This is harder than I thought it would be

My2Beauties wrote: I've had so many weird emotions, sad, hurt, all the way to downright angry Last night I went off on Brian, I mean just went off the deep end, I mean granted he made me mad over something stupid he shouldn't have but I got way too carried away and was yelling and slamming doors, he even left for a few minutes and drove around because I made him so mad, I apologized and everything but I've done this twice since I found out. After he came back home he hugged me really tight, later on I was sitting on the couch and he knelt down on his knees and kind of put his head to my stomach and I just started crying, I don't think he meant to put his head there, he did that when I was pg with Hanna and rubbed my belly, I think he was honestly just trying to hold onto me and love on me, but it hurt so bad. I got upset again. It's hard because I'm still bleeding from this, my levels were still at 500 something at the docs yesterday so I have to go back to the doctor next week again, and all this is just a constant reminder, the doc said I could bleed for up to two more weeks and I just want it to be over with.

Did anyone else who had a m/c experience these awful mood swings? I don't want to keep going off on my DH like this.

kayla's mama replied: I had them really bad. All Jason had to do was look at me I would just go off the deep end. It is going to take time. Try to remember Brian is hurting just as bad as you are. The pain will be less as time passes. Hang in there

BAC'sMom replied: Yes Ma'am I sure did! My moods flew from one extreme to another, got depressed took on another job, I worked 70+ hours a week. Just felt sorry for myself and totally lost! My sister gave me a book to read... I thought I had done something wrong, that I had caused my M/C. It really helped me.... but I'll say it took me to years to talk about it with other people. Your husband loves you he is trying to be there for you. LET HIM! Cry, talk, vent get it all out. Otherwise it will eat at you!

(I am tearing up as I say this, and mine was 10 1/2 years ago)

I wish I could physically be there for you. As I told you the other day…. PM me anytime. Honey I have been there!

5littleladies replied: When I miscarried I cried for a couple of weeks. I would think I was getting better about it and then something little would set me off. It's been a year and a half and I still find myself crying at times. It is totally normal what you are going through. I understand you wanting to get back to normal, but please take the time you need to grieve. Brian will understand. Losing a child, no matter what the circumstances, is devastating and you need time to heal.

jcc64 replied: Yeah, LeaAnn, it's normal and predictable. If your hcg levels are still elevated, it's the hormones speaking. My levels took a LONG time to drop, and I bled for 3+weeks.
Just keep explaining it to him so you don't alienate him. You need him right now. Big big hugs to you, hon.

amymom replied:

kimberley replied: i'm sorry you are feeling bad. wish i could hug you in person. i cried a lot the first few months then again as the EDD approached. i actually got really mad at dh for not being as upset as i was... but you have to remember, it is much less real to them because they don't feel or see anything. kinda like your cousin's friend's uncle's neighbor who passed away.. it's like.. ya, that is sad.. but nothing more, kwim? just cry and talk when you need to. we are always here. and maybe you can do something special to remind you of your angel like Shelly writing a letter and putting it on a balloon and releasing it or i planted a rose bush on our angel's EDD. we are here for you hon.

Sarah&Mackenzie replied:

My2Beauties replied: Thank you guys for all of your help. Jeanne, you really bled for 3+ weeks, oh that is just great Yeah my levels are still elevated, they were 700 something on Monday and had only dropped to 500 something on Wednesday. I guess I need to keep the lines of communication open with DH and try to control my fits. I still feel so bad for my little tantrum.

coasterqueen replied:

My2Beauties replied:
I think you just hit the nail on the head Kimberly! I think I am upset with him because he isn't going to go through the emotions I am, he was upset granted, but not as upset as I was/ever will be.

MommyToAshley replied:

I think what you are experiencing is perfectly normal... it's probably partially due to hormones and partially due to the grieving process. It doesn't make it any easier though.

Lost of hugs coming your way. So sorry.

mummy2girls replied: yes its perfectly normal... what i did to help the pain of my losses is... write a letter and attach it to a balloon like kimberely said...

plant a special flower or plant

buy a special candle that is made for those days of remeberence and light them on those days you want to remeber your child

buy a journal and when you need to vent and cry and even smile and laugh just write your emotions down.. make the journal for your angel and keep buyign them when you need to. I have quite a few already!

you will go through alot of ups and downs hun and you will be approached by inconsiderate people. Never believe them when they says the loss is not the same as if it was a newborn or stillborn child. It is the same pain no matter the circumstance! I think its harder when you dont even get to see the child because its a loss of what many parents had. I was lucky in the sense that i was able to hold and be a part of jordans life for 17 days and those few hours with Joshua! I could see what they looked like and smelled like. Its diff with a miscarriage because you just never know what they would of looked like! the unknown of is it a girl? or a boy? Im sorry that this is happening! I would never wish that pain on my worst enemy!

it will make you a stronger person!

Insanemomof3 replied: I am so sorry you are going through this. It is hard, but totally normal.

Halo42101 replied: LeaAnn, I am going through the same thing you are now. I can honestly sympathize with you in this. It is hard and it is very painful. I just want you to know that I am here for you if you need someone.

Hugs & prayers from,
Jessi

jacobsmama replied: I'm here for you too.

My3LilMonkeys replied:

Maddie&EthansMom replied: LeaAnn I'm so sorry. I would agree that your hormones are totally whacky right now and that just contributes to everything else that you are feeling. Explain it to Brian and try to get him to understand that you will have mood swings.

I hope things settle down for you quickly. Don't feel bad..it's out of your control. It really is.