Update on Emily and the Computer

Kirstenmumof3 wrote: Well an officer did call us and she expained that what Emily did was a criminal act and that if she hadn't confessed and said she was lying, she could have been charged by starting a false investigation. It would be on her permanent record and the officer said it could make life difficult for her later. So we sat down and talked to her and she doesn't get it! I'm hoping that talking to her counsellor tomorrow it will help. I just pray that she doesn't pull these pranks anymore!

amynicole21 replied: So scary. Does she have ANY unsupervised access to the computer at this point?

luvmykids replied:

That could have been very serious, what if the police talk to her directly?

Kirstenmumof3 replied:
Right now she is grounded from the computer and when she does get it back we will be limiting the amount of time she has on the computer.

Kirstenmumof3 replied:
The officer said she would be more than willing to come and talk to Emily, but thought that we were handling things well.

lisar replied:
I say have them come and do it anyways. I know you are doing a great job handling things but maybe the officer could scare her a little more than yall.

gr33n3y3z replied: Oh boy I guess I missed that post also
I hope she learns from this and dont repeate it

I can see 6 months with out a computer would do her good

Kirstenmumof3 replied:
I think she would kill us if we did that to her! But I think limiting her time to only a few hours a day will help a lot. My friends daughter is on until all hours of the night and I just don't agree with that.

grapfruit replied: Totally agree w/Having the officer come and talk to her. She may HEAR what you're saying (and on some level believe it's true) but for the most part, what you say will go in one ear and out the other. I'd have him talk to her. I think I said it in the first thread. Most would concider it part of their job, b/c they'd much rather scare her straight now then have her in the system later.

And for the record, it isn't your fault at all!!!! She's a teenager, they do this sort of stuff, some more then others. If you weren't good parents it might not of been a lie.

Kirstenmumof3 replied:
Awww Thanks!

We'll see how it goes tomorrow with the Consellor and then take it from there.

amymom replied: Hi Kirsten,

Personally, I would take her internet privileges away completely, but that is me.

If you choose to allow her to continue to use the chat and IM programs look at getting a program called Chat Watch. It can be put on Stealth mode, meaning she would never know it is working. You can read all their IM's and chats. And it is not very expensive. I purchased it a few years ago, and do not monitor my son's every IM or chat any longer (he is 16 now.) But I can have certain key words signal me to read an IM. Anyway, look in to it.

Good Luck!

A&A'smommy replied:

Calimama replied:
That sounds like a good idea. I also agree with letting the police come and talk to her. Maybe that would help open her eyes a bit.

Kirstenmumof3 replied:
Thanks I'm definately going to have to look into that.

redchief replied:
Kirsten, I know raising teens is tough, but Miss Emily isn't in a position right now to be killing anyone. Now, I know it was just a figure of speech, but she has violated a trust in her freedom, not to mention coming dangerously close to losing her physical freedom as well (as in if she hadn't owned up to the lie she could be sitting in juvenile detention right now). So, as you've probably guessed, I'm with the others on the no computer bandwagon. If it were me, she would be able to complete school work only on the computer. She would be well and truly grounded. She would not have access to the computer in private, period. She would know right well I was watching every move she made, whether it be through software or good old over-the-shoulder intervention.

I know you've already got a full boat, but your daughter came very, very close to destroying an innocent person's life. That she came clean and told the truth about her actions is honorable, but it doesn't change the fact that she did this. Any transgression is forgivable, but when you say that she doesn't get how wrong she was, I'm filled with concern for her future.

kimberley replied:

i agree. i hope it goes well today and she opens up a bit. update when you can.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I would absolutely take the computer away from her. How old is she? I can't remember but maybe you should take her to speak to someone who HAS been raped and show her how serious it is! .

PrairieMom replied: