So please tell me what it is like - having 2 or more kids

moped wrote: I am a bit freaked out - I mean 3 years ago I had Jack and now another on the way - I am scared that DH can't handle 2 and I am scared that I can't - give me the good and the bad!!!!!

lovemy2 replied: I had a very hard time at first not so much handling it but having to share my time with Olivia - I felt such guilt. Dylan was tough and when I did have down time from him (which was rare) I was so dead tired that I had nothing left for her and it broke my heart - BUT - that saying about how kids are resilient is sooooo true - I thought for sure she would eventually put him on the front porch to be picked up by the Fed Ex man to be taken far, far away but she loves him with such a vengence it is amazing

DH and I are also having a real rough patch now - our time together is so much fewer and far between that we are feeling the seperation big time - with Olivia - my mom worked so she didn't watch her during the day so I never hesitated to ask her to babysit - she always wanted her...so DH and I had alot of time out alone together....now with Dylan, my mom is retired and watches him 2 days a week so I hate asking for her to take them now - plus two is harder than one and she gets tired, etc. (but is a trooper). We have never had a "teenage" or however you want to call it babysitter that we really know and trust and I wouldn't leave Dylan AT this point with one anyway so we are severly lacking on time together and it is getting to both of us and coming out rearing its ugly head...but that can be worked on....

Other than that - I find I tend to want him to grow up quicker than I did Olivia only cause I KNOW how nice it gets when they can walk and talk and tell you what's up, etc. etc. but on the other hand I know this is my last so I don't want him to grow up....

And let's just say I always took a tylenol pm at nite to help me sleep - don't need to anymore so I guess if there is anything really good it is that I save money on tylenol pm

Besides all that - it is the most amazing thing in the world to realize that you have a heart big enough to love more than one, a lap big enough (figuratively hopefully!) to hold two and to see how much Olivia loves him and how much he just shines when she is in his face is the most wonderful thing in the world.....

Don't worry it all comes together......

Mommy2BAK replied: I'm glad you posted this Jen. I've been curious myself.

DillsMommy replied: me too. curious and nervous. people keep telling me how much harder it is with two. I have no doubt that it will be harder at first. but doesn't it get a little easier once you get used to it and get a routine down?

moped replied:
This is what I am really hoping as well

jem0622 replied: It's a cake walk. Seriously. I have 4. Two is nothing. LOL. I have always been a slave to the schedule. This keeps everything predictable, and we have some downtime.

moped replied:
A cake walk? WOW - now that is a good answer!

Mommy2Isabella replied: I am wondering too. Anyone with two kids under age 2??

Bella will be almost two when the new baby arrives but curious as to how difficult it is

danahas4monkeys replied: for me going from one to two was not that big a deal not saying it was easy all the time but I was still in baby mode the first 2 are only 13mths apart then there was 6yrs before number 3 came along so the bigger kids were a help, you'll be surprised how much help even a 3 yr old can be grabbing diapers, wipes, blankies. for us going from 2-3 was the challenge since it had been 6yrs we forgot soooo much but shoot once you hit 3 whats one more lol so 2yrs after 3 we had number 4. I cant imagine it any other way, yeah it gets crazy and sometimes you want to cry right along with them but you'll be fine it all works out in the end! good luck!

moped replied:
YIKES thats right - 2 under 2 - you brave brave woman!

Maddie&EthansMom replied: It's been a great experience for us, having two children. Seriously. It's not always easy, but there are those times that are so much easier with two (like an instant playmate). Maddie used to get so lonely before Ethan came along. Now they play together. True, they do fight, but I have a lot of people tell me how good of friends they seem to be...and they really are. She has always been pretty independent so that helped and she helped me a lot when he was born. She's always been his little momma and looks out for him.

BUT, Maddie was not a momma's girl. She was never jealous of Ethan and she never fought for my attention or acted out when he was born. I think making her a part of the process helped in that. She went to all my doctor's appts with me and even though she was Ethan's age, I tend to remember her understanding much more than he would at this age. She was the first to hold him after he was born And I let her hold him and love on him as much as she wanted to. Maddie and I would do things together while he napped...even if it was just snuggling on the couch watching a movie.

You will be a great mom of two. And we are here for you all the way.

Farelle replied: I felt totally overwhelmed thinking about having my second! I was afraid my first wouldn't love me as much and that I wouldn't have enough time for him. My boys are now 3 and 1 and they LOVE each other!! It was hard at first, be prepared! My oldest was mad at me for about a two weeks when we first brought the new baby home. He wouldn't come near me and it broke my heart! But we got through it and he went back to being my best little buddy again!
It's a big adjustment for all. The hardest thing to do is not feel guilty about the time you'll have to spend with the new baby. But just keep in mind that it's the same love and care you gave to your first born! They adjust to each other. Now my boys spend all their time playing together! They don't like to be separated even if it's while one is napping and the other is awake.
You'll be fine!!!

lisar replied: At first it will be over whelming. But you will get into the hang of it. I am sure Jack will beg for your attention at first. But he will learn and it wont be to hard on him. As of right now I have 2 pulling me in 2 diffrent directions at once. They play extremly well together. They also fight and raygen is only 1 still. And she dont take no crap from Lexi thats for sure. And its always cute when Raygen comes to tell on Lexi all I hear is

bla bla bla bla bla bla SISSY.... All I understand is the sissy part. Which means Lexi done something. Its so cute though. You will love it. The good and the bad. The good is that you will have double the love.

Dont worry you will be just fine.

moped replied: Honestly you gyus don't complain about it ever, so I am living in a dream world that I can handle it and that Tom can handle 2 while I am at work - ahhhhh

Thankfully we get up to one year off in Canada - which I couldn't take, but the option is there if I needed it!

I have jsut been so tired with this pg that I already feel bad for Jack - although I try very very hard when I get home to play with him right until bedtime, I still feel a bit jipped!

Calimama replied:
Is he excited about becoming a big brother?

lovemy2 replied:
I think that is so normal and it was the hardest part for me too, giving up that Olivia time - while I was preg giving some of it up because I was sooo tired and after he came giving some up because I had another little person to take care of....but in the end it has only enhanced Olivia's independence and helped her even more to learn to share - I also make her a big part of his everyday care...feeding, changing, picking out clothes - getting him up in the am, etc.

Crystalina replied: They fight alot but they can't stand being apart. They look for one another first thing in the morning and then shortly after they are telling because the other is looking at them.

You have to fix just a smidge more food. Buy extra clothing if it's the opposite sex but besides that there is no differance. The house is noiser but they entertain each other alot in one way or another. I prefer two over just one because they mesh very well.

I know my answer is all over the place. Sorry.

coasterqueen replied: Ok, I'll be honest.

I can't STAND the fighting! It's driving me absolutely bonkers.

When Megan was a baby, having two was difficult but easier than it is having two now IMO. It's funny because the other day I was asking Dh how I ever handled two for three months by myself when he was gone because I can't seem to do it now and his response was because the 2nd one (Megan) was barely mobile then (just crawling). He's totally right. Things have been a TON harder with Megan mobile. It's probably because Megan is a LOT more maintenance than Kylie was. Megan gets into EVERYTHING and then some. With Kylie I could put her in a room, walk away for a minute or less and she was in the same place. With Megan I could never ever in a million years do that. She would (HAS) gotten into everything. I can't leave her for a second.

And while the girls play together which is VERY NICE, Kylie won't come tell you when little sissy is into stuff she's not supposed to or when she's run off. So I have to be right there with them 24/7. I can't leave the room to go throw a load of laundry in, or well, nothing.

It is awesome watching the two of them interact, though. It really is great having two - - I've just found it 10x harder to get any work done and working full time and having a small amount of time to get the house chores done - well with two I've found it that much harder.

Who knows, though. No one else seems to find it more difficult, though, so it's probably just my personality. I do love having two, though. I wouldn't change it for the world. BUT you'd never convince me that going from two to three is a piece of cake like I seem to hear 24/7. NO WAY NO HOW NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

ETA: Also what I've found hard is balancing my time for them both. Kylie was never jealous of Megan when she was a baby. Now that Megan is a bit older and she needs that encouragement to "be a big girl now", Kylie is super jealous and they constantly fight for my attention and time. They do NOT like to share me at all. So I feel like I'm always asking myself in my brain whether I'm giving one too much attention and not the other, vice versa.

Cece00 replied: I agree with whomever said 2 kids is easy.

Having 2 kids is a VACATION for me. WHen my ex takes my older 2 boys, seriously, its like time off for me. I have 2 kids who are 11 months apart, so even 2 under 2 doesnt scare me.

My2Beauties replied: OK, coming from the newbie mom of 2.....so far it's not the easiest thing, I'm not going to lie. Now talk to me a year from now and I'll probably say it's easy, but right now, I'm still adjusting and it's been sort of hard for me. First of all, the sleep! Needless to say I'm not getting any at all and when you only have one you can sleep during the day when they sleep, well not with 2!!! I've been getting by on 3 maybe 4 hours of sleep a night. Once she falls asleep I have a hard time getting back to sleep and then once I do, it seems like she wakes up an hour later It's killing me. Secondly, lugging them around...this I have not mastered yet. I have to carry the car seat, diaper bag, my purse, whatever else I got from my trip out (groceries, etc) plus get Hanna out of the car too...sheesh it's at least 2-3 trips back and forth from house to car once I get home.

I'm finding that it's really hard to spend a lot of one on one time with Hanna like I'd like to. Once I get something done and I go to play with her, Aubrey will wake up needing to be fed or changed or just fussing and I can't continue to play with her like I want to. Hanna wants to go outside and play a lot too and I can't have Aubrey outside for long periods of time, since it's so sunny out. We haven't had a happy medium here as far as weather, it's either been too hot or too chilly.

Hanna has been a wonderful big sister though, I don't see any signs of jealousy except at nighttime, she has been trying to sleep in the bed with us since Aubrey is in our room in the bassinette, she keeps coming up with excuses to come in our room and hop in our bed. That is the only thing she has done to show signs of jealousy. She kisses on Aubrey, loves on her, is really gentle with her, she tells her she loves her all the time and smiles and coos at her and plays with her...it's really sweet to watch. That is the best part so far.

I mean I don't want to scare you, just prepare you for certain things that are harder with 2...like the sleep, packing for places to go, etc... I'm having fun but I'm also tired.

ZandersMama replied: Be well organized. I found it hard for the first couple of months that Zavier was home, and even now there are days that i want to crawl under the bed and hide, but it is soooo awsome to see Zander randomly bend over to give him a kiss on the head. Or when someone new is here and wants to hold the baby and he says NO THATS MY BABY. So it is awsome, but hard sorry i'm no help

Crystalina replied:
See I have the opposite. Izabella is always eager to tell me when Evan gets into things. Sometimes a little too eager.
Izabella is a goody goody and I have to brag that she never gets into things. She never got into things even as a baby. Evan is making up for that.

Nathansmom replied: I have to say that 2 has easier moments, and some harder moments too...Nathan was just 2 when Ryan was born, so he is handling it well, but still requires a ton of attention of his own too. Some days are a fine balancing act. Ryan is colicky and Nathan doesn't understand why he cries, but now he just tunes it out.
Now that we're in a bit more of a schedule, it is getting easier, after all, they are both in bed and it's only 8 pm. The older Ryan gets, the easier I "think" it might be...I could be wrong, but I think now the the hardest time for both of them.
I have help though, since I work at home, DH took the parental leave for 9 months and that has been a life saver. Once a week I take both boys out for the morning, and I come home to a clean house and he takes care of meals most days, so I am lucky with that.

boyohboyohboy replied: I think at first it was hard, but coming home from just having a baby, and having a new born is hard no matter how many kids are already at home.....
But once you get a routine, I think its great. My two are not much farther apart then yours will be, and once the baby started to move around and make noises, other then crying, caleb really became the protective big brother, and now they are inseperable, they play together and just hug and kiss all day..
its really nice to see their close relationship.
we had trouble for about the first month with some jeolousy, i think with just caleb trying to figure out where he fit in, and where jake fit in, but once he realized that he was still loved and had his own time with each of us, it was fine...
I think its important to give the kids each their own time with both mommy and daddy.
it was also important that we didnt treat jake like he was off limits to caleb, when ever he wanted to help with feedings or baths or what ever, we let him, some people treat their babies like fragile little things, and then yell at the older child when they get to close, and we had to tell the grandparents to back off a few times and let caleb learn to handle jake..its worked out great...

indywndy_04 replied: I don't remember because I am too worried about having 4!!!! AAAHHHHH

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Bad...it's a HUGE reality check...you have to keep more than one occupied at a time...you don't get an ounce of peace and quiet...your maternity leave will be completely different because you wont have just the infant.

Good...the bond you see between the siblings...the older one can help out with the baby when you need him to (Tanner is a HUGE help holding a bottle, getting diapers, etc.)...you tend to be more relaxed with the second one than the first.

For me, when we first got home I was so bewildered. I cried for a week straight. Not PPD bewildered, just stressed because it was such a huge wake up call and reality check. My hormones were nuts! I was scared to even go to the store with both kids because I thought the absolute worst would happen. I didn't have any self confidence in being able to do anything with both. After a couple weeks went by I was better, got out of the house, started finding ways to juggle everything and it got way better. Tanner had a really hard first couple weeks with Aiden around, but as time has gone by he has gotten a lot better with accepting him. The other day he kissed him goodnight and told me "I'm starting to like him now mommy".

stella6979 replied:
That is too sweet.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I could have written this post myself! This is me to a tee!!! Especially the wanting him to grow up already because it will be SO much easier when he can at least sit up on his own and play alone for a few minutes....the lack of hubby time....the grandma you hate to pester....guilt about lack of time with the first child.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: It's really not bad at all, especially now that Allie's a little older and I've gotten used to it. The first couple of weeks were a breeze because the baby slept ALL the time, so I got to spend almost as much time with Andrew as he was used to - I think that really helped him in the whole adjusting process. My one and only complaint in the beginning with the every two hours round the clock feedings was that I couldn't nap during the day when Allie was sleeping, because Andrew only takes one nap a day and for the life of me I could not get the baby to sleep at the same time as him. So that was a bit rough - I thought for a few weeks that I couldn't possibly keep going with so little sleep, but we got through it and now Allie is sleeping longer at night and I've got her nap times coordinated so that she takes a nap in the afternoon at the same time as Andrew does.

Now my main struggle is taking Andrew out to play and to the park - I can't just take him and go I have to bring the baby with and try to keep her out of the sun since I can't just slather her with sunscreen like I do with Andrew. That and the shopping carts at out Wal-mart are too small to put the infant carrier in the main part of the cart, so I have to either put Roo in the big part and try to keep him from standing in it, or let him walk and try to keep him from running off.


Andrew was 20 months when Allie was born, and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Andrew's a big mama's boy, so I thought he'd be jealous and hurt her or something. He was a little jealous and had a bit of a hard time in the beginning when I'd feed her - he would try to climb up on my lap while I was nursing her and that did NOT work. But he loves her and he's always been very sweet to her. The one thing I've been frustrated with is how hard it is to explain to him that he needs to be gentle with her - he's pretty little himself and doesn't quite get it. His "love pats" are pretty exuberant sometimes.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I think it's just been too long for me b/c reading all your posts...it's coming back to me now.

Just think, they grow up SO fast...it's really just a fleeting moment that you miss all the sleep and feel so overwhelmed. Don't try to do too much and don't be afraid to ask for help. Just enjoy the moments b/c really they are gone before you know it. Hopefully Tom will be there to help you out more. Scotty didn't miss one day of work to help me out and I managed just fine. It's not easy, but like I said, don't put too many expectations on yourself and you should be okay.

holley79 replied: I think I saw a post that said you were pregos. If not congrats. I have no clue about more then one kid. I'm kind of like you. I don't think I could handle it but I'm sure we would have it figured out.