Thought this was great! - "Dear Abby" type response

Kentuckychick wrote: My mom has had this on the refrigerator for months now from the "Dear Carolyn" column in our paper but I hadn't read it until today and I'm glad that I did. I could not have come up with a better response myself!

D.C. writes;
Dear Carolyn,
I have a question about manners. I say on the metro you should give your seat up to the disabled and the elderly. Last time I checked, women choose to have babies; therefore, they aren't disabled. My friend says they should be afforded the common courtesy. I think I'm already paying for them and their kids (ie; school costs, time away from work) If you can't stand, don't get pregnant.
Who's Right?

A: Try this: Who's kind?


I thought that answer was awesome!

luvmykids replied: That is great!

My mom and I were talking the other day, it seems more and more that just plain courtesy and kindness are harder and harder to come by.

CantWait replied: I don't get it.

mom2my2cuties replied: Poor Marie -

Basically the first person was whining because she thinks she pays for these women who ride the bus while pregnant's children's school, time off work etc and she shouldn't have to allow them to have a seat on the bus/train and her perhaps have to stand. And the question was who was right. I think the response was saying - Who cares who is right - Who is doing what is kind?


I agree - I think that you should give up the seat to the pregnant woman. As a woman who rides the bus, I would certianly like to put a Size 10 boot up the butt of the person who wrote this letter because certainly her parents were lacking in the manners department and she needs a swift kick into some. SURE women choose to get pregnant - but being on your feet when you are pregnant for long periods of time is not safe. At least that is what I have understood - doesn't it lead to vertigo which can harm the baby? As well, on the bus, you are jostled a lot and when you are pregnant, your center of balance is off which is why falls are so common during pregnancy, and it is safer for pregnant women to sit.

CantWait replied:
OH

As for the Vertigo, I had this the first few months of my pregnancy with Robbie. I would get dizzy, black out, and yes I almost fell a few times because of it.

It was nice being pregnant in school because the one time I didn't finish my work, my history teacher told me to sit instead of standing with the rest of the class as punishment. Scary though, as I was in a jam packed mall once when I blacked out

Kentuckychick replied:
EXACTLY!

I would like to add though, that if I were the pregnant woman on the full bus in a seat when a disabled or very elderly person got on... I'd be the one of the first to offer up my seat!

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
That's happened to me. An elderly woman got on the bus I used to take... any NOBODY moved. So I got up (I was about 7 months pregnant at the time) and gave her a seat.

She wasn't one of those "older women" who think that just because they ahve a little bit of grey hair they feel entitled to a seat and stare you down with an evil eye if you don't give her your seat... she was a small withered wrinkly frail thing that would most likely have snapped in two if she was josteld around in the slightest. I don't get it. People are sooo selfish.

Nobody gave me a seat though.

J-rod replied: i dont ride the bus/subway or anything like that....but if i did i would always:

A. give up my seat to elderly
B. give to a pregnant lady
C. give to anyone with a disability
D. probably even give to a woman


i guess its just the way i am...i try to be courtious to people when out in public....

maybe some of my southern coming out in me.

mom21kid2dogs replied: Must be from the Carolyn Hax columun. I LOVE HER!!!!

mummy2girls replied:
ok at least im not alone in this one..

Calimama replied: Haha, that's cute.

redchief replied: The only buses and such that I've ridden on had seats available for all. We're pretty rural so mass transit tends to be lightly used, but I would always offer my seat to an elderly person and a woman in any condition, especially a pregnant woman.

Sometimes it's not so hard to see what's wrong in this world. Simple courtesies simply seem to have vanished.

lisar replied: I love the response... I would give up my seat to a pregnant lady. I've been pregnant I know how it is. I would also give it up to an elderly person or someone with a disability. I would also give it up to someone who got on holding a child. They get heavy. Let her take a break.

mom2my2cuties replied: Lisa you reminded me of something that happened on the bus here the other day - It had JUST started snowing that morning again and well it gets crazy on the buses when it does that. It was PACKED! Well, there was a man who survived polio, who got on the bus, so Andrea & I gave up our seat to him, and since there was only standing room left we were left to stand. Now - imagine a toddler/ preschooler trying to stand on a constant stop and go. I was struggling to hold on to her and no one offered a seat to me. That really irked me because it would have been on thing if Andrea would have been able to be held, but because of regulations, you can't hold them.

redplaydoh replied: I just read this trying to catch up on some I've missed. I ride the bus/train here all the time since I don't have a car. I see the opposite here thank goodness, kids, women, men all offer their seat to elderly or disabled... I've never seen one case when several didn't offer a seat to someone. I even have the same courtesy given to me when others see me travelling with small children. I've had teenagers get up from their seats to help me on the bus with the kids and stroller (last year). It's quite amazing how courteous people are here in that regard.

Maybe it's a European thing...