Tamara - Extremely sad and sensitive subject
kit_kats_mom wrote: Not to be a downer....but any of the old PC mommies who remember Tamera (Blakely's mom)..the lovely girl who married Larry awhile back and things were looking up? Her brother commited suicide a couple years ago and she'd really struggled with that?
Well, she's a friend of mine on facebook and apparently she shot herself last night.
RIP Tam and I'm hoping your babies do not have the same terrors that you've had to deal with.  that just breaks my heart. What a waste
luvmykids replied: OMG OMG OMG  I just saw a photo of her tagged with "Rest In Peace" and couldn't figure out from her page what the he*% was going on so I came here and am in shock. Wow....I am so heartbroken for her and her wonderful family left behind. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of them. Poor Larry and those babies
I knew at times from her posts on fb that she was struggling but it still seems so out of the blue, she seemed to happy and cheerful most of the time 
kimberley replied: omg!! i had no idea she was in so much pain. praying for those babies and the family.
Crystalina replied: OMG!!!
I haven't been on PC forever but I just happened to click on her page and I didn't realize that SHE was the one who had passed!
OMG, I don't know what to say. I am literally feeling sick to my stomach right now. Her poor babies!!!!!
kit_kats_mom replied: It's unbelievable.She was such a viberant young woman with such a lovely, life embracing smile...I just cant imagine how her family must feel...what an awful loss. I saw the posts and PM'd one of her friends to find out what happened. It makes my sink full of dishes that I was just complaining about seem so insignifigent.
MomToJade&Jordan replied: I was just on FB myself and saw all of the posts so I came over here to see if anyone knew what had happened. I am just shocked and saddened. Somewhere in my memory box is a card she sent me during on of the exchanges we did while I was living in Hawaii. I just can't believe it. My heart and prayers go out to Larry and her babies. How very tragic.
stella6979 replied:
Same here!
All the postings I've seen from her on Facebook always seemed so upbeat and positive, it's hard to believe that this is true. I am absolutely heartbroken for her Husband and children.
Crystalina replied: I'm not her and I don't' want to judge but what could have been that bad to make her do that? She has such a beautiful family, I just can't imagine what could have caused her to leave her children that she loved so much.
kimberley replied:
i feel the same way. her positivity actually reminded me to focus on the good things. it just doesn't make sense. she seemed so happy. strong in faith, in love with her family.. her smile was contagious. it just can't be!
Crystalina replied: I just wen through all of her pics and I am crying! Those poor kids!!! There lives have forever changed and I am so sad for them.
God, I can even type.
Crystalina replied: ....the day before Mother's Day.
kit_kats_mom replied: I honestly do not know Crystal, and I'd hope never to know. She struggled with her brothers suicide (it was suicide and not an accident right? my memory does kind of suck) ...maybe it was some sort of of mental illness? I can only hope that the "curse" ends with her. That smile was way to beautiful to throw away. I pray her babies are able to deal with the loss of thier mother and go on to have fulfilling lives....it does happen.
I have a wonderful friend now whos mother commited suicide when she was 26 (my friend was 6). She now has 3 wonderful children and although she struggles with depression, she is determined to not leave that legacy for her babies.
kimberley replied: how old is Emma Kate? she can't be more than a few months
moped replied: This is the worst news......I hope Larry and the kids can eventually deal with this and learn to live a normal life - so sorry to hear this.
stella6979 replied:
I went back and looked at her myspace blog about her brother after he killed himself and that makes it even harder for me to understand. I will keep my thoughts to myself about this and just say that I am truly saddened for her family. I can't even imagine what they are going through and you are so right Crystal....those babies lives have changed forever. They will never be the same, especially Blakely as she is old enough to know what's going on and will be the only one who will truly remember her.
Crystalina replied:
Yes, his was a suicide also.
I'm sure you're right, nobody who is in their "right" mind would leave so many beautiful kids behind and I hope she is the last of her family who take such a tragic end.
Crystalina replied:
She was born in Nov I think.
luvmykids replied:
I think this is what is so shocking to me too....she radiated love for her family, so hard to imagine what in the world could lead to leaving them behind
moped replied:
kimberley replied: i remember comiserating with her when she was about to leave Blakely's dad and she had the faith and strength to move on alone. this really is hard to believe. i want to think it must be an accident or murder or something other than suicide because the Tamara i saw would never purposely leave all those gorgeous kids she fought so hard to keep safe.
Crystalina replied:
I know!
This is the most shocking part (it being a suicide). She knew the pain she had with her brother. I remember her posts on here and how sad she was as anyone would be. I can't see her leaving that same pain to fall on her husband and children.
It's unimaginable.
Calimama replied: It's so awful. She was such a beautiful, sweet girl.
MomToJade&Jordan replied: I'm wanting to think the same thing Kimberly. I am just...having a hard time wrapping my mind around this.
luvmykids replied:
It is nothing but unimaginable....I know it would sound crazy to anyone who hasn't been part of a forum like this to be so rocked by the news of a person you've never met but I just can't put the pieces together and when I think of Larry and the kids and the Tamara we knew, I just can't make it make sense. I am devastated for Larry....the death of your wife would be insanely heartbreaking on its own but to have to explain it to Blakely and then try to raise five kids....my heart hurts just thinking about him.
kimberley replied: could it be PPD? i shamefully admit i attempted the unthinkable after my third. PPD never hit me until 6 months post partum. we know to watch for it now but i didn't know it could happen so long after birth then.
Crystalina replied:
I never thought of that.
Swood75 replied: This is the saddest news I have heard in a long time. I am like several of you and just can't wrap my head around it..I wand to cry for Larry and the kids and I also feel sick to my stomach..
MomToJade&Jordan replied: PPD crossed my mind as well. After struggling so much with her brother's suicide I just can't imagine her doing this herself.
Crystalina replied:
I've never dealt with that so I can't judge anyone who has. I can say a zillion times "how could she have..." but I have no idea what she was feeling when she made that decision. She seemed so upbeat right up to the day it happened. I don't know how PPD affects you, does it switch your mood so quickly? I thought it was more of a gradual thing.
luvmykids replied: That thought crosed my mind too because it just doesn't make sense otherwise. I didn't know PPD could strike this far after birth. Even that still doesn't jive with how hapy she always loked and sounded though
stella6979 replied:
Unfortunately things aren't always what they seem.
MomToJade&Jordan replied: I never had PPD myself, but my mother had it so bad with my brother that she had to be put on something. I have never sat down and asked her why she made that decision. Suicide is one of those things that always seems unexpected. It has touched many people in my life, including my youngest brother. He had a friend in highschool who took his own life and no one saw that coming. The upbeat side could have been a mask for what they were feeling on the inside. Sadly we will never know. The shock is starting to wear off and is leaving me drained and disillusioned. I have been through some very dark times in my life, and yet I have never really considered anything like this. It was my faith and my children who kept me in the here and now. My heart is just breaking for those babies.
kimberley replied: for me, PPD was an all-consuming monster but other people seem able to put on a brave front. a friend from school just went through this is january. his wife was a counsellor and she killed herself 6 months post partum. cause.. untreated PPD. another baby girl without a mama.
luvmykids replied:
I know, that all seemed so genuine though, I never heard her "down" about anything other than her brother; through all the medical stuff with the twins, getting pg again so soon, etc even then she had such an amazing attitude and her fb page always had comments from people IRL that didn't contradict that. I know we all put on brave faces but her passion for her family seemed so much more than that and it's hard to imagine someone could have faked that for so many years.
I'm with you Carrie Ann, I am so bewildered at the whole thing and I don't mean it at all judgmentally....it's just so hard to imagine what would bring someone especially like the Tamara we knew to make the choice to leave their children. Which just adds to the sadness for Larry and then him having to try to explain it to them someday.
I did notice a comment on her fb page a few days ago after she and her sister had hung out, her sister said she was always there for her. In hindsight there must have been more to that.
kimberley replied: can't sleep thinking about those babies.
punkeemunkee'smom replied: Tamara and I were friends off the board and I am sitting here at a total loss...she was totally in love with her kids and husband! None of thismakes any sense.I just talked to her...
My heart is broken for those babies
punkeemunkee'smom replied: I am not trying to question anybody and I may have missed the answer but Carry how do you know she shot herself? I am sorry if you already answered that but I just keep going over and over our last conversation and there was nothing amiss....I don't want to message Larry rihgt now but are you sure this was not an accident of something else?
CantWait replied:
I couldn't agree with this more and I'm in shock right now
Many prayers for her family that they can get through this strong. 
amymom replied: This is incredibly sad.
I am shocked.
I can totally understand though how one can put on a front to all. Depression is a very difficult thing to understand if you have never been there. The mind has thoughts that we would not expect. Whether her depression was ongoing or PPD does not matter, I believe. The horror is the same. Sometimes you just want the pain to stop.
Oh My! My prayers are out to Larry and the children.
mckayleesmom replied: OMG....I just can't believe it. Even after her brother and struggling I still can't believe that Tamara would do that. I thought her love for her kids and larry would keep her heart cushioned. I just can't believe she would do this. I could see an accident or something, but I just can't grasp that she committed suicide...to hard to figure out why..
boyohboyohboy replied: what absolutely tragic news. I am at a loss for words.
mom21kid2dogs replied: Such tragic news. This one is still so hard to grasp when one has children. Stephen's cousin committed suicide many years ago, leaving a beautiful wife and 4 adorable children ages 5-3 months. Their family struggled for alot of years but fortunately had alot of emotional and professional support. His oldest is a senior in HS and they all seem to be doing well. I wish the same for Tamera's family.
kit_kats_mom replied: I PM'd one of her friends who'd posted and was told that she'd shot herself. I suppose she could be wrong since things get confusing after a loss like this, but I doubt she would have just made it up.
luvbug00 replied: OMG i just woke up and read this on FB litterly almost vomited fron crying and then came here to read what happened..
I know just how she must have felt when i almost took the same route..when your that low, there is no thought of anyone or anything but pain. You want it to go away. fpr some it's just too. much..
Nina J replied: This is such tragic news. Such a vibrant, memorable lady. I can't imagine the pain and sadness she must have been.
God bless Tamara's family, give them strength and courage.
PrairieMom replied: I am just sick. How incredibly tragic. I woke up at 2 to feed charlie and was catching up on my FB updates and found out. I couldn't sleep the rest of the night. Her poor kids. And husband.
jem0622 replied: I have not been over here in a bit, and I kept in touch with her through Facebook. I cannot believe that this happened. I am in shock and so sad. Her children, her husband. I just cannot believe this.
booey2 replied: I too have been away far too long from here and saw the news this morning on FB. I am just in shock, I never got the chance to have a IRL meeting or speak with her but always believed she was a very strong person, especially with all the hardships and trials she had been through the past few years. May God watch over those she left behind and give her husband the extra strength and love he will need over the next years.
Terri
PS thank you for filling in the details I had no idea what had happened and knew that if I popped in here someone would have more info. Thanks again.
boyohboyohboy replied: I cant stop thinking about Tamara today either..
I keep thinking I want my hugs to my friends and family to linger longer today and be extra tight..
I knew Tamara when I was having trouble with Andrew, he had to stop Bfing, and she was helping me get thru the guilt of stopping and getting him to take a bottle when he just refused..she helped me thru those long days and nights of crying kids and crying myself..
she even sent me all her Dr Browns bottles to help us get started..
she over nighted them to me to help andrew...
which worked.
tamara was such a nice woman who seemed so devoted to her family, especially her children. I will miss her friendship.
amynicole21 replied: my God. I can't believe this. I had to come and see if it was true My heart is broken.
Mommy2Isabella replied: So sad for her family and Larry and their BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN!
I looked on her sister's FB page and it says " Alisha Daugherty I just don't understand how this much misfortune can happen two times in my family please keep us and definately my dad in your prayers!
5 hours ago via Facebook for iPhone"
Which leads one to assume it was a similar situation to her brother's. Illness like this could run in the family, coupled with PPD, and let's be honest having 5 kids 5 and younger has to be pretty taxing.
My prayers will be with her family and I PRAY her children don't suffer with the thoughts like Tamara did.
ediep replied: OMG! just saw the news on FB and I had to come over here to check... I can't believe this!! How sad!
ediep replied:
totally true
Our Lil' Family replied: OMG, I am in complete shock! I just have no words. I feel like she was such a dear friend even though we never met in person.
My2Beauties replied: I am in total shock and disbelief. I haven't been on PC in a while but I keep up to date with things mostly on FB and when I saw this my heart dropped into my stomach, I got chills and I immediately began to think about what a wonderful person she was. I believe I still have some PM's in my inbox that she sent me giving me advice and she was such a happy person it seemed. I always looked forward to her posts and her updates on FB and her smile was just so absolutely gorgeous! I can't fathom the pain someone has to be in to take their own life especially when they have such a beautiful loving family. My life has been turned upside down lately due to my seperation but the thought of suicide has never ever crossed my mind and I don't see how it can get so bad, I will hopefully never find out, but one can only imagine how painful that had to be for her and my heart breaks for her now and honestly while she was alive, who would have known she was dealing with so many demons. I am not sure if her mother is still alive but her poor family OMG to have lost 2 siblings to suicide is awful! Bless her babies and her loving husband, you could look at pics and tell he doted on her! My heart is breaking, I can't stop thinking about this. And to believe I was going to go on FB and was about to make an update whining about something so insignificant!
3xsthefun replied: Such sad and tragic news. I found out this morning. I'm in shock I can't believe she is gone.
Kirstenmumof3 replied:
This is such tragic news! I remember Tamera, she was such a good mother, a really upbeat person. My thoughts and prayers go out to her family and friends. RIP Tamera!
Kimberley I understand what you went through, I too have attempted suicide. Sometimes you think you're doing your whats best for your family. I know it doesn't explain it. But maybe she was depressed.
punkeemunkee'smom replied:
It could also mean the loss of 2 children to her dad....Just sayin! I really will not speculate until I am sure that this is what happened...I talked to Tamara and this was not something that I would have ever believed would happen.....I am still thinking that there must be some mistake!
boyohboyohboy replied:
I am praying you are right!!!!
mummy2girls replied: This is makes me so sad all in one... Im sad that her husband and those poor babies were left behind. I feel so sad for them I just can't wrap my head around what her husband and kids are dealing with right now and the youngest baby will never know her mom... and it saddens me to think why she would even think to do that... it must of been so bad. We can all sit and wonder why did she? how can it get that bad? etc etc etc. I also am angered that she would do this. I don't understand PPD that well , so i don't know if that is the cause. the suicide of her brother could be another factor as well. BUT it still angers me that she could even do that and leave those babies behind and a loving husband. but i guess we all had to be in her shoes and head to really know what would of brought her to this decision:(
my2monkeyboys replied: I know depression can cause you to do things you'd never ever think of doing. I also know she loved her kids more than anything.
It's just such a terrible tragedy....
kit_kats_mom replied: No matter what the circumstances were, the world has lost a special person who touched all of us. Abbie, thank you for updating the topic for me and since you seem to be the closest to her, if you could find out an address for me to send something to the family, I'd appreciate it.
boyohboyohboy replied:
If there is an address that can be posted, I too would like to send something to the family..
coasterqueen replied: OMG, I am in complete shock. I got up just minutes ago because I've been in a medicated stupor all night and morning long -- I'm so sick -- and so I thought it was all the drugs in my system making me read things wrong. That's not the case I just can't believe this. I just can't. I still can't understand my aunt's suicide, especially since she was such a religious person and so close to God.
My heart, prayers, thoughts, go out to the entire family. I am just speechless.
lisar replied: It just brakes my heart to hear about this. I seriously read what happened and thought I was growing to throw up. Those babies, thats all I can think about. I dont know what was going on inside her, but I those babies will someday understand and not have the same demons as her.
I just cant stop thinking about the babies.
lisar replied:
Ditto, if you get the address I would like to help. Please let me know.
mummy2girls replied: im sick to my tummy to think who found her:(
PrairieMom replied:
yeah, the more I think about it, the sicker i feel.
mckayleesmom replied: I will check and see if I have her address in the phone tree info.
mckayleesmom replied: I don't have it....I think that might have been around the time her babies were in the hospital so she probably never saw me ask for them.
CantWait replied:
Please.
~Roo'sMama~ replied: Omg, I'm sitting here in shock and disbelief. I just can't believe it! I have always admired Tamara and her beautiful family... I just can't believe she's gone and her precious babies will grow up without their mommy! My heart is breaking for her family right now!
Jamison'smama replied: I will be praying for her family. This is just too sad for words.
MommyToAshley replied: I just found out this morning, and I am still in shock and my heart is aching for her and her family. She had sent me the sweetest message a little before Mother's Day and I just can't wrap my head around all this. My prayers go out to her family, especially her babies. I just can't imagine...
As for an address, I have her old address but not her new one.
moped replied:
I totally think it could have been severe PPD........which is so sad because she could have gotten help.
Mommy2Isabella replied: I messaged Larry on FB to see if there was an address where we could send something to them.
I will let you guys know if he responds.
My2Beauties replied: I haven't even been able to really work today because I can't stop thinking about her! I'm so saddened by this, I really don't understand how it could be that bad! I really really don't, poor Tam, she had to be hurting so bad I am so saddened for her poor husband and her kids, when I look at her pics I just wanna bawl my eyes out! I don't think Tamara realized what a lovable, sweet person she was! I am completely and totally just numb right now, I will never begin to understand
moped replied: Please let us know if there is a contact or address or something........
luvbug00 replied: [QUOTE]I haven't even been able to really work today because I can't stop thinking about her![QUOTE/]
me either..i keep having to go to the bathroom and cry. I cant even begin to wrap my mind arround this.
coasterqueen replied: I'm not sure we will ever be able to wrap our heads around this or ever make sense of this. Only she and God will ever know, IMO. I have spent YEARS trying ot make sense of my aunt's suicide. Every time I try to make sense I fall deeper down a hole of unanswered questions that I stopped thinking. Tamara was like my aunt -- just seemed to have THE perfect life. Even those so very very close to my aunt didn't know she was hurting so badly that she had to take her own life.
I personally know about suicide, because I tried when I was a teenager. After I attempted I freaked out -- a voice in my head told me it was not the right thing to do and the burning smell in my nose from my attempt will always be with me. I was able to get out of what I was in and call for help.
I just wish Tamara would have heard that voice like I did 
Danalana replied: I don't even know what to say
punkeemunkee'smom replied: I do have her address but she was very protective of it...I would not feel right posting it. I will see what I can figure out.....
boyohboyohboy replied:
at one point when Tara collected money when the twins were sick she used a pay pal account, maybe something like that, and you could send it to her family?
MommyToAshley replied:
I kind of thought the same thing... not sure she (or her family) would want her address posted publicly. What would you think about taking up a collection and sending flowers to the memorial from all of us. Maybe we could pass along our condolences to you to pass along to the family?
gr33n3y3z replied: Depression no one can understand nor can they ...... they have no feelings only numbness and nor do they know right from wrong.
God Bless you Tamara Rest In Peace With Holden
Larry If you read this Forgive her (((hugs)))
moped replied:
I would be interested in this
A&A'smommy replied: I read all your posts first....
I'm SO SO SO heartbroken for her family.... and for loosing a friend.
Depression is one of those things unless she allowed anyone to see it can e hidden VERY well... BTDT. I had very bad depression after having Autumn and it lasted a little over a year... it came and went with the days I never felt the same from one day to the next.. or even one minute to the next I SHOULD have reached out for help but I did not, it did FINALLY get better on its own. Tamara may not have been able to hold it together anymore, I HOPE it wasn't suicide but if it was i'm SO SO sorry she felt so bad!!!
MomToJade&Jordan replied:
This is a good idea Dee Dee.
Kirstenmumof3 replied: I've been trying to distract myself today, as many of you are probably trying to do. But my thoughts go back to Tamara and her family. Those beautiful children, just lost their mother and I don't know, this is really affecting me. I would like to do something for her family. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know.
MoonMama replied: I am at a total loss of words. My heart is breaking for Larry and those babies, and her entire family right now. My thoughts and prayers go out to them.
jacobsmama replied: I haven't been here in a long while either. I do miss you gals, the support here is amazing! This thread alone goes to show you how much we can all be here for each other.
So many people go through things and we have no idea, what they are going through...some peole are very private.
I will be praying for her entire family.
Hugs to you Abbie I know she was a good friend to you.
Kristi
Boys r us replied: I am so beyond heartbroken! She and I kept up on FB and I am just sick at this and I, too, keep going back to the fact that this CANNOT be right..this can't be! I didn't see the news until today..and thank god Rick was home to sit with me as I cried b/c I just lost it..she was an absolute gem..a beautiful person inside and out and I can't believe that she's gone..and beyond that, I can't believe that she took her own life. My heart is broke in a million pieces by the thought of the pain she must of been silently hiding behind that gorgeous smile of hers.
5littleladies replied: I haven't been on here in a very long time, but I had to check in upon hearing this.
Tamara was such a sweet person-I cannot imagine what her family is feeling right now and I can only pray for God's comfort for them in this difficult time.
Tamara, you will be missed!
sparkys2boys replied: Such a sad sad loss. She always seemed like she was so upbeat and happy. Just goes to show that we do not aways know the person we think we do. She must of had such great hurt going on in her life. Prayers for all of her family.
Our Lil' Family replied: Still in such shock over this but can't help but have a heavy heart to know how horrible she must have felt. In my mind it had to be something mental, PPD, depression, something and it had to have been bad. What a horrible thing for anyone to go through. I can't imagine the hours that led to her taking her own life, how much pain she must have been in.
mummy2girls replied: I am still in shick too. I just can not believe she took her own life. I keep playing that in mhead... I would sit here and complain because its 8pm and all i want to do is go to bed but i had a house to clean and get ready for tomorrow and then i would kick my self for even complaining because of what is happening right now to a husband and 5 kids:( He has more to be upset over then me right now:(
There is this feeling in my stomach like a huge lump that wont go away because all i keep thinking is... who found her? PLEASE don't let it be those kids:( or any of them. Not that i would of wanted her husband to find her but i think it would be more tragic if one of the kids found her. Marcus keep telling me that usually when someone does this they usually have the kids in mind so she probably would of done it where they could not of found her. But still it shouldnt of happened. Its so tragic in many many ways!
Mama~Love replied: I am so sorry to hear this tragic news . I'm still in shock, and couldn't hardly sleep last night thinking about her & her family. She will be very missed. I can't understand why she didn't reach out for help; she had so much to live for. She must have been fighting some mighty evil demons on the inside.
jem0622 replied: All I kept thinking about when I went to sleep last night was her babies...crying for her. Needing her. I am so terribly sick and sad. I was so nauseous yesterday. I cannot even imagine what Larry is going through. I pray that he has a lot of family/friends to support him and give hugs to these kids. They need hugs every day. A mother's love and presence is something that means so much.
I had also sent Larry a message and asked how anyone could help. I am hoping that someone posts something to her page about some sort of fund for the kids.
moped replied:
Please let me know if you hear something. I won't send anyone in her family a message, they probably have enough, so if you find anything out can you let me know?
jem0622 replied:
I will definitely let you know. We are connected on FB, so you make get a message from me there before you get one here.
Insanemomof3 replied: I just have NO idea what to say. I read this yesterday, but can't seem to wrap my head around it. I feel like a family member was lost and I just can't get it out of my mind! I feel so bad for Larry and the kids.
youngmomofone replied: I didn't know her as I very rarely posted when she was an active member here, but it still saddens me to hear about this incredible loss that this community and her family is going through right now.
DVFlyer replied: Just saw this..... how sad.
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