Update on me.... - Loss of another grandparent...

MomToJade&Jordan wrote: Don't know why it's taken me this long to post this. Maybe because I'm still processing it or that you guys have done so much all ready, but anyway my other grandfather passed away weds evening. I was there this time, probably why I didn't make it in time for my Grandpa. He was moved to Hospice on Tues. and seemed fine, but went downhill quickly. He has been in and out of the hospital this past 5 years. In fact I always figured we would lose him first. Instead he went almost 3 weeks to the day my Grandpa did. He went peacefully and is no longer suffering, but I am just, I need to lean on some people right now because I'm tired and I don't know if I can take much more. I am trying to be strong for my parents. My poor father went back to Hospice for my mother even though he had been there for his father. He wasn't in the room when Popo went I had to go get him. They are leaving for New York on Tues because my grandfather wanted to be buried with my grandmother. She left us in 1989 at the age of 59. My Grandpa was cremated so we haven't had any sort of thing for him, but my Popo wanted a service so we had one. I sang Amazing Grace, wasn't easy to do, but Popo came to every performance I was in. He was a man who you could count on no matter what and I think I am just now starting to realize that he's truely gone. I've had a minute to stop and think. The shock has worn off and I'm sitting here trying to figure out how I lost both of my grandfathers in 3 weeks. Maybe the fact that the one person I needed to hold me up in this situation has abandoned me. I'm so lost guys and I think I need a weak moment. I have been focusing so hard on taking care of my girls that I haven't really had a chance to let myself mourn. Jade asked me today if I was sad. How perceptive is my child? I have 2 more Angels now in heaven, but is it wrong to want them back? Can I please wake up from this nightmare? If you have made it this far thank you. I'm sorry for this, but I need to realize that I can't be strong all the time.

luvmykids replied: Oh my heart is broken for you, you're going through so much. Please lean on us anytime, one person can only handle so much and you're entitled to want to just be sad, mad, hurt, you name it. Many thoughts and prayers for you and your parents.

mummy2girls replied: oh hun i am so sorry! Its so sad when a grand parent dies. I lost all but one grandparent! Im sending some big hugs your way((((((HUGS)))))) please come and vent we are here for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gr33n3y3z replied: So sorry to hear that

amymom replied: Oh Gosh! You are going through so much right now. Please continue to use us for a sounding board. I am praying for you. I read the quotes in my signature to give me strenght.

Take care.

MamaJAM replied: I'm so sorry.

3xsthefun replied: I'm so sorry for your loss.

amynicole21 replied: Sweetie, I'm so sorry. I can't believe all of this is happening to you at the same time. Sending you all the strength I have in me

mckayleesmom replied: Im so sorry you are going through this Carrie Ann. Big hugs and prayers to you and your family.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I'm so sorry Carrie-Ann.

3_call_me_mama replied: HUGS And prayers tha tthings get better for you Carrie Ann!! death is never easy especially when you have littleones to care for. Hang in there.. we are always here to lean on!!!

jcc64 replied: You're right- you can't be strong all the time, and it's ok for your kids to see you weak and sad, as long as you're open with them about the reasons. They have an amazing ability to digest the most complex situations if you let them. My dd was barely 2 when I lost both my dad and my grandma (to whom I was very close) with months of each other. I was very honest about what was going on, and though she asked (and still does, occasionally) alot of questions, the conversations that ensued were helpful for all of us. She is often the one who will bring their names up, now almost 2 yrs after the fact, and I'm glad that they are still a vital part of her memories. The point of all of this is that you don't have to shield them from all of your grief- include them- it's happening to them too- and it will relieve you of the exhausting exercise of pretending that everything's normal right now- it's not, and they can handle it, if you let them.
Big big hugs to you, Carrie Ann. I'm sorry.

C&K*s Mommie replied: BIG hugs to you, Carrie- Ann. Come here to vent anything anytime, and as Jeanne said maybe talking to your daughter will in turn benefit both of you.

coasterqueen replied: I am so sorry for both of your losses.

fashionmumofboys replied: I'm sorry for your losses.

I hope things start to get better real soon for you.