Starting a bad co-sleep habit - having a hard time with CIO

mysweetpeasWil&Wes wrote: Wil has slept through the night ever since he was 4 mos, plus I have never had a difficult time getting him down for naps or bedtime. I just put on a little music and he's out. No crying. But during our vacation last week and now that we're back, he doesn't want to go down. He cries and cries and wakes up maybe once or twice a night. He sounds like he's scared. Angry too. Like he wants to stay up with us or he wants me near. As soon as I walk in his room, he stops. I rub his belly, leave him in the crib, let his eyes close, and walk out. But as soon as I close the door lightly, he starts all over again. So I've tried letting him CIO for maybe five minutes, go in and check on him, and start the process all over again. BUT it's NOT WORKING! So.........instead of letting him cry for long periods of time (which I can't do), I take him into bed with DH and I, let him fall asleep, and then transfer him to his bed. BUT last night we let him stay all the way into the morning. BAD, I know. I don't want this to turn into a bad habit. I don't believe in co-sleeping and I am not against CIO, but I'm very confused as to what to do. I'm having a hard time letting him CIO, but I don't want to pick him up and take him into bed with us either. For now the bed is working, but I know it's going to get harder if I keep it up!!! HELP

mckayleesmom replied: Well neither of my babies ever slept with us unless we were on vacation or something...but when Russell was younger he wouldn't want to be put down period. So when I put him to bed he would throw a fit....I read somewhere that you should comfort him while hes laying in his crib....DON'T PICK HIM UP....till he falls asleep...If he wakes up again...Again..comfort him while hes laying in his crib...talk to him..rub his belly...etc......Eventually they give up because they realize they arn't coming out so they might as well go to sleep...Worked for Russell. Mckaylee always slept through the night .

amynicole21 replied: He may just be teething and in need of some extra comforting this week. I co-sleep with my 2.5yo still primarily for this very reason... everyone just plain sleeps better that way. We could never get her to stay asleep on her crib either. Good luck, and I hope it's a phase that passes quickly.

mckayleesmom replied: OOOH...that could be it too...didn't think of that...Russell has a harder time going to sleep when his gums are bothering him and when Mckaylee teethed she refused to be put down and she normally didn't want to be held that much. Maybe he is teething.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I thought it was teething, but he went in for his 9 mos well-baby checkup today and the doctor checked. She said that he probably won't get any teeth until he's maybe 1. She didn't see any signs, nothing different about his gums. Who knows. Maybe he just misses me more than usual or he is still a little off from our vacation. We had a lot going on while we were gone, new bed every couple days. Plus, we went from Ca (sea level) to Colorado (way above sea level). So the altitude change could be affecting him some. I'm defiinitely going to try and not pick him up tonight. As much as I love him sleeping by me and snuggling, I don't want him to get used to it. Thanks for the advice!

TeagansMom609 replied: This JUST happened to us a couple weeks ago when Teagan was sick and she was waking up a couple times a night with a high fever and I would take her out of her crib, giver her medicine, bottle, etc. Once she was better her sleep habit was so messed up. I had to start all over again. Waking up a few times a night screaming, the same stuff she used to do before we got her into a system. It sucked so bad. So we ended up letting her cry it out. It took about 3 nights just like it did when we did it the first time. But it worked. Now shes back to normal and isnt waking up crying anymore. THANK GOD!

I would try it all over again.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Letting him CIO is so dang hard!! Last night it happened again. He didn't want to go down. I rubbed his tummy and his head and he finally conked out, but it took a long time. But he woke up around midnight too and screamed bloody murder. So my DH and I took turns going in and trying the rubbing his tummy, but it didn't work this time. So again, DH took him into bed with us and transferred him back to his crib after maybe 30 minutes. I suppose this is fine by me if it's working, but I know he's going to get used to it. He loves being in our bed!

How long do you let your kids cry on their own??? I tried letting him CIO longer last night, but I feel awful and just lay there in my bed with my heart at my knees.

moped replied: I did a CIO and it did work and it was HARD, but it worked and always has. But if you can't do it - then don't! I got into the habit when I was bf and I had to stop because I didn't sleep well.............you have to do what works best for you and your family.

I say give him 45 minutes before responding..............sounds harsh but it may work

Good Luck

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Yeouch!

45 minutes does sound a little harsh..... but whatever works, right?

I'm actually doing this with EMilie right now - she STILL doesn't sleep all the way through the night - but she only wakes up for a drink or for her soother, and it doesn't take long to get back to sleep - it's putting her DOWN for the night that takes forever...... so I've started to put her in her bed, and be the meanie and only give her a kiss, say goodnihgt and walk out - I stay at her door - because if she doesn't cry, she gets up and goes to the door, opens it, and comes out of her room..... so we (i) end up putting her back in her bed like 12 times before she actually gives up and whines herself to sleep....

much better than trying to stop her from screaming for 20 minutes, which used to be our M.O.

Anyhoo - any luck?

ZandersMama replied: Every night since my son was born, he falls asleep in bed with me and then once he is asleep he gets moved into the crib. I know most people say its a bad habit, but they are only young once. My husband works long hours and the only time the 3 of us are really together is right before bed. We all get in bed and watch a movie and talk, when he falls asleep hubby gets up and moves him into the crib. We havent really had any probs of him waking up screaming, he just talks to himself and hollars mama or dada until one of us goes and gets him.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Just wanted ya'll to know that Wil has been sleeping fine for the past week...no crying when we put him down in his crib at ALL!! But we have vacation #2 coming up next week...so we'll see how things go when we get back.

moped replied: Those darn vacations always screwed Jack up - BAD!!!!!!!!!!!