This is so irritating.... - stupid post

Maddie&EthansMom wrote: I posted before about a friend of mine leaving another board that I frequent. She posted that she 'Feels left out.' Well, she stayed gone for a day or so. She has a lot of family problems. Her posts are always what I call 'surface posts' She leaves everything on the surface. She talks about the weather, today she commented on the Scott Peterson case, etc. She really doesn't talk about herself. She talks about her ex husband a lot (in that she hates him). She vents about things, but never elaborates or goes into much detail. She flares up one day and we all worry about her. A week later she will pop in like nothing happened and mention a sale she is having on Avon. When we ask her how she is doing she ignores our posts altogether.

We went out a couple of weeks ago (she lives in the Dallas area). After we went out (another friend from the board joined us) that is when she posted that she was leaving the board. Since she has been back she has posted several things to others, but completely ignores my posts or is VERY rude in response.

I'm wondering if I did something wrong that day we went out. I consider myself to be very friendly. I really like her. I have no idea what I could have done. I am very supportive and encouraging (or try to be). I am known to stick my foot in my mouth, but I can't come up with anything. Usually on the board if I don't agree with something I just don't say anything at all b/c sometimes I don't express myself well with words.

Anyway, just wanting to get this out. Sometimes typing just helps me sort thru things.

kimberley replied: aww aimee, i have not known you to put your foot in your mouth at all! you are very sweet and kind. maybe this girl is just jealous. she has a miserable life and to see you... a beautiful, kind, compassionate person who is a great mom and wife and generally has it together... made her look at herself in a negative way. regardless of her reasoning, how she is acting is very immature and hurtful and maybe you are better off without dealing with her. i am sorry you are hurt and know we are here for you

MommyToAshley replied: Aimee, I have to agree with Kimberley. I have never seen you be anything but thoughtful, kind, and giving. You have a good marriage, beautiful children, and you're beautiful inside and out. I only know as much as you have said, but it sounds like this "friend" either does these things because she is jealous or to get attention. I don't know this person at all, but she doesn't sound like a very good person if she could be so mean and rude to a sweetheart like yourself. I am sorry she hurt your feelings, but I doubt it has anything to do with you. It just sounds like she has some issues.

darrylswifeskylersmom replied: i havent been on this board long but u seem very sweet..
im sorry i dont have much more to add.. i have no idea why shewould act like
this.... hope the other ladies can help u out.. but i think your sweet tho!!

gr33n3y3z replied: Aimee I would not loose any sleep over that .... you have been nothing but nice here and so helpful to ppl. maybe you can just say to her what is your problem with me and see how that goes. Feel her out a bit ask certain questions to see what makes her tick. Good Luck

Boys r us replied: Sounds to me like she wanted your friendship all to herself and she was jealous she had to share your attention with another board member!!
I would just call her and ask her...or email..but I reccomend calling b/c of all that can be misconstrued over email!

My2Beauties replied: Aimee you have been nothing but a sweetheart on this board so I don't know what her problem is. Don't let her get to you though, you're better than that! Sounds like she has issues. People like that I just wash my hands of, they're not worth my time or energy!

Kaitlin'smom replied: I would call her and ask her out just the two of you and talk about it, and if nothing gets resolved then let her go, she will be the one to miss out on a great person. Somethines we have to let go of people who do nothing but cause us to much pain. good luck

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Thanks guys. I felt really silly for posting that, but it really bothers me that she suddenly started acting so strange and avoiding me. I take things very personal and tend to wear my heart on my sleeve a lot of times. Thank you for the nice comments. Ya'll are so sweet to me. I e-mailed her and invited her to lunch. Maybe she will open up then. (if she agrees to go). I try to be supportive when she is having 'issues' and I'm not a judgemental person. Our other friend on the board suggested we just let her be and if she comes around fine and if she doesn't oh well. I guess I'm just too compassionate to feel that way. I keep thinking that she is hurting deep down and needs someone. That all could be something she has brought on herself, though. I will pray for her. I don't know what else to do.

Thanks again for replying to my silly post!

DansMom replied: It's taken me a longggg time in my life to really understand that I'm better off without high-maintenance friends and acquaintances. If you are guessing, trying to figure out whether she's mad at you for something you can't remember doing, she is high maintenance. You have two kids and a husband---that's enough emotional work---who has time for headgames like this woman is playing? Like the others here, I find it hard to imagine you offending anyone. I think she's being childish and manipulative for attention, being grandiose and self-absorbed, all those things that scream "narcissism". You can't win with such people, but they love to see you spend time trying. It's what they live for. Walk away, and she'll either come back to you or be gone---no big loss if she's that much work. I hope I don't sound too callous!

Kaitlin'smom replied: it was no way silly.

my oldest siter who we call the dark sister ot the un-sister is the same we just dont get her actions, and i have tried and tried, but its useless she does not want the support or help. I pretty much know she has MAJOR problems and is very unhappy but until she realises that and wants help or support there is not much more I can do, I have finally let her go, I just cant let someone drain me emotionaly, who only cares about herself. Its very sad and hurts me but I had to save my sanity and let go.

I hope she lets you know why she has acted the way she did and is willing to have such a great frind be there for her.

Maddie&EthansMom replied:

Now that you put it that way, I think that is exactly what she is doing. I will not make any more attempts at a friendship with her. I'm really close to the other girl on the board that lives near us and she says the same thing, of course she isn't being ignored like I am....which made me think maybe I did or said something.

Thanks for your thoughts, they aren't callous at all.

coasterqueen replied: I'm sure it's bothering you but I can't imagine you saying something to upset her what-so-ever. Maybe she's avoiding something and in turn is trying to hide it by making it look like she's mad at you.

I would just try not to worry about it.