The twins story

Mommy2BAK wrote: ((((A lot of you have already left me such sweet encouraging comments on this on facebook, but since some members here aren't on facebook I wanted to post it here, because while things were going on I really didn't have time to write it all out, but even without knowing everything so many of you were so encouraging to me.))))

In Jan 2008 we found out we were pregnant with twins, in March at 14 weeks we found out they were girls. Once the initial shock wore off we grew very excited for our family to be growing yet again, nearly every day of that pregnancy Larry and I would say to one another "I can't believe we are having twins!" We knew it was time to buy a new house, in April we closed on our new home and quickly settled in. One night in June Larry, Blakely, Ayden and I went to the Willett's to eat snow cones and watch tv, something was soo earie about that night to me, but I couldn't put my finger on it... little did I know my life was about to drastically change the very next day.

The next day I went for my 31 week appt, Dr. Collins decided to check me to make sure I wasn't having any preterm labor symptons, she seemed a little concerned and wanted me to report upstairs to be hooked up to monitors to make sure I wasn't contracting. I walked out and told Larry who was sitting in the waiting room with the kids, I told him I felt fine and was sure it was nothing. We went upstairs and low and behold the moment I was hooked up there came a huge contraction across the screen, contractions were 1 minute apart... I was in very active labor. The next few hours were so scary, I was quickly put in a room hooked up to an IV and was put on a quick drip of MAGNESIUM. If you know nothing about Magnesium let me let you in.... it is a pregnant womans worst nightmare, it is to stop labor but makes you mentally crazy, your body feels like its on fire and you get very sick. I was on a drip of MAG for a week. I was not allowed to step foot out of bed because I would deliver, they made me use a bed pan and I was on a liquid diet, no solids at all. But little did I know yet again, that what I was going through would only prepare me for the emotional roller coaster that the next few months laid ahead.

My sweet baby girls were born on July 2nd at 5:32 and 5:34 am. Via Emergency C-section, that experience in itself was traumatizing. There was no doc and no anestistologist there to deliever the babies, we were waiting for them, meanwhile they strapped me to the table, legs together and arms out to the sides, all alone with only nurses around. I looked at the tiles on that celing and prayed that God get a doctor there fast! As I opened my eyes from my final prayer and cry out for God there was an anesitiologist (Dr. Davis.... never will forget). I didn't get to see the girls for about 5 or 6 hours after the delivery but Larry said they were precious, finally I got to go in the wheelchair to the NICU... they were the most heartbreaking things I had ever seen, so teeny and small. They were in respitory distress due to their tiny underdeveloped lungs. I made Larry walk me down there over and over during the next few days, but the day came that I was discharged, and they were not. Leaving my babies at the hospital was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but I was excited to get back home to Blakely and Ayden. When we got home it was very lonely, we made the daily hour and a half drive to see our girls, even if we could only stay 15 minutes. The twins seemed to be getting better all the time, they were over a week old before we got to hold them, I will never forget that the first day Larry held Addi and I held Avery, they couldn't tolerate it long enough for us to each hold them, only once a day. The day the girls were put in a crib together was one of my happiest days! They had so many ups and downs while there, but overall they were growing and getting stronger!

After 7 weeks they were ready to come home, and we were THRILLED!!! That first day of them being home we kept saying "this is so nice to have everyone here". The 4 weeks the twins were home was so refreshing and fun, they were on apnea monitors that would screech and buzz all the time, but it was worth having them home. After 4 weeks Addison started turning purple on day, we took her to the E.R, that whole ride her apnea monitor was going off and it was a race against time, we were losing her.... they offered to meet us on the road with an ambulance but we were racing there and they were waiting on us they rushed her and Avery back (being twins, if one is sick the other will surely follow) we stood by holding avery as we watched them poke and prod addi, they had no choice but to put her on life support because she couldn't breathe on her own. The doctor told me she had RSV and likely got it that very day, he said the best place for her would be Children's Hospital in Little Rock, they sent for a helicopter. Before we knew it Avery was following in Addi's steps and was also on life support. We waited in ICU with them until 4am when the helicoptor arrived. We felt so safe when we saw those 2 crews they sent for our girls, they knew what they were doing and looked at us with faces that told us our girls were in good hands. We had to watch our girls board that helicoptor that early morning as we got in my moms vehicle because there was no room for usto go with them, and we couldn't possibly drive ourselves so my mom drove us. As we got into conway the hospital called and said the girls were there safe but Avery had gotten worse on the flight. Nurses later told me in the PICU (pediatric intensive care unit) that they never will forget our twins coming in on one stretcher, each in their own isolette's. The next few days were pretty solomn, the girls were in medically induced comas, and were totally unresponsive, it was difficult to see....

We had sooo many people coming to visit the twins, and so many nurses and hospital staff wanted to come witness the identical twins, plus the first RSV cases of the years, lol. One day while the docs were in the room for rounds Avery began to flat line, they asked us to leave the room, I took one last look at her and didn't know if I would ever see her again as I was being escorted out. THAT was a looong few minutes waiting outside that door, but we were lucky that doctor Garcia happened to be in the room when it happend. The next day were were called in to speak with the "team". They told us the girls were being split up into different rooms (previously there were in the "suite" together which was very convienent for us) because Avery was going downhill. They told us Avery was being moved to an Ossillator, which is a more advanced form of life support. I hope no one I know has ever known anyone that had to be on this. My daughter was put on a machine that violently shook her on the hospital bed, she laid there in a coma shaking on this bed so hard, it was the worst thing I have ever seen in my life, no parent should ever see their child this way. The very next day they told us it wasn't working and that she was being moved from the Ossillator to ECMO, but we needed to think it over and let them know if that was okay, because it comes with definate risks. I remember looking at that nurse and asking "but what if that doesn't work either?" She told me that was Avery's last option, if ECMO didn't work we would loose her. If you aren't familiar with ECMO I would encourage you to google it. She was on ECMO for 21 days before she started having complications, they had no choice but the take her off (once you come off, you can't go back on). To everyone's suprise she did great!!!! She was still in a medically enduced coma,and was still on a ventillator but was making small strides each and every day. A couple days after Avery came off ECMO Addison was released from the hospital, she was doing wonderful. So we stayed the next few months in Hot Springs at our family's lake house with Addi and the other kids to be close to Avery until she was finally released.

Addison came home around Halloween so we were no longer living at the hospital, but still making the frequent trips to stay with Avery. Eventually Avery was able to be moved out of PICU and into a regular room. I thought what we had been through was so unfair and couldn't believe God would put us through this, then on December 2nd my little brother committed suicide, I then realised that nothing could ever compare to losing someone. The girls were alive, no exactly well, but they were ALIVE and to me thats all that mattered. Its hard to understand when someone takes there own life, espicially to me since he had been to the hospital twice and seen how fragile life could be, but God has since given me the strength to understand that there are things that we were not meant understand, and that is alright. I have peace in my heart, and I know thats what Holden would have wanted for me.

In Jan. Avery underwent surgery to put in a G-tube (button) for her feeds because she couldn't take a bottle, and a week later I got to bring her home. Larry was home with everyone else waiting as I loaded all her belongings (4 months worth of gifts and such). I put her in her carseat and I never will forget that nurse saying (in her sweet southern accent). "Avery, we hate to see you leave-- but we are so glad your able to go" I drove out of that parking lot tears streaming down with a huge smile on my face. It was bittersweet for me, these people had saved not just one but 2 of my children's lives, and it was the last place I ever saw my brother. As we drove home that night I felt like I had just finished reading a long book, I knew the story wasn't over, but it was about to be a sweeter part 2.


I truely have the GREATEST family and friends, God placed each one of them in my life so perfectly! I couldn't have made it through with out the love and support of all those around me, soo many pitched right in where I needed them. Churches and other organizations took up offerings for us and people brought us food. Sometimes, when you least expect it, you find out just how good others can be. When I needed to be home people came and sat at the hospital with the girls, when I couldn't be home, others picked up where I wasn't able to. And there will always be a special place in my heart for all of those who prayed for our family. So Thank you!

stella6979 replied: I just read it on myspace and it brought tears to my eyes. You all have been through so much and I truly do admire your courage and strength.

luvmykids replied: Oh Tamara, based on the bits and pieces we were able to hear I knew things were serious but had no idea HOW serious and what you all went through moment by moment....isn't God GOOD! I'm so sorry for the things you had to endure and see but am utterly grateful that your babies are home and well again. You and Larry are amazingly strong

MommyToAshley replied: I too only knew bits and pieces of what was happening. I had tears running down my face as I was reading what you've been through. I am sorry it has been such a rough, scary and traumatic road, but I am so happy that your girls are home safe where they should be and thankful that you had the support you needed at the time.

moped replied: Tamara, you are an amazingly strong woman. I had many tears reading your story, and I am so glad that the next chapter is going to be so much sweeter. I hope everyone is doing well

~Roo'sMama~ replied: Oh Tamara, I knew it was bad but I had no idea how bad! I'm so glad it's over and you have your sweet healthy baby girls!

My2Beauties replied: OMG I had no idea it was so serious Tamara. I am so sorry you had to undergo such horrible tragedies but I am so thankful that Avery and Addi are ok

boyohboyohboy replied: Tamara, God Bless you and your family.
what an amazing story that brought me tears just reading it.
I am so thankful that you are blessed with such wonderful little babies..I pray that everything goes smoothly from here on out.

holley79 replied: Thank you for sharing your story. I am sitting here with tears and everyone looking at me kind of crazy. You and your family are very strong and have prevailed through much.

Calimama replied: I had no idea it was so serious. Those girls are so lucky for many reasons, but one of them is having such a positive, uplifting mommy.

coasterqueen replied: Parents shouldn't have to endure so much pain, neither should children. Your children are blessed to have wonderful parents and all of you are blessed to have such wonderful friends and family to help you through a difficult, stressful time. I'm happy that you have your family all at home with you now and they are all healthy.

Boo&BugsMom replied: God made you so strong Tamara. Wow! Blessings to you and your family. Thanks for sharing.