Sorry to give parents another thing to worry about

patzer wrote: During my online safety presentations, I make it a point to take parents into a chat room posing as a 14 year old girl so parents can see how quickly young teens are targeted. Well.... last week I sat down with parents and had a 45 minute chat with a 26 year old man(i hesistate to call him a man) that thought he was talking to a minor.

He asked me all sorts of questions every parent would dread "do I like to drink", "What kind of underwear to I wear: thongs, full or commando" and "had I ever been naked on a poker table?" Well the question he asked me next stunned me to the core. He wanted to know where I go to school. I named a local middle school. He said " I could be your substitute this year!" This guy interviewed this week for a substitute teaching position in Orange County, Florida!

He next asked if I wanted to meet him. A sheriff's deputy that was there with me went over to the McDonalds and the guy actually showed up and waited around for 30 minutes for this 14 year old to show up. He went on the next night to have a 2 hour graphic and disgusting conversation about what he would do to me when he had sex for the first time. I’ve been working with the sheriffs department to make sure this guy never gets into a classroom with students. As a teacher this infuriates me so much. You'd think with programs like Dateline and Perverted Justice these guys would think twice, but sadly they're still driven by their perversion not logic. All the more reason to teach our children online safety well and not depend on parental controls for everything.

C&K*s Mommie replied: I hesitate too...

An instructor at my college was caught in a similiar fashion last year, by agreeing to meet an underaged child. To back up your point You'd think with programs like Dateline and Perverted Justice these guys would think twice, but sadly they're still driven by their perversion not logic. , he was a Criminal Justice instructor, of all professions!

Of all the laws here in Florida, this one hits home the most, since I am a mother. I am pleased that it is a crime to even show up to even meet an underaged child, only to meet with law enforcement, & never getting the chance to act on the sickness in there minds!

mamasbigbaby replied: OMG, that is not a manly thing to do. Thank you for the warning.

patzer replied: Ive posted a bunch of the logs on my site, but ive hesitated to post this guy's information since he lives about 2 miles from my home. In the course of the conversation he gave me 3 pictures, his myspace page, his cellphone number as well as a very bad taste in my mouth.
Take care.
-Mike

TheOaf66 replied: the company I work for is putting on a program for parents about the "dark side of the internet" taught by a police detective that has been received very well. Now my view on this is I am glad the internet came out and whatnot, just think before hand these crazies were all hidden and doing this stuff. At least now they are out in the open and I never knew just how many there really was, I think there should be more and more people that do what you do. Try and get these sickos before they can do any harm.

Boo&BugsMom replied: This is one reason our son will never be allowed to have internet in his bedroom!

patzer replied: Its amazing how many parents ignore the "computer not in the bedroom tip". Thats basically the reason I started my Internet Safety program. If parents are educated as well as their children, you would have far less danger from scum like the guy I mentioned. I am hoping that through experiencing these contact from these predators during my presentations parents will wake up to the fact that these guys are here to stay, we have to bring up our kids to know the dangers and understand them ourselves, because no law or piece of software is going to do our job for us.
-Mike

jcc64 replied: My kids have internet hook ups in their bedrooms, and I am completely comfortable with that, tbh. It depends on the kid, it depends on the parent, it depends on a lot of stuff. I am fully aware that there are freaks all over the place, dying to do all sorts of depraved things to unsuspecting kids. My high school gym teacher was notorious for being inappropriate with girls- touching, leering- nothing technically illegal- but indicative of an unhealthy predisposition, shall we say. Anyway, long after I graduated, he was indicted in a child porn ring of some sort, and is now in jail. My point is, this was long before there was an internet- and had my parents followed the logic of preventing any potential exposure to perverts, I wouldn't have been allowed to go to school. You can't sequester your kids from the evils of the world in which they live. There is danger all around in everyday places- at the mall, on the playground, at school- everywhere. Rather than trying to shield them from it, I prefer to give them the tools to recognize it, and the opportunities to practice protecting themselves from it while they are still under my watchful eyes. I allow my kids to use the internet without me hanging over their shoulders, but before doing so, we have lengthy and ongoing discussions about what sort of conduct is appropriate online and elsewhere. I do occasionally check the history on their browsers, and they are prohibited from deleting it, ever. Their doors must always remain open, day or night. We have rules and restrictions, but I believe it is critical that they also have the freedom to explore their world in a safe way, if they are to survive in it. This way, once they are out of the house and on their own, they will be prepared and full of knowledge and experience.
I'm sure I'll get slammed for being too permissive. I'm sure I'll hear all sorts of horror stories. But I know and trust my kids, and while I can't control the behavior of the big bad wolves out there, I can arm my kids with the tools they need to protect themselves. I'm comfortable with my decision.

patzer replied: You're a parent who is willing to go the extra mile to educate your kids which is the best protect anyone can offer. Your poilcy of keeping the doors open and checking history and letting your children know your trust in them makes keeping then computer in their room much more safe.
-Mike

redplaydoh replied: That is scary, just chills me to the core. I'm glad my kids are only 2 and 3 right now and I won't have to worry with this issue for a while.

ZandersMama replied: shudder

amymom replied: Jeanne, I agree with you, but instead of in his room we have the computer in a main area of the house. It probably is more economics than anything else. More computers are not in the budget right now. I do watch and check my son's MySpace and his history and his chatrooms/IM's. And I think the freedom we give him is similar maybe even more than yours, and I don't think I am permissive at all.


I totally agree with you on this.

Great job IMHO !

redchief replied: We have basically the same policy Jeanne has... Thankfully she got on and typed all that out before me.