Spin off of today's poll (4-6)

kit_kats_mom wrote: What do you feel you do a great job of as far as parenting, and where do you feel you fall short?

I feel we do a great job with keeping it light around here. A sense of humor is so important IMO and we really try to use humor when possible to diffuse otherwise difficult situations. You will often catch us making jokes when it may seem inappropriate to do so, like when someone gets a boo boo. We really try to not dwell on the bad and we focus on the good as much as possible.

I feel like we fall short when it comes to not spoiling the girls. DH and I both come from very poor backgrounds and it's really hard to not get things for them when we have the chance. I find myself buying stuff all the time that the girls don't need and they dont' really appreciate it. They are just such good kids most of the time that I want them to have everything that I didn't. I am working on it....I swear I am.

lisar replied: I spoil the mess out of my girls. I dont see a problem with spoling them as long as you teach them responsibilty and values. They have things that I would have loved to have as a child. I also give them structure, and discipline when necessary. We have a happy home, me and dh very rarley ever argue and when we do the kids are no where present. I give them quality time all the time.

The things I think I could improve on, we dont take vacations enough with the kids. I mean we go camping and things like that but I mean as far as real vacation we dont do enough. I wish I could. But we just dont.

Calimama replied: I think we are fun parents, we are smart, we have a good relationship, and we are stable financially and emotionally.

Her dad is gone a lot. Luckily he will be out by the time she remembers, but right now I remember and that's hard enough. He's an amazing father and hopefully we'll get a non deploying area to work in.

DansMom replied: Daniel knows he's loved and that we like him just the way he is. There's no lack of affection around here, and he seems to thrive on it and develops empathy for others. I also feel I've done really well in taking stock of his medical needs, focusing on the positive (what he can eat instead of what he can't) and helping him grow academically. We read loads of books.

On the downside, we allow too much TV and he's a bit of an addict. Working full time and being the homemaker as well, when I need to get dinner on the table, it's been the easiest thing to let him watch his favorite programs. He cries when I turn it off---and begs constantly for more TV, although he will transition to other things within a few minutes. I still feel like, even when the programming is educational, he's getting too much tube time and that he's bored as a result.

lisar replied:
I am guilty of that one to. When I am trying to cook or clean or something and need to do it I am guilty of letting them watch to much tv so that I can get it all done. I didnt think of that when I posted.

HuskerMom replied: Dh and I are both pretty good with our patience. And we're fun and pretty laid back so it's not hectic around here very often.

We probably spoil Keith too much, especially me. I can't ever leave walmart without buying something for him, usually it's a book or something so that's not too bad though.

jcc64 replied: Wow, what a big question to ponder.
What do we get right? I think we make sure our kids are able to realize their full potential and pursue their passions as far as they possibly can or want to. We turn our lives inside out to accomodate our kids' pursuits- and I think they've really benefitted from it across the board. It's also made us a really close family- we spend ALOT of time together at various sporting events and tournaments.
What do we get wrong? Hmmm, my dh and I both pretty old school about respecting your elders, and we definitely expect our kids to tow the line in this way. Sometimes I think that makes us less approachable- I think my kids would rather keep things from us rather than face the wrath, kwim, and I guess I'd hoped for a more open line of communication with my kids. Then again, the older ones are boys, and not very verbal boys at that, so i'm not sure I could have changed that anyway.

My2Beauties replied: I think sometimes I don't have as much patience as I need to have with Hanna....I have to step back and think to myself sometimes...ok LeaAnn she's only 3 years old, she doesn't realize this is whining, you have to teach her what whining is and why it's not acceptable to whine...etc...for many things. I also tend to let her watch a bit too much TV and she's spoiled rotten, really really spoiled.
I think these are my worst shortcomings as a parent.

I think my positive points are that I'm very open minded, which helps a lot at Desiree's age for sure...she's 11 and is giong through that awkward teenage stage, things are changing and she's discovering herlsef...oh Lord and talking about BOYS now and it drives me bonkers But it also helps me with Hanna because let's face it toddlers can ask weird questions and say crazy things and I think me being open-minded helps me answer their questions truthfully and wholeheartedly at a level they can understand. I don't say it's this way because it is and don't ask me anymore, I'm glad their curious about things and they feel they can come to me. I think DH and I are good because we're always laughing and joking and we hardly ever argue, whenever we do or have argued, the kids aren't usually around. I mean sometimes they are, but that's life, for the most part we've always kept our disagreements between us. I am proud of the both of us for being able to provide a nice home for our children. Neither DH nor myself grew up in nice homes, we lived in poor neighborhoods our whole lives and grew up with nothing at all. We have both decided that we were going to learn from our parent's mistakes and better ourselves. Not that our parents weren't hardworking but you can always stand to learn from things you parents did with their money ya know. I'm so proud that our kids have a nice backyard to play in, live in a nice safe neighborhood, they have a swingset, water slides and trampolines out in the backyard, they have a nice clean home that is comfy cozy. We never had those things. It makes me really proud.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Right now I feel very inadequate in the parental roll right now. My DH knows them all better than I do and has a great relationship with them. I would have no problems walking out the door and leaving them because I know that there dad loves them and will take care of them. He is the much better parent and right now, I'm just not!

CantWait replied: I'm really great at spending time with the kids, getting them to try new things and taking them places.

I definetly fall short on the patience factor.

CantWait replied:
Kirsten, that is SO NOT TRUE.......out of all the months you've been there for Spencer and doing the best you can with being there for the girls....you've done more for your kids then most of us could possibly do in a lifetime.

Kirstenmumof3 replied:
Thank You! Right now I'm having a very difficult time adjusting and it breaks my heart when Claudia runs to her daddy for everything and Emily is just a stranger to me and all of Spencers demands right now. I'm just tired. I know in a few weeks everything will be different. But right now I feel like an outsider in this house.

luvmykids replied: One of the things I'm good at is letting them be kids...I'm pretty laid back so I have no problem with them having a ball in the mud or a paint session turning into a paint each other session. I like that they are allowed to be who they are and feel like they're all really gaining confidence in that. I think I'm pretty good at talking to them on their level, we have a lot of pretty cool conversations. And we laugh a lot together.

I've gotten terrible about TV, since I had to start working from home again there are too many days when I use that to keep them out of my hair. I'm not the best disciplinarian, I have trouble being consistent. I hate that I've been yelling a lot lately.