Spin-off of faithful poll/post - Would you stay?

Bamamom wrote: So if your significant other cheated and admitted it would you stay with them? Why or why not? Would there be mitigating circumstances (ie - how long it went on, was it love or just sex?).


I for one would try to stay and work it out. I made a vow to stay with him till death and, with God's help, would try to overcome the situation. Of course I might feel differently if it had been an ongoing affair that was more of a relationship - ya know?

C&K*s Mommie replied: With tons of thought, prayers and tears it's a hard decision--- but stay
As long as possible. Repeated choices to cheat would mean that our marriage is over..... and that is the end of it.

luvbug00 replied: Brad cheated on me several times ( i found out after the fact...long after) If i had known he would have been gone. if my new boyfriend did it i would leave him as well. married or not broken trust in my eyes is NOT repairable.

Boo&BugsMom replied: It's hard to say. I wouldn't know unless I was actually in that situation. I would WANT to leave, but at the same time what is easiest isn't always what is best.

TheOaf66 replied: tough to say but first reaction is that if it ever did happen that would be it, over and done with because there would be no trust there.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: I've been cheated on twice by my current hubby. Once was drunkenly, in my face, and only while we were dating, so it didn't really count... but the second time was he sent nude pics of himself to someone, while I was pregnant.

I told him 3 strikes and you're out..... so even though it wasn't physical sex, cheating is cheating... so if I ever find out he did it a 3rd time, he's gone.

Calimama replied: Like said, for me it depends on the situation.

lisar replied: Well me and dh have this thing. If he cheats on me he is SOOOO gone and he knows it. If I cheat on him the I am gone he has made that point very clear. And I would leave with nothing but my clothes litteraly. He would fight me tooth and nail on everything. The kids, the house, the cars, etc... And I would do the same to him though. It would be a very ugly divorce. But I have no intentions on cheating on him. So I am not worried. But if he done it to me. He better watch out.

my2monkeyboys replied: Before I had Will, it would have been over in a second. However, since our child is now involved, I would probably try to work it out as long as it was not a long, ongoing affair. If that was the case, I think it would be over then, too.

mom21kid2dogs replied: He plays, I'm gone. I would never trust him again and I won't live with a man I can't trust. Besides, I'm really not interested in any fringe "benefit" he might bring home to me (i.e. a sexually transmitted disease)

moped replied: I don't know what i would do untiil I was in the situation.......................

Our Lil' Family replied: I think Beyonce says it well, "Everything you own in a box to the left"

A&A'smommy replied:
haha good one I love that song!!!

Honestly I don't know what I would... I did make vows though and I would definitly put it into consideration.

mummy2girls replied: me and marcus both talked about this. and we both agree that is one thing that would make us walk. If he decided to go and have sex with someother girl then obviously he isnt happy and should leave. me vise versa as well.

gr33n3y3z replied: Like I said in the other post

I would stay and his butt would be gone

Cece00 replied:
Word.

I know it would be so, so hard to leave my husband, but I would HAVE to do it. I've learned that the trust being broken in that type of a situation is not repairable.

Jackie012007 replied: but the second time was he sent nude pics of himself to someone, while I was pregnant.

wow rocky - carl did the same to me . I took him back... had I not been pregnant and not now have a baby with him, things might be VERY different right now.

stella6979 replied: No way, no how! When it comes to your spouse, cheating is the most disrespectful thing you could do to them. IMO, once a cheater, always a cheater. And I don't mean that to say that once someone cheats that they always will, but for me, I would always look at that person and think of them as a cheater. There would be no getting around it. Trust is the most important thing and once that's broken, there's no going back. I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life always wondering if my spouse was really going to work, or really just going to play golf or whatever...it would always be in my mind. And I agree about the fringe "benefits". Who knows what your spouse could be bringing home to you?

luvmykids replied: Hard to say. It would definitely take some time away to try to get my head clear. I know all the arguments for leaving and I know I would feel that way, but I think I'd still have to think about it just because I'm super analytical and don't ever make life altering decisions without heavy duty thinking.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
same.

Crystalina replied: This is not hard for me at all. I would stay. We have kids. My kids should not have to suffer because one or both of their parents are idiots. DH and I discussed this long before the kids arrived. Neither one intend to cheat and I'm sure it will never happen but if it did we would live together until the kids grow up. I think two people who make a commitment to bring children into the world should carry it out all the way. We would owe it to them to be civil to one another and to not interupt their lives. DH and I have alot of self control when it comes to arguing because we don't like the kids to even know there is an "issue". I think we would agree that the "marriage" was over, we would stay in the same house and be friends. We have two children together. We could never hate each other. I'm very old fashioned when it comes to this. I went through two divorces with my mother and dh was around for the second one. We don't want that.

redplaydoh replied: Most likely the kids and I would be on the way to the US and he'd be left behind. If I decided to stay no way would things be the same between us.

hoosier momma replied: The marriage would never be the same, but I would try with all of my being to make it work.

Bamamom replied: I agree with you last three. It would be SOOO hard but once we brought a little person (soon to be little people ) into the world things changed. And my religious beliefs just lead me to believe that its best to try and work things out.

That being said I wonder if it would be different if I found out he'd been in a relationship for a long time. I think then the relationship would be over. But a one-time mistake I think I'd have to TRY and forgive and move on.

I hope that if the worst was ever to happen we would be like Crystalina said and manage to live together in the same house for the sake of the children. They need their mom and dad 24/7.

I just can't imagine either of us ever putting our family at risk though. There is so much on the line - so much to lose now, ya know? I just can't imagine that sex would ever be worth it.

TheOaf66 replied: would not stay, that is my one rule...I am the only one

Boys r us replied: No..I told my DH when we were dating and he had the "let's be serious/monogomous" talk...there are two things that you could do to dissolve our relationship with no hope of a 2nd chance from me:

1) Hit me (or the kids now that we have them)

2) cheat on me

In my book both of those things are actions in which a person has the ability to make a wiser decision and never...ever would I be foolish enough to let a man cheat on me and be nieve enough to believe he loved me enough to think about my feelings and our commitment prior to acting on his decision! Nonsense...and in my book being married means you think of your spouses feelings and how everything you do effects them as well as yourself prior to doing anything.


you know the old saying...do it to you once shame on them, but twice shame on you!