that are more like me and do not care about what Ms. Priss down the road has but my older friends are really just so competitive.


As far as daughters are concerned. I think little girls wanting to wear make-up and dress up are just what they do. They'll either stay like that or grow out of it. Izabella is very, very into her looks. Where she gets it I don't know. Maybe because I always tell her that she's beautiful. I think it's gone to her head. But this is what she does; she will do her hair, put on her clothes, look in the mirror 10 times, ask me 45 times how she looks and then go outside with the boys and jump on the 4-wheeler and get muddier then heck and not worry about what she looks like until the end of the day. Makes no sense to me. She's a girly-girl/tomboy combo.