Thought I'd Give you all an Update on the Borders!

Kirstenmumof3 wrote: Well I've locked everything up, confiscated all the aresol products and made up some household rules. I'm so nervous and scared all the time! I don't like being alone in my house, especially at night! On Friday the counsellor of the student who was huffing called and told me she had sent him to see the nurse. He has some pretty nasty burns on his arm (self induced), so they gave him a cream to put on and bandaged him up and sent him home to us! He was told to change the dressing daily and apply the cream. By Sunday, he still had not changed it, so I had to change his dressings. OMG I've never seen burns that bad before! So I called his counsellor and explained to her what was going on (I left a message and after 3 hours, she still had not called back! So I had DH call her!) His counsellor called the oncall counsellor (who happens to be an old friend of mine) and they basically told us if we were concerned we could bring him into the ER! WTF? DH had been working all weekend! I don't think it was our responsibility to take him to the ER! So DH didn't take him! I told him yesterday morning that he needed to see the nurse at the school! I have such a headache, I'm so tired and I really don't know how much longer I can have this student living in my house! Nothing else has happened, nothing else has gone missing and from what I've observed his not huffing in or around our house! I'm just so scared and I don't feel comfortable in my house anymore! I feel so violated!

Boys r us replied: I'm so sorry that you are having such a hard time with these kids!!!!
I think from all of the updates that I've read about these kids that the counselors are acting very irresponsibly! I guess maybe after a while they become hardened to the bad behavior and it isn't as signifcant to them.

Somewhere along the way, I missed the story of these kids coming to your home, I've read about all of the ordeals they have put you through, bless your heart..but are they foster kids? Sorry, I'm just a little confused!

kimberley replied: ugh! that is awful! have you tried talking to them about getting another student and shipping this boy back to where he came from? sounds like he should be getting professional help and they are doing nothing about it! i would feel unsafe too. i hope you guys find a solution soon.

coasterqueen replied: Ugh, I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Somewhere along the way I think I didn't find out why you take in students. I mean I know you do it to help pay the mortgage but why are hs age kids living with you and not parents?

DansMom replied: It seems like that particular kid should be in a more supervised setting, with round the clock professionals attending to his care. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

My2Beauties replied: This kid needs serious help! He needs counseling and to be in some kind of treatment program. I'm taken aback by the way these counselors are handling the situation, I think they are acting in a very unprofessional manner and need to be reported!!!

Kaitlin'smom replied: its very sad they are not hearing his cries for help. when are they going to help him.....I just hope they do something before its to late

oh and I would keep a journal of everthing.....for your own protection

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Thanks Everyone! To answer some of your questions. The students are Native Canadian and they are in Thunder Bay to go to Highschool. They range in ages from 15-20. We started taking the students in 2001. At that time we started with 2 girls. We only ever wanted to take girls. But last year they gave us boys and actually the boys haven't been too bad, until now. I mean we've had our problems but nothing like this. After Claudia was born, I was not eligable for Maternity Benefits. So we took in an extra student, to help replace my income. Since I am not working this income does help pay the bills. When we applied for a consolidation loan, it was stipulated that we had a minimum of 3 students.

Anyway I've come to the decission that this student needs to go. I'm phoning my DH and letting him know that this can't continue. It will be tight finacially, but I can't live like this anymore!

Your support throughout this whole ordeal has been so wonderful! I can't thank you all enough!

My2Beauties replied: Glad you made this decision, it was just too dangerous with him there! Good luck and let us know how it goes!

MommyToAshley replied:
I think this is the best decision that you can make for your family and for this boy. Your family's safety is what is most important, and this boy does need professional help.

Hopefully you will get another student to replace this border.

coasterqueen replied: ((HUGS)) Kirsten. I've heard of "exchange" programs where kids from other countries come to the US to experience a year or two of our high schools but I've never heard of a program like yours. Do these children have parents?

A&A'smommy replied: ((((BIG HUGS)))) I'm glad you have decided to get him out of your home, I hope that they will replace your student with someone without problems!

Kirstenmumof3 replied:
Yes they have parents. But a lot of these students are being raised by grandparents or other family members. When his father was told by the counsellor what was going on, he didn't seem to be too concerned!

Kaitlin'smom replied: I think its best he goes, hopefully he will get some help.

redchief replied: You've obviously got a lot of love to share. This decision has to be difficult for you to make, but given the circumstances I couldn't agree more. ((Hugs))