TV in the Bedroom

asharene wrote: My 7 year old daughter wants a tv in her bedroom, which is not going to happen anytime soon. Now I have relatives promising her or nagging me to buy her a tv. I have told her that she is not allowed to have a tv, and when she is ready for a tv, I will be the one to purchase it for her. She is not allowed to accept a tv as a gift from anyone either.

This is turning into a power struggle. What is wrong with these people, promising my 7 year old a tv for her bedroom? Am I the grinch? I don't want a fat couch potato (I AM a fat couch potato, I would like to avoid that with her.)

juliajaj replied: I agree with you that 7 is too young for a TV. I've also heard that pediatricians, educators & child development specialists state there should be no TVs, VCRs, DVDs, computers or phones in a child's bedroom. They feel that the child's bedroom should be conducive to sleep, and these items prevent that.

coasterqueen replied: We decided long ago to make Kylie's room just a room for sleep so no toys or anything of the sort in there. Hopefully we keep this promise to ourselves when she asks for a tv, lol.

A&A'smommy replied: They are forgetting that YOU are her mother! It is YOU thats gets to decide whether or not she gets a tv or not!! I don't have any advice except I believe you oung for a that she is to have a tv in her room! She needs to be active now not sitting around watching tv!

asharene replied: Julia, that must have been the same article I read - the bedroom is for sleep. She does have a LOT of toys in there, she has a cd player (she likes her Sade and Alicia Keys...), but I draw the line at a tv, and I am getting ticked off that I have to keep reminding my relatives that I am the parent - why are you promising a tv to my daughter without checking with me first? We argued (yes, me and the 7 year old) about it for about an hour last night - she says Cousin Terita said she would buy her a tv - I said no, you are not allowed to have a tv yet, she says, but I need a tv, I say, you just had a birthday and if I had wanted you to have a tv I would have bought you one for your birthday because I can afford to buy you a tv and price is not the reason that you don't have a tv in your room. Then, tears and finally a swat on the butt over it, and now I am really the bad guy.

kimberley replied: sorry you are going through this. i agree, some relatives need to learn where their boundaries are. we had this problem with the boys getting sweets before 3yo. people wonder why i never let anyone babysit . now the latest is DH's father is convinced i am ruining Jade by not forcing solids on her yet and i am sure she would have a steak in her hands if i ever left them alone together .(((((hugs))))) i know it is hard to be the bad guy but you are doing the best thing for your DD.

Julie (jem0622) replied: Wow they have no respect for you as the parent here! Come on!

Stand your ground. You don't want her to have one. And I totally concur with that! I don't believe in kids having a tv in their room. I had one in late HS years and that was a heap of junk and no cable either! LOL.

You need to have a serious heart to heart with them. And you need to chat with your daughter and tell her that she ultimately must respect your decisions and that playing people against others is not only disrespectful but not acceptable.

HUGS
Julie

asharene replied: My daughter and I already had the talk - she is NOT allowed to accept a tv even if someone buys her one. There are (I am ashamed to admit) 4 tvs in the house already, she has plenty of access to tv. I was thinking about getting a GameCube, before the tv controversy came up, but now I am thinking that can wait.

It is not actually her playing both sides against the middle, it is my relatives comparing her to her cousin (they are 5 months apart) - this kid is overweight (but slimming down and stretching up) and has a tv, dvd, vcr, and xbox in his room. He can't even play normally when he comes to our house and we have - a tv with Satellite and a few old VHS tapes. (We actually found ourselves explaining to him why the satellite was cut off a few months ago for non-payment of the bill, until we realized how stupid that was - my mom told him it was none of his business and he had better go find something to play with in the toy chest upstairs.)

He couldn't even play for a couple of hours until his mom got out of class one night. He's got gameboy, gamecube, computer games, his grandma (my sister) is talking about getting him a computer for his room (why when they live in a 2 bdrm apt and there's a computer in the living room), she won't listen to me when I tell her how dangerous it is to have a computer in a kid's bedroom.

My kid is a slim and active tomboy and I want her to stay that way.

jen replied: OMG! I can see this coming my way! I really feel for you! I am going to go through this.................so remember everything you did to put them in their place, OK!??!!

You are the parent,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,END OF SENTENCE. Tell them that you don't appreciate it and they need to bud out unless they want to come and be a full time Nanny at your house!

Your post does kind of carry a tone to it that your DD is playing both sides, maybe try and put a stop to that! Just my opinion!

Hope things get better!!!

and I wouldn't think of yourself as the bad guy at the end of the day, you are doing what is BEST for her, and her development. It isn't your fault that your relatives have some growing up and development to do on their own!

Best of Luck!

asharene replied: Update: We are watching Drumline for the zillionth time on the 20 year old tv downstairs in the living room. It plays just fine too.

CantWait replied: We were going to buy Robbie (8) a tv for Christmas last year. I'm so glad we didn't. He already watches too much, and I can't imagine how much he'd sneak in if it was in his room

holdensmom replied: The nerve!! You are the parent!!! One of my co-workers allows his 11 year old son a TV in his room. The other day he told me that he went into his kid's room at 1 AM in the morning & there his son sat with the TV on. Watching who knows what!!!!

I am a firm believer. No TV in the room. If need be we will get an extra TV for a "play room" and it will be for games, etc. We have just one TV in our house.

Good Luck!!!

Terri
Holden (4 1/2)