UGHH! What can I do? (Public tempers and fits)

Boys r us wrote: I don't know what to do! I have a 21 mnth old and he throws them at home and I can deal with them there b/c I will put him in time out for a few minutes, but when we're out in public..I don't know what to do!
how do you all handle temper tantrums in restaurants and malls and so forth?

MommyToAshley replied: I have read all about these tantrums.... Ashley doesn't do this yet, but I am sure our time is coming. Since I don't have any experience with this yet, I don't have any advice. But, I am anxious to hear what the other Moms have to say, because I am sure I will need the advice in the future myself.

So, for now I can offer hugs and support.

kit_kats_mom replied: We've not been there yet but from what I've heard, consistancy is key. I would probaby do the same/similar things when you are out that you do at home. If time outs at home work for you and seem to be solving the problems, I'd probaby take him to the car or maybe a bathroom if is is closer, for a time out if one happens while you are out. Otherwise he will realize that he can throw a tantrum outside of the home but not in the home and that would be really bad. It could be very confusing for the little guy. I'm sure someone else here will have better advise.

ediep replied: My 18 month old, Jason, throws temper tantrums sometimes. I usually just ignore it and in a few seconds he is done.

I agree, that consistance is the key....so in public I would just ignore it or I'd tell him that if his behavior continues we have to leave, ..... Then leave if we have to!

My SIL had this problem with my nephew, but she would warn him then she wouldn't follow through, his behavior never improved.

Good luck!!

coasterqueen replied: With Kylie if I just ignored her she would scream even louder, so we just leave the store or restaurant. It's just a whole lot easier that way for us, at least.

kimberley replied: with James, we just left too. sometimes they are tired, over stimulated and the comforts of hope help calm them down. leaving was the easiest for us also. nothing else worked. good luck.

coasterqueen replied:
You know Kimberley, that is what I found to be the case too. Most times if Kylie throws a fuss in a store or a restaurant it is because she's reached her max and is either tired or over-stimulated. I didn't understand this before, but do now thanks to the reading of "How to raise your spirited child". They talk alot of about that in there and I think this really pertains to all children, not just high needs ones.

I know we went to a restaurant the other night with our friends that we were visiting (it was a birthday party) and Kylie did well for about the 1st 1/2 hour to hour and then BAM, she was so fussy. I have learned to accept that I can't expect her to remain good when I know she just gets over-stimulated so quickly. So I would take her out in the lobby and hold her, rock her and talk to her and she would calm down, we'd go back in and she would be fine for another 1/2 hour.

Same with shopping, Kylie does good for about 1/2 hour and then that's it, so we don't go for very long anymore.

That book is teaching me a lot on how to deal with issues like that. Still not finished with it though, lol.

kimberley replied: sounds like a great book Karen! James was exactly like Kylie. he had his limits and needed to be somewhere quiet and alone with me after about half an hour too. it was challenging and very frustrating at the time, but now looking back, he wasn't a bad kid... he just had more needs than Jacob did. and once i figured out what they were, life was a lot more bearable. i still wish they came with a manual or something. all 3 of them are so different.

CantWait replied: Well Robbie didn't have too many of these. But when he did, I just walked a few feet away where I could still see him and waited till he finished. It usually only lasted a couple minutes.

Good Luck!!!!!!!

jem0622 replied: Whenever either of the boys throws a tantrum or loses it then we leave. No talking about it or making a scene. Just leave. When you are at home and they start in with a tantrum...then observe and be sure that they aren't harming themselves or in any danger and let them get it out but do not feed the fire. KWIM? It's tough.

HUGS
Julie

Sandra replied: I sympathize with you. I have two children ages two and five. My toddler just had a huge fit in the grocery store yesterday! I find the best way to deal with it is to be prepared. Bring along a few toys or a snack and this usually draws their attention away from their tantrum. If this doesn't work, just leave. Don't ignore the tantrum for too long, it just upsets you, your child, and everyone else close by. Good luck! Now, can you give me some tips on how to get my toddler past his whining stage?

Sincerely,
Sandra

kit_kats_mom replied: one more thing that you probably already know but I'll throw it out there anyway. Try your best to schedule outings right after a nap/snack or morings.

If they are tired or hungry, you are just asking for trouble. Their little brains can't handle it and that can result in a tantrum too.

This really works well for us. I now go to the grocery store almost every other day, so that I have shorter lists, and make sure to plan the trip right after nap and snack. We havent' yet had a real freak out yet. where is that fingers crossed icon????