Spin off from 4/11 Poll - Kinda Long...

lovemy2 wrote: IMO I do believe the world is not quite as safe but I also feel strongly that media has made us more aware of the horrible things that go on in the world so in a sense our "bubble has burst" and the way we WANT to view the world is horribly tainted by what we hear and see in the media......

In addition to the world not being as safe, I feel what is in some senses worse is that the world is much HARDER place to live in.....by that I mean this...My mom comes and watches my son for me now (she retired in June of 06 so is now available to help me out - which is so wonderful) anyway - she spends all her time when Dylan is napping cleaning my house, cooking dinner for us and doing my laundry - she even sweeps the garage - all in addition to giving Dylan her undivided attention when he is awake - needless to say she looks much different at the end of the day than at the beginning of the day when she arrives... poor thing....

To get to the point - I thank her profusely for all her help in not only taking such loving care of Dylan but also for doing all the things I a) don't have time for and may have time for but am tooooo tired to get to sometimes.....and her comment to me is always the same -

"I am glad to do it for you because I know it helps you, I don't know how you kids do it these days - you work full time, take care of your kids, spend TIME with your kids, try as hard as you can to expose them to things - like sports and dance, etc. etc. all those things you rush home from work to get to, you get them to church EVERY week, you cook, you clean and try to maintain a relationship with your husband outside of your relationship with his as parents, etc. etc." she goes on and on and her point in all of it is that when she was my age raising a family - they didn't HAVE to work so hard or so much - if at all, money wasn't as much of an issue cause things didn't cost as much (granted part of it is that we WANT for more nowdays (some of us), and there seemed to be much more time in a day, a week, a year, etc. - kids didn't seem to grow up so fast because they didn't seem to have to - there was always a parent there when they got home from school at age 11 and still at age 18...(as an aside - I remember when I got my first apartment I was floored that I paid almost $400 a month for a dinky like 400 sq ft apt. when my parents BUILT a 1900 sq foot house that had a mortgage payment including taxes of only $250...............)

I could go on and on but I guess my point is that not only is the world more dangerous, it is also harder IMO - now that being said, I know some of the things that make life harder these days are brought on by ourselves but still....

That's my rant ....would love to hear what others think.....

Twelve Volt Man replied: I've told my wife countless times that I was born decades too late. I fit much better with life in the '40's and '50's, than with the world today. Don't get me wrong... I love my life. I just wish the world today was a bit like when my parents grew up; when people were taught to respect others, work hard, establish strong families, and teach their children good values. Nowadays, it seems like people are more concerned with what makes them feel good, having material possessions, and how things affect THEM.

luvmykids replied: I'm pretty much on the same page as you...I miss the days when I was a kid and nobody thought anything of wandering off for a day, I could go anywhere my bike would take me and as long as I came home when the street lights came on, it was all good. And I guess I'm old fashioned, I love the notion of a whole street full of moms baking cookies with their kids after school....

I definitely think the world is more dangerous in general, I do my best to find a balance where I can teach my kids to be careful without living in fear or distrust. I think the good people out there still far out number the bad and I try very hard to give people the benefit of the doubt in the safest way possible

I do think I kind of shelter my kids, I don't watch the news when they're awake and don't talk about "scary" things in front of them. I don't hardly even let them watch tv unless it's something I've recorded and I can skip commercials or promos for other shows, I'm astounded at some of the things that come on during cartoons Some people may think I'm short changing them but come on, they're kids and I want them to be kids as long as possible. There's plenty of time for them to wise up, right now I feel like it's my job to create a safe haven from the rest of the ugly, cold, hard, scary world and they don't have to venture out of it just yet

flirtycuddle replied: I think the world today is more dangerous for our kids for a lot of reasons. I mean even in the last 10 yrs since my sister was born I've become more aware of just how diff it is now then when i grew up. I never had to worry about talking on the internet or being on a computer till I was already in highschool and such. Now most kids are in chat rooms way before that. I wouldn't dare let my daughter walk around the block to my parents house alone yet I used to walk around the neighborhood all the time growing up. I didnt have to worry about someone snatching me like parents do now. My mom used to live just upstairs from us and even then I told her I wouldn't have my daughter just walk up there without me watching or with her. I used to walk to the store alone all the time by the time I was 10. I dont plan on babying my kids forever but just have to be more cautious of what around and whats going on in todays world. Before you never really heard of baby sitters beating the kids but now its on the news almost daily. No one even thought of a nanny cam but now its more like its just something everyone has. But also some of it is the fact that news is so easy to hear from all over and not just at home so things seem so much worse but who knows how much of this really happened growing up and we as kids just never heard about it

lovemy2 replied:
I am with you on the desire to shelter our kids - and in most ways I do too - probably not to the extent that you are - and the only reason I don't is a major fear of them not knowing what to do when those bad things happen because I never exposed them to it.....that being said - I am very picky about what I expose them too....but out of fear of sheltering them tooo much I do let them see some of the "bad" in the world......even at the ripe old age of 4.....

msoulz replied:

ITA completely. The news doesn't tell us about the 99% of society that are good people just trying to live life. We rarely watch news. I just don't see the point exposing my kids and scaring them with all of the bad in life. I also don't let my son wander the city because I know that 1% is out there somewhere. We can teach him about people that may want to do him harm without him hearing how the man killed his wife and cut up her body, or the man who went to his old workplace and shot three people. I don't want him worrying that we will be killed if we go to work. It's totally unneccesary. And it is totally uncommon and yet if you watch the news you'd think everyone was in danger every minute. It is ridiculous.
Things are different but I am not convinced they are worse for our children. I think this was discussed somewhere before, but as an example, child abuse/molestation has been going on since there were children. IMO our kids are safer now from this because it is discussed and it is no longer something that is swept under the rug, or the priest is transferred to another parish to cover it up.

Technology has and will continue to change things and we parents need to keep up and be aware of what is out there and what the kids are doing, set limits and talk to the kids about it. Yep, there are really bad things on the internet but there are really great things too (like websites where parents can exchange ideas! ).

OK, I'm off now. Someone else may take the floor . . .

lovemy2 replied:
Wonderfully said......you kinda summed up what I meant to say about sheltering my kids and how I try to do it...Thanks

lisar replied: Here is what I believe and to me it makes sense.

I believe that the world is just a little more dangerous the thing is when we were kids you never heard about other kids going missing, and people being raped and killed. And I am sure it was done then. The thing is now the world has a much higher population rate which means there are MORE freaks out there and the media feeds off of this kind of stuff. So back in the day the media never got involved like they do today. I think its a little more dangerous. Sorry if this didnt make any sense its hard to put it into words what I mean.

Nina J replied: I agree with you. I think when I was a kid bad things happened but we just didn't hear about it as often, although I do think there is alot more violence these days. But when I was a kid, we wern't all wrapped in cotton wool.

After the poll I was thinking about it and my parents wern't really that safe around me. I could have been out of the house from breakfast until dinner and they didn't ask questions, and I was under 10 And I also distinctly remember that if anything was hard to get off, like paint or pen, instead of scrubbing it a bit harder my parents would tell us to "Get the turps". I wouldn't let my kids put anything on there skin that comes out of a bottle with poison written on it

redplaydoh replied: DH and I had a disagreement about a bit of this topic recently.

I say the world is more dangerous, that there are more pedophiles, abductions, rapes etc than when we were young. He disagrees... he thinks the statistics are the same but that we HEAR about it more on the news/internet.

I myself think there are more perverts ACTING on their desires/impulses BECAUSE of things like the internet.

DH may be right that the percentages of weirdos to normal people are the same, but I think by having the internet that *some* of these individuals that would've never acted on their desires, now meet like-minded people in chat rooms, talk about their fantasies, share pictures and the wall is lowered, and these people realize they aren't the only one with these twisted desires and began to feel they are more normal, therefore taking it one step further and actually acting upon those desires. Whereas YEARS ago Joe Blow down the street may have had those fantasies but he didn't DARE act on them. Not that it never happened back then, but not to the extent it does today.

Did that make any sense???

lovemy2 replied:
It does all make sense and I can tell you that the media probably contributes to people acting on their impulses and I know that the cops often don't release info on crimes for fear of "copy cats" ...

I do have to say though that even though the media may seem to sensationalize things more, etc. that it is also helpful to the police in finding criminals look at how far things have come in pointing out where sex offenders live, work, etc. they are no longer able to hide (well its harder anyway) which is a good thing....My DH is a sheriff in our county jail and believe me - for as many more criminals as you hear about there are many more being caught because of the media availability for every two that walk out the door six more come in....in my life it provides some wonderful job security.....

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
I agree with this. Just the fact that there is anonymity in doing that kind of thing, more pervs are able to get their "feelings" out without fear of repercussions. The internet has allowed many twisted things to come to surface....

I do shelter my kids, to a certain extent... I won't put on an adult oriented program while they are awake, really, and if they do happen to see some of an adult oriented program, no big deal, we answer their questions if they have any. The last adult oriented program they saw a part of was CSI, and they wanted to know what happened to the dead guy. We told them, they accepted it. Woop Dee Doo.

My grandmother lives down the steet and around the corner from my house. I can see Zach walk to the end of my street, and she can see him as of the end of my street... so now and then, I do let him walk on his own. He has shown the maturity needed to be able to follow instructions properly and stay on the sidewalk, not to talk to anyone, and to RUN if someone comes near him. Sp I will pick up the phone and talk to my grandmother while watching Zach from my front door...and she lets me know when she sees him - so when he's at the point at the end of my street when we both see him, then we hang up, and she steps on her front steps and watches him from there. The distance, btw, is 8 condo houses away. I would NEVER EVER just let him go over without being watched though...even if it IS only a short distance... heck I don't even leave my kids in the cart when I put groceries away... but at some point, I gotta give... the kids gotta learn... and I'm not going to be walking with them across the street until they're 13... kwim?

I live in the wrong time too. I make my own yogurt, bake my own bread, I can stuff, I sew (albeit poorly, but I can... lol) I knit, I crochet. I cook most of our meals from scratch, I grow some veggies. And I absolutely insist on teaching my children manners. My kids are not going to be "those" kids, you know, the ones that run around in a restaurant, or knock you over in an isle in a store because they're running, or make you feel like crap when they say "ewwww!" about the food you just made them, or give you a bruise because you thought they were going to hold the door open for you but then it slams right in your face.

Blah. Now I'm all cranky.