Thanks for Help - More info on me

Char Lee wrote: Hello, thank you once again. This site does seem more helpful to me . I was on the "babynet" but it seemed like everyone had friends and no one wanted anymore. Dont get me wrong I do have friends but right now until I find out things are fine with the baby I need to keep it to myself. I should tell all of you that I live in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Here I working in an Accounting Firm where I am self employed. Which means that I also do not get maternity leave. Money does scare me but I have been on a strike budget for years even after I got extra money coming in. So I think I will be fine. The only thing I worry about is child care but that can be fully worried about after the baby is born.

I do hope that if me and the father are not together after the baby is born that some day he will decide to see he or she. He has two children of his own and one step child. All ranging from 13 to 18. I know someday these children will want to meet he or she. (I really need to know which it is he or she). Like you said it is in his court. i will do anything I can to make him realise what he has here. I think his problem is he is scared that he may not be able to date again.

Here is our story: In October '03, we met. We talked on the phone for weeks ahead of time and then met. During the first few months it was like we were in a fairtale. We wanted to be together always. He has a fedish with pregnant woman. They turn him on. Anyhow, he started to ask me to have a baby with him towards the end of December. I was scared. I still thought I did not know him as well as I should of. In January, I was sick alot, but but the end of the month I seemed to get better. When I seen the doctor she said that there was traces of a baby but that it was gone now. This was hard for Kevin to hear. For me, I have been through it too many times to grieve everytime. Then he pushed even more. By February, I felt the same that we should try to have a baby. Now that he found out I am pregnant, he says he is the donor and did it for me. He knows how much I wanted a baby. Which I did but with a father. We still see each other on weekends and he seems to be into the pregnancy but before I go home he always adds, you are a single mom now. I do not get him. I want to keep being friends with him for the baby. With asking him for money, well he pays his ex wife a bundle and told me he doesnt want me to screw him with money. All I can hope is that someday down the line I can ask him if I can stay with him while off from work and he will find the situation good. I do not want to force him to pay me. But I do want him there for the baby.

So that is my story. I will need some good friends. I still have heartburn like crazy and so tired that I feel I could sleep for hours which I dont. I am not nausaous anymore, which is a benefit. I cant wait to see the baby on the ultrasound. Should I get a picture of it? What is your opinions on finding out the sex? Thanks guys.

MommyToAshley replied: Hi Char Lee!

I hope things work out the way you want with the father of the baby.

As for the sex of the baby, I had to find out! I am not good with surprises or waiting. The U/S tech told us on the very first U/S, but we ended up having 4 more U/S throughout my PG and each time I had them confirm that Ashley was a girl.

Whether you find out the sex or not, be sure to get a picture! You'll be looking back on that picture for years.

Char Lee replied: I think I will get a picture. Also i will find out what sex it is. or I would like to know because by raising it on my own I will need to prepare a little sooner than a married couple who want to be surprised. I let eveyone know at that time.

How far along were you with Ashley when you found out she was a girl? I should be 11 wks and 3 days when the U/S on May 31. I hope they can tell. Thanks

Kaitlin'smom replied: Hi and welcome.

Just wanted to welcome you to the board, and to let you know this is a great place for support, and friends. Hope we get to know you better!

Char Lee replied:
thanks Di, I am already finding that already. I will need emotional support considering every evening I get bored and start thinking. No worries, it will get better. I would go out and do something but right now we have snow. Not a lot but I hate snow.

jcc64 replied: Hi Char Lee. Congratulations on your pg. It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life in addition to the pg, and I hope things work out for you. Take good care of yourself, and feel free to post here with any questions, concerns, etc.

A&A'smommy replied: Hey!
Congratulations on your pregnancy. I found out with my little girl when I was about 16 or 17 wks and then for sure at my 20 wk app. I hope that things work out they way you want them to with the father! Welcome!

Char Lee replied:
Thanks Jessica, I hope they find out earlier with me but if not I will have to get another U/S in a month or so. I talked to the father this evening on messenger and he seems more towards accepting it. he wants to take me out to buy some materinity clothes. This was good evening. He said if he would see the baby he would not be able to let he or her go. So of course my plan is to show him pictures and take her or him to him.

Everyone else have a good day tomorrow. I probably wont be on until evening.

aspenblue1 replied: Hi and welcome!

Congrats on your pregnancy! I found out I was having a girl around 24 weeks I think. I hope things work out with the father. I look forward to getting to know you better.

jem0622 replied: Nice to *meet* you. I found out with my boys around 16-18 wks. Same with my birthdaughter. I plan to find out this time. Sorry that you are having a tough time with the biological father. I don't know if you should make him financially responsible or just have him relinquish all of his rights with a point of view like that. My sister is a single parent. My nephew is 10. It is really tough for him to have his Dad around b/c he comes and goes in his life as he pleases and it really messes w/ my nephew's emotions. Not fair or right at all. HUGS to you.

Unload whenever you need!

coasterqueen replied: Congrats on your pregnancy! I hope everything works out the way you want them to between you and the father.

If it were me, , I'd want a pic of the baby and I would HAVE to know the sex. There's no way I could wait 9 months. I don't know how people do it.

Welcome!

Char Lee replied: Thanks ladies, you are making me feel so needed. I dont know what I will do about the father but I will keep you all informed.